God Save the Queen From These Letters
by qhckaloyhzcxtmb
Summary: England's responding to your letters now, too! Everything accepted- OCs, fanmail, yaoi, you name it. Rated T because of England's occasional potty mouth and drunkenness.
1. Chapter 1

To the world,

The Queen has made me start to write letters as a way of strengthening our foreign political relations. To be honest, I don't know how this will be of any help, but under Her Majesty's orders, I am obliged. Send them in, I suppose.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm on the bandwagon xD It looked like no one's done one for England so far (le gasp!), and since when I write to other's letters, I do it as England (or Prussia; usually both), I decided to fix that quick ;D**

**So yep. If you send in something, I'll love you~**


	2. An 'American' 1

Dear, England,

I'm an American who needs help on how to date a Brit. I'm taking interest in one, but deep down, I think he hates me. Can you help me please. I'll give you a free big Mac and a large coke.

~ an American

* * *

><p>Dear 'American',<p>

-flustered- Ah... well, er. I'm not exactly an expert on dating, so please don't take my advise as if it is absolute truth. First, know for certain if he_ hates_ you. That's very strong a word. Perhaps your views on him are misconceived. That tends to happen. Just because someone appears one way on the outside doesn't mean they really are that way. Befriend him first. If nothing horrid happens to you, just keep moving up on the scale.

Um, that's about as much as I can offer. Sorry. But I wish you luck. Us British people_ are _rather dashing.

No thanks to the junk food. I'd much prefer tea and scones.

England


	3. Anonymous 1

Dear England

Hello, I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your cutlass for a while I wanna scare some people. By scare I mean just scare don't worry Im not some crazy person like Russia or Belarus. I am ...I think i'll keep that to myself for safety reasons. Anyway thanks and have a great rest of your life.

P.S I had some extra tea that China gave to me and you can have it. It should be comming in a five by five inch box which means alot of tea for you.

* * *

><p>Anonymous,<p>

I haven't used my cutlass in a while... it's probably very rusty by now. And somewhere in my old chest drawer of mementos. How I wish I could use it to _stab_ that bloody frog-

Er. I mean, sorry, but I cannot allow someone to use anything of mine. It's quite special to me. Besides, think of the security I'd set off by sending a _cutlass _through the Royal Mail. To an anonymous sender, at that?

So, um, who are you?

England


	4. Hungary 1

Dear Arthur,

I'm still pissy that you kept glaring at me throughout the last meeting, but I suppose punishing you by making you watch things Russia does in his spare time on a video camera was a bit harsh. You shouldn't have been yelling at Spain though.

Anyway, how are you lately? I'm bored and for some reason watching this show "The Nanny". The man love interest is British.

I think it symbolizes you and love relationships perfectly~ Ha. Taking forever to realise he has feelings of love~

You're so silly.

Hungary

* * *

><p>Dear Hungary,<p>

It's rather hard to forget your 'video requests' that fast. Sorry. You know the answer is always no. Just don't ask me again. The Queen also reprimanded me for being unusually 'snappy' and the Prime Minister wasn't exactly joyous at my cold remarks toward you. So, because I'm being forced to (again), _sorry_. Same goes for Spain, but if he would stop being so carefree and actually_ focused _on work, perhaps we could fix his economy faster.

_American _sitcoms? Elizabeta, you could do better. Might I suggest The Office? My version, the _original_, thanks, not that fat arse's.

Wh-what? Love... relationships? Ahaha... Hungary, have you been out drinking with Prussia again? Ahaha, er... yeah. You're the silly one. Horribly confused, you are. Yup.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Implied relationships? A mysterious American? I liiike the way you guys think~ ;D**


	5. Empress Vegah 1

England,

I've always wondered when you lost your virginity. Or, if it is still intact. I do hope you'll lose it to a certain American Hero.

PS Please give me a detailed narrative of the loss of your virginity.

* * *

><p>WHAT SORT OF QUESTION IS THAT?<p>

Ugh, but since I _did _promise to answer every letter, and a gentleman never backs out on his word... oh dear _God_. Um, here goes.

I haven't lost it yet -cowers in embarrassment under arms- There's reall-

WAIT.

TO _AMERICA_?

What is with all these letters referencing to _America_?

Y-you are all _barmy_! -nervous laugh-

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't mind Iggy. I approve of USUK greatly, honhonhon~**


	6. Ely 1

Dear United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I am very pleased to write you this letter. My name is Ely and I am… Uhh… American. There, I said it, ok? Please don't hate me and throw this away. =( I may like America quite a bit and I respect him but I am not as… dimwitted as he is.

I am actually very fond of you and have taken a liking to British history, culture, and your humor. I love Harry Potter, the Beatles, and Monty Python. =D Great stuff, dude… Er… man, Mr. England… sir…. ^^; Actually, I am very ashamed to admit I am confused by the terms "England" and "UK" and "Britain." Could you please explain the difference between the three, if there is any? I am SO sorry if this is irritating, especially because I am American. I swear I'm trying my hardest to learn geography and foreign affairs!

Anyway, I uhh… Just wanted to say hello and I would feel honored to receive a response from you. I do have one more question. Would you ever consider dating a regular human being if things with a certain… country… don't work out? I… er… may happen to know a readily available gal! If girls are your thing… umm…

Bye now! -^^-

~Ely

* * *

><p>Dear Ely,<p>

Thank you for calling me by my proper name! Attached are some scones. I greatly appreciate it when people as cultured as you write to me.

I... actually don't mind Americans that much. B-but it's because they provide a lot of tourism for us, that's why! Not because of America or anything... -mumbles something-

Yes, British literature and media and really just _everything_ are quite popular. Your words are very kind. You can call me England, since though my full name is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, I really am just... England. Because my estranged siblings Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland are somewhere out there running amok. But since most people automatically think of me when the UK is mentioned, I sort of am the symbolic representation of us as a whole.

Ah, I can see why you would be confused. I don't mind explaining though. The fact you asked, and an American at that, has just raised my opinion of your country a notch or so.

The UK isn't actually a country. It's made up of countries itself – me, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Each of us are a separate nation, but together we're the UK 'family', I guess you could put it.

Britain, in turn, refers to the larger island in the United Kingdom, which is off to the right and consists of everyone but Northern Ireland, who is in the same smaller island to the left with _Ireland_, a completely different nation not part of our 'family'.

England is just me, one nation.

So to put it together: England is part of Britain, which is an island of the UK.

I hope that explanation cleared up any doubts. The Queen seems pleased with someone wondering the difference between all those terms, because it can get a bit confusing. Americans really never want to know that doesn't concern them. You're welcome to visit me anytime you want; the tickets attached are courtesy of us.

I'm honored myself someone thinks so highly of me! Really, come visits. You'd love it here. We have _real_ castles, not that fake Disneyland 'castle' in California or wherever it is. I lose track of America's different corporations out to mimic us and drain you all out of money.

Er... c-can we leave my love life out of this? I'm not really interested in... -voice falters at the end- Um, yeah.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There's a great YouTube video out there detailing the difference between all those terms. 'The Difference between the United Kingdom, Great Britain and England Explained'. Highly recommended. It's also pretty funny.**


	7. Washington DC 1

Iggy,

Uncle Iggy, what's goin' on? It's Washington D.C. here~ You remember me, don't  
>you? America's daughter, got in trouble for taking pictures of all the<br>couples? Ya know, Aleckis? Anyways, I was wondering if you could come over and  
>visit soon? Dad's not feeling to well right now, terrible flu stuff. I think<br>it's the recent dive in the economy. Now, I'm certaintly not in the best shape  
>of my life, but SOMEONE has to take care of him. And could you tell me<br>anything you used to do that could help him get to sleep? He really needs it,  
>he's been restless for days. Dad's even called my Arthur about five times<br>already...I'm scared...

Love,

Aleckis "D.C." Jones

* * *

><p>Dear Washington D.C.,<p>

Of course I know who you are. I... sort of burned your capitol building during the War of 1812. Besides, you're America's capital; of course I know who you are. P-pictures? I don't remember, but do I_ really _want to know? Highly doubt it...

Visit. America.

Hmm, let me think about th– NOT EVEN IF-

-scribbles of pen across the page, many words are scratched out, paper appears crumpled here-

Alright. Let me try again.

I would_ love_ to visit your father. Since his boss visited us not that long ago, we in turn should pay our _greatest allies _a visit. I will be on my way soon enough.

-glares at Prime Minister while he isn't looking-

W-wait. He called you 'Arthur'? He barely uses my human name in real life...

Ah, anyway. I'll see you and your father, Aleckis.

England


	8. Washington DC 2

Iggy,

KIND HURT.I HAVE A FUCKING SCAR THAT COVERS HALF OF MY BODY, YOU ASS.I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU OR CANADA SO MUCH AS COME NEAR ME WITH SOMETHING ON FIRE I'LL BLOW YOUR FU-

-words are scratched out, paper is a bit crumbled and...wet?-

Er, sorry about that. Still a bit touchy. Anyways, why do you hate dad so much? I mean, sure you'r not on the /best/ of terms, but I mean, you were like his dad, right? That has to count for something. England, as much as you think he may hate you, he really doesn't. He still looks up to you for help, ya know? Please, don't be mad.

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Washington D.C.,<p>

Don't address me so vulgarly! I am your superior. Besides, don't YOU think that I have my fair share of scars as well? Your 'heroic' pitiful father _left_ me at the end. Because _that's_ wonderful, to have someone you care about just leave! I had a great empire once, and now I've got nothing. Not even my own_ siblings_ want anything to do with me. You don't need to remind me of my pasts mistakes, Washington D.C. I live with them daily!

. . .

I-I need a drink. Tell your father my forced visit will be delayed...

Snapped!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry, D.C.! D: 'Twas bound to happen. Poor England, hiding all his pent-up emotions inside. Anyway xD Drunk!England will come sooner than expected ouo**


	9. Hungary 2

Dear Arthur,

Requests? No, I never asked you to watch them. If I remember correctly, I MADE  
>you. In a the World Conference meeting closet. yeah I never figured out that<br>the room actually had a closet, Or couches. Guess we BOTH learned some things  
>that day~<p>

If you haven't noticed neither Spain or I are in very well condition, him more  
>so than I, and pressure from your enormous eyebrows of doom isn't going to<br>help. What helps is handouts...lot's and lots of handouts.

Like I said I was up late after blowing up on a few choice countries(Francey  
>better back off next time...), and I had nothing to do.<p>

The Office, hm? Maybe I will. I just hope you and your dry sense of humor  
>isn't decieving me about a good show, Arthur.<p>

Fat arse?...G-God,..you're so...British...

N-NO. GILBERT CAN GO GET DRUNK BY HIMSELF. D-Damn albino keeps breaking into  
>my house...<p>

No, Artikins~ That's you. Let me try and describe the perfect man for you, one  
>detail each letter. How about that? Maybe when you're interested in who I'm<br>describing, I'll tell you~

Elizabeta

P.S.- He's a blondie.

* * *

><p>Elizabeta,<p>

P-please don't make me r-remember... -shudder-

M-my eyebrows aren't _that _thick! -turns red- I don't exactly have all sorts of riches to hand out, and it's not all up to me to decide who gets a bailout. Greece is probably worse off than any of you. But he sleeps so much, I'm starting to wonder if he already died and none of us noticed.

You beat up that bloody frog? Thank you, from all of us.

British humor isn't dry! It just requires some..._ refined, acquired_ taste. Like my cooking.

Hmm. But of course. Because him breaking into your house means nothing? -smirk-

I DON'T NEED TO BLOODY KNOW. -is even redder-

England

P.S. Most of us nations are. N-not that I actually wanted a clue, mind you. I don't want to know. No, no, no, no, _no_.


	10. Washington DC 3

Iggy,

Pfft, I will if I want to.

...

Ehe, sorry 'bout that. Like I said, a /bit/ touchy.

It's also /wonderful/ to know the only reason you exist is because someone  
>else died. Fan-tucking-fastic. Hell, I still know some states that hate me<br>because of it. EVERYONE like the capital, then I came and now no one wants  
>anything to do with poor little D.C.<p>

Suck, ya know? New York, Virginia, they STILL pretty much hate me. I know you  
>have scars. I do too, we all do. Wether thay be emotional or physical. I've<br>been there, ya know? Terrible to hear your older brother's say they hate you  
>and wish you were dead to your face.<p>

...

Oh god, not again. Make sure you don't break anything, or turn anyone back  
>into a kid andor mochi.

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Ale- Alexis? Alec? Ah, whoever you are,<p>

-drunk giggle- Yup, you do seem a biiit touchy~ Lighten up, lad. It could be *hic* worse. What if the person you cared about the *hic* most just left you? Ahaha, now isn't that absolutely hilarious~? It happened to meee! _Bloody_ funny, I say!

I'll do *hic* something with you, if you want! I'm reeeeally sorry I burned you. Let's be friends, alright? Uni and Tinkerbell will *hic* love you~! Maybe if I'm nice to you, America will be nice to _me_!

Oh... A-America... why did you leave me, America? You could have been the greatest colony _ever_...

I dun care abou' my brothers! ! -flails arms in drunken anger-

Aaaaargh! No one loves me! -starts to cry-

Not even *hic* my own siblings! My own family! What if your own family just _ditched_ you, huh? Wouldn't you be *hic* all happy, like me, too? Happy, happy, happy!

As if that git America wasn't enough. It still hurts, ya know? -beats chest where heart is- Riiight there. It hurts there.

Me?_ Trouble_? You're *hic* out of your mind! Ahahaha*hic*ha!

Drunk!England


	11. Belize 1

Hi Papi~

It's Belize! You know, your son that lives in Central America?

Anyway, big sister Guatemala is making lunch right now and I had to sneak a letter in. I still don't know why she doesn't like you...

I asked Él Salvador if he wanted to try some of my food, but he blanched... does my food suck?

Oh, can you tell Flying mint bunny I said hi?

Belize (Micos Johnson)

* * *

><p>Ah, it's you, Belize! My old *hic* British Honduras! You used to be a really prosperous colony of mine, didja know? My... last colony... in America -sniff- That was... you! Why did you all leave me? Was I not a good father? 'Cause that's *hic* reeeal offensive. Some of you grew up to be juuust pine and dandelion! So why hate me? Guady-mala just has *hic* something up her arse, then! You're a wonderful little colony~!<p>

You should visit me and *hic* we can cook _together_! Like in the old days! Your cooking is wooonderful, Belize, just like mine~

Flying Mint Bunny is circling me right now and is wiggling his *hic* nose, so I guess that's a greeting? Ahahaha, Flying Mint Bunny, your tail is *hic* tickling me! Stop it, why don't you? Ahahaha~!

Drunk!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh my god I know you~ You write in as other Central American nations for Spain's letters! 8D I'm Prussia there. I was England for a while. Hi~ But enough stalking stuff. Ahaha, I can see why Belize would be like a mini England. And why Guatemala would be hissy around Iggy. 'Tis fine.**

**Also, when England is drunk, he uses malapropisms. 'Pine and dandelion'= 'fine and dandy'. And so on.**


	12. A Singaporean 1

Dear England,

Begging your pardon, but why are your eyebrows so thick? Is it real? I deeply appologise if I have insulted you in any way.

From, a singaporean

* * *

><p>Singed-a-pore-anne,<p>

These are *hic* as real as fairies! B-but I dunno why *hic* they're so thick. A curse gone wrong, pro*hic*bly...?

-drunk sob- N-now you've *hic* hurt my feelings! Why do I have these bloody eyebrows? More... rum! RUUUM.

Drunk!England


	13. Hungary 3

Arthur,

Hehee~ Scarring you for life is fun, you know? You make awkward sounds.

That sounded wrong, but I don't care.

Oh please, your eyebrows are the biggest in all of Europe. Maybe people would  
>stop picking on you for them if you showed pride in them? Worked for me and my<br>yaoi.

Which you're still on my target list for,...but I'm not about to let you know  
>what that means.<p>

I was joking about the handouts Sweetie. Really, to formal. Loosen up. Also, I  
>wouldn't doubt that either, Greece is just the kind of man people lose track<br>of easily.

Oh I did more than beat him up. B-Bastard...hope he's in that damn hospital  
>for WEEKS! Tough my lake...damn seggfej...<p>

Acquired taste. Right.

OH NO. DID I JUST GET TEASED BY THE WIZARD OF BROWS?

Y-You...you shut up. I d-don't need crap from you.

YES YOU DO~

Elizabeta

P.S.- He's very ditzy, but if you get him alone he might get more heart-felt  
>with you.<p>

* * *

><p>Elizabeth,<p>

Did anyone ever tell you your name is like *hic* Queen Elizabeth's? She's from England~ She says *hic*llo!

N-no! No, I hate these eyebrows! Hate them, hate them! -bangs fist on table- HATE THEM! Why should I *hic* take pride in such an accursed *hic* feature of mine? They make life hell!

Target list? You're right, I *hic* dunno what that is~ Then again, I don't know a l-lot of things. Stupid, stuuupid England -smacks self on head- But America is stupider! America is an idiot! You're an idiot, America, d'you *hic* hear?

I'M A WIZARD! I put on my robe and wizard hat because I'm a *hic* wiiizard!

You're talking about *hic* America, aren't you? Why did he l-leave meee? He could have been a world superpower. We could have *hic* ruled over all of you! ALL OF YOU! -flails arms accusingly-

Drunk!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Google 'I put on my robe and wizard hat'. It'll explain that random outburst XDDD**


	14. Washington DC 4

Iggy,

Huh, tell me about it. Anything I should know, England?

Suure~ As long as I get to meet Flying Mint Bunny~!

Pfft, America loves ya, you'd think it'd be obvious.

...uh...mood swings much?

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Aleckis,<p>

Nope, *hic* nothing to know that isn't already known~!

Flying Mint Bunny is getting quite *hic* a few requests lately! Why don't you visit me, instead *hic* of me going aaall the way across *hic* the pond? If you bring America, it'd be like a re...re...reunion! Ahahah- -stops laughing drunkenly to cry drunkenly-

Why does everything have to do with A*hic*merica? I dun wan to hear anything about that git eeever! Because I don't care about him! Nooo, why am I lying? I do. No, I *hic* don't. I'm just a sad, pitiful nation who's going to the *hic* corner n-now to drink myself to oblivion and hopefully *hic* die... I dun care about anyone. Except *hic* America. I think. I DON'T KNOW. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO *hic* LEFT MEEEE!

Drunk!England


	15. Belize 2

Hi Papi~

...Papi...are you drunk?

A-ay! I-I don't hate you Papi! It's just that I wanted my independence, and  
>I'm 17. I wanted to grow up in the world!...please don't call me British<br>Honduras... I know you say it with love, but the Spanish Honduras is creeping  
>everyone out right now...<p>

Guatemala IS a bit formal about everything, I guess. But she's my big sister.

You were a great father! It's just that we all needed to grow up.

Yaaaay~ when can I come over? I'll book a flight as soon as possible!

Ooh yay! Flying mint bunny's so cool! All of my magical friends say hi!

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Ugh... my head is throbbing like mad. Mmf.

D-drunk? I wrote to you... _drunk_? Oh dear. I apologise. I don't even _remember _drinking. I'm sorry. I need to set a better example for my col- I mean, ex-colonies.

You don't hate me? That's... um, thanks, I guess. I-it seems everyone does now -sigh- And a g-great father? Thanks, too... I barely get anything nice said to me. It's pleasant to know at least one of my former colonies doesn't want me dead.

Well, my boss is making me visit America, but I... don't want to. Perhaps if you come, I'll have to say, because as a host, I must show you around. Come whenever you please.

Flying Mint Bunny seems happy; he's nudging the letter affectionately. How are your _duendes_, I believe you call them? Your friends were always a bit... creepy to me. They're thumbless -shudder-

Looking forward to seeing you,

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Than you x3 I'll check out your letters, too. Drunk England is funny to write, haha~**

**And he isn't drunk anymore, aw.**


	16. An 'American' 2

Um so my hungarian friend suggested I ask this Brit I was talking about  
>earlier. The problem is I don't know what to say. Any suggestions to the hero?<p>

~alf- I mean an American in need.

* * *

><p>Dear Sir,<p>

...hmm. Do I know you?

-shakes head- I'm... sorry, I was drunk earlier.

Well, um, perhaps just be nice at first. Don't rush things; people hate that. If you want to succeed, then you'll conform to the other person's own pace. For example . Don't break a door open and announce to everyone that you, the hero, are there and then try to tackle whoever you like and then 'inconspicuously' wrap your arms around them. That's too.. soon. Start out calmer. Earn their trust first as a friend. If they like you enough, perhaps then you stand a chance.

But that's just useless rambling. To fully answer your question, you could just say suggest something simple, like taking a walk or going somewhere nice. That's friendly enough and isn't _too_ much like a date.

No matter what, though, don't give up. Because you'll end up regretting it.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: HONHONHON~ Implications~!**


	17. Empress Vegah 2

England,

You even have to ask why all these letters refer to America. I mean,  
>seriously. Do you even know what you always do that is related to America?<p>

And hey, please do send me a letter alright, if you lose it! The detailed  
>narrative...<p>

* * *

><p>Madam,<p>

I won't stand for your implications about something between myself and America! -is red-

There's nothing there. I a-assure you.

If you wish to keep writing correspondence to, please, be more decent. You're as obvlivious to everything as Amer-

. . .

Well. I'll _definitely_ keepthat future letterin mind -dripping sarcasm-

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Herp derp, I was blind and didn't see your UN. I'll put you down as 'Empress Vegah', not 'Fan'.**


	18. Hungary 4

Arthur,

My name is ELIZAVETA. or Elizabeta, if you insist on putting the b there, but  
>DO NOT call me Elizabeth! I WILL KILL YOU.<p>

Then why don't you trim them? Plenty of ways to do it.

ARE YOU DRUNK? DAMN IT WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE GONNA GET SMASHED? I have  
>been waiting for DAYS to find someone to be my drinking buddy, everyone else<br>has been busy.

YOU, stay right where you are. O-Oh hold on...where's the beer...hm...-

AHA-

...D-DID YOU JUST TRY TO COME ON TO ME?

He is world superpower Arthur...Yeah.

Rule over me? EXCUSE ME? I WILL CRUSH YOU!

Chugging Beer As She Writes,

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

Well, _pardon me_ for being British and being accustomed to _our_ way of spelling things. Elizabeta looks better anyway; it seems more Anglicised. Your death threats are _so_ frightening, my dear. Hmm.

-turns red- I-I do trim them. They just grow back r-really fast...

-turns redder- No, I'm not drunk! I mean, I _was_, but I've got control of myself now. Don't drink. Prussia will only be able to rape you better that way.

...it's the truth.

-reddest color ever- NO! D-don't listen to me when I'm drunk! I ramble! You- you _know_ better, Elizaveta!

America's power is quickly fading. China's threatening to take his place.

I know I was intoxicated when I said that, but I_ easily _could. Do you forget I once ruled 2/3 of this planet?

England

P.S. Don't drink. Please. You're setting up your own death by Prussia. There's better ways to leave this Earth.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm not quite sure what you Googled, either. It's an old meme that came to mind, ha.**


	19. Fredericksburg 1

Dear England

Hello I'm Fredericksburg I'm a town in Texas and well I wanted to invite you  
>on a hunting trip do you wanna come. If not then your going to miss out on all<br>the good food (homemade not the stuff America calls food). Also who will be  
>accompanying us if you decide to go is Austin, Manor, Texas (not America so<br>don't worry) and a few others who have yet to give me an answer.

* * *

><p>Fredericksburg,<p>

I'm due to visit America soon (unfortunately). I suppose I could stop by, but no hunting, please. We outlawed certain hunting of animals here long ago and I'd like to continue obeying the law, even if I'm in a foreign country. Besides, rabbits remind me of Flying Mint Bunny and I... don't think I could bring myself to kill one of them, honestly.

I'll have to see if my boss permits me going South. Though I am visiting your father, I'm going to his capital, and you're further south.

However, I'm flattered you offered me an invitation. That's very kind of you.

Cordially,

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey, I live in Texas! 8D**


	20. Madrid 1

Dear Señor Inglaterra,

¡Hola, mi llama es Madrid! Ahh... that is, my name is Madrid. I don't have a  
>llama - but that would be very entertaining, I must admit! Instead, I have a<br>really big dog who likes to sit on me and attempt to crush me with his fat.  
>Ahaha... ack. Enrique es un perro loco...<p>

How are you?

Sincerely, Madrid y Enrique el Perro

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Oh, you're Spain's capital. I'm surprised anyone related to him is writing to me, but hello.

That dog sounds like the canine version of America -dry laugh-

I'm doing quite well. But that's not as important; how are _you _faring? Your father's been very sick and moody lately. I hope he's treating you well. He can be a bit of an arsehole when under pressure.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN:_ Another_ person from Spain's letters~! xD Hi!**


	21. Belize 3

Hi Papi~

Yes, you got drunk...

Why does everyone seem to hate you? I don't get it.

You have to visit America? Nicaragua hates him! She doesn't seem to like you  
>much either, something about you being bipolar when it comes to central<br>America. But she is grateful that you gave that American person that was  
>harrassing her to Honduras.<p>

Flying mint bunny is so cool! Yeah, that's how you say it! *sigh* I know that  
>they're kinda creepy... but they help me do a lot of stuff!<p>

I'm gonna come over tomorrow, if that's okay with you!

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

I need to learn how to control that...

Someday when you're older, you'll understand. You're still a fairly young nation, but when you're as old as I am.. -bitter laugh- You'll see that not every country wants to be friends with you. More often than not, everyone around you wants to kill you. Greed's a powerful thing.

Ah, it seems America is also another person disliked by many. Yes, I have to visit him. Our bosses get along, so I have to fulfill a gentlemanly duty of strengthening our alliance by meeting in person.

-sigh- Power can make a man insane and do things he'd never do. I wish I could take back all of my barbaric actions, but unfortunately I can't. History is in the past, but it is also a daily occurrence. In the future, I hope that... ah, never mind. I'm getting sappy here.

I look forward to seeing you, Belize. Of course it's fine if you come tomorrow.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's a good thing, then, that he doesn't have he curse of the bush-brows :P**


	22. Valencia 1

England

Hi! I'm one of Spain's cities!

I just wanted to warn you:

Tell your people to buy suncream! I can't stand them every summer with their  
>BRIGHT RED skin in my beach. It's not healthy!<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

My, more of Spain's cities? A pleasure to meet you.

Ah, w-well, we're rather... pasty. I can't blame them for wanting a tan, but apparently, we don't turn caramel, we turn strawberry.

I know it's not healthy, but if I pass a law forcing everyone to wear it, the tanners won't be happy. Perhaps post signs on your beaches warning them of the health hazards?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Mooore Spain's letters people! Is it creepy I know this? Bahaha.**


	23. Hungary 5

Arthur,

Anglicised? Not everything can be how YOU want it. My name is MY NAME. I don't  
>tyr and mess up your name, do I? or should I start doing that to piss you off?<p>

OH. You do...Skipping this topic? Agreed.

*Beer stains here* W-W-What? WHAT MAKES YOU SAY T-THAT? I swear to Isten...-

The TRUTH? I'll show you the truth...

I know better? I suppose I do.

Mhh...the room is spinning..Haha~ Hey, I got a question. What's your favorite  
>drink?<p>

Oh, and when that happens what do you *hic* think will happen to him?

Oh? 2/3 my ASS! Don't even try it on me.

Tipsy!Elizaveta

P.S.- NO, You mean setting up his own! He couldn't *hic* handle it in bed.  
>Roderich couldn't either! Why are men so incompetent...a-and why don't I<br>freakin' have one...

* * *

><p><em>Elizaveta<em>,

Satisfied?

I get called from everything to 'English bastard' to my actual name, so bloody _try _me, love.

Definitely agreed.

Looks like _I_ found _your_ weak point, Elizaveta, ahahaha! Bring up anything remotely related to America, I'll bring up Prussia.

...put down whatever alcoholic drink is in your hand, Hungary. You're starting to get... ah, well, you'll regret going back and reading this later.

D-don't bring up alcohol anymore! -twitches, tempted by some rum nearby-

England

P.S. AH! -covers ears- I don't need to know that! Stop it, Elizaveta, before you tell me more that I don't wish to know! You're only embarrassing yourself!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Spain's letters Hungary, why hello~ I'm the cause of your drinking troubles in those letters. KESESESE. /end Prussia outburst**


	24. Madrid 2

Señor Inglaterra,

Hello! Ah, I'm not picky about who I write to - unless it is to mi amiga's  
>padre, Russia. He's creepy, if her description is anything to go by.<p>

America? No. Enrique is much scarier than America, at least in appearance.

Bien. I'm glad to hear that! I'm well enough, thank you. I've been much worse!  
>Papa España has always been a good father to me. I wish there was something I<br>could do to make him feel better. I know he can be like that, but I still love  
>him!<p>

Sincerely, Madrid y Enrique

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Russia's a bastard. End of story. _Who _writes to him?

Oh, I meant that both your dog and America are fat. Ahaha...

America isn't scary, though. He's scared of nearly everything, himself.

I really do hope your situation is resolved promptly. I believe your father is one of the nations that may receive a bailout? Correct me if I'm wrong. At the last meeting, I was... distracted.

England


	25. Serbia 1

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

I have recently become an independent country after the end of the Second  
>Yugoslavia. You are a great nation and I bid good tidings to your queen. We're<br>really sorry about World War One and the giant mess we created. I wish to  
>propose an alliance between the Republic of Serbia and the United Kingdom of<br>Great Britain and Northern Ireland. I'd rather not lay out all the terms of  
>the agreement in this one letter. Can we arrange a meeting in Belgrade or<br>London?

The Republic of Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

I thank you for addressing me formally. You'd be surprised how many nations use casual terms in official letters.

The compliments, as well, do make me proud. The past is the past; you can't fix your mistakes form then. Focus on the present.

I'm not one to make alliances; Her Majesty and the Prime Minister are the ones who do that. But I'm sure that if your president contacted them, a meeting could be arranged. Don't call it alliance, though. That makes it sound as if we're at war and we're teaming up. Wars are something I'd like to avoid for a while. A friendship, however, would be beneficial.

England


	26. Ely 2

Dear England,

Ahhh.. Thank you for the scones! They were delicious! … Umm… I think I  
>hear someone at the door… *runs off somewhere*<p>

I return! Yes. Indeed. Delicious. I'll save the rest for later! -^^-

And I certainly do understand what you mean, sir. I don't judge you either  
>way. If you do or don't appreciate Americans for tourism, I am still a fan!<p>

I thank you kindly for explaining it all for me, sir. I do wonder, however,  
>why I haven't heard much from your siblings. It does get confusing since you<br>are the main representative for all the countries of the UK and people call  
>you so many different names because of it. How did you get stuck with the role<br>of representing all of them? Do you enjoy it?

My honest intention is to break as many stereotypes against Americans as I  
>can. I will admit I still have my flaws, like being behind on current events<br>and whatnot. ^^' I'm really trying though.

Mr. England I am so honored you'd send me tickets to your homeland! The  
>thought of going to REAL castles is wonderful! …However, I do happen to like<br>the Disney castle. =( It's one of the happiest places on Earth! …But also  
>one of the most expensive places on Earth. *gasp* You're right. They're<br>out to get us and what little money we have left! *sob* Oh, now who am I  
>supposed to pledge my allegiance to?<p>

Ah. Rejection. I mean… Yes I understand. ^^' …Yeah… My sincerest  
>apologies for bringing that up. I hope this doesn't make things awkward from<br>now on…

…

Too late.

~Ely

* * *

><p>Dear Ely,<p>

There's always more of where those scones came from! Cooking is extremely enjoyable. Should you ever want any, or other English recipes, feel free to ask.

They provide quite a bit of money for us. But we get visitors from all over. American just seem to be attracted to castles the _most_. Perhaps because, like I said, you have no real ones.

It is of no problem at all. Um, you don't hear from my siblings much because I... sort of... forced them to join me. I used to be a great pirate and took much land as my own. 2/3 of the planet was once under my control. A consequence of that is having others hate you, even family. I guess I'm the main representative because the most populous and well-known country in the United Kingdom is me. People often forget about my siblings, but never really me. I'm neutral about it. While it's nice to be so well recognized, I do sort of feel bad for my siblings in the shadows. It's also a lot of work. Both positive and negative outcomes come from this.

The BBC is an excellent source of news! And as many American stereotypes as there are, I know you're not all that way. Just like not everyone over here is an avid tea-drinker. With people come general views of them, but I guess that's what makes the world_ the world_.

...You could pledge your allegiance to Her Majesty? Really, anyone as intelligent as you and in love with our culture will be welcomed here. Disneyland isn't 'the happiest place on Earth'. What bollocks. Their magical creatures aren't actually magical, but born from a greedy businessman's mind. It angers me, using _my_ friends as_ theirs_.

Ah... er... so, well... yeah -awkward conclusion-

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You're welcome~**


	27. Belize 4

Hi Papi~

I really don't mind.

Is that why Papi Spain doesn't like you? He's always saying something about an  
>"armada". I was really little back then, so I don't remember much.<p>

Oh, okay. I don't really talk to America much...

Please don't get sappy,Papi. I know.

Okay Papi! I'm gonna go pack!

Belize

* * *

><p>Dear Belize,<p>

If I explain it to you, I'd do so in a way that makes me sound as the hero, so I don't think you would have a fair view of it if I told you. I'll tell you what happened from my point of view, but ask Spain as well so you have an ambiguous view.

He tried to invade me but it didn't work and I nearly annihilated him. I benefited from this great victory, but Spain was the complete opposite.

A-a-ah, well. I tend to get carried away when reminiscing.

Don't forget umbrellas and other clothing for rainy days.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **BAHAHA. I guess they both had a bit too much to drink once and were near a hotel~? XD**


	28. Valencia 2

England

"More of Spain's cities?" how many of us are writing? I wonder what Spain will  
>say about that...<p>

Well, it's nice to meet you too~~

No! Nooo! NOOO! They don't want a tan! If that were true, they would be  
>completely red. But when I see them shirt-less, their skin... is white AND<br>red! Their arms and legs is red... Everything else is WHITE. WHITE! Even  
>Prussia is tanner than that!<p>

I have some creams that get you a healthy tan ^^

And I DO have post signs... Although, they're not in English. They're in  
>Valenciano. But, hey! Valenciano is easy to read! Més fàcil que l'anglés!<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

You and Madrid. He probably won't be too happy -smirk-

I don't mean to sound snappy, but we do provide a fat sum of your money form tourism, don't we? By making them wear proper clothing, I think we'd stop going there and instead to France's beaches or something. Ugh. Id much rather have my people go to your father's place than that frog's. We never get too much sun here; that's why we love the sun so much. Well, by we I mean my people. I don't mind our usual rain.

Sell them, maybe? Extra profit.

English is a widely speak language. Having signs in it would help many people.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Is it bad I didn't know Valenciano existed? :x It looks an awful lot like French. Hmm. what's your mother tongue? Mine's actually Spanish -is Mexican- Yup. **


	29. Hungary 6

Arthur,

Very much so.

Okay, Mr. Wallow-In-My-Drunken-Pity! I could go all damn *hic* day! Love?  
>Pfft, priss.<p>

Bring up Prussia and you won't have a mouth anymore.-

DAMN IT. B-BROKE MY F*scribbled out and messy string of swears here* WINDOW!

NO! My alcohol. MINEE.

Also, you admitted America is your weak point. If what you assume of my  
>relationship with Gilbert is comparable to yours with Alfred, What does *hic*<br>that make your situation? HM?

OWND BY A DRUNK CHICK! OOOOOOOOO~

Go ahead, be tempted. Then we can go streak the Autobahn together. Just don't  
>tell Luddy I'm planning that, last time he got PISSED.<p>

Elizaveta

P.S. - Embarrassing myself? *hic* No, think of this as a sequel of "Hungarian  
>camera torture!"<p>

* * *

><p>Elizaveta,<p>

Hmph. You always were an awful lot like Prussia. Stubborn. Arrogant. It's a shame you two never became a unified country -evil smirk-

Being a priss is better than being a drunk _woman_. Have you no sense of decency?

That's all the proof you need, darling. Deny it no longer. Perhaps Frenchy can do the world good and arrange for you two to get together.

Prussia will come and steal it, you know.

I-I did no such thing! -blush- And America and I are s-strictly in a political relationship, not... romantic or whatever else you other perverse nations think! You've actually_ slept _with Gilbert; what does THAT say, huh? -nervous laughter- Ahaha! S-so there's something you have with him that won't go away, ahaha.

Nngh.. must... resist... I have stronger willpower! I'm the bloody United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and I don't drink to wallow in self-pity!

DON'T DRIVE! ARE YOU MAD?

England

P.S. OhdearGod...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks xD You make a great Hungary yourself. Tough and intimidating but occasionally sweet, yet secretly evil in the inside.**


	30. Madrid 3

Señor Inglaterra,

Mi amiga, 'Moskva,' did when she was visiting me. She got really annoyed with  
>him after a while and started mumbling in Russian. It was a bit scary, but.<br>then again. she is his daughter. Fortunately she's nothing like him until  
>someone gets on her nerves! ...That explains why she was glaring at me while I<br>was sick.

Now that you point it out, he is comparable to America. Enrique looks scary,  
>but now he's such a coward - and a lazy bones, but if he sleeps his days away,<br>I won't mind. He deserves a break after his life as a stray.

I've not the faintest idea. He's not said anything about it, but it's  
>possible. I'll have to ask him when I get the chance.<p>

Madrid y Enrique

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

A-are you sure being friends with someone related to _Russia_ is alright? She doesn't sound exactly warm and inviting. I didn't know Russia had... -gulp- a _daughter_. Eeeh -shudder-

That sounds like America, sure enough -short laugh- That's wonderfully nice of you to take in a stray. Mind if I ask if he actually is a personification of anything, or if he's_ just_ a dog?

Do that. I'm certain he'll be happy you're concerned for him.

England


	31. Serbia 2

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

Mirko Cvetković is busy at the moment, but I'll inform him of a friendship as  
>soon as he's free. I look forward to seeing you again at the next United<br>Nations conference.

Republic of Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

Ah, I see. With the recent arrest of that vile war fugitive, I can imagine that he's busy giving speeches and other celebratory events.

The UN meetings seem to always occur, ahaha. But I do know that you are applying for EU membership. You're a very potential candidate. Now that Mladić has been captured, I'm sure more nations will approve of you joining us. In the European Union

England


	32. Belize 5

Hola Papi~

Oh, okay. Papi Spain tried telling me about it once, but I was really tired  
>that day.<p>

It's okay. Big sister Guatemala gets that way when thinking about Abuela Maya.  
>It find it really sad that I was too young to remember her...<p>

Okay! I lived in London for awhile, remember?

Belize

* * *

><p>Dear Belize,<p>

History is an important subject to learn. If Spain is going to tell you something about the past, you should listen – for when you become stronger. Learn from_ our_ mistakes. If I'd had anyone to guide me through being a nation...

'Abuela Maya'? That... doesn't really ring a bell. Odd. I remember everything from the past.

Y-you did? God, why am I being so forgetful?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The reason Iggy doesn't remember the Mayan Empire is because England really wasn't _too_ interested in exploring back then. I think. If I'm wrong, shoot me with cannon, because my History final exam is on Wednesday. **


	33. Ely 3

Dear England,

I thank you kindly for your offer sir! I am quite full now, thank you! -^^-

That statement hurts a little. We've never had royalty in the US and just  
>the fact that we're such a young nation with little history is why we<br>don't have real castles. I'm thinking I was born in the wrong place at the  
>wrong time, though. I'm more of a magic-fantasy person than I am a<br>politician. I hate politics… Love freedom, but hate that stuff.

Yes, you certainly were very powerful back then! Not that you still aren't,  
>but I guess things are evening out. Can't own everything, right? =D<p>

Ah the world. *sigh* I don't really know what to think about the world.  
>Growing up makes things look darker for some reason. Have any advice on how to<br>grow old without being a sourpuss? … Umm… *mumbles something about asking  
>the wrong person*…<p>

Oh I would love to live in your home, sir! But I doubt my family would. Not  
>all of them can speak English or understand your humor and culture. I am<br>Hispanic. ^_^ (I wonder if any hint of that showed in my other letters.) I  
>actually haven't known English all my life. I learned 10 years ago and it<br>was hard to get by. Oh well. I'm in love with language arts! I'm trying to  
>learn Fren- err… I mean. Japanese! It's really fun.<p>

Yeah… I know. It really isn't the happiest place on earth. You have opened  
>my eyes. *_* As excited as I am to know that real magical creatures live on<br>your land, I doubt I would be able to see them. This saddens me. T_T

Like I said. I think I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I love  
>America but… I don't know.<p>

Sincerely, Ely

* * *

><p>Dear Ely,<p>

Aw. Well... -is holding tray of deliciously burnt, blackened scones- I'll give these to Tink, I guess.

America has plenty of history, just not any monarchs in it. People are attracted to royalty, I guess. You sound like you could have been_ born_ here! Are you absolutely positive you _aren't _English? If you really aren't, you deserve to be an honorary British citizen. C-can you see fairies and leprechauns as well?

-mumbles something about the Revolutionary War- S'pose not.

We've been getting an awful lot of immigrants lately. Not that many Hispanic, though, I think. But we do have our share of Spanish-speakers. No, I couldn't tell. Your English is impeccable. It makes me proud someone loves English culture that much.

I may hate France, but I can't deny his language is also commonly spoken 8 mine'sbetter 8 Good for you for learning other languages.

...oh, so you _can't_ see them? -deflates- Oh...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yup, I'm England in America's letters XD I love Iggy too, but my favorite character is Norgie -huggles- I'm a Norway freak. Sadly, writing as him would be weird because he's not really in the anime/manga much. So instead I'll be England and/or Prussia, who are also amazing and more common. **


	34. Valencia 3

England,

He has to get over it. I mean, you are only part of an island, aren't you?  
>Spain is bigger than you:3<p>

France beaches? Are you sure~~? If I went to France I wouldn't dare to take my  
>shirt off (well, wearing a swimsuit, of course!). And I didn't mean that. I'm<br>just saying that I DO sell those creams and they SHOULD use them. I don't mind  
>your people looking like crabs. It's funny. We make a lot of fun of them,<br>after all :D Barcelona is the only one who banned walking shirtless in her  
>streets (seriously, I don't understand her). I'd never do that, you know...<p>

Ooops... I shouldn't have written that :$

There are some posts in spanish... It's something xD

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

BUT MY EMPIRE WAS BIGGER SO HA.

-clears throat- Moving along. I can't think of another country where people go for beaches. In Europe, at least. Hawaii I also fairly popular. Yes, removing clothing in France's place isn't too smart. But if he attempts to sexually molest anyone British, he knows he'll pay for it_ dearly._ Keeping enemies at bay using intimidation. Useful trick. Hmm, well, I can't really force them to wear them, just like I can't force any of the tourists at my place from bothering the Queen's Guards. Is it really _that _amusing to try to get them to change their facial expressions? Honestly.

I... can see her logic there. She doesn't live too far from France. A perfect law, really.

But Spanish still isn't English.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah, I see~**


	35. British Columbia 1

Uncle Iggy,

Hey! It's British Columbia. You know, your supposed 'favorite' of Matthew's  
>kids? What's up?<p>

Life over on the Pacific is fine. I've been hanging out with Uncle Al a lot. I  
>think I'm starting to talk like him, which is really freaking weird, but<br>whatevs.

When are you going to come over and make me dinner again. Apparently,  
>according to Uncle Al, your food isn't even edible, but I like it~ Just<br>promise not to bring any dresses when you come over this time. I LIKE dressing  
>in jeans and sweatshirts and I always feel downright stupid in those<br>girly-girl outfits you force me to wear.

Also, if the package that came with this smells fishy, don't even worry about  
>it. It's smoked salmon. I'm sure it'd go great with your hoity toity tea time!<p>

Lots of love,

B.C AKA. Lyra.

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

Hello, love! I haven't had one of... er, what was his name? C-Canada? Yes, Canada. I haven';t had one of his children write to me yet, so this is nice. Of course you're my favorite (but don't tell any of the other provinces that). You do have 'British' still in your name, after all.

Ah.. I slightly _noticed _that. You might want to stop your activities with him for a while. His speech mannerisms aren't exactly pleasing, if you know what I mean.

Don't listen to that git. _He _eats that grease from McDonald's, the hypocrite. I cook homemade, and it's an acquired taste for the finer people.

But you must act like a lady, dear. Dresses are more appealing than your other articles of clothing. They may be more comfortable, but you want a nice appearance.

I appreciate the food. I've sent some scones in return. I can't visit you right now; I'm having company soon. Then I have to go visit America, his capital, and some of his states. If I have time perhaps I'll go see you. In the meantime, you'll have to make do with eating scones without me there.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You're in America's letters too, aren't you~? :3**


	36. Madrid 4

Señor Inglaterra,

Moscow? Certainly. She's a very good-natured, friendly person most of the  
>time. Cities don't always behave like their nations, you know! I think the<br>only time I've ever seen her behave anything like how she described her father  
>was during the Cold War towards Washington, DC, and even then, no one could<br>blame her for being furious like she was. She has a lot of... I believe odium  
>is the word I'm looking for?<p>

He saved me! I had to take him in. It just wouldn't feel right if I didn't  
>repay him for what he did. I'm not sure. He's got some really quirky traits<br>that just make him seem like he's not average, but he ages like a normal dog.  
>I'm going to keep an eye on that now.<p>

Next time I talk to him, I'll ask. He's a bit busy with something right now.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

I find that hard to believe. Russia's childishly cruel. I guess my old distrust of him is still present. Ah, you used a more advanced word for 'hatred'! I appreciate you knowing my language so well. And the Cold War was fairly pointless. America's always looking for a reason to fight and/or frighten others.

..._he_ saved_ you_? How, pray tell?

Mmm, alright.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I read odium as 'opium' first xD And I was reminded of the Opium Wars. Ahaha.**


	37. Belize 6

Hola Papi~

L-lo siento! But that day I had stayed up 3 days straight and I was just about  
>to crash! And besides, no one really tries to bother me... a lot of people<br>don't even know I exist.

The Mayan Empire. She disappeared a long time ago and I was taken under the  
>care of other indigeonous tribes until Papi Spain found me, then you took me<br>from Papi Sapin and then... yeah...

It's okay! I lived there until the 1960's when you gave me the ability to  
>govern myself.<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Dear Belize,<p>

Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to come off as rude or reprimanding. It seems I can't shake that authoritative quality off me -humorless laugh-

I remember slightly now. But it's odd I don't recall more. I'm an old man, ahaha.

_Tha_t I do remember, of course... I remember all my former colonies.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, I know it collapsed forever ago, but I thought it was because the Spanish came with grabby hands yelling 'GIMME! GIMME! LAAAAND!'. Am I getting confused with the Aztecs or am I making up my own history? XD And I read an American History book yesterday, bahaha epic fail in my part. I'm... awesome? ;-; -tears of joy at compliment-**


	38. Romano 1

To Britain:

Trying to strength international relationships as well. Che... so am I. It's  
>so fucking stupid, I don't want to write these stupid letters, dammit.<p>

So. Tea-bastard. How's your life going. Since apparently, I have to care. And  
>- shit. Hang on, that stupid fucking potato is here again looking for my<br>brother... let me get rid of him...

Sincerely,

South Italy

P.S. 'Course... I kind of feel for you besides you have to deal with THAT  
>idiot, and we all know who the hell I'm talking about. Yeah. I'm leaving now.<p>

* * *

><p>Romano,<p>

I certainly wasn't expecting letters from_ you_, of all people. I won't lie and say 'pleased to write to you'. Instead, I'll be formal.

-scoff- Fine, _thanks_. Is the Mafia still a problem there? Because, likewise, it's 'an important' matter to discuss'. Like there aren't bigger problems. Germany's economy is the most prosperous out of everyone in Europe; perhaps you should listen to him for a change, hmm?

England

P.S. I live an ocean away from him, at the least. Germany isn't a bad person, though. While America is... _America_, for lack of better words. Oh, and would you prefer to be called South Italy, Romano, or Lovino? Again, not my preoccupation, but my boss'.


	39. Serbia 3

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

If I recall correctly, you've had problem children in the past. Kosovo is  
>insisting that he's his own country and he's not. Kosovo is and forever will<br>be mine. We weren't at the summit last week because of Kosovo. Any ideas as to  
>how to get him back?<p>

The UN is good, though. I don't have to put up with seeing Kosovo. I'll leave  
>him alone for a little bit, though. Mladić's capture is a big deal.<p>

Ordinarily, I would invite you Belgrade, though the city is in a state of  
>tension over whether or not Mladić is well enough to go to trial in the<br>Netherlands.

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

I thought America would be mine forever, too. Look where that ended up. Same for all my other former colonies. I'd... rather not share my personal opinion, as disputes could happen. You shouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way, either. I could result in greater losses.

We'll be careful to sit him far from you next time. Uh, yes, focus on Mladić for now. Kosovo will be taken care of.

Traveling to Serbia for any foreigner, I think, would be a bad idea. For the moment, at least.

England


	40. Valencia 4

England:

Bigger, maybe. but, it doesn't make it better U.u

If France tries to molest a Spaniard... then, said Spaniard will be worse than  
>him. Mmmm... France... *drools*<p>

BTW, do you still use your magic? Just curious. Dad says it doesn't work, but  
>I DO believe in magic. I'd like to see a magician sometime. It would be great<p>

(If Spain asks, I didn't write that, eh?)

Well, at least someone understands her.

But Spanish is easier than English ;D

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Nininini... keep repeating that to yourself, but I know better -face darkens-

-snapped out of evil trance- YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO THAT _FROG_? Valencia, are you_ aware_ he's a lecherous pervert? Not to mention I'm fairly certain that he'd be open to bestiality. Necrophilia. Hell, pedophilia! Stay clear out of his way!

-sputters- My magic is p-perfectly fine! Magic is_ real_. Those who refuse to believe in it are scared of it. I'm not a magician. Those are the words used for people who create illusions for entertainment. I'm a practitioner of the dark arts. Magic which _isn't_ childish and fun. Serious spells.

(It never happened. Gentleman's word.)

Depends on where you're from, love. I created the English language, pretty much; naturally; it's easier for me to express myself in my own tongue.

England


	41. British Columbia 2

Uncle Iggy,

That better have been a slip of the tongue and not you forgetting my dear old  
>dad, because I might just have to tell on you and get you in trooouble. Even<br>though I hate him almost as much as you, I'm sure Papa France would be quite  
>unhappy that you forgot about his little Matthieu again~<p>

Yeeeah. But Dad's always so busy with the other provinces, and the Rockies  
>kind of cut me off from everybody else, so Uncle Al's the only person I have<br>to chill with anymore. It's either hang with him, or sit alone on my couch and  
>play video games, and that suuucks. 'Sides, he pays when we go on McDicks<br>trips, and he usually brings junk food and horror movies whenever he comes  
>over, so I'm all good with it.<p>

Hey, hey, hey. No knocking on McDonalds. It's not horrible, Uncle Iggy. I know  
>for a fact you've never tried it, so let Uncle Al be. Yeah, he takes his<br>obsession for it to an extreme, but it's not as if we can tell him what to  
>eat, y'know? He's a big boy now.<p>

... Jeans and sweaters work fine, Uncle Iggy. I've never worn a dress other  
>than when you've guilted me into one. Besides, when Dad decides to bring me<br>along to a World Meeting, I have a suit I can wear.

And not a word about a girl wearing a suit, Uncle Iggy. It's the 21st century,  
>and if you start lecturing me about women's roles in society, I swear to GOD,<br>I will make YOU wear a dress.

You know, sometimes you totally rock. Thanks for the scones. I'll make them  
>last until you can get your absolutely invincibly british gentlemanly butt<br>down here for some quality time. But you gotta get down here soon. Otherwise  
>Uncle Al might completely corrupt my mind and turn me into one of his states!<br>Oooh!

... Imagine I'm waving my hands at you in a teasing gesture. Kiiinda hard for  
>you to see it when I'm doing it all the way over here.<p>

Looooove,

Lyra

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

Right, of course! I wouldn't forget Canada. I couldn't care less if old frog face gets mad at me. I've hated him for as long as I can remember; what difference does it make? Hmph.

...that's horrible. America as your _only_ friend choice? You should visit _me_, then. I can teach you more lady manners, as well. You dislike videogames? -sigh of relief- So you aren't _exactly_ like America, then. Horror movies? That git can't sit through the first 10 bloody minutes without panicking! What is he doing making you watch them? That is no way for a lady as yourself to grow up as. You_ really_ need to come to the UK. Before America rots your brain.

_For good reasons_. Why would I eat such grime that clearly came from the back of a greasy old whale? Fast food is unhealthy and disgusting. He needs to set a better example to others, that's what!

-twitch- A s-s-suit? No, Lyra, you need to act like a proper young _lady_! At home, you can dress in whatever you want, but you do have a duty to represent your people well. Trousers- I mean,_ pants_, are not exactly proper; that's too casual. Just because it's the 21st century does not mean we can all dress like slobs. Have some feminine etiquette.

I can't visit you. Belize is coming, then I have to visit around America, then _maybe _you. Busy schedule.

YOU WILL NOT BECOME A YANK STATE.

Wherever is Canada to discipline you? He's like a ghost, and those aren't even real.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alright~ :D**


	42. Belize 7

Hola Papi~

It's okay...

You're not old Papi! You just know a lot!

Yay~ I'm remembered~

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

I won't deny that I know a lot, but I've existed for such a long time. I forget things occasionally. You'll be in my position one day, too.

It's a pride thing. If I didn't remember any of my former colonies, that would simply be disrespectful. You're all part of history, especially mine.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well... it was some Indian tribe. Shame, I'm descended from Spanish conquistadors. Why my history no better? T-T Derp, these compliments make me grin like America haha.**


	43. Madrid 5

Señor Inglaterra,

Hmm... Moscow has a great explanation as to why, but I can't remember what she  
>said exactly. Of course! I love learning new languages. English was one of the<br>first ones I took the time to learn, and I enjoyed doing so. It was very  
>pointless, and that was why she was so irate.<p>

Ah, si. I don't even understand why he saved me. I was walking home one day a  
>few years ago, and one of the shortcuts I used was an old alley. A group of<br>people surrounded me, pulled guns on me for some reason or another, and  
>threatened me. I didn't have anything to use to defend myself, and I'm<br>assuming Enrique lead a pack of strays at the time, because suddenly a whole  
>group of dogs attacked the people. At first I thought they were going to<br>attack me as well, but they didn't. One of the people shot Enrique and then  
>they fled the scene with the strays following them. I took Enrique home, took<br>care of him, and he didn't leave even when I let him walk with me without a  
>leash. I only wonder what happened to the strays.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

I really shouldn't be one to judge others. I just hope Russia doesn't come after me. There's enough global trouble as is. English is a great language to learn. It's widely spoken, so you can talk to many and many can talk to you. By being alive so long, I've found _quite_ a few wars are pointless, really.

That's an interesting story. Were these people anything to do with Spain's old dictatorship? I know this doesn't make things much better, Madrid, but you actually can't die. Even if they'd shot you, you would have lived. Nations don't truly ever die. Take Prussia, for example. We dissolutioned him in 1947, but he's still alive, preserved by history books and memories. You don't really die unless people forget about you.

You're also very kind to have taken him in. The strays, unfortunately, probably died. That's life for you.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Moscow? Schieße, I'm screwed.**


	44. Hungary 7

Arthur,

My..head...kills...

I am nothing like that damned Prussian! U-Unified country? HELL *NO. THATS IM  
>GONNA CROSS THAT DAMN CHANNEL AND STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH!-<p>

Ooowww...ow ow ow..

Excuse me? A drunk woman is better than a shut-in British man of 26. Not Your  
>"sense" of decency no, I have my own.<p>

I wish you not to bring him up anymore because he infuriates me. Dumbass.

It's all gone, so I doubt that.

YES YOU DID. It's only strictly political because you're so far in the closet  
>you're seeing unicorn men. I'm not pervers- okay, maybe I am, but in this<br>situation between you and Alfred I'm just being realistic to what I see.

W-Who said that?...A-Actually, no...I haven't. Not that I remember...In fact I  
>can't even remember correctly if I've do-<p>

Ending that thought there.

Don't drink to wallow in self-pity? That's the ONLY reason you drink. Come get  
>drunk with me tomorrow so at least you can have fun while being drunk for<br>once.

It didn't mean driving. I ment running.

Acctually I must have done that, I think I passed out, and I'm currently  
>trying to hitch hike. Thing is, I can't find my shorts...<p>

Elizaveta

P.S.- Hehee~ Sent you a photo. Guess who that is in that skimpy little  
>black...apron skort thing?<p>

* * *

><p>Elizaveta,<p>

You're going to get your drunk self killed before you strangle me. Stay home, Hungary.

I'm not 26... -grumble- In human appearance anyway; internally, _much _older than what I look like. As are you. MY sense of decency tells me to _not _let myself be groped by Prussia.

As does you assuming I'm in l-l...er, that I have some sort of_ feelings _for America. How contemptible.

I WON'T HAVE YOU DEGRADE _ME_ LIKE THAT, HUNGARY! -burning red-

SWITCHING. THE. _SUBJECT. _

Get to Austria's house. _Now_. Even if you really hate him.I'd go to your place and get you back to the normal Elizaveta I know, but you're too far.

I'll drop off any mentions of Prussia for now, but only if you do the same for that Billy no-mates git that is America.

England

P.S. I am burning that. D'you hear? BURNING IT.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ja really~ I think she's like that, personally xD **


	45. Valencia 5

England

NOOO! I'm not atracted to him! I just say that if you ask my people "Who would  
>you go out with?", they'd answer "with a Frenchman, of course". I don't think<br>he's a pervert. Well, maybe. But he doesn't cheat on anybody! And he's very  
>handsome.<p>

So... your magic is real. Interesting...

(Thanks hahahxd)

Well, you were obviously drunk when you created it! I JUST can't learn it!  
>HUMP!<p>

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

_Good_. But still, anyone from his nation is absolutely _beastly_. They're probably all Francis clones running amok with that wanton laugh of his. Doesn't cheat on anybody? ...I'm not going to go into details of all the organisms France has had a hump with. However, be assured that there are no limits to how many people France can be with at once. It's mind-scarring.

A-all magic is real!

English is a beautiful language. _French_ is the one that was invented by a drunk. You're speaking it now, aren't you? But if it pleases you, I can write to you in Spanish. I... know it.

England


	46. Washington DC 5

Iggy,

Er sorry for the late respond, I was having a pool party with Mexico.

it's cuz it's (he? she?) so CUTE~!

Oh...oh my. Really now, England? And how does that make you feel?

* * *

><p>Aleckis,<p>

America lets you socialise with Mexico? Based on how picky he can be about Mexicans and the current border issue, I would have thought he'd ban you from doing anything with Mexico.

Flying Mint Bunny is a he. He looks rather pleased you called him cute.

-turns red- Let's promptly ignore what I said while under the influence.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Derp, I forgot to say this. I learned English with the American spellings, so writing as England is a slight challenge. If a British spelling isn't there, I missed it xP I'm trying to think British though. Hopefully I'll improve. However, I do have a good reason as to why I/England screws up, but I won't reveal it for now~**


	47. Moscow 1

Dear Mister Angliya,

Privyet, sir! How are you? My friend Madrid asked me to write you. She said  
>that you don't trust Russia. In all honesty, I don't trust Father, either.<br>He's so very childish, and many of my siblings are, too.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the mother and they are my children. I blame General  
>Winter. I met him when I was... hm, how would my age translate, were I a<br>normal human when I met him? Sixteen? Perhaps seventeen, even? I was more  
>mature than Father and my siblings were, and more prepared to deal with his<br>personality. They met the general when they were somewhere between the ages  
>three and twelve.<p>

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Ah, er. Didn't expect a letter from you. I don't converse with Russia much even to this day. You certainly seem more mature than him.

I can't imagine what life with Russia would be like, much less caring for him, though he's the father. Er, I really don't know what else to say. I don't know much about you or your family. Why do I have the feeling Russia is watching me as I write this...?

England


	48. Belize 8

Hola Papi~

But you don't look old! And I'm not sure about being in your position...  
>sometimes it seems like Guatemala won't stop treating me like her hermanito.<p>

Oh, okay then! I'm still glad I'm remembered.

Belize

* * *

><p>Dear Belize,<p>

Be glad someone is willing to nurture you that much. I grew up all alone. My colonies were my only 'family, really, because the ones who are really related to me by blood have never liked me much. One day Belize, you'll have been a country for as long as I have and you'll see -chuckles- But I don't blame you if it's hard to grasp the future. I was that way when I was young, too. Only worried with fighting whoever was near me (er, France) and conquering others.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yep, but that's really lame. I'm only Mexican, Spanish, and Portuguese =D= What a marvelous heritage, no? YOU'RE PRUSSIAN? ASFAFSAFASFDSDSASDFDSDF I'm jeaaaaaaloussss ;_; **


	49. Serbia 4

England:

I hope you don't mind me referring to you in the informal. Writing out your  
>full title becomes a bit wearisome.<p>

I don't hold anything against you for recognizing Kosovo. I'm not holding  
>anything against any of the countries who recognize Kosovo. You've had plenty<br>of colonies break away, I suppose that it's my turn now. Russia's on my side  
>like usual. China's willing to back me up, too.<p>

I'm really trying hard to get into the EU and if convicting Mladic is going to  
>boost my chances, I will convict him. People aren't going to be happy about<br>it, but when are people happy with everything we do? Mladic killed around  
>eight thousand Bosnian Muslims and has been on the run for sixteen years.<br>Perhaps he's a hero to some people, but right now, he's a criminal and a  
>threat to my chance of getting into the EU. At the very least, send him to the<br>Hague.

Is Sealand still badgering you about becoming a nation? Being a nation isn't  
>as glamorous as it seems.<p>

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

I don't mind. Technically, I'm simply England; the UK is a nation of nations, but I being the most well-known, represent us as a whole.

Russia and China, I'm not too surprised. But anyway, don't get too attached to Kosovo. Then a war for independence will be fought and lives lost over a cause that can be settled civilly is pointless.

He's a criminal; he has to pay for his actions. Though what the people want is how a government should be run, sometimes, what we thinks is the best course of action. Especially with someone as dangerous as Mladić. Convicting him is righteous. Or will the lives of those he killed not be avenged?

Ah, he's been more busy with videogames lately. But he still wants to be one -sigh- I know it is, but since when has a child ever listened to an adult?

England


	50. British Columbia 3

Uncle Iggy,

Good.. Cause I totally know how easy Dad can be to forget, but he really does  
>deserve to be remembered, y'know? He's a good guy. And agreed about the frog.<br>Completely agreed.

Hah. He's not my ONLY choice, really. Just the most fun out of the few people  
>near me. Besides, I like Uncle Al. He's cool. And I know all my manners, Uncle<br>Iggy. I just don't always use 'em. It really depends on the videogame... You  
>won't catch me playing a first person shooter, but a good, long fantasy RPG<br>with a deep plot? I'll sit through one of those, no problem~ To be honest, I  
>think Uncle Al comes over to my house to watch horror movies is because he<br>knows Imm not afraid of them, so I can protect him from the big bad ghosties  
>while he hides in my lap... What a wuss that man is.<p>

Okay. It may be that McDicks is greasy, genetically modified, pre-cooked beef  
>that could probably give you cancer, but it's still good on occasion. Trust<br>me, I could never eat it like Uncle Al does. Not in a million years. I like  
>your cooking better anyway~<p>

Whether it's trousers or a skirt, it's still formal. Besides... Uncle Al says  
>I look quite dashing in my suit. And Dad doesn't mind it either.<p>

But now that you've pushed the topic, I'm going to find one way or another to  
>get YOU into a dress, Uncle Iggy! Ha!<p>

I have plenty feminine etiquette... I am YOUR niece after all. Being the  
>province closest related to you, I HAVE to.<p>

Fine. Maybe I'll show up at your place sometime~ In the meantime, I'll have to  
>be content with sending you letters. D: Oh. And Dad looked positively<br>horrified when he saw me eating one of your scones... Why... is that, exactly?  
>I was confused...<p>

AHAHAHA. I TOUCHED A NERVE. Don't worry, Iggy. I like being a province better  
>than a state!<p>

Um... I don't know. He mostly lets me get away with everything... He was here  
>recently though. I know because there's more pancakes in the fridge...<p>

Love,

Lyra

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

He is. I think the reason why people forget about your father is that he doesn't throw himself into quarrels and disputes; he keeps to himself, as a nation should. But when you live surrounded by many idiots... -glances around at some European nations- ...it's hard to avoid war. Unfortunately, America is to the south, but it's only one git, at least. Yet I think America could be at least worth 5 Frances. _Maybe_.

America _fun_? I-I can be fun, too! Um, like Buckingham Palace is fun. Yes.

...you really need to come. To a_ cultured _place.

I didn't really follow you on the videogame thing. Aren't they all the same? In my opinion, books and literature are much better than hat graphics like the fancy ones we have today can provide. Read more. Don't fall behind academically like America is. That's about the_ only _reason America bothers to invite anyone over to watch horror movies.

McDonald's is the reason America could die prematurely, and us nations _really can't even die_. How many diseases does he have now, I bet? Diabetes, high blood pressure. Hell, probably cancer, like you stated. Those greasy blobs they dare call food are an insult to cuisine. Never worth eating._ Of course _you like my food. You have my sharp, refined taste buds.

It's no way for a lady to dress! -sigh- But I have no control over you. Listen to your parents (only on that subject). But we all know I'm much more wiser than them.

You certainly do, but you could behave yourself more as a young lady should and not a wild, reckless boy.

He just doesn't appreciate finer food like mine. He's jealous, ahaha -shifty eyes- Throw some maple syrup to distract him from your meal. Which should be enjoyed alone. So others can't mock you. Though obviously you have a great taste, it's _them _that have it wrong.

Good. If your father allows any of you to become part of America, I swear I'll take control of America again. America's arrogance is already off the roof. Should he get bigger, he'd annoy me to death. Though maybe he would get fatter, which would be amusing. Hmm...

He tends to disappear. Odd.

England


	51. Madrid 6

Señor Inglaterra,

I hope so, too. That's why I decided to learn English so quickly. Isn't that  
>the truth?<p>

I've no idea who they were. I know I can't die. However, the number of guns I  
>had aimed at me was rather high. Had they fired at a normal human, there'd be<br>no doubt that the victim would have died. The trouble it would cause - had  
>they fired at me and realized I wasn't human - would be devastating to not<br>only me, but others, as well. In the worst case scenario, word would get out  
>that I personified Madrid, and people would realize that other cities and<br>nations were embodied, as well. A lot could go wrong as a result.

I hope that's not the case, but I understand that it's probably what happened  
>to them.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

When you've been alive for centuries, you start to uncover much hidden truth.

True, but that wouldn't be the only time a nation has been threatened. Others have found out about us before. The governments keep them... quiet. It's a dirty business, but it's to keep us from being public knowledge. Don't fret about what _happened_. Past tense. Worry about your _current _state, present tense. Since you are the capital, and Spain is in financial trouble, stay safe, Madrid.

Getting your hopes up is usually for nothing. Another lesson I've learned.

England


	52. Valencia 6

England

Am I speaking French? When? I know it, of course, but I usually speak Spanish,  
>or valenciano.<p>

¡Sí! ¡Sí! Escribe algo en español, Inglaterra.

How come that you know it?

Love

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Your native language, I meant. It's an awful lot like France's. I'm starting to wonder if he ever invaded your region. Which would not be good.

Very well. Er.

Hablo Español debido a que, como país, tienes que aprender mas idiomas, yo pienso. Es una responsabilidad. Si no, es un poco hipócrita. Claro, prefiero mi propio idioma, y no háblo otros idiomas tan bien (pero creo que los escribo satisfactoriamente), pero si al menos sábes un poco de otros idiomas comunes, entonces eso es bueno.

Inglaterra

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Translation: I speak Spanish because, as a country, you have to learn more languages, I think. It's a responsibility. If you don't, it's a bit hypocritical. Of course, I prefer my own language, and I don't speak others as well (but I think I write them satisfactorily enough), but at least if you know a bit of other common languages, then that's good.**

**Also, sorry if I missed an accent mark. I barely speak Spanish anymore D:**


	53. Hungary 8

Arthur,

I'd stay home, but I'm not home. Der.

Be happy I called you only 26. I could have easily cracked an 'old British  
>Fart' joke. I was going off appearance wise, I'm suprised you don't look<br>older.

I wouldn't let that happen, silly man. He would know better than to try it,  
>because I'd bash his damn head in.<p>

It may seem that way, but it isn't. only thing proven by al lthese asummptions  
>is that you want to fuck Alfred.<p>

Yah. I went the vulgar route. So?

Aww, someone angry? Seems like I can push your buttons~ So fun.

If you wish to switch it then. Like switching off the lights when America is  
>in your-<p>

Hehee~

Acctually, he was the one who picked me up on the Autobahn. I'm in the back  
>seat of his car right now.<p>

Aww, you sound like you don't mind the normal me? I'm flattered.

...Billy no-mates git? ..*trying not to laugh*

Elizaveta

P.S.- I have coppiessss~ If makes you feel better, I think it's sexy!...and  
>hilarious. Pffhahaha.<p>

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

Well, wherever you are then.

Oh, belt up! It's taking a lot of my might to not say anything ruder, because you _are_ a woman and it is my duty to be polite to you, but you make it difficult. Are you even a woman? You act more like a man. Didn't you use to think you were a man, anyway? Hmph. I thought so!

I'm going to ignore anything you write that I find offensive. Namely, everything after this point.

BLAST IT ALL. Can't you exit your sick way of thinking? Honestly! You and France would be very close. Or you and Prussia. Which you have, because I _very much remember_ that Christmas party Italy had. And where it led for the two of you. Scarring poor Sealand like that, and I don't even like Sealand!

Bugger, I need a drink...

England

P.S. I REALLY need a drink...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think she_ can_ be proper, but that's not how she really is. She's the 'manliest character in the manga'. That's a quote from somewhere... the manga itself, I think? xD**


	54. Belize 9

Hola Papi...

...Papi, not to sound rude, but you just acted a bit mushy there.

But that's okay! Uncle Scotland and Uncle Wales have never seemed like the  
>nurturing type. And I am glad that Guatemala's willing to take care of me. She<br>is really nice at times.

I'm gonna go make some scones now,

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

I'm not feeling very much like myself lately. Half of what I say is going to come back to haunt me, I just know it. Some of it already has.

I think I'm in need of a drink too. If I _really_ want to drink I don't think straight...

Those old sods don't even deserve to be in my 'family' or my 'brothers'. They can get lost, the bastards. It's a damn shame they're my neighbors. I only wish the island could erode already and separate us.

You do that,

Pissed!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry Belize ): England's getting bothered by all these USUK assumptions. Which he'll deny... _for now_. Muahahaha.**

**Bee-tee-dubs, that is such an amazing lineage and idea for a shirt *-***


	55. Moscow 2

Dear Mister Angliya,

I cannot say I blame you. Thank you.

He can be a good father, I will admit, and the only time one should truly be  
>afraid of him is when he carries that water pipe with him. My family is a<br>strange one, and you're lucky you've not met all of us. I pray that you don't  
>have an encounter with more of my relatives than you already have to.<p>

How would Father manage that? He's been with Saint Petersburg and myself for  
>the past week or so, visiting.<p>

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

With that coat of his, I really don't know what he has there half the time. I've sen his _heart_ fall out. He's shown up from nowhere to interrupt my spells. He's admitted he has a grudge against me. You can see why I'm wary of him.

I try to avoid Asia, honestly. I don't get along with most nations there.

L-like I said, I don't know. Dear God, if he's here, then...

England


	56. Slovenia 1

Mister Anglija,

Please inform Her Majesty of my boss's thanks. The compliments we recieved  
>were very flattering! Kakorkoli že, I've been in a slump. Mostly because of<br>Croatia's constant pestering and our arguments. I suppose you can relate to  
>these arguments, with such annoying people. You seem like a man who knows his<br>drinks, so I'll ask you this: what drink can you recommend for me? I need a  
>break from all this work!<p>

Počakajte! I'm a small woman, though, so nothing too heavy. I can't be too  
>sick in the morning.<p>

Hvala,

Slovenia

* * *

><p>Slovenia,<p>

I shall.

You and the Balkans seem to be bickering a bit lately. The whole world, really, seems to be fighting. -sigh- I need a drink...

Aaah, I apologise. I'm feeling rather tired right now. Yes, unfortunately, I know my share of gits. Tea is delicious and quite obviously the best drink. But if you want something alcoholic, I'd go with rum.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AM: Wow, thanks so much for all the letters, guys~ I didn't expect to get that many! This'll be my last letter for today. Because I have to go study and shit for finals tomorrow. Ugh.**

**I'll continue replying to your other letters tomorrow~**


	57. Romano 2

Britain... fine. Arthur,

Yeah, well, get used to it, Brit. And great, because I didn't want to deal with your fucking sarcasm. It gets annoying after a while.

Look, dammit, it was just a QUESTION. Don't get your damn Union Jack panties all up in a knot, you jackass. And NO, they're not a problem... a major problem... yeah. Okay, so the Mafia's been driving me up the nearest fucking wall. Because SOMEONE had to introduce the mafia to cocaine selling. Joy.

I don't CARE. That potato-sucker can go crawl into a box of tomatoes and suffocate for all I fucking care. Stupid, manipulative bastard... trying to fuck with my idiot brother's head. Stupid bastard. And don't sit there in your little British throne with your damned condescending tones, dickhead!

P.S. An ocean away is probably not far enough regardless. Makes me feel bad for Canada, who has to be related to that idiot. Che... call me whatever you want. Lovino's fine, if that's fine with you. Kay. Yeah.

Sincerely,

Lovino

* * *

><p>Lovino,<p>

I'm nearly immune to people's attitudes like yours. Sarcasm? But I speak _complete truth_. Oh, because _your_ incredibly cheery disposition is such a joy to others!

And mine was just an_ answer_. No need for you to get so cheeky. Oh, belt up and get over yourself. I'm not the cause of the world's trouble. Go snog Spain or something, won't you?

Well _excuse_ me for trying to be helpful. Wanker. I'm older than you; show some respect. I know you've got some in there _somewhere_. Beneath all the sunshine that makes your sunny self up.

England

P.S. I said 'at the least'. But you do have to pity poor Ca-what's-his-face... Canada? Yeah, him. Lovino it is, then.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: GOD I LOVE SARCASTIC ENGLAND. That's so me. Not hard at all xD**


	58. Madrid 7

Señor Inglaterra,

That is what makes it worth the journey. Even when aforementioned truth is hard to accept, there is always something else to uncover, be it for good or for nought, no matter how long one has been alive. That's something I've learned.

I felt the economic problems already, and managed to get through them myself. When economy spirals, I'm bound to be hit again, but until that happens, I'm more concerned for those around me, especially Papa España.

Even then, hope is a good thing to have. If it was for nothing, shrug off the disappointment, walk with pride, and smile for those less fortunate than yourself so that they can forget their own troubles, if only for a little while.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Don't get so sappy. You're like a maple tree oozing syrup.

Pissed!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Looks like England got ticked at Romano and is venting on the others D: Sorry Madrid**


	59. Belize 10

Hola Papi~

Oh, really?

...drinking? you do that Papi if it makes you feel better...

Well, I don't really like Uncle Wales much...

I sent some scones with this letter :D

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Consequence of not thinking before you speak.

A-ah, yeah. Sort of. Um.

No one likes that twit. With his sheep and '_magic_'. Mine's better -mumbles-

Th-thanks. I needed something non-alcoholic to get my mind off... things. Really, thanks.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yup, I noted~ I'll reply shortly And aaw, just me or does England get a bit mushy when talking to former colonies? **


	60. Hungary 9

Arthur,

At Austria's house.

That's degrading to me you know. Feeling obliged to be polite to me? You can say it's because your a gentlman, but really, I like it when men treat me like everyone else.

HEY! LEAST I DIDN'T PRACTICALLY CUDDLE WITH FRANCE WHEN I THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END IN THE YEAR 1000! HA.

I'm just to much for you to handle, it's okay~

I could, but I really rather not-*there is scribbles and stuff here, like two people were fighting over the paper*

Roderich wants me to act civilized in his presense. I wanna bite his hand again.

Me and Francis generally get along, yes. Except when he tries to touch Lake Balaton. Prussia, and I have an...odd relationship. but you know that already didn't you?

...What Christmas party? I usually never remember how those parties end.

What? I'd never scar little Peter like that! He's started calling me Big Sister, you know?

Get one.

Elizaveta

P.S.- Heheee~

* * *

><p>Elizaveta,<p>

Good. Someone with class like him ought to get you sober again. And before you start taking what I say in the _wrong way_, I don't mean it like that.

Oh, boo-hoo. Us men in Britain do have prestige to live up to. Degrading, my arse. Were you France this letter would be covered with_ swears_.

Ugh -clears throat- Sorry. I'm... actually, I really don't even kn-

I WASN'T BLOODY CUDDLING WITH OLD FROG FACE! _HE_ jumped on top of _ME_, but I got him off! You, in turn, _let_ Prussia grope you!

...ignoring _that _little comment you said.

Hmph. _Someone_ else out there that acts civilly. If you wish to inflict pain upon someone, let it be France. Or Romano; he's pissing me off.

How you two can be _any_ form of ally, much less friend, baffles me. He's _France_, Hungary. An adjective descriptive enough. Drop the 'odd' from that sentence to simply get 'relationship', and then you'd be correct -smirk- We're_ all_ aware, love.

You. Prussia. Enough liquor to get sloshed ten times over. An empty bed. That enough of an explanation? Surely you remember something. Sealand asked me what those noises were. Of course I didn't tell him the truth, but he's bound to find out _some _day. He only calls you that because he doesn't know it was you and Prussia filling the night with those _lovely_ sounds.

Pissed!England

P.S. Just oooone sip of rum is _all_ I need. Where the bloody hell is it? Oh, _here_ it is... it's not _nearly_ enough to get me plastered...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Drunk!England in 3, 2...**


	61. Moscow 3

Dear Mister Angliya,

Oh, trust me, you'll know when he's got the pipe. Da, I see.

Part of Russia is in Europe, though. Kaliningrad. Watch Kaliningrad closely. No one here ever knows what he'll do. He's an absolute nut.

If he's there, I'm going to march there and drag him back here. By. The. Ear. He knows better than that.

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moses-cat,<p>

*hic* A pipe? Can I have that for a momen' so I can *hic* hit Captain Hook's head? He's makin' fun of meeee but I *hic* dun' know why!

He's just that *hic* bloody fat, isn't he? Takin' up aaall of *hic* the planet's space. Inconsiderate pri*hic*ck. Calvin-on-tad? Wussdat? -sways- Uuurgh.

Marching? That *hic* sounds nice... marching bands are so *hic* loud. There's one playin' riiight now, next to *hic* me. Can you teeell them to be shu-?

Unconscious!England


	62. Serbia 5

England

You know, I could always ask Russia to drop by Sealand. I don't see why you all are so terrified of him. He's a nice guy. In a sense, we're brothers. China's good, too. Yeah, if you need Russia to send Sealand running back to you, I think he'd be willing. He complains a bit about how lonely his house gets without everyone.

Serbia

* * *

><p>Sir Bia,<p>

Y-you're a sir? I *hic* didn't know there were sirs outside of *hic* my place. Are you maaagic as well~? Ahahaha~!

I dun' like Russia because he takes *hic* up too much space! He prob'bly wants to *hic* kill me but I dunwannadieeee! I have to *hic* find France and yell *hic* at him or somethin'. Maybe I can *hic* kill _hiiiim_.

Sealand isn't a *hic* bad kid. He can be thick-headed and *hic* bloody annoying, but then again that's also how A*hic*merica is and I dun' mind him. When Sealand is older, maybe *hic* he can be a c-country too.

Russia can't get *hic* lonely; doesn't he wank? Ahahaha~

Drunk!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alcohol. Not even once. 'Cause it'll fuck up your foreign relations. Sorry Serbia xD**


	63. Washington DC 6

Iggy,

Dad's actualy pretty lax with /Mexico/ herself.

Ah, daaw~ I wanna hug 'em. He is though. I mean, he so fawcking ADORABLE~! *loves*

Over the limit. Under arrest.

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>George Washington Columbus District City Whatever Place,<p>

Me*hic*co~? I hear they have great *hic* tequila there. Must. Have. More alcohol! *hic* D'you think I'd be a-allowed to go there and drink *hic* some for myself? Say, you have a looong name.

'Course you can *hic* hug 'em. They're right here, ahaha~! Captain *hic* Hook and Tink and Uni and the leprechauns. Why is everyone lookin' at me funny? WHAT THE BLOODY *hic* HELL ARE YOU STARING AT, SIR? I'll- -ink blot here as if someone abruptly stopped writing-

O-o-oww... my head... why is everyone so colourful and spinny-like~? But that particle *hic* bloke needs to get the nasty sneer off his *hic* face... Oooh! There's spots dancing on the ceiling, Uni! Wee~

Drunk!England


	64. Singapore 1

Dear England,

Hello! I am really glad you are accepting letters! How are you? I'm pretty happy, myself. There's just something bothering me. Everyone says I have a crush on you, but I don't! It's kind of embarrassing, to be honest. But, I won't let it get in the way of things! If there's one thing I know above all other things, it's the importance of hard work, determination, and organization! Still, I wish they would stop bothering me...

Moving on, do you think maybe you could visit me or I could visit you sometime? I have a pretty tight schedule at the moment, but as long as you give me a specific date and time in advance, I would be happy to get to see you!

Sincerely,

Yovani Chong

(Singapore)

P.S.

Just out of curiosity...

Are you currently in a relationship with anyone?

P.P.S.

That was an awkward question... you don't have to answer it if you don't want to.

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

S-sorry if my handwriting appears shaky. I'm nursing a horrid hangover... can't think straight. Ugh, I feel sick.

A c-crush? Um. Weeell. That'd be slightly awkward if true. Did I use to own you? God, I don't know. I'm being so forgetful as of late, and usually my former colonies/territories/whatever are the few I recall.

That's... er, fine that you don't have an affection towards me, I guess. I believe you. I have never heard of this rumour before so don't fret. Good for you, knowing what's important. Why can't other nations be like you?

Aaah. It seems I'm going to be visiting or am having a lot of visitors myself. I'll add you to the growing list. Though I'm sort of trying to stay out of Asia... Russia and China, you know? -nervous laugh- Ow...my head.

I-I'm... missed? Th-thanks.

England

P.S. N-no, I'm... not in a... r-r-. Er._ Relationship._


	65. An 'American' 3

England,

I m having problems with a really good friend of mine.. I left him a few years back because I thought I needed to be on my own. Now he won't talk to me. I try to apologize nut he's diner too drunk, ignores me, or we're in a meeting where we can't get any privicy. Do you know what to do?

~ the hero! 3

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

A-America?

This is you, r-right?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Seeee~ He's not that dense; just in denial~ Hungary's right, so listen to her, no matter what England heheh. **


	66. Ely 4

Dear England,

Aww! I… I… *guilt taking over* I'll have some more, please… *has Peptobismol behind her back*

Oh sir, I would love to say I am English, but apparently I'm not. I may have been in another life. Still, I'm very proud of my Hispanic roots. By the way! If you ever need help with your Spanish I will gladly tutor you! *squee!* And… Well.. Actually, I have a question. Fairies and leprechauns only live on your land, right? So maybe I don't see any because I haven't been to your place? *hopeful grin* And… Me? An honorary British citizen? THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Yay! I have won so many English department awards and the like. *blushes* Sorry if I'm bragging too much. I'm just such a huge fan! *takes deep breath* Sorry. I'm a little hyper right now… Too much soda, I guess. *sweatdrop*

Thank you sir. France hates Americans so I guess I should hate him too? He's kinda creepy and a pervert… And he eats snails… Yeah. It's not too hard to dislike the guy.

Well like I said, maybe I just can't see magical creatures because there aren't any here in California. Please don't be sad! T_T *hugs very closely* Umm.. uhhh… *starts humming "Absolutely Invincible British Gentlemen* You rock, England! =D

~Hyper!Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

R-really? I... don't think I've had anyone ever ask for seconds. Except for America, but.. ah, I'm rambling -is red-

*cough*I'mbetterthanSpain*cough* My Spanish is alright. As a nation, I think it's vital to know other's languages... Both for communication purposes and as respect. Besidess it's widely spoken. If I do ever need help, however, I'll keep you in mind as tutor.

Well, my friends travel with me wherever I go. I know Norway has trolls and fairies though, and Belize has duendes. So each nation has their own version of magical creatures. It escapes me why so few of us can see them. B-but so I don't annihilate your hopes, I've never seen anything remotely magic-related in America. He _insists_ there's aliens and ghosts haunting his place, but I doubt it. Those are silly. A-ah, you're welcome.

No, you aren't. Americans butcher my language so much. You give us foreigners hope towards your people, Ely. Congratulations. Boast all you want; you're certainly worthy of it.

Is there a reason to actually _like_ that frog?

-is hugged, turns red- Er... thanks...

Maybe one day America will realise there's such a thing as magic and fairies will go there?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I do Norway when convenient, I am for Denmark's letters (SQUEEEE DENNOR! 8'D) Prussia _is_ undeniably awesome. FACT.**


	67. British Columbia 4

Uncle Iggy,

Five Frances? Seriously? Which do YOU prefer? Chronic molester or fast food addict? I know you two have your own tough history, but you gotta cut the guy a break. He means well. Also, seriously. France isn't even allowed in my house after... THAT incident... Stupid froggy pervert.

Iggy, there is nothing I would love more than to come visit you and your home. I wanna see ALL the sights. You will give me a nice, long tour when I do get over there, right?

There are lots of different types of video games, Uncle Iggy. Fighting games, adventure games, shooting games... I like the longer adventure games. They've got better storylines and they're more immersive.

And I read plenty, Uncle Iggy. Don't worry. I just finished a trilogy by one of your authors, actually. Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Brilliant work. I cried at the end of the third book. I'm working on my Tom Robbins books now. I have aaaaall his novels.

Which is why I don't scarf it like Uncle Al does. But whatevs. Despite his many faults, Uncle Al's pretty cool. He agreed to do me a BIG favor, so he's in my good books!

Damn straight I have your sense of taste. Nobody'll ruin that. I also discovered today... Your scones plus my smoked salmon equals MOUTHGASM.

Much more wiser...? Oh, Iggy, Iggy, Iggy. You're ENGLAND. Why are YOU, of all people, murdering that beautiful thing called grammar?

Being a wild, reckless boy is fuuun. 'Sides. I have no feminine figure, so I look like a crossdressing boy when I wear dresses. No tits, Uncle Iggy. Sorry.

AHAHAHAHA. Shit, now I can't get the image of Uncle Al as a fatty out of my head! I feel like such an ass! Ahahaha! Oh, damn! My sides hurt!

I feel kind of bad for missing him when I'm his own DAUGHTER... Fffff...

Looove,

Lyra!

PS. I think I broke Uncle Al's brain!

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

I take that back. France is worse. I... I don't m-mind America. I don't _hate_ him; I just – argh, I'm getting mushy here... moving on.

When I have time, assuredly.

So basically, videogames are like books, but you don't have the pleasure of imagining everything yourself. No, thanks. I'd rather stimulate my mind by reading, which is basically a lost art now, it seems. Besides, too much television and you'll get fat (see America for proof).

Ah, that's good. If you're going to waste your life away in front of the telly, at least balance that with good old _literature_. Any British author is good, really. And you especially know it's well-written if it's powerful enough to make you cry, as in your case.

..._what_ favor?

Lyra, don't use such language! Saying 'it tasted excellent' is fine.

Damn... stupid America. This is what happens when you have to put up with him when he and his boss visit. My mistake. You don't want that happening to you. Next, I'll probably start seeing _aliens_... -scoff-

LYRA! Language! I'm sure Canadia doesn't approve of that, either! It doesn't matter if you don't have – er, space to fill out the dress. It will make you appear regal and formal.

You broke America's brain? Oh dear. How?

England


	68. Valencia 7

England

Like France's, you say?

My people think it looks like a mix of Spanish and French! That's why a lot of my people prefer French better than English ^^

Your Spanish is quite good. I see too much accent marks, though. And they lack in some words... But we hardly ever write them in mails, so it's OK (Our people is killing Spanish in the internet... Awww...)

Love

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

That it does, but it looks suspiciously more like French. It would make sense it's similar to Spanish; you are in Spain, after all. But..._ why_ does it look like French, I wonder?

P-prefer French... to _English_? How? If old frog face finds out, he'll never shut up about it...

Ah, thanks. I don't use it much, so that's good I still remember it. English-speakers worldwide murder my language, as well. From those dreaded abbreviations to removing vowels from already short words. Laziness has no limit.

England


	69. Belize 11

Hola Papi~

Guatemala says that drinking isn't good for a person's health, but I think she  
>says that because she doesn't drink much. I've never really had any type of<br>liquor, so I wouldn't know.

Si Papi, Uncle Wales is not nice. I like your magic better. I DID learn from  
>you :D<p>

De nada Papi~ I like making scones!

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

...it really isn't. But it's not like there's an alternative f-for wanting to, er, _forget _certain things. It's a dangerous love-hate relationship, almost. Don't drink. Eventually you want more and more and cannot quit. You'll save yourself a lot of hell by being abstinent.

Ahaha! Wouldn't Wales like to hear _tha_ – er, I mean. Thank you. Have you been practicing it lately? I could have sworn I saw a trail of smoke all the way over there in the other hemisphere. But it could be America grilling or something.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: People being rude to England= sarcastic England unleashed. So I don't mind XD**


	70. British Columbia 5

Uncle Iggy,

Yeah. France is worse. I warn you, never allow him into your house with a  
>bottle of wine. It can get ugly fast. Remember that bruise he had that kinda<br>covered most of his face? My fault~ Ahahahaha! Your dynamic with Uncle Al is  
>so cute. I wonder when the sexual tension between you two will just snap and<br>you'll go at each other like animals in heat~?

Deal. I really wanna see Broadway in London and go shopping, and all the cool  
>stuff.<p>

Kind of, yeah. They can be fun when you find a good one. You're a fan of  
>fantasy stories, right? Maybe I'll lend you my copy of one of the Tales Games.<br>You might actually find it interesting, y'know. 'Sides. Everyone's gotta try  
>something new every once in a while!<p>

I've read Philip Pullman's stuff a few times before... I cry absolutely every  
>time I read it. The whole 'starcrossed lovers forced to be apart after they've<br>only just realized they're in love' thing gets me every time. Not to mention,  
>the way he writes is so dynamic, and the imagery he creates is just beautiful.<br>Reading something from a British author, and then moving to an American  
>author, I can definitely see the differences in the types of literature they<br>are.

Uhh... Shoot. Did I say a favor? N-Nothing! Nothing at all, ahahahaha~ -looks  
>nervous-<p>

Dude, Uncle Iggy, you need to loosen up a bit. If you can call people 'twats',  
>'gits' and 'bloody wankers', I can say mouthgasm every once in a while.<p>

Hey. Heyheyhey. Tony IS real, you know. Whenever I go over to Uncle Al's, I  
>get called a 'fucking canuck'. Little bugger refers to you as a 'fucking<br>limey', too. It's kinda funny~

... Canadia-who? I'm sure you meant CANADA, didn't you? -narrows eyes- And  
>since you don't believe me, I'm attaching a photo of me in my suit. Try and<br>find any evidence that I'm a girl. I look GOOD as a guy~

Uh... I'll tell you later, when I've figured out how he's doing with the  
>knowledge. I don't think he expected me to tell him what I did so bluntly.<p>

Lotsa love,

Lyra.

PS. See? See? I totally do look good in that suit.

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

_Never _have France around. End of story. Unfortunately, his attendance is mandatory for the meetings in all the European organisations we're part of, but other than that, refrain from having him anywhere near you. By 'near', I mean to have _at least_ an ocean between you and him. Which is the current distance. Keep it so.

C-c-_cute_? _Don't _call me 'cute'. There is no... 'unresolved sexual t-tension' either; that was France's _lovely_ creation. Which i-is false. Yes. _False_.

Summer really is not the best time to come, though. I know it's not summer yet; but it's approaching. All the tourists pour in then. It gets crowded.

Maybe I could try playing a videogame. I suppose. But books are always best! I actually have an incredibly lengthy list of other novels I have to read. As well as plays. I never tire of Shakespeare. Brilliant man. I was fortunate enough to meet him, when he was alive.

_Of course_ our literature varies! Modern American authors aren't as descriptive as British writers. I'll _admit_, some classic American books are alright. I, for one, take pride in my_ own _literature.

Hmm. Really? -suspicious-

You're still a growing lady. Besides, language is never an attractive feature in women. The only exception is Hungary, but she's... ah, _herself_.

They are not real. It's something America probably dreamed up to pass the time. There's always a _logical_ explanation. If the best insults Yanks came up with for us are ones that sound like fruits, it's not very offensive. I know why we're sneered at as 'limeys', but honestly, it's stupid.

Right, of course! Canada. Yes, you look like a girl. Like a female version of your father, sort of. -sigh- You need to be feminine, British Columbia, _feminine_. Are my words falling on deaf ears?

Utterly confused. I am utterly confused. Er. But do I_ really _want to know?

England

P.S. A dress would suit you better.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I love England, but I have to disagree- I. Hate. Shakespeare. Blargh. And I totes think aliens are real, whereas sadly unicorns and the like aren't, in my opinion. **


	71. Serbia 6

England

You've been drinking. Then again, I passed out last night when I started  
>drinking Russia's vodka. Who knew that stuff was so strong! He doesn't take up<br>that much space and you aren't going to die unless your government collapses.  
>Okay, maybe Russia gets a bit sadistic with his desires to impale others. Have<br>you ever seen Russia's house? It's bigger than any mansion I've seen! Aren't  
>you the one with an allegedly cursed chair? Russia's mentioned it once or<br>twice. Anyways, I'm going to finish off the last of the vodka.

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

I'm going to do my best to not break out in British swears. So. I'm very sorry I wrote to you while I was sloshed. It's like a whole different me emerges while I'm drinking. Awfully informal of me.

I don't drink vodka, personally. Much less one that belongs to Russia. He practically_ lives _off the stuff, doesn't he? Stealing any from him would surely be disastrous for anyone he dislikes. Which is most of the world.

Ah, don't listen to what I say when I'm drunk. It's all nonsense. Really. Ahaha...

I try to avoid Russia. He can be alright, but he's so unpredictable. Beneath that smile are cruel intentions and mischief. Probably more bad things, but I'd like to avoid thinking about that.

Busby's Chair isn't '_allegedly_' cursed, it really is. No one has sat on it since the late 1970s. But anyway, that chair has a haunting legacy behind it.

England


	72. America 4

England,

Damn how did you know it was me? Yes it's me, America. Look I'm sorry ok? I  
>just wanted to be on my own for once but deep down, I miss you very much. I<br>wish you would talk to me again and maybe...oh never mind it's stupid. Please  
>forgive me, for everything.<p>

~ america

* * *

><p>America,<p>

I... really don't know wh-what to say. But you can't expect me to simply_ forget_ how much h-heartache you caused me, do you? Words don't fix much. It's been... what, two, three centuries? You c-couldn't have said something _then_?

A-are you pulling my leg, America? Y-you're... _never_ this serious. Is there s-something you're wanting to get out of me? A trick beneath your sleeve? Because I won't be taken for a f-fool _again_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: -explodes- I heart US/UK. Not gonna lie.**


	73. Serbia 7

England

My boss found the vodka and hid it. He refuses to let me drink any more.  
>Apparently I started yelling Serbian swears last night before passing out. As<br>for Russia and his vodka, he drinks an average of five gallons a year. Usually  
>he drinks more. What do you drink? I can't really imagine you as being a big<br>wine drinker and beer seems to be Germany's thing. If Busby's Chair is cursed,  
>then how come Russia isn't dead or mortally wounded?<p>

Officially, I'm allowed on EU Peace missions. I don't mind working with the  
>other countries, but I'm not thrilled about it either. Ah, just one more way<br>to get into the EU.

Do you by any chance believe in the dark arts of sorcery and magic? You were  
>asking me if I was magical or something while intoxicated. Some country<br>mentioned you having invisible friends or something at the last summit I went  
>to.<p>

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

_Five bloody gallons_? H-how? Wait, don't mind that. It's _Russia_, after all.

I drink rum, ale, and lagers. Depends on what mood I'm in. But I only drink liquor made in Britain.

I don't know the answer to that question, and I don't want to know, either. Russia has never been a little ray of sunshine. My guess is that Busby's Chair is _less_ evil than him, and he... overpowered it with his malice or something. But Russia is also a nation, and we really cannot die unless we're _forgotten_ by people. Either of those theories could be likely as to why he didn't die.

Y-yes, I believe in magic. I practice it, actually. My friends are _not_ invisible! They're r-real, I swear!

England


	74. Hungary 10

Bunkó Angliában,

Wait, what was the way you didn't..mean that? Eh? I'm not following.

Men in Britan...I didn't know there were such things...only prisses...Hmmm~

YOU WERE SITTING IN FRANCEY-PANCEY'S LAP FOR KRISZTUS SAKE!

I was a child and having chest pains! I thought I had a serious medical  
>condition! He was simply helping, dick. May I remind you..I-I thought I was..a<br>boy...at that point.

Ignoring it doesn't make it any less true Artie~

Why would I hurt Lovino? What's he doing to piss you off?

Aw, but Francis gives me all the updates between you and Alfie! It's cute.  
>That and we do bond over a few things. He's only horrible to you because you<br>two have been rivals since the begining of freaking time.

That, and I think you don't really hate him. You two just have a  
>really..really...odd, cruel friendship.<p>

Y-YOU SHUT UP. FUCKING CAUSE ANOTHER BOSTON TEA PARTY IF YOU DON'T CAN IT.  
>I'LL EVEN HAVE YOUR LOVER HELP ME.<p>

A-A..b-...you...-y-you...Why you...

JAPAN TOLD ME THAT WAS A DREAM! FHFRYG-

..I-I beat those "lovely" sounds was just me beating the ever living szar out  
>of him...<p>

I don't see how that has to do with how yooour brother, conciders me more of a  
>sibling than you~<p>

You're So Bitter Sometimes Really,

Elizaveta

P.S.- ...Right~ Not nearly enough at all.

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

Don't mind what I said, then.

What a_ coincidence;_ I was unaware there were women in Hungary. As were _you._

That's rubbish! I was _not_! Besides, I was a fairly young nation then. France could have overpowered me.

-scoff- _That's _believable. Shows how mush you socialised with others your age; your same_ gender_. Honestly, Hungary, how the bleeding hell _did _you grow up?

No, but it will make you _shut up_. So do as such. Git.

How is Lovino making me angry? Hmm, let me think. Oh, I've got it! _He was born_. Much like that frog.

_WHAT_ SORT OF 'UPDATES' BETWEEN AMERICA AND I? And I'm rivals with France because he's always been trying to invade me! And he's a damned lecherous pervert!

What a_ wonderful '_friendship' it is I've got with America, then. I definitely cannot forget how bloody _fun _it was when he rebelled against me. The_ incredibly bonding _War of 1812, too! _Fun_ times, indeed.

BUGGER! I DON'T LUH...LUH... ER, _LIKE_ AMERICA! He's a fucking annoying sod!

_Obviously_ it wasn't a dream! Why d'you think Prussia's so keen on bothering you? He uses that to hide his _true_ feelings. How sad. The same goes for you.

I beg to differ.

You want Sealand? Excellent. Another git off my hands. I think Sweden and Finland own him now, so go ask _them_ instead.

England

P.S. Piss off.


	75. Washington DC 7

Iggy,

Yep~ I have a stash at my place, but don't tell dad. He doesn't like it when  
>we drink a lot.<p>

Pfft, it's not /that/ long. The Washington District of Colombia, but you guys  
>always call me DC.<p>

YAAAY~! :3

dude, you sound less drunk and more high. Did you eat some of Canada's  
>brownies?<p>

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Washington D.C.,<p>

Don't promote what I say when I'm drunk. And I don't approve of you hiding liquor from your father.

Exactly _why_ are you a 'district'? And naming you after that bastard Columbus, who didn't even discover America in the first place... -mumbles something about how a Briton should have discovered it- Damn Spaniards, Italians, and Vikings.

A-again, only mind my words when I'm sober. I think I may have been..._ beaten up _by someone, and judging from my past letter, I may have been seeing spots or fainted. It would explain why my vision is a a bit off and this bruise on my cheek.

England


	76. New York 1

Hi Mr. England,

Sorry, I don't know what to call you -_-;; yeah... anyway, it's New York!  
>Remember, America's daughter? The one who locked you in the closet with<br>America? -_-;; yeah... anyway, how are you? It's finally summer, so I expect a  
>tan mister! :) I finally have I tan again! I was WHITE! Like, really white,<br>like glue or something!

Ug, New Jersey is calling me for something. He's sooooo annoying. Any  
>suggestions on how to take care of older brothers?<p>

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: I've been called Mattie lately (because of Manhattan... don't ask) So you  
>can call me that if you want.<p>

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

I know who you are, you don't need to mention the..._ closet incident_. You're probably too young to remember, but the New York-New Jersey Campaign? Ahaha... um, I was protective of my colonies then. Aaand may have been _slightly _destructive to you and your brother. Sorry.

I also can't advise you on that. My own relationship with my siblings is estranged. We're more like strangers. Perhaps you can ask your uncle... er, what's his n- Canada! Ask Canada, maybe?

England

P.S. But which do _you_ prefer?


	77. India 1

Hey iggy you remember me from yesterday right? The boy in the blue shirt  
>talking to America? Well I was wondering if I could make my Bollywood versions<br>of your movies like Sweeney Todd perhaps? I do it to america's films but I  
>really like yours a lot, too,<p>

Truly your's, India.

* * *

><p>India,<p>

You used to be my colony. I'm certain I can tell you apart without aid.

Ah, I'm glad you liked_ my_ version better than America's remake. Honestly, all the '_films_' from his country are total pants. I'd ramble on about how worthless and awful they are, but I could write an entire essay, which would certainly bore you, so I'll refrain.

I don't have control of the cinema business in my country. Since those who were involved in my film are now deceased, I don't know who you could ask. I would voice my opinion, but I am unsure if I would get chastised for deciding on something that does not belong to me.

England

P.S. Your tea is delicious!


	78. Ely 5

England,

Y-yes I'd- Wait a second… You wouldn't by any chance happen to like  
>CHOCOLATE, now would you?<p>

¡Me da gusto saber eso! Usted puede confiar en mi, Señor Inglaterra. =D

Well surely you must acknowledge the POSSIBILITY of ghosts and aliens, no? As  
>for fairies and magical creatures, I'm certain you're right. I would LOVE<br>*tries not to overemphasize the word* if you came over to visit so we could  
>prove your theory right. ^_^<p>

I am honored to hear you say that sir! *curtseys a little, wearing jeans*

Well I do love the… I don't know, romantic ambience (?) of the French.  
>France, however, takes it to an extreme. 'Tis shameful.<p>

*continues to hug* You are OH so welcome, England… *drools a little*

Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

It's... alright. I don't eat much candy. When I want to eta some, I prefer Cadbury's. And lately their confectionery has been different, probably from merging with those insolent Kraft dolts...

There is _no _possibility. Aliens are a ridiculous. Ghosts seem a _bit_ likely, but extraterrestrial creatures? Pfft. No. I'm.. sort of busy at the moment. And am being requested a lot lately to visit many others around the world. I'll add you to my stops, though.

-twitches at informal curtsy, strained smile- Er.

_Romantic_? All of that is set up for rape and/or sexual molestation, courtesy of that cheese-eating surrender monkey!

. . .

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You can read English translations of the manga online~ I'd say buy it in English but TOKYOPOP SHUT DOWN GODDAMMIT, WHY? ;_; The 3rd volume would have been released yesterday T-T Pretty much _all_ the nations in Hetalia are hot xD Indeed I am Mexican. I was born there, ahaha. No Alfred-ness running through my veins. It makes me happy to know_ anyone_ out there reads/watches Hetalia -is alone IRL-**


	79. Romano 3

Okay, LOOK, tea-bastard:

Well, shit. What crawled up YOUR ass and died? Oh, YOU speaking complete  
>truth. Yeah. Okay. And I'm the head of the fucking Scotland Yard.<p>

And I can be cheery when I want to be! I'm just not oblivious and moronic as  
>my brother is! Not MY fault I have enough brains to not run around and look so<br>damn happy all the time.

...

WHAT THE - CAZZO, I DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT FUCKING TOMATO-SUCKING DITZ.  
>W-W-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT FROM?<p>

Stupid... stupid, stupid, bastard.

I don't NEED help! Especially not from you! And sure, I'll respect you. When  
>America finally does something right and knocks you off the face of the<br>planet! Tch. Go skip off to Narnia with Tinkerbell and whoever the hell else,  
>will you?<p>

P.S. ... It's Canadia. No. Wait. Canada. That was a typo. Si, Lovino's fine,  
>Arthur. Thanks. I guess.<p>

Sincerely,

Lovino

* * *

><p>Eyetie,<p>

I should say the same for _you, _wop!

Oh, yes, _cheery_. And France is a virgin. Maybe if you were actually pleasant, people would_ like _you. Wouldn't that be wonderful, having someone_ like_ you?

Every time you deny that, France rapes another nation.

You _would _know about Narnia. You're _very_ far in the closet. Surely, you see Narnia as well. Or perhaps you're just in a normal one, with_ Spain_ in there, too.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I used ethnic slurs for Italians (eyetie and wop). I don't mean to offend anyone that is actually Italian, it's just England being pissy.**


	80. Madrid 8

Señor Inglaterra,

Maple trees don't ooze syrup. It's sap.

At least, that's what Ottawa says. Ottawa... I feel like beating Ottawa with a  
>brick... or something of the sort. I wonder why...<p>

Oblivious!Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

That was _exactly _my point. Sap is already thick enough; syrup is thicker. So I implied you were being ridiculously sweet and syrupy.

Who the hell is Ottawa?

Pissed!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry again, Madrid Dx You were the unlucky one to be replied to right after Lovino. I made someone laugh? Yay~**


	81. Moscow 4

Dear Mister Angliya,

Uhm. Who is Captain Hook, if I may?

You are feeling alright, da? Oh! You.. ah... I'm so confused.

No, Saint Petersburg! Don't do that! No! You'll let Aunt Belarus into the  
>house if you do that! No! No! Stop! Bad, big brother! Bad! Thank you, brother,<br>and stay seated or I'm going to knock you out myself.

Da svedanya, Moskva

P.S. I only just noticed I wrote down everything I said. Oops. Oh, well.

* * *

><p>England,<p>

N-no one. No one at all, ahaha... -sweatdrop-

Er, I was drunk. It's a common occurrence, sadly. Ignore what I say when I'm like that, alright? Rubbish and nonsense straight out of my mouth.

I... I won't ask what exactly was happening there...

England

P.S. It's not that weird that you wrote that (the _events_ you wrote about, however, are a different matter); I don't know how _I _write when I'm drunk.


	82. Singapore 2

Dear England,

If you want some help with hangovers, I have a few solutions.

Yeah, I guess it would be pretty awkward. And yes, you did own me at one  
>point. I was still a bit of a child then, but I have such a vivid memory of<br>those years. Odd, isn't it? How no matter what happens, there are some  
>memories that we never let go? I don't even know why those years were so<br>great... maybe because life wasn't so stressful for me back then... now it's  
>just work, work, work non-stop, you know?<p>

Oh! If you don't want to come here, I could always go out there! Your home is  
>so pretty, I would prefer going out there anyways.<p>

Sincerely,

Yovani Chong

(Singapore)

P.S.

Just thought I'd add this on but... even though everyone says you're a really  
>bad cook. I don't agree with them. You're a great cook, one of the best!<p>

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

The hangover seems to be gone now, but when I drink again (an inevitable event), it'll be back the next morning. Knowing something that would ease the pain would be excellent. Then I wouldn't just do my... _usual_ routine while dealing with a hangover.

I feel awful; I don't remember you very well. A few details here and there. Japan comes to mind, odd.

Unfortunately, as nations, our brains get sort of full sometimes. And the corny memories tend to stick around, don't they? Work is also a responsibility that goes along with our job. You haven't been doing it very long, so it may feel like a chore, but after you've existed for some centuries, you'll think of it as natural.

So... many... possible visitors... and invites. Aaah, if you want to, it's fine.

England

P.S. R-really? Thanks...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Everyone wants to come to England or have him visit them~! xD**


	83. British Columbia 6

Uncle Iggy,

Got'cha. I agree with that entirely. -shudder- He gives me the damn creeps in  
>a horrible way. I dunno what Dad sees in him...<p>

If there's nothing between you two, then why are you denying it so firmly and  
>seeming so uptight about it? Maybe the frog's onto something here...? Heehee~<p>

Perhaps in the fall, then? I hear it rains a lot at that time and, well... I  
>love the rain. It's just relaxing to walk in and listen to. I'm sure a stroll<br>in the rain with you might be some fun~

W-Wow... You agreed...? O-okay. I'll find one you'll like. I'm pretty sure I  
>have one that mentions unicorns somewhere~ I really don't mind Shakespeare.<br>It's a bit hard to get into at first, but it gets easier to understand later  
>on. I have a preference for British authors, really. All the best stories come<br>from over there.

Y-Yeah. I-It's nothing at all, Uncle Iggy. Don't worry about it!

Hungary's cool, though. I'm on her photo mailing list, actually! I have an  
>awesome collection by now~ Eheheheh~<p>

Can you explain the little grey dude who lives at Uncle Al's house logically?  
>Tony exists. Trust me.<p>

And agreed! I mean, I get called by my main hockey team! It's kinda dumb...  
>Tony's just crappy at coming up with insults...<p>

I look... like a girl version of Dad?

...

That's it. I'm chopping off my hair. How does the same length as yours sound?

Oh... Ahaha. Uncle Al just found out that I go for both men AND women. I don't  
>think he expected it~<p>

Looove,

Lyra.

PS. No.

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

You wonder what America _sees_ in him? America and France are _d-dating_? W-why wasn't I informed? America's boss and mine are p-practically chums! Why didn't_ I _know? I-I thought America lik-

...o-oh. I misread that. Er. Ignore above comment. I would scratch it out, but that looks tacky. And I can't find any more paper, bugger. I deny it all because it i-isn't true and if I don't, then everyone... would get the _wrong_ idea.

It's not_ just _rain. Sometimes it's light rain you can take a walk in, but others it's like the sky decided to barf water all over the city.

Agreed _reluctantly_ so. And you have a _very _right mind in preferring _our _authors.

I don't like it when I'm lied to, British Columbia...

Don't. Mention. Hungary. And photos._ Ever._

That's probably a mutated chicken. Aren't America's scientists trying to figure out ways to make food faster? It's an experiment gone wrong, surely.

Tony isn't real! It's just that America watches too many movies, believes in them, and spreads ridiculous ideas like that around.

DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR! And are you suggesting there's something wrong with mine? Because you implied that by making it short like mine, it's bad! Men are supposed to wear it short; long hair is feminine. _You _are a _girl_. A _girl_. So you should look like one.

I... didn't know that ether. But it doesn't change my opinion of you or what you should do (namely, dress appropriately).

England

P.S. _Yes_. Are you really disobeying an adult's orders? I'm not your father, but your real one used to be a colony of mine. This does not mean that you shouldn't listen to your elders, regardless of their relation to you.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ohonhonhon was England worried for a second there about America?**


	84. Valencia 8

England

Looks deceive ;) The pronunciation is similar to Spanish. The only thing that  
>looks like French is grammar. I cant omit the agent, like in Spanish.<p>

French seems easier to murder to my people, hahahah

You know... Spanish is murdered by Spaniards. We say that the ones who speak  
>the best Spanish are from Latinoamérica.<p>

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

But _how_ did France have any sort of influence on Spain? I thought they were friends, not bang buddies. That's _basically_ what I'm wondering and implying. I can't think of any other way the frog's language would spread.

French murders my own ears. They sound like they're gurgling water.

Really? I would think it the other way around. Spanish is... well, from _Spain_; shouldn't their way of speaking it be the 'right' way? Just like English. America butchers it; it is a creation of_ mine_, of course.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Latin American Spanish sounds lame to my ears XD But that's 'cause I grew up hearing them. Spanish accents from _Spain_, meanwhile, are hot.**


	85. Washington DC 8

Mr. I'm a gentleman,

Pfft, he just doesn't like it when we all get shit-faced and end up in his  
>room one way or another. Trust me when I say FRANCE wouldn't even wanna know.<p>

Actually, I don't really remember...

Aw, no Flying Mint Bunny?

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Washington D.C.,<p>

Did... did you just _imply_ th-that-? N-no, I don't want to know. If it would be dirty to_ France's_ ears, to mine it would... oh, god.

I don't blame you; some things escape my mind as well. I've forgotten some of the names of my former colonies. I've really never been one to forget _that_, much less a remembrance of the empire I once held.

Flying Mint Bunny_ is _real. He doesn't just appear when I'm drunk. He appears when he wants to, even when I'm sober. It's not my fault other nations are too daft to believe in magic and think I'm barmy... hmph.

And yes, I_ am_ a gentleman, referring to what you addressed me.

England


	86. Moscow 5

Dear Mister Angliya,

Oh. Okay.

Unfortunately, it's the same when I write letters and try talking to any  
>individual at the same time. I write down my side of the conversation, like I<br>did in my last letter. If that happens, I'd suggest ignoring it, just as you  
>told me to.<p>

Thank you. I don't even know half of what happened myself.

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Well, if you write them down, at least you've got _some_ way of remembering and recording events. You don't want to forget things.

...Just as 'France' is a good adjective, 'Russia' is too. Your family is... er, _interesting_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: "In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, Party finds YOU!" ...sorry, I was reminded of that joke hahaha. I love Russian Reversal jokes.**


	87. Serbia 8

England

Russia can't seem to get drunk either. I tried once. He downed most of a  
>gallon at my place once and didn't pass out cold like I was expecting.<p>

Oh, do you think I can buy some ale off you? I need something that I can drink  
>and won't make me pass out all the time. I wish I had Russia's ability to hold<br>his liquor. I've never had British-anything, to be honest.

I believe in dragons. There's one called a змaј. I think you would spell  
>it, zmaj. Anyways, it's really smart, incredibly rich, a good magic user,<br>stalks women and gets them pregnant. I'll believe you that your friends are  
>real even if no one else can see them.<p>

Do you think I could come over and visit you in England once I get my current  
>shit taken care of? The last time I got to walk around London was in 1913 only<br>because I got lost trying to find the building where the Treaty of London was  
>being signed. I don't do much there except go to summits or UN meetings.<p>

I have to go terrorize some of the Balkans. They need a healthy dose of fear  
>in their lives.<p>

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

_What_ is that man made of? I shudder thinking about it.

Never had ale? Or British products? _Unacceptable_. Surely, we export _something _to you? I don't think Her Majesty would appreciate me sending liquor through the mail, but you could always buy it here yourself, or some place where our alcohol is sold. You _must_ try British beer now.

...why is it that so many are telling me they believe in magic? Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. But I never knew there were so many believers out there. Take _that_ America, ahaha! Anyway. Hmm, your dragons sound like British ones. Ours aren't very friendly, only when they want to be. But it might be because nearly all of them live in Wales -snort- You know, I actually haven't _seen_ a dragon in a while...

You certainly can. Then you'd be better off finding liquor, with my help. But London is a wonderful city! Back then, it was more, er, polluted, but we've changed... sort of.

You do th- wait, _what_?

England


	88. Madrid 9

Señor Inglaterra,

Ooh. If you want to imply thick, think molasses. In the middle of winter.  
>That's thick.<p>

Ottawa, capital of Canada. Why is it only I remember Ottawa?

Hm? Enrique wants to go for a walk, so I suppose I should stop writing.

Oblivious!Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

What are molasses? It sounds like a swear. Don't say such dirty words.

I don't even remember _Canada _half the time. He disappears so easily. And maybe you only remember Ottawa because it's the capital, after all.

Have a nice walk, I suppose. I've really never owned a pet so I don't know what that's like.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: From my understanding, 'molasses' is known as 'treacle' in the UK. For the longest time, I got molasses and moccasins confused, bahaha. I still do. The woes of being a non-native English speaker. Plus they sound alike (to me). Same for Canada's cities/provinces and such- Ottawa, Toronto, Ontario. So many ts! x-x**


	89. Hungary 11

England,

Well. Someone's snippy.

Oh sweetie, I know you don't know what a real woman is, being so far in that  
>closet of yours you're finding those old cod-pieces you used to bash into head<br>first as a child(how egar and coordinated you were a a child by the way,  
>really so talented), but I would think you'd be educated on gender. Although,<br>maybe you never bothered to learn because you never wanted one? Dunno~ Maybe  
>I'll leave that to the blame of your siblings.<p>

Then you just admitted that France, at one point, was more powerful than you?  
>I'll just-<p>

HEY! That was just it! There were practically NO other girl nations around!  
>It's more understandable when I'm surrounded by grubbly little boys for the<br>entierty of my childhood.

...Again, very bitter. He has a loud mouth like you so I suppose his feelings  
>will be fine, but you be nice to Feli! Got that?<p>

Oh, nothing. I hear he's been taking what I say to mind though! I'm so proud.  
>Hmm...I could have big plans for him. Hehehee~<p>

Aw, okay maybe your relationship has been rocky, but he does talk to you at  
>meetings. Maybe try visiting him more? Except act happy about it. I mean. You<br>always act so annoyed with visiting him so maybe that's why~

HE'S SO KEEN ON BOTHERING ME BECAUSE HE IS THE MOST ANNOYING MAN ON THE  
>PLANNET.<p>

No, I just find it funny he hates you but you're acctually his brother. Have  
>you even tried to take care of him?<p>

Elizaveta

P.S.- Sure. Where's your tea-cup?

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

_I'm_ snippy? For an example of that, read your _own _replies to me.

_I bloody know what a woman is_! I've had some as queens, and have one currently! Sh-shut up about the cod pieces! I don't have an influence on my country's fashion, and I always thought they were weird anyway. _I _never wore them; my _kings _did.

At one point. Long ago. And not for that long. But just because he was older. He's _always_ been a damned hairy, cheese-eating, good-for-nothing, surrendering, pansy wanker.

There's humans. Don't come up with sad excuses.

Veneziano is fine. He's a dimwit, anyway. At least a kind one at that. His _brother_ is a completely different story. What did Spain do to him when he was younger to get such a_ wonderfully _cheery nation?

D-do you _not_ know how to sh-shut up? I don't need to hear any r-rumours from y-you. If you want to see _that_ sort of crap, why not watch it online? I've heard you've_ quite_ a 'collection'.

I thought we were going to _drop_ this subject?

If you keep repeating lies to yourself, they'll become true. So man up and just admit you like having Prussia bother you. Though _man_ning up shouldn't be too hard for you.

He can just stay home and watch the telly or something. He's such a pest; I don't want him around. He's not a real nation anyway.

England

P.S. ...you're a_ bint_.


	90. America 5

Arthur (I'm going to call you by that name from now on if that's ok),

Like I said before, I really wanted to say it but I never had the chance. You  
>ignored me a lot or you were drunk off your ass. That or we were at a meeting<br>where we had no privacy. If you want a real apology face to face meet me at my  
>place.<p>

~America

(ps. I really am serious, trust me)

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Now y-you're calling me by my _human_ n-name? Um, it's... f-fine.

Why do _I_ need to see _you_? _You're_ the one ap-apologizing. You come. B-but it's not like I-I actually w-want to _see_ you or anything, no...

O-okay, I... trust you.

England


	91. British Columbia 7

Uncle Iggy,

... I will forgive you for that little Canada/America slip-up SIMPLY because  
>it provided me with WONDERFUL blackmail material. Ahahaha~<p>

You know it's so true, which is absolutely adorable, Iggy. You and Al would be  
>so cuuute!<p>

... Sounds wet. Ah, well. That's what umbrellas are for! Besides, I live on  
>the coast, so I know what it's like to get lots of rain. (Although it's been<br>nice and sunny these past few days~) Also, "decided to barf water all over the  
>city"? That wasn't a very dignified comment, Uncle Iggy. It's kinds badass to<br>hear you talk like that!

Ahahaha... L-Lying? Who said anything about... Oh... Fine. I MIGHT have an  
>appointment next week to get a tattoo that Uncle Al MIGHT be signing for...<br>Please don't tell Dad...?

Don't mention her photos in general, or don't mention that lovely set of you  
>dancing on a table in nothing but a waist apron, shirt collar and cuffs, and<br>clutching a bottle of booze in each hand?

Such denial, Uncle Iggy. Although, I can see your mythical friends sometimes,  
>as well, and Uncle Al doesn't believe in those...<p>

O-Oh. Guess I... should've read this letter before I went to the salon and  
>asked them to chop it all off. If... If it's any consolation, I mimicked your<br>style out of admiration...? Mama Haida said I look like a teenage, female  
>version of you, with brown hair~ Just consider it a token of my love, Uncle<br>Iggy. Ahahaha...ha...

Thank goodness. I'm kinda glad you won't judge me for it. I was truly worried  
>for a second, there. And I suppose it just makes it harder for people to guess<br>who my crush is...

Looove,

Lyra.

PS. ... FINE. YOU WIN. If you pick out the dress (and choose something MODERN,  
>please!) and send it over, I'll wear it to meetings instead of my suit. Happy?<br>-pout-

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

IF YOU USE _ANY_ OF THE INFORMATION I ACCIDENTALLY BLABBERED ABOUT I WILL USE WHATEVER YOU TELL ME AGAINST YOU, AS WELL!

Now that we've _established_ that...!

_America_ and _me_? Wh-what's _wrong _with you? Ahaha... b-besides, it's not like America doesn't already have others throwing themselves at him. N-not that I_ care_.

Well... sometimes it's not nice, plain rain but _acid_ rain. London is polluted. It's such a great, majestic city, but unfortunately, the smoke and dirt and grime are also a part of us. The countryside has it better, and it's scenic as well, but I'm more used to the city life. I told you, listening to America talk aimlessly at meetings has affected my own speech. Though when it's his turn to talk, I tend to fall asleep. God only knows how I retain _that _information.

HA! So now _I've_ got something. Make anything I write (whether sober, drunk, or not thinking properly) public and Canada will know about your tattoo_ very_ quickly.

SH-SHUT UP, YOU!

A-AND Y-YOU CUT YOUR _HAIR_? Even if you cut it like mine, it does _not _make things better! With the fact that you refuse to dress like a girl, and now your _hair_, people will think you are a boy! _Whatever_ made you think it was alright to have it cut?

Your 'crush'? As impolite as this will be, I don't want to hear anything on the subject of '_love_' -snort- Especially after I find out your hair is _gone_. Don't switch the subject.

England

P.S. -smirk- Glad you came to your senses. You should receive a package with this letter. I hope you like it. Stella McCartney's dresses are pretty and 'modern', as you requested. _And_ she's English.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Stella McCartney's the only British fashion designer I know XD So sorry if there's another designer who has better dresses (I only liked about 3 dresses of hers).**


	92. Ely 6

England,

Aww seriously? I could have sworn you might like chocolate fudge or  
>something… I bought some amazing-tasting fudge brownies the other day and I<br>am sending you one with this letter as a token of my appreciation. ^^ I do  
>hope you enjoy it.<p>

But we can't POSSIBLY be alone here in the universe, can we? Do you honestly  
>think Earthlings are the only ones?<p>

And your presence is requested from many because you are so popular, sir! I  
>also want to apologize for my... er… behavior as of late. *blushes*<p>

I was wondering, sir, what your musical background is like. I know you're  
>quite famous for punk rock and the like, but is there anything else? Do you<br>play any other instruments besides guitar, bass and bagpipes? I'm asking  
>because I'm studying music as a minor in college and I actually love<br>classical music. I sing! Also… I'm proudly American but am ashamed of some  
>of our… er… musical styles. I honestly think our national anthem is too<br>hard to sing. I heard somewhere that a drunkard composed the tune… it sure  
>sounds like it. Haha! I'm going to have to ask America about it though.<p>

Cheese eating surren- Never mind. I'm just a hopeless romantic sir. T_T  
>It's pathetic really.<p>

~Ely

P.S. If you weren't a country but instead a human being, what is something  
>you would change about your life?<p>

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

It tasted _excellent_. Perhaps I just hadn't eaten a good brownie yet.

If there were other alien creatures, wouldn't they have already attempted contact? Besides, with all the space technology we have, and all the space pictures we've taken, shouldn't we have captured a glimpse of aliens or their civilisations? I don't mean the 'UFOs' that people swear they took a picture of in Earth because those are always hoaxes, but with, for example, the Hubble Telescope. Shouldn't someone have found a sign there are others out there?

Well, I _am _the great British Empire.

Music? Personally, I like rock. I suppose the British Invasion hasn't really left me. Unfortunately, these days, there's a lot of pop, which I do _not _like. People don't sing anymore. They tweak their voices to make them sound 'perfect', but in truth, they sound very mechanical and robot-like; not natural at all. So no, I don't... _really _have any more of a music background than that. Do drums count as an instrument? I can somewhat play those. My favourite are guitars, though. -scoff- American '_music_'. That's funny. The tune to your anthem was stolen from me! It was a popular drinking song here in Britain. I don't know what's sadder – that people think that bloke Key composed it all, or that your _national anthem's tune_ is a _drinking song_.

The only good kind of romanticism was the kind that took place during the Romantic Era.

To answer the question you added as a post-script... ah, I'm unsure, actually. I can't imagine life as a human being. I don't really have a past of my own; it's all history. Truthfully, I don't really know the answer, because I can't picture myself as anything other than, well, a nation.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Really? I hadn't heard that. Unfortunately, I haven't found any place where the whole manga is translated, but the majority of it is. But since the anime is pretty much the same as the manga, you don't really miss much, because they're practically the exact thing. Some publishing company needs to pick up Hetalia nau =D= Or else us fangirls will die from deprivation. Himaruya-san really is evil, making countries hot. History will never be the same again. No one introduced me to Hetalia. I found it through- actually, that's a weird story, which I'm not gonna share haha~! You'll get a drunk England reply one day, I promise xD)**


	93. Kylie 1

Dear England,

Hello, I'm an American (Texan, to be suspefic) girl with a few questions for  
>you. If you don't mind answering, why does American culture seem to bother you<br>so much? I've noticed that alot of the time it's brought up, you've gotten  
>annoyed. As I write this, I'm listening to Skillet while texting, which seems<br>perfectly fine and normal to me.

Is there somthing or someone that has made you hate us so much, besides  
>political stuff?<p>

~Kylie

(Oh, and I've attached a little American teddy bear...Isn't his tiny flag  
>cute?)<p>

* * *

><p>Kylie,<p>

Because it's a pansy wannabe version of mine!

Everything American 'songwriters' aspire to be are really what us Britons did long ago. Take The Beatles, for example. How many_ other_ bands tried to steal their sound? Now, though, the main focus of American 'music' seems to be singing about ridiculous, superficial subjects such as partying, drinking, or banging each other. It's _stupid_. Yes, you're correct, it pisses me off to no end. That shite could be hardly considered _music_, but just people trying to recite (absurd) rhymes along to noise.

There's too many 'someones' I blame. Simply look at the Billboard Top 100. Probably less than a quarter of those there are actually good. The rest are completely worthless.

England

P.S. You're really patriotic, aren't you.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I agree with England _completely_ here.**


	94. New York 2

Dear England,

You know my dad burned those pictures of you two in there? I was pissed.

Sorry, I don't really remember the New York-New Jersey Campaign, I was to  
>young, but you gave me a few scars! DX I get no love!<p>

I prefer Elena. Texas is the one who started calling me Mattie. It's his  
>fault everyone thinks I'm a boy!<p>

Ask Canada? Maybe. But I was thinking more weapons of mass destruction. Dad  
>won't let me get my hands on them!<p>

Damn, strangers with your siblings? Damn, I've never been so happy to be so  
>close to Jersey in my life. He's always there for me, even thought he's as<br>annoying as hell... Damn, I sound like a sentimental old person!

Damn, I feel depressed. I think there's a party somewhere in the city  
>tonight….. Ok! I'm gonna go get drunk off my ass. So, later<p>

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

For once, America does the right thing.

Good. It wasn't exactly pretty. Then again, war never is, and the Revolutionary War was a bitter conflict between your dad and I. How can you say you get no love? New York City is such a popular tourist attraction (especially with people from my country -grumbles-).

I'll call you Elena, then.

You don't need to obliterate your brothers to achieve peace. Ignoring them also works fine. Trust me on that. But they might send you curses by mail, which is _certainly_ lovely of them, but at least you never have to see their faces.

Ah, yes. You... do.

...are all of your sibling secret drinkers hiding that matter from America?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks~! 8D **


	95. Belize 12

Hola Papi,

O-kay... no drinking then...

No, the trail of smoke wasn't me. And yes, I have been practicing. Only  
>central american country that does magic.<p>

And I just got a call from Guatemala about the fact that you signed a "death  
>wish"... what's going on?<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Oh God, then I hope it wasn't something burning in the Amazon. There's been so much turmoil there. The last thing that is needed is an uprising.

Have you gotten far? I still haven't able to find the link between parallel worlds, but I'm sure they exist...

Er. It's n-nothing._ Really_. Ahaha...

England


	96. Japan 1

Go aisatsu, Asa-san. I hope you have been well. I know that you are very busy  
>with work, so I thank you for reading this letter.<p>

I must admit though, you need not take this letter seriously as I have no real  
>pressing issue to address..I.. just wanted to take my mind off...<p>

Please excuse me. I had just.. thought of you as the first..I seem to be  
>getting ahead of myself. Please apologise me for wasting you time. I just<br>thought that.. I wanted.. needed..

Please forgive me for this abrupt ending. I cannot continue this particular  
>train of thought.<p>

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

Oh, hello! I haven't heard from you in a while. It's always pleasant to hear from you.

What do you mean?

Is something troubling you? Besides the Fukushima plant; such a horrid event. I admire your workers, they're very brave for going up against something like that. Any luck so far in cooling the reactors down?

Do reply. You seem distressed. It worries me.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: suboi, you made me squee at your cute, stuttery, ever-polite Japan. Nicely done~**


	97. Valencia 9

England,

No, no! Catalan was spoken in one of the two kingdoms that ended up being  
>one(Spain's). So my language (which is Cataluña's), has nothing to do with<br>Spain or France. It's just one more romance language :D Don't think such  
>things!<p>

French sounds great~~ But it's kind of difficult to pronounce.

Well, it should. Spanish has new "rules" since February (or January, I don't  
>remember). We write things such as accent marks in words like "truhán" or<br>"guión". Words that SHOULDN'T have those accent marks. In Latin America they  
>write those words ok. It seems that their Spanish makes more sense that<br>Spain's. *Sighs*

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

It's_ France_. Is there really any other way to think when regarding him?

It's a frog's language. I was not pleased when I was forced to learn it. Similarly for him; we all know the bastard hates my language and anything having to do with me.

Why would one change a language that is already good? Oh, _wait_. America did that too. My way is better...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoa, they really made those rules? Did not know. But that's dumb. They make the word sound completely different! Dx **


	98. Russia 1

Privyet England,

My boss said that it would be advisable for me to write letters to you. He  
>said it would help improve our international relations. I think that is a very<br>smart idea, da?

I don't know why the other countries won't become one with me. Maybe they are  
>all shy? (kolkolkol...) They always back off when I ask. Maybe you will become<br>one with me, da? I think the Baltics would like you. Better than you releasing  
>your sexual tension with the capitalist pig, no? ^J^<p>

Maybe we can share a few bottles of vodka,da? I hear that you like to drink  
>quite a bit. Maybe we could be friends then. That would be nice, my only<br>friend as a child was a yak. I dream of the day I can crush all your stupid  
>faces. kolkolkolkol...<p>

Become one with me?

From Russia.

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

I still don't bloody like you. The grudge is mutual.

Sh-shut up, you filthy Russian pig! And the Baltics _don't_ belong to you anymore! But when they did,_ clearly_ you used them as sex slaves.

Wait, wha-

God. J-just stop writing to me, Russia... this _won't_ be beneficial for the both of us.

And NO. I won't 'become one with you', you sick bastard.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I LOL'D AT THIS LETTER, FOR SRS. Great Russia! XD **


	99. Singapore 3

Dear England,

Well, on the rare occasion I drink, I get really bad hangovers. Usually, what  
>helps is a lot of water and maybe some orange juice, eating bananas and taking<br>a cold shower. Hopefully thay helps!

I remember Japan, also. Those weren't exactly the most...enjoyable years of my  
>life. I didn't get to see you at all those few years. I-I'd rather not think<br>about all of that right now...I've had a slightly stressful day...I'm trying  
>to think happy thoughts...<p>

Work is still a very...different thing for me. I manage though, and I know  
>with time it will be normal for me. It'll just take awhile.<p>

Well, if I get an opening in my schedule, I'll let you know!

Sincerely,

Yovani Chong

(Singapore)

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

Ugh, that doesn't sound too appetising on those awful mornings where everything tastes like bile, but I'll try it next time.

A-ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of those times. What happened to you to make you stressed? I barely hear any news from your place.

I hope this doesn't happen to you, but wars are_ quite _an event, compared to the paperwork and meetings we do now.

All right.

England


	100. America 6

Dude I knew my sweet talk would work! France was right! I'm so glad I finally  
>got you to warm up to me, that's so amazing! *cough* anyways I'll be over shortly at your place and make sure your imagery friends or anyone else is around. I also have a personal confession to make between you and I as long as you don't tell anyone.<p>

~the awesomely awesome hero, America!

* * *

><p>America,<p>

WAIT, WHAT? You asked that _frog_ for advice?

. . .

-does not know whether to be creeped out or flattered-

Er, uh, anyway. Um, y-yeah, I'll...I'll see you.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 100 letters? You guys are awesome! 8D And the honor just happened to go to America xD Person writing in as America, I love you for writing in as America.**


	101. Washington DC 9

Iggy,

*nods* y-yeah...West Virginia, BOTH of the Dakotas and New Jersey...

Funny thing, /I/ can remember ALL of your former colonies~ Ireland, Gibraltar,  
>Malta, Cyprus, India, Ceylon, Straits Settlements, Hong Kong, Malay States,<br>North Borneo, Labuan, Wei-hei-wei, Sarawak, Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand,  
>New Guinea, Fiji Islands, Tonga and Pacific Islands, Gambia, Sierra Leone,<br>Lagos, Gold Coast, Somaliland Nigeria, Zanzibar, Uganda, British East Africa  
>(Kenya), Rhodesia, Bechuanaland, South Africa, Mauritius, Seychelles, St<br>Helena, Ascension, Canada, Newfoundland and Labrador, British Honduras,  
>Bahamas, Bermuda, Jamaica and Turk's Islands, Leeward Islands, Windward<br>Islands, Barbados, British Guiana, Trinidad and Tobago, and Falklands.

I /THINK/ that's it. See, this is what I get when you help raise me. I feel  
>like I need to know these things, even though I don't.<p>

No, I meant that because you were drunk I wouldn't get to hug him. I CAN see  
>most of your friends, you know. Again, guess that's what I get for having you<br>raise me and spending a bunch of time in England with you~

Heh heh, I was actually making a reference to both your song Absolutely  
>Invincible British Gentleman, of which I found a CD of at dad's place, and to<br>the fact that even though you SAY your one, you still have not only the  
>foulest mouth but you were a punk AND a pirate for a loooooong~ time.<p>

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>AAAH! <em>I don't want to know<em>!

. . .

Y-you forgot America...

Of course I remember _most _of them, but some of them, er, escape my mind at times.

WAIT. H-how did _that_ get to America's place? Good Lord, I'm finding out so many things now through these letters. Not all in the _positive _light. But forget you _ever_ heard that atrocious CD. Understood?

Times change. I'm a gentleman now. Otherwise, foreigners wouldn't think of us Britons as posh, now would they?

England


	102. Belize 13

Hola Papi~

Hopefully it wasn't ... Brazil doesn't need anymore of that.

Actually, si! I did! I found the link!

Are you SURE? because I got another call from Nicaragua saying that I needed  
>to leave right now unless I want to be shot to death by El Salvador... wait...<br>did you piss off El Salvador?

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Indeed.

Y-you did? B-but I spent _years_... how long did it take _you?_

What? _No!_ Ahaha...

Alright, _maybe_. But El Salvador is a weaker country than I am. Should he actually want to attack me, he would lose.

But, er, for your own safety, fly back home, would you? I do like having you here, but, um, just in case.

...shit! I forgot America is coming, too! If El Salvador come_s, _then... _oh God_. I screwed up.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: _Everyone_ is better at magic than England. Sorry, Iggy.**


	103. Hungary 12

England,

Ah, I know I'm snippy too. I find pride in it.

I'm kidding, der. I just like to insult people I like to talk to. Er,  
>generally, anyway. It makes things more fun.<p>

"I've had some as queens" ...Am I to assume not all of them were women by  
>this?<p>

I didn't think Francis liked cheese that much. You think you'd go for more of  
>a hairy, wussy, smelly, perverted, cape-wearing, wine-guzzling, surrender<br>monkey, description. Yah.

Back then I wasn't so attached to humans. I was kind of busy fighting off  
>others. You're an island continent so you had a bit of a natural barrier when<br>you were younger, I didn't.

No clue what happened there. Maybe Romano wanted to imitate when you and him  
>duked it out and you eventually burned his Armada? Surely he was pissed about<br>that for quite a while.

I don't need online, I have my own cameras. Everywhere. It's not as intricate  
>as Kiku's, but I'd like to think I have plenty covered.<p>

Were we? Oh, okay.

I could probably man up more than YOU. So, there. And fine, I like having him  
>come around to bother me. Only reason I'm admitting that in this letter is<br>because well...its you.

Now you admit something~! We could make this a game.

So critical, Tsk Tsk.

Elizaveta

P.S.- At least I'm not a bimbo. Also, I'm not the least bit bladdered,  
>thankfully. Though you, mate, may want to clean out your cup. You may be<br>drinking piss. Yes, I'm mocking you. It's fun.

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

_Improperly _so.

See what I mean? I word things one way, and you take them for a _completely_ different meaning! What I meant was women have been queens of the UK, but not many. I've mainly had kings.

I'll be fair. That was a dead-on description. Of course, there's more_ beautiful _words we could direct at France, but those would fill up all the world's supply of paper. And paper shouldn't be degraded as such.

Yet you ended up marrying Austria, anyway.

I don't think the answer is as simple as that. Or innocent, for that matter.

Er. Uh. _Everywhere? _

HA! You admitted it, at last-

Wait. Oh, bollocks, _I _have to admit something else now? Ugh, fine. But only because it's the gentlemanly thing to do; otherwise I would say naught a word.

As with you, I... I might n-not actually _mind _America bothering me that much. He-he's.. alright.

There. Happy?

And... dear, we may bicker, but you're still my... well, friend. I won't tell anyone, I promise.

England

P.S. At least I don't have gypsies. Yes, I mocked _you_.


	104. Madrid 10

Señor Inglaterra,

Uhm. Molasses isn't plural, and I believe it's like syrup, but a lot  
>thicker... but it does sound profane, now that you point it out. American<br>words are just strange. No, scratch that. Americans are weird. When Moscow  
>dragged me to Alaska to meat Juneau, I met a woman named Fanny. It was so<br>strange trying to talk with her... and she said she knew many women named  
>Fanny in the Lower Forty-Nine, so it's not just the former Russian colony!<p>

You have to remember Canada! He's so nice! And... maybe.

Walks are fun until Enrique tries to chase the pigeons. My boss yelled at me  
>for letting him scare the tourists. There were no tourists in that area.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

It isn't?

Damn American grammar.

Oh, you described _treacle_. But how on Earth did the Americans come up with '_molasses_'_?_

_FANNY? _Who the bloody hell names their child _that_? That is... oh, god. _Americans_. Obsessed with sex and inappropriate behaviour, aren't they? No words can describe what I think about that name. _Goodness_... no decency at all.

That may be his greatest strength, but also his weakness. Does he ever really speak up? He's awfully quiet. I haven't heard from him in a long time, in fact. The last time I recall meeting him was – actually, I _don't_ remember when I last saw him. Ahahaha...

Then having a pet seems too troublesome. It sounds like having a child -narrows eyes at Sealand- God, he's annoying. I don't even know where he came from, since he's not actually _my_ child.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You may think Iggy overreacted at Fanny, but you'd be wrong. In America, 'fanny' means butt. Okay, that's bad... but in the UK, though, it means..._ something_ else that's probably worse. Er, how about you look it up if you actually want to know? Dx**


	105. Moscow 6

Dear Mister Angliya,

It usually leads to confusion on my part, no matter what I try.

That is no news to me.

I have heard that Father is sending you mail. If he pesters you, tell him that  
>if he doesn't stop, 'Moscow will tell her aunt where to find you.' That should<br>stop him, at least for the time being. If not, be a bit more specific and tell  
>him that I mean Belarus, da?<p>

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Really? I find writing down events and keeping track of everything is rather helpful. I'm not as obsessed with it as Germany, but I _do_ like things to be ordered.

Ah, it's nothing, but thanks for the... suggestion, I suppose? I can handle Russia. Though I don't know _why_ he would write to me, even if it is so our countries can be more 'friendly' with each other. In his head, that probably just means for everyone else to be annexed by him, or what he calls 'becoming one with Russia'. Which, I'll admit, is creepy as hell, but I can manage.

But that _does_ sound like a lovely threa– er, I mean suggestion.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Nice ones! XD Here's another I like: "In America, you look at a computer monitor. In Soviet Russia, computer monitors YOU!"**


	106. British Columbia 8

Dear, Uncle Iggy.

Hah. Yeah right... You better just stay on my good side. I've got plenty I can  
>use against you now and I'm not afraid to use it~<p>

Awww. But the dynamic between you two is so cute! Besides, you kind of make it  
>totally obvious how absolutely in love with him you are...<p>

... Ow. Acid? That... would HURT. I'd prefer regular rain any day. And since  
>when do Al's habits affect yours? Did you know people adopt the traits of<br>those they care about? Ahahaha~

D-Damn it! F...Fine. Truce... If I burn your 'embarrassing' letter, you're  
>sworn to secrecy about my tattoo. Deal? I REALLY don't need Dad finding out...<p>

AHAHAHA! You got SO hammered! Don't worry, Uncle Iggy. My computer is password  
>encrypted. MAYBE Estonia could crack it, but why would he want my iffy<br>pictures of you? Hahaha~

... Wh-what? I... It's MY hair, you know... And I hate having long hair...  
>A-And I like it this length. Do... Do you really not like it...? ... I'm<br>sorry. I didn't... N-Nevermind...

Just forget it...

Well, it's not like I'd tell you, anyway... You'd probably just 'disapprove'.

S-Sorry, Uncle Iggy... I'm... just not in the mood to write any more...

Sincerely,

British Columbia.

PS. Yeah, thanks. It's... actually pretty cute. I'll wear it for you  
>sometime...<p>

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

It's a_ mutual_ knowledge, then.

I-ignoring_ that_.

Ah, not acid as in it will burn through you, but acid because it has pollutants mixed up in it, raising its acidity level. It does, however, harm other organisms, but not by _burning _through them.

...ignoring s-some _more_.

Of course I won't tell anyone. You can trust me on that. But you better not only dispose of the letter, but _never_ speak of it again, or its contents.

Wa-wait, Lyra, I didn't mean it like _that_. Good Lord, I went back to read my past reply; I sounded like an arse. Don't... don't get sad. -sigh- I don't approve of your new haircut, but it's _your_ hair; style it as you wish... the same goes for your dress apparel. I'm not in charge of you or your father anymore, nor are you a child. I shouldn't force this on you...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: WHOA. England... apologized for something! Well, sort of. He _conveniently _avoided the words 'I'm sorry'. **


	107. Washington DC 10

Iggy,

Beer + shit faced America + West Virgina, who had BLONDE hair and GREEN eyes.  
>If you know where that was going = do not want. God, that was really awkward<br>to walk in on.

THE NEXT MORNING, I SWEAR.

Wow, how did I screw THAT one up?

Awwww~ but I like it. Might I say you have a beautiful singing voice~

Pfft, I think you're a bit to late for /that/ one, Arthur.

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>-twitch-<p>

I'll lightly skip over that. Please... refrain from telling me such stories. _Please_.

Th-thanks. I... don't really sing much. I prefer playing instruments. Still. Never happened, _right?_ I don't even remember _why_ I recorded that blasted thing.

England


	108. Belize 14

Hi Papi,

Um, a week?

P-Papi... you've never seen Él Salvador in MS13 mode, have you?

I-I'll go if you need me to...

Oh shit... both America AND Él Salvador? Papi... this isn't going to end  
>well...<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

A-ah, you're very talented in magic, lad.

I've been through worse than drug gangs. I was a pirate, after all. I-I can handle your brother.

It's... for your own safety, Belize. It was wonderful having you here, but if El Salvador is coming for a fight, he'll _get_ one. But if you somehow ended up hurt...

It'll be fine, all fine. Don't worry. I'll tell America to... hold on or something.

England


	109. Serbia 9

England

In all honesty, I think he's made of vodka. If he asks you about our  
>correspondence, I have said nothing against him. We may be brothers, but he<br>still freaks me out when he marches into my house uninvited with that creepy  
>smile and a lead pipe.<p>

Ah, there's a few exports, but the prices are too expensive for me to buy  
>regularly. Besides, not many places sell your stuff. I could ask around for<br>some British beer.

Magic and dragons have always been a part of my beliefs. I like to keep a few  
>dragons in my house. Now, who's dragon came first? Mine or yours? I don't<br>think it matters anyways. Dragons will be dragons and ideally, we shouldn't  
>annoy them. They might just burn some houses.<p>

Wonderful. I'll see how things are doing in a month or so. Oh, yeah, the  
>pollution. I spent a decade trying to forget about that.<p>

I managed to visit a bookstore today and found some British authors. I bought  
>them in English rather than Serbian. I've only started reading some of William<br>Shakespeare's plays. They're good, I'll give you that.

Terrorizing Balkans. Russia gave me the idea when he came down once. He kept  
>telling me about how great it was to terrorize the Baltics and sort of<br>suggested that I start freaking out my fellow Balkans. Macedonia is amusing  
>when terrified.<p>

Are you in correspondence with Russia? Never let him come to your house with a  
>lead pipe. Actually, it's better to keep a Baltic, one of his sisters, or me<br>between you and him.

Serbia

PS. I've enclosed a stone zmaj for you. He's a little less than a century old.

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

You're probably correct. And don't worry, what's written to you from me stays strictly between the two of us. Just because he's your family doesn't mean you're both in good terms. I can relate.

Damn, now I really wish I could send liquor through the mail. Really, the best place to drink our beer is _in _Britain. I'd mail you plane tickets so you could have your alcoholic fill here, but unfortunately I have some nations eyeing me for possible personal attack. Not the best time to come.

Dragons never liked me much. Probably because of Saint George, my patron saint, who was also a dragon slayer. I actually think dragons are originally from China. So, neither of ours came first.

I don't think the pollution would be fixed in a month. But as I stated earlier, I _may_ be on the brink of an attack, so staying away from me would be best for now.

Ah! That's _excellent! _Shakespeare has the greatest plays and poems. He was absolutely _brilliant_. If only he was still alive so he could write more. Not that I tire of reading his work, but it's so fantastic that I wish he had written more.

Er, Serbia, is that _really _the best thing to do? Especially with the arrest of Mladić still being excitedly covered by newspapers? It could be your chance to get into the EU at last; terrorising your neighbours could damage what could possibly be a great pathway to membership. Not to mention that's a terrible Russia-type act. _Don't become a Russia_.

He sent in _one_ letter. Just one. For 'political reasons', he insists, but I find that dodgy. I can handle him, too, but... thanks for the suggestion, I guess.

Thanks for the gift, by the way. It's lovely.

England


	110. Hungary 13

England,

I was never one to be proper anyway.

Well I don't know English as well as you do! I would think it'd be more  
>understandable, it's not my language of choice. Magyar - or Hungarian as you<br>put it - is.

Thank you, I'm quite good at descriptions- Oh yes, so much more beautiful, as  
>beautiful as his face. And God don't we know how lovely that thing is?<p>

No, I rather not degrade paper either.

EH? WHEN DID THAT COME UP?

I- Roderich and I married sadly for political reasons. He's a very lovely  
>man...Love him, he's great. Yep.<p>

Well then I have no answers for you.

Why Yes Arthur. Everywhere~

Just to be nice, I'll inform you of France sneaking in your back door right  
>now. May want to get ready, don't know if he's attempting to breach another<br>back door in there.

Aww, you acctually did it! Yes I'm very happy. Okay, next one...Hm...-OH

I'd have to admit I 've always liked the fact he's boldness. His albino-ness  
>just seems to reflect the personality I guess.<p>

Now, youuu?

So you acctually do concider me a friend? Astonishing to say the least. The  
>feeling is mutual, if that makes you feel less awkward about it.<p>

Gentlman's honor now, Don't forget~

Elizaveta

P.S.- At least I didn't go from pirate, to butt pirate.

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

True. Again, from the way you were brought up – ghastly. Affected your manners greatly so.

I'm not criticising you for lack of knowing English (which isn't true; you've demonstrated great ability in _swearing_ in my language), but for the perverted way you think. Isn't Hungarian one of the most difficult languages to learn?

Apes can't get any more hairier than that. And what's up with that _ridiculous _stubble on his chin? I swear it's been there since he was a child. A_ child_.

So you never liked Austria at all? Even when you sent in those soldiers to help him during one of the many wars he fought against Prussia? Surely you didn't hate him from the start. Is there a _particular_ reason as to why you dislike him?

I wouldn't want to hear the answer, anyway. Spain is a pedophile. Much like France. Maybe the reason for their friendship.

Why do you enjoy watching – _you know_ – so much? And spying on us, as if we're secretly doing activities like that?

WH-WHAT? HOW DID THAT FROG GET HERE, AND WHAT FOR? I'll go have the Royal Guards do their _job_... -grumbles-

F-fine, you _want_ to hear it that bad? _Fine._

I like America.

Th-there... I bloody s-said it.

England


	111. Calixte 1

Dear England,

Hi, I'm from Malaysia, a former colony of yours, ^^. What I want to say is  
>that while all the other people are out there hating you for taking their<br>land, I want to thank you for having your rule over Malaysia once. Although  
>Malaysia hated you, I greatly appreciate the modern developments you brought<br>to my country.

Also, I love how the people of your country are so diverse! Is it true one can  
>find many different sort of foods in your house? I've seen some of your<br>castles through the net and I. Am. In. Awe! I feel they have an air of  
>mysticism. Plus, I wish I could see mystical creatures like you, it would be<br>so wonderful. My dad told me that fish and chips is a peasant's dish, how true  
>is that to you? And could you elaborate on the history behind this dish?<br>Lastly, I love tea, as in really really really love tea. I love the way the  
>aroma floats to my brains, so relaxing. Can you recommend to me some good tea<br>brands? ( the ones in bought by my parents taste like p***) I usually take boh  
>tea. Also, I don't understand the craze for coffee, I feel it's awfully bitter<br>and tastes disgusting (no offense coffee drinkers). Care to explain?

I know a lot of people like to comment on your love life (lolz, America) and  
>you always avoid the subject (lolz again), but I just want to tell you in my<br>humble opinion that if you keep doing that, they're just gonna assume(sp?) the  
>worst (to you) and the ball will keep on rolling. Unless you actually love<br>America and won't deny anything * narrows eyes*

Sincerely,

Calixte

PS: I love your sarcastic sense of humour

* * *

><p>Calixte,<p>

Really? That's an interesting compliment. Thank you nonetheless; my empire _indeed was_ great and powerful. In a way, if it weren't for me existing, all of my former colonies wouldn't be the way they are now. France or Spain (who both wanted the whole world back then) would have probably conquered them instead, and wouldn't _that_ be wonderful?

Indeed it's true. There's plenty of different peoples in my country, most notably from India, who used to be under my control as well. Funnily enough, people from my other former territories live here as well. Recently, a flux of Polish immigrants have come in; from other Slavic nations too. Our food will be impacted by that. And it _all _tastes _very_ good, by the way! ...unlike what others say.

Our castles are still used by monarchy; perhaps that is what is so appealing. _Another_ person who believes? _Where_ are you all in the real world?

Fish and chips! Delicious! Your father is right; it was lower-class food. Back in the Industrial Revolution, people needed something quick and cheap to eat. A food that solved this problem was fish, common then because of trawl fishing, and chips, easy to prepare yet good in taste. Fried fish originated in Britain, but the frogs across the Channel invented the chips, but it was someone from _my_ country who decided putting them together would be a suitable meal for the busy, working, common people. The fact that it's a 'peasant's dish' does not alter my opinion of it, nor should it to yours.

Tea is the most_ wonderful _drink out there! I agree, coffee is _atrocious_. Worst drink I've ever had the displeasure to take. As for brands, my favourite is perhaps the Great British Tea Company's teas. Not to mention their greatly patriotic name makes me proud. I don't know if they sell their teas in Malaysia, however. Just in case, I've sent a little box of their Earl Grey tea.

Ialreadyadmittedthatahaha! So, uh, farewellandallyesbye.

England


	112. America 7

Arthur,

Dude, thanks for the amazing night. I'm glad we talked it over and...I can't  
>believe you liked me the entire time. I wish you told me that before I left you. I would have said yes. Also about your letter you responded to new York, I thought you were drop dead sexy.<p>

Once again, you're hero.

(ps, when we were walking outside, did you see someone in the bushes? I could  
>have sworn I heard giggling and a video camera)<p>

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

A-ah, weeell, uh, so I did, and then you, after, um, er... so, uh, yes.

W-wait, _what? _New York _showed_ you my... l-letter I wrote to her? A-and, uh, thanks, I... s-suppose.

. . .

-twitch-

_Hungaryyy!_

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So USUK has been established now ouo Yey~ Yet no matter what, it seems, England's just not going to get over his embarrassed stuttery self. **


	113. Russia 2

Silly England,

You are thinking that I don't like you, that is a lie. As a gentleman, you  
>shouldn't be so foul mouthed. One day, you will see that capitalism is evil<br>and only by becoming one with me will you be better off.

Ah! But the Baltics _do_ belong to me. They are just too shy to tell  
>everyone. Don't you see how they tremble with excitement when they see me? You<br>do, da? I protected them, I never hurt them. Hopefully you will see my side

Maybe with the vodka I sent you, you will see that I can make you happier than  
>the American idiot.<p>

More Later,

Russia

P.S: STOP SUMMONING ME! One day, I will be in the shower when that happens and  
>you will not like what you see. Or maybe you will...kolkolkol...<p>

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

For the last time, wanker, no one wants to 'become one' with you. That's just a poorly feigned attempt at getting everyone to shag you, anyway, isn't it? My government is just fine being capitalist. Go bail out Belarus, won't you? I'm sure _she'll_ be happy to join you and your barmy self.

Oh yes, _such_ excitement! So terribly happy to see you, that they stutter and stammer and avoid eye contact. The marks of a _great_ 'friendship'. You're _mad_...

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH YOU, YOU BLOODY RUSSKIE. AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO SNEAK_ VODKA _THROUGH THE MAIL?

England

P.S. I DON'T! You just bloody _show up!_ I summon evil mystical creatures capable of great destruc – oh, _shite_.


	114. British Columbia 9

Well... I suppose we're back to square one, then. I guess that's okay, as  
>long as we don't backstab each other.<p>

Oh? OH. THAT ACID RAIN. I hear Uncle Al has problems with that in some places  
>too... It sounds unpleasant.<p>

The deed is done. Letter's burned and I'll stay quiet if you do. Okay?

I... R-really? Well... O-okay. Thanks... I guess I'm still kind of  
>disappointed you don't really like it, but... I appreciate the kind words.<br>Honestly, it looks almost... pixie-ish on me. I don't think it makes me look  
>TOO much like a guy...<p>

Love you,

Lyra

PS. Mama Haida said I should send you a picture of me in the dress so you can  
>see it, so here. Burn that photo after you've seen it. And, uh... Now that<br>you've seen it... Is my hair really all that bad...?

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

Gentleman's word. What sort of _person_ do you think I am to break a promise like that?

That's probably a consequence of the toxic globs of food he consumes. I _knew_ those hamburgers weren't made of meat, but did he listen? _Nooo_. So he's fat now.

Alright.

A-actually, your haircut _doesn't _look bad. It... suits you. I remember you being _a lot_ smaller, though. The dress looks absolutely _stunning _on you. The Duchess of Cambridge chose well. It will be a shame to burn this photograph, but if you really don't want anyone over here to see how splendid you look in a dress, I will oblige.

England


	115. New York 3

Dear England,

How can you say that! Yaoi is essential in my life!

I get no love from my siblings. It's sorta sad. :( But don't be mad about NYC.  
>I get people from everywhere. It's good to know it still popular.<p>

I wouldn't *REALLY* obliterate my brothers. I depend on Jersey more then most  
>people know.<p>

*glares* I know I sound old. Don't tease, it's not nice!

No, we are not *ALL* secret drinkers. In fact, Dad's favorite way to punish me  
>is no parties!<p>

By the way, the party sucked, no good music,drinks sucked, the whole 9-yards .  
>I'm actually writing this in Central Park. It's nice here, and warm. *sigh*<br>When you come to visit Dad, you should stop by. There's this nice little  
>"castle" here. Nothing like what you have, but it's good.<p>

Hey, I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. What do you think about a lion on my  
>shoulder (cause I'm a Leo). Or maybe I should just my belly-button pierced.<br>Hum, decisions, decisions.

Ok, I'm gonna go get something done!

Love,

Elena "New York" Jones.

P.S: You know, I'm excepting letters now! You should write me!

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

If you want to talk about –er,_ that_ – go see Hungary.

Well, you can't really depend on 'family' if you want to be successful as a country/state/province/whatever title applies. You never know if they'll secretly be plotting your downfall behind you, wanting to poison you or your king, practising magic to use against you. You have to depend on your_ own_ self. That's _really_ how you get places.

Trust me, the thought of killing them will cross your mind at a certain point.

What _great _parenting techniques, America...

Why do you go out to party to have a good time? Certainly, there's better, less dangerous ways? Because I believe your crime rates are, well, not _that_ low. Even if we cannot die, it's not exactly _fun_ to be caught up in an assault or robbery or the like.

America doesn't have _castles! _The ones at Disneyland _hardly_ count. But there isn't a Disney theme park in New York as far as I know, unless those greedy corporations decided to spread there.

I'm not your father, so I don't have a say on this. Personally, I disapprove. Ask him, instead.

England

P.S. If I have the time, I shall. I'm... sort of busy at the present moment.


	116. Madrid 11

Señor Inglaterra,

I've not the faintest idea. I first heard it in Alaska, so it could be derived  
>from the Russian language, a bit like 'ma sha' is a Cajun phrase derived from<br>the French 'mon cher.'

America has such an intriguing culture, but it's quite bizarre.

Fanny has a bad meaning in America, too, but it's nowhere near as bad as it is  
>in England.<p>

That is why I'm glad I learned the Queen's English instead of the strange,  
>Americanized English. I hate when an American city yells at me for not putting<br>a comma in a certain spot. It usually leads to me trying to explain that I  
>learned different grammar while they just look at me like I'm strange, decide<br>to look up the differences and test me.

Canada talks. You just have to listen for him. Sometimes it's like he just  
>materializes.<p>

Child? Oh, I'd not know. Enrique's worth it, I think. I'll be sad when he  
>dies. He's a good friend.<p>

Wasn't there an electrical fire on Sealand recently? It would be 'on,'  
>correct?<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Ugh, _Cajuns_. I highly dislike them. The French are bad enough, mix it with the pompousness of Americans, and you have people who just may be worse than frog-face.

Bizarre, indeed.

Really? So they even change the meaning of_ that? _-rolls eyes- Americans really try to separate themselves from the world to appear brilliant and original, don't they? But instead they rob of us of what _we_ created and slightly modify it, but pretend_ they_ came up with it...

Ignore them. If anything, _they're_ breaking the rules, because _we_ came up with English, damn it! British English should be taught instead of the Americanised version. Ours actually makes sense. And I've had many comments on how our grammar simply _looks_ better.

...or he simply _vanishes_. God, I really feel bad for him sometimes. And I am sometimes envious of how peaceful his country is. You really never hear about Canadian wars, conflicts – nothing about him, really, unless it's actually _good _news.

Yes, Sealand had a fire recently. It was some tower. Ha, he _deserved _it for being such a pest, declaring himself a _nation_ -scoff- How immature and childish he can be.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I didn't answer the 'in or on' question because I myself have always had trouble distinguishing the difference between them Dx I'm pretty sure both forms would have been correct there, though.**

**Disclaimer: I don't hate Cajuns. My best friend is one. And even though he can be an idiot, he's _my_ idiot xD Haha.**


	117. Golden Horde 1

Greetings, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

My name is Batu Akhmanov-Braginski, and I'm also known as the Golden Horde,  
>the nation that invaded most of Eastern Europe. I'm currently a part of Russia<br>as a result of Ivan's invasion of the Khanate of Kazan, who was my son. I like  
>to drink a lot of tea and I like to bake some desserts, though I'm afraid I<br>can't share some with you, since Dad Mongolia had food poisoning from one of  
>the scones he tried in London.<p>

Can I ask you a question? Would locking up a certain Frenchman with a knife  
>obsessed Belarusian be a good idea? I'm starting to get a bit crazier from<br>spending time with Hungary. She's nice, but recently I got stuck in a  
>crossfire with her against Romania. Moreover, Dad Mongolia and his armies had<br>to chase him around because he was caught running naked across Europe while I  
>was supposed to meet with Feliciano.<p>

Golden Horde

* * *

><p>Golden Horde,<p>

Thank you for greeting me formally. Not many do that.

Ah, I've heard of you. Your leaders and people were quite a terror. Er, you're part of Russia? That's... um. Unfortunate.

F-f-food poisoning? My scones ta-taste just _fine! _Surely, it was... something _else_ h-he ate that caused him to fall sick! Ahahaha...

That... is one of the most _excellent _ideas I've ever heard of! Feel free to pursue making it happen.

Oh dear, there seems to be a lot of trouble in the Balkan region lately...

England


	118. Ely 7

England,

Huzzah! There's plenty more where THAT came from, sir. *smiles*

But the Hubble telescope can only go so far. We haven't been able to  
>actually see into other galaxies. Besides, what if those aliens are smart<br>enough to cloak themselves from our "advanced" technology?

That you are, sir! I'm taking music history and I smile at any facts that  
>trace back to you.<p>

I wholeheartedly agree. Autotuning and pop music in general is just losing all  
>respectability as genuine music. And of course drums count. Sounds to me like<br>you're a full-fledged rocker. ;)

I knew it sounded like a drunkard's tune! And to think America STOLE it from  
>YOU… Wow. I… don't know what to say. My apologies.<p>

But the Romantic Era focused more on emotional expression vs. romantic love…  
>Though I must admit I am very emotional. I think I may have been born during<br>the Romantic era and reborn again in this one. Do you believe in rebirth?

Well, I try to imagine what it would be like to live as a nation. I can't  
>really imagine it too well or what kind of country I would personify. I<br>unfortunately think, however, I would be ruled by someone else. =( That brings  
>me to another question. If you HAD to choose to be ANOTHER country, which<br>would you choose to be?

~Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

But surely we would have found something? Take a look at biomes here on Earth. You can't walk a great distance without finding life of _some_ sort, no matter how big or small. That has yet to happen in space. Not even something as meager as bacteria.

My music _is_ quite popular. _True_ rock is from Britain, so I suppose that's why I identify with it. Thanks. But the guitar is more interesting to use when wanting to impress others, ahaha.

_Exactly_. Now if only others found out about America's anthem origins, I think their jingoist patriotism would decrease... nininini... wouldn't that be _great?_

No, I do not believe in rebirth. Perhaps simply your ancestors' likings were that of those that became popular during the Romantic Era, and that has retained throughout the generations.

Well, I assume there's a personification for every nation already. Then there's states and cities. Micronations don't count. So unfortunately you wouldn't be a nation that already exists. I think every nation in the world has at one point been ruled by another. It's like we took turns being in control of each other.

If I had to be another country? I would rather be _no_ nation than another one. I like being... _myself_. I wouldn't have it any other way.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well all the Asian nations (except Japan and China) have yet to appear, but they've been designed :( **

**Pfft, that is an argument that would probably happen xD (English horn is better *cough*) **

**Ha, well if you want to know how I found Hetalia: So I read this website called Cracked. It's brilliant; you should all go read it~ Basically they have humor articles and such, and one of them was '9 Beloved Characters Made Horrifying by Japan.' And in spot #2 was 'World Nations'- namely, Hetalia took that honor. But I actually liked the concept and thought it'd be funny, so I looked it up... and got hooked. Bahaha.**


	119. Belize 15

Papi,

Gracias.

O-okay, but please be careful.

Okay Papi, I'll leave if I need to. Carlos is really scary when he's in this  
>mode...<p>

Okay, you tell him that.

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

...he didn't come. Odd. Probably got frightened by the fact I'm a former pirate and _maaaybe _delinquent. I could outmatch him _easily_.

But that doesn't matter, because this means I _win!_ Hahaha! He's scared of me! That was expected~!

England


	120. Serbia 10

England

We're only related because of the Serbs. I hate it with a passion. It's kind  
>of hard to ignore him anywhere with Belarus stalking him at every moment and<br>that irritating demand to "Become one with Mother Russia".

I've been searching for British beer here in Belgrade. So far, nothing. I  
>would have expected that the larger liquor stores would have it. There's<br>enough vodka and French wine to go around, but your beer doesn't even seem to  
>exist. I'll keep looking later.<p>

You? Getting attacked? Some countries must think we've gone long enough  
>without war. Now I don't even have my Balkan brothers with me. Fighting in a<br>large country could disrupt my trade routes. Russia's coming over (again) in  
>about a week, so I'm trying to keep the house looking neat and buying enough<br>vodka to satisfy him. He likes to come early and stay late. He drinks more  
>than eats. Vodka for breakfast, lunch, dinner, afternoon snack, and midnight<br>snack. The more he drinks, the weirder he gets.

I finished _Twelfth Night_ and _Much Ado About Nothing_ last night.  
>Too much stress has been keeping me up more at night. They're quite amusing to<br>read.

It's sibling rivalry! When Yugoslavia existed, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro,  
>Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovnia, and I all lived in my house. We happily<br>modeled ourselves after the Soviet Union. That was my idea. Then, they all  
>left me. Visiting my family in a creepy way and reminding them of some of the<br>less than happy events in our history provides a bit of relief from my own  
>political shit. Maybe I remind them that they're always welcome to rejoin me<br>in my house. They probably think I'm going to invade them and forcefully make  
>them live in my house. It's not such a bad idea regarding Montenegro, but I<br>have more important things to worry about than making my family reunite.

Russia's political reasons are dodgy. I don't even know why he insisted on  
>visiting me this week. He claimed that they were for 'political reasons' and<br>'family-bonding', but I seriously doubt that. I can talk with him all I want  
>at the UN. Our bosses are on really good terms, so there's not a whole lot I<br>can do.

I need a drink and more vodka. If my next letter to you is completely  
>incoherent and in Serbian, then just ignore it.<p>

Србија (Serbia)

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

Having a good foreign policy with Belarus should keep him away, then. I might have to start looking into that; perhaps then he'll stop asking me that 'become one with me' nonsense, too.

Wh-what? _French wine_ is there, but not _British beer? _The whole world's gone mad! Our beer exists and is_ quite_ popular! You must _at least_ have British tea, r-right?

The Central American countries always seem to be at unrest, and the majority hold grudges against me, so it's not exactly an act of war, but an act of wanting to remove me from existence. So far, they haven't showed up, so I assume I scared them all the way across the pond, hahaha!

But why do you let Russia come? It's probably all about him wanting you to 'become one' with him. Vodka also seems to be an item he likes to use for, er, _persuasion_... serving him all he can drink might turn out worse than leaving him alcohol-deprived.

_Much Ado About Nothing_ is one of my favourites, as is _A Midsummer Night's Dream._ You should read the latter, as you haven't yet and it is an enjoyable read.

...er, that sounds terribly like Russia's actions, either way. Just because you might see it as a nonviolent way of getting them back might not mean the same for them.

Visiting you for pol-?

. . .

Run, Serbia..._ run!_

England


	121. Valencia 10

England

That's not what I've heard of him. I thought he wanted to marry you~~ And that  
>you even began to sign... Lalalalala...<p>

It's because those words did not follow the rule, so they've been changed.

And I don't understand America's slang so, yes, I prefer your way :)

Valencia

* * *

><p>HE BLOODY GRABBED MY HAND AND <em>FORCED <em>ME TO SIGN! But at the end, I managed to scribble all over it and void it! Besides, it was simply because he didn't want to get killed by his boss -scoff- I would have probably _helped_ the man murder that frog!

That's still ridiculous, to completely change a language. It will take a while for it to be customary to write it the new way.

I don't think any one does understand that rubbish. Mine is _perfectly_ understandable.

Oh, and thanks. _Most_ of the world does, haha!

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Dude, that sucks D:**

**And is England getting a little cocky~?**


	122. Hungary 14

England,

Oh like your's was so much better. At least no one threw birds at my head.

I make it a point to be able to insult everyone in their native toungue. I'm  
>still working on Chinese and Spanish though. Apparently it is but really, it<br>still isn't THAT hard.

I think it represents the Gorges du Tarn. Me and Romano plan on shaving it  
>off.<p>

No, I wasn't being completely sarcastic. I did love him it's just...things  
>got...-um, how do I put it...uncomfortable? difficult? after we were married.<br>Yeah, that's it. Also I still don't hate him it's just right now he's still  
>being a stiff, trying to get me to act lady-like.<p>

Hey, you take that back. Antonio is awesome! Always so jolly and care free,  
>and tan and,...Spanish-y.<p>

Why do I enjoy watching it? Well it's not simply the acts, you get to see  
>relationships form. I like to watch straight couples bond too you know. Silly<br>man. Also, you wouldn't believe some of the things I catch other countries  
>doing.<p>

In fact, I'm setting up an underground black-mail syndicate with some choice  
>nations. Hehee~<p>

Also, how do you think I get my material for Hungarian video torrture? Yeah.

Dunno how he did, just know he got there.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~

Ow! Damn it! Excuse me...

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

At least_ I_ wasn't groped by Prussia or ogled by Prussia. Seems he's the cause for most of your troubles, hmm?

Well that's a _lovely_ ambitious goal. That might be because it's your _own_ language, so that's unfair. I'll gladly applaud you when you succeed at insulting frog-face, but since you're working on Spanish, I will also congratulate you when you slander Spain.

It actually _represents something?_ Better shave it off, indeed! Ruin his tourism... nininini...

Ah, I see. And he's not 'being a stiff', he's acting courteously. Open your eyes so you may for once recognise a _gentleman_, Elizaveta.

Spain is a pain in the arse, and I have proof. Look at his name. Remove the letter s and you get 'pain'. The letter s sounds like the American's way of saying 'arse'. So _quite literally_, that insult applies to him!

That's _disgusting_ and incredibly corny. I_ really _don't think I would believe it... ugh. A black-mail syn-

...oh, God. _Too much information_...

Sh-shut up, you! And what the hell, _you hurt yourself?_

England


	123. Japan 2

Asa-san,

I must thank you for reading my letter. You are very kind on continuing it  
>when it served no meaningful purpose to.. you. Ah... please excuse me for that<br>letter. I was having a lot on my mind, although I understand that is no real  
>excuse. The fact that you took the time to reply makes me.. extremely..<br>gratified.

Please excuse my words before. I am sure it had no real meaning for you nor  
>could it bring you benefits. Especially.. at my current.. Excuse me, but let<br>me address the other areas your letter in the mean time.

Please do not waste you feelings fretting over me! I am well enough. Thank you  
>for being worried over my well being. I am sure I will be able to overcome it.<br>My pride as a Japanese person will hold me up and let me move onwards.

I too, am very proud of my people. But sad at the same time. It was due to me  
>being overconfident.. It aches my heart that I was a huge cause for that<br>incident.. I feel so weak not being able to do anything.. Even now..

Asa-san, I.. Do you think.. you could...

Perhaps we could move away from this topic?

Please excuse my loss of sense in that letter! I cannot excuse my weak frame  
>of mind for falling to such forward lengths! I am embarrassed.. Ah! I am being<br>too forward still! Forgive my incompetency, but allow me to end this letter  
>here.<p>

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

Er, alright. But it's still slightly worrying, how you're acting.

...Japan, seriously, what's with you? I know you don't like to worry others about yourself, but overcome your humble modesty for once.

The incident was the second worst nuclear accident, only after Chernobyl. D'you really think I'm going to let that slip by? No. If you need any help, feel free to ask. As one of my friends, it would be an honour to help you. It's been three months; you_ deserve_ foreign aid. I sent some rescuers and supplies to you during the earthquake but I'm thinking that wasn't enough...

It wasn't your fault. Just because you're a nation doesn't mean _you_ are the cause of every problem there. And it will be fixed, as everything eventually is. It will probably take a while, but you'll see.

_Japan_. Answer my question, will you? Don't try to evade it again. Keeping everything to yourself will only worsen things.

England


	124. Washington DC 11

Iggy,

But-but it's FUN to mentally disturb you~!

Nope, definitely happened. Well I'm glad you did, I never even knew you could  
>speak in Japanese. They're all catchy and shit. So much so that dad made some<br>too. And then France has two, Italy, Romano, Spain, Germany, Prussia, Russia  
>has two, China has two, Japan has two, and they're all awesome and shiz. Mp3<br>player material right there~ :3

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Aleckis,<p>

...not in the_ receiving _end.

I know other languages other than English, so I can better communicate with the others in their own tongue. And I _did_ spend some time with Japan back when we had the Anglo-Japanese Alliance; learning Japanese then was a nice option and signified our friendship.

Oth-others have their_ own _songs?

I_ really_ don't want to know...

England


	125. Belize 16

E-eh P-Papi?

Y-you're kind of w-wrong on that o-one... I-I was g-going to the a-airport and  
>s-someone put t-this cloth on my n-nose and I passed out!<p>

N-Now I'm in this creepy room and I-I think I was kidnapped! T-these people  
>are guarding the r-room. I-I asked who they worked for... but t-they won't<br>tell me! They look like they're from a gang!

P-please help me...

Belize

* * *

><p>What the <em>hell? <em>El Salvador's problem is with me, not you!

Belize, show this letter to whoever is holding you captive. If they don't safely release you at once, I_ will _attack El Salvador. Mark my words, for I am the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland! You will _all _lose to me!

I'll-I'll find you, don't worry!

England


	126. El Salvador 1

Hola Inglaterra...

This is El Salvador. I have your son right now. You are to come to this  
>address attached to this letter. This will only be hand to hand combat. No<br>swords, no guns, no nothing. Unless you want me to brutally hurt Belize, I  
>suggest you come within the next 3 hours. No calling the police either, or<br>telling anyone about this. I have spies all around your area. If I find out  
>that you have violated any of my rules, then Belize is going to die.<p>

gang!El Salvador

* * *

><p>El Salvador, you sick bastard! He's your own <em>brother<em>, and you're willing to _hurt him?_ I thought all of you Central Americans prided yourselves in being close. What joke.

This_ isn't _a matter the other should know about, wanker.

Prepare to face the wrath of the great British Empire, you arsehole!

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Narked= Pissed off**


	127. Valencia 11

Inglaterra~~

What Francia told me sounded more interesting than that. It would be bad for  
>you if that story arrived to Hungría's ears~~ But relax, I don't go talking<br>about your life (and France's) and about your.. LITTLE problem that made  
>France dump you u.u (He said that~~)<p>

And well, it's only two words. Not a big deal. The other things that have  
>changed are only optional :D<p>

Nah, most of the world prefer Chinese or Spanish. Hahah

Love~~~~

Valencia

* * *

><p>I NEVER BLOODY DATED FRANCE! Are you really going to believe what that smelly wanker says, or <em>my <em>words? He's_ slandering _me! Just because he has some sort of attraction to me does _not _mean it's returned! That bastard can rot in hell!

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry to all innocent letter-senders, but you'll have to face England's mood, too ):**


	128. Ely 8

England,

Leave it to a centuries-old man to outsmart a poor 20 year old girl… from  
>America. =(<p>

Yes. I agree. Guitarists are just so much sexier. *drools a little*

Ni… Did you just make a Monty Python reference? And I honestly think  
>Americans would twist that fact around sort of how you twisted mine trying to<br>prove aliens (don't) exist. One way or another, they will try to downgrade  
>your drinking song and say Americans were geniuses for Americanizing it and<br>putting American-ly awesome lyrics to fawn over America.

Well… I suppose. I've always hated not knowing how far my roots go. I  
>asked my mom who my great-great-great grandparents were but she only knows her<br>own grandparents and that's it. As far as I know, I can only trace back to  
>Mexico and El Salvador… but part of me feels that I must have Spanish blood<br>in me too. I mean, Spain conquered much of Latin America… I feel it makes  
>sense that I may trace back to a Spanish soldier knocking up one of my<br>ancestors. *deep in thought* For all I know I could even be related to your  
>people! HAHA! A girl can dream.<p>

Who were you ruled by, sir?

Aww. That's a nice way to show confidence… Sort of. But really, there  
>isn't any country in particular you're fond of? *nudge nudge, wink wink*<p>

~Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

See, my logic makes _perfect_ sense. Aliens are a ridiculous idea. Flying Mint Bunny agrees. You don't want your mind to be tainted by such atrocities as that of aliens_ existing_ -scoff-

Er. O-okay.

...maybe I did. And yes, they already do. Have you not seen how excited Americans will get during any sport event? They chant 'USA' as if we need to be reminded of where they live. 'United States of America'? Try 'Unbelievably Stupid Arseholes'. This applies to most Americans, but you are a clear exemption.

In that case, you probably have Spanish ancestry. _Knock up? _Oh, yes, I forget that means to impregnate in America. Here it means to wake someone up or to make something out of what is readily available. See what I mean about American butchering of our language? No, you're probably not related to anyone from the UK; I've never liked Spain much and I didn't colonise Mexico or El Salvador. Sorry.

I... won't go into details.

StopreferencingAmerica; Ialreadyadmittedit!

England


	129. Madrid 12

Señor Inglaterra,

I can barely keep up with them when they speak. It's like talking to Moscow.  
>It lead to quite a few awkward moments.<p>

Si. What's worse, the American meaning is not too different from the English  
>meaning. If they're going to change things around, they should at least think<br>outside of the box.

I'd be acting rude if I ignored them. It's times like those when I wish I  
>could borrow Papa's axe from his days as un conquistador and take the broad<br>side to their heads. I agree. It looks much nicer and is easier to follow, I  
>think.<p>

That's so much worse. I feel like I'm being really rude when I look up and ask  
>where he went even though he never left. Why can't we all be like Canada?<br>Okay, I'll admit, I like my Spanish culture, but it'd be nicer if it were more  
>peaceful.<p>

Technically, he can't be called a country, now that sovereignty has extended  
>to twelve miles off the English coast. If his population were to increase,<br>he'd be a small town at best. With his population as is, perhaps he'd be a  
>very tiny municipality.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

They're related to _France_. Don't even talk to them.

The meanings are complete opposites; that's _so_ original. I am unaware if Americans can think _at all_.

-sigh- All in all, Americans are an annoying people, but they do supply a great deal of tourism here, as they do in Spain. So we must deal with them face-to-face, but when their backs are turned, we insult them as we please. Ahaha.

Maybe because he grew up in America's shadow. I remember when America was little and he had a brother – it was Canada, right? It _should_ have been... but anyway, I recall seeing this blurry shadow and I thought I was going mad, but America would come crying to me about seeing a ghost (I assume this lead to his fear of the paranormal), so I knew it wasn't just me. And then – er. Uh, then... um, where was I going with this? I forgot. Bollocks.

He _isn't_ a nation; he likes to _call _himself one, which gets on my nerves.

England


	130. Valencia 12

England,

Tch, Tch... Where's the gentleman? ;)

Believe France or you? Let's call it even. France is France and you are the  
>man who made España's life Hell. Not that I hold a grudge against you but...<br>THAT STORY WAS SO GOOD!

And, France lives in France. That means he lives in Hell (in your opinion, at  
>least xD)<p>

Love

Valencia

* * *

><p><em>Damn manners!<em> When I'm being _slandered_, I defend myself! France is a dog-hole! And _what_ bloody story?

France IS Hell.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Mood swings much, Iggy?**

**Also, 'France is a dog-hole' is a quote from one of Shakespeare's plays. For reals, y'all! **


	131. Guatemala 1

Inglaterra,

This is Guatemala. Belize got kidnapped, which you probably know already.

Now I don't normally like associating with you, but I want to make sure mi  
>hermano comes home safely. When El Salvador gets pissed off, he becomes as<br>ruthless as his gangs. He becomes I say we work together to  
>make sure mi hermano gets home safely.<p>

Badass!Guatemala

* * *

><p><em>Of course<em> I did, Guatemala. I'm assuming responsibility already, off to beat the bloody pulp out of El Salvador.

D'you think I like _you? _Hell no. But I'll cooperate with you and be my best to be civil, but if your manners are anything like _lovely_ little Nicaragua's, it will be difficult.

Narked!England


	132. El Salvador 2

I have no siblings. They may say that but I don't.

Oh, going for the insults now, I see? How pathetic.

Oh,I heard you contacted Nica. Bad move, Inglaterra.

Again, with the insults.. I should just shoot you right now.

Gang!El Salvador

* * *

><p>Trying to shield yourself from reality, are you? Pitiful.<p>

Your yearn for a victory is _pathetic_.

Your eminent loss will be _delicious_.

It was _your _bloody bad move to kidnap someone as innocent as Belize. Any force required to beat you will be applied; be _assured _of that. No matter how horrid it may be.

You really are worthless.

I could say the same, wanker. I'm more industralised, civilised, and wealthier than you. You're fighting a losing battle.

Narked!England


	133. New York 4

Dear England,

I do talk to Hungary about that. In fact, she sent me a very interesting video  
>of you and my dad. What was that all about?<p>

I pretty sure no one is plooting my downfall Iggy. I can do a lot of stuff  
>myself, if you haven't noticed. Did you miss New York City? Hello, me.<p>

Killing them. California first. Girl never shuts up! God, she's annoying!

Hey, America does have great parenting skills! We all turned out just fine,  
>thank you very much. I guess he learned them from you.<p>

I go out because, for a little bit, I'm not New York. I'm just Elena, another  
>girl looking to have a good time.<p>

HEY! I'm have of the safest cities in the country, thank you very much. And I  
>know how not fun it is. I've been in the middle of an assault before. Never<br>killed thought.

Thank got there isn't a Disney theme park here. Those things are annoying. I  
>have enough people here, thank you very much!<p>

I actually decided on getting both, thank you very much.

Hey, Jersey finaly took me to see the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I  
>have to ask, what was with the wigs dude? Hey, weren't you a pirate once?<p>

Ok, I'm going now. Jersey cooked dinner. Please pray for me. He cooks even  
>worse then you!<p>

Love,

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: I'm sending you some wine with this letter. I have extra. enjoy!

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

N-nothing! Stop bloody asking such things!

That's because you aren't a _nation_. _We're_ the ones who have to be on the constant lookout because _some_ psycho out there is always wanting to kill you or those you know.

I don't mean to _actually_ kill them; the thought will simply cross your mind. Instead, conquer them. Invade them. Claim them as yours. They won't be able to leave... never ever... nininini...

Your idea of a 'good time' is preposterous and _stupid_. Just because you cannot die does not mean you should do things that, to a human, would get them killed – either quickly or over an amount of time (namely, activities such as drinking or doing drugs). I doubt your '_parties_' take place in good, reliable places but in areas where the people who comprise it are dodgy and get in trouble with the law often. _Avoid_ that.

Yes, I was a pirate once. The history in those movies is atrocious. Don't believe anything they show you there; ask me, as you have. The wigs were simply what was popular then and seen as a social status.

You're getting _both_? How _smart _and definitely _not_ regrettable. Does America even know?

And my c-cooking isn't _that_ bad!

I also don't drink wine; it reminds me of damn France.

Scornful!England


	134. France 1

Mon cher Angleterre,

I 'ave finally found out about zis letter-writing campaign of yours. Vy did  
>you not tell me about it? Surely you vere not attempting to avoid me, mon<br>petit lapin...but it is no matter. Ve often try to push away zose zat ve care  
>for. Honhonhonhonhon...<p>

In any case, it is a good idea for you to improve your international  
>relations, Angleterre. Per'aps you can finally make a friend, or at least find<br>someone who can stand to be in your unrefined, unromantic presence, zough zis  
>does seem about as likely as you learning to cook edible food, non? (Mon Dieu,<br>ven I start to think of your culture I am always so happy zat I am not you.)

Angleterre, your latest letter to Valencia only shows me that you are in  
>denial...after all, vy are you getting so defensive? I know zat there is no<br>way zat you have forgotten all zat has happened between us. Your words did not  
>hurt my heart, 'owever, since, unlike you, I know about l'amour, and how it<br>makes us act in strange vays. I also know you too...intimately to not know zat  
>you alvays try to hurt ze ones you love the most. So I must have a very<br>special place in your heart. Honhonhon...

Vell, I must go cook myself a fabulous French meal now, so adieu!

P.S. Ze next time Amerique comes over to your house, 'ungary and I plan to hop  
>over ze Channel and install cameras around ze premises of your 'ouse in case<br>something 'appens between you.

It should be fun to see your pretty little blushing visage, non?

* * *

><p>WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE <em>YOU<em> DOING WRITING TO ME, FROG? GEE, I WONDER WHY I _WOULDN'T_ TELL MY _MOST HATED ENEMY_ THAT I WAS WRITING TO OTHERS TO STRENGTHEN POLITICAL RELATIONS! _SPLENDID_ IDEA, INFORMING YOU DAMN LECH OF THIS! WERE YOU STALKING ME, BASTARD?

I DON'T BLOODY LIKE YOU, EITHER! MAYBE I PUSH YOU AWAY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET _RAPED_ BY YOU! EVER THOUGHT OF _THAT_, FRANCE? PROBABLY NOT, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT _CAPABLE_ OF THINKING!

I'M BETTER THAN YOU, SO SHUT YOUR FROGGY MOUTH! IF PEOPLE CAN'T STAND ME, WHAT LEAVES _YOU_, YOU DAMN SMELLY, LECHEROUS, HAIRY, DRESS-WEARING, ANNOYING, FUCKING UGLY FROG? AT LEAST I _HAVE_ FRIENDS!

I. DON'T. BLOODY. _LIKE YOU!_ GET THIS OVER YOUR DAFT, THICK HEAD! _NOTHING _HAS EVER HAPPENED BETWEEN US. _NOTHING_.

DON'T WRITE TO ME AGAIN, DON'T SPY ON AMERICA AND ME, AND GO FUCK YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT'S THE _ONLY_ TYPE OF SEX YOU'LL EVER GET FROM ANYBODY.

GOT IT,_ FROG?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Abuse of the caps lock button! I thought you did pretty good as France, actually xD Thanks for the compliment~ they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside c:**


	135. Hungary 15

England,

You shut up. Now.

It is. Unfair? Well, I don't care. It really isnt has hard as people make it  
>out to be, damn.<p>

Je suis sûr que le français est déjà en baisse au point où je peux  
>l'insulte jusqu'à ce qu'il pleure, donner ou prendre certaines erreurs.<br>Cependant vous ne pouvez pas être permis de voir que, parce que vous êtes un  
>droit trou du cul maintenant.<p>

Yeah it does. Hehee! me and Romano are sneeking into Francis's house to do so  
>right now.<p>

OH? By making me that damn silent, perfectly manucured, proper, motherly,  
>obedient SZOLGA? Sure, because making someone be who they aren't is so<br>gentelmanly. Maybe thats why you two can relate.

...You realise that's only his name in YOUR language? In his own its Espana,  
>and that has PAN in it.<p>

...Disgusting, Hm? Well, I owuld like to think it would flatter the couple.

I'm sure you and your stuttering agree~

Hmhmhmm...Now what to do with this tape...

I was eating pancakes and bit the inside of my cheek is what happened.

Thee Taaapeee~

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>HUNGARY, WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU CONSPIRING WITH FRANCE?<p>

DON'T LIE, EITHER. I RECEIVED HIS LETTER.

IF YOU DO ANYTHING PUBLIC WITH ANY TAPES WITH ME IN THEM, _I WILL_ _END YOU AND FRANCE,_ SO HELP ME GOD.

Narked!England


	136. Serbia 11

Артур Киркланд

Someone broke into my study earlier today while I was out hunting down British  
>beer and found the last few letters on my desk. My boss told me that I can<br>keep writing to you as long as I use a more human name. The people don't know  
>I exist and Tadic wants it to stay that way.<p>

I _finally _found some British beer. It was expensive, but I found it. It  
>tastes different than vodka-not nearly so strong. I haven't passed out yet<br>either, so that's good, I suppose. I've had British tea. I'm not a big tea  
>drinker, but it good in the winter. I don't think I could devote an entire<br>meal to it though. Chinese tea isn't that bad either.

Central America. Those people always seem to have one thing after another to  
>argue or fight about. Anyways, you're the British Empire. I might actually<br>enjoy watching the Central American countries bother your perverted neighbor.

There's not much I can do about Russia. I swear he's got a key to my house.  
>Even if I don't invite him, he'll come when he wants to. I think that it's<br>better to appease him and let him come over now and again than having him  
>break an entry with that lead pipe. Even if I do try and run, he'll stalk me<br>throughout Belgrade.

If I can't get to sleep tonight, then I'll read _A Midsummer's Night  
>Dream<em>. As the days of Russia's arrival creep closer, I've been more on  
>edge. Look, if you don't want me making uninvited and perhaps less than<br>welcome house visits, then fine. Like I said, Russia's a bad influence and his  
>creepy habits rub off.<p>

He's a total creep. I might just need those plane tickets to London sooner  
>than expected. He might chase me around Serbia, but I don't think he'll chase<br>me cross country.

Well, Mladic's indictment is now public. Some people tried to fake hospital  
>records of him having cancer or something similar. The reported surgeries<br>never happened. There's mixed feelings about Mladic's trial. Some want justice  
>and consider the criminal to be lower than a dog while others sympathize with<br>him and don't want him on trial. Others still don't know where their stance  
>is. My own opinion is best left to myself.<p>

In regards to the EU, I'm hoping to become a full member in 2018.

I've moved all the vodka into a locked room and I'm the only one in possession  
>of the key. Hopefully that'll keep Russia from drinking everything there is in<br>my house. Russia gets violent when he doesn't have enough vodka. If he gets  
>violent, you're the first one I'm running to.<p>

Дамјан Немањић

Damjan Nemanjić

* * *

><p>Damjan,<p>

Alright. I'll call you by your human name, as well, if that will make things better. Indeed, the general public should not know of our existence, so I can see why your boss would want to take precautionary measures.

It may taste different, but it's _certainly_ better than vodka. At least you like our tea; it seems its popularity wanes the further West you go out. At least my neighbours to the very, very far East enjoy it.

Indeed they do, don't they? Perhaps it's because_ Spain_ colonised them. Had they been under my control, they wouldn't have_ half _of their current turmoil. British Honduras is about the only fine one. But he's... er, in _another_ predicament right now.

Then do try to have Belarus as your ally. That woman is mad, but you might as well use her for your advantage.

You don't have to use such a snappy tone with me. A mere suggestion on your image to others shouldn't be taken to heart.

I can't have you come here simply because you wish to evade Russia. As a friend, I would supply you with tickets; as a nation, I have to keep my people safe and Russia is a threat. There's always the possibility he'll want to ask me in person to join him in that barmy union he has planned. Or he could terrorise citizens here as a way to get me to accept. You have to think ahead when dealing with madmen like Russia.

Justice will be served in the end, is all I'll say. If the trial goes as planned, the possibility of your membership will shoot up.

Oh... dear.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yours is the first Serbia OC I've ever seen, and it's very nice and original~ I like replying to you.**

**Thanks x3**

**And this is it for letters today; tomorrow I shall continue.**


	137. Washington DC 12

Iggy,

That's not /my/ end...

Oh-Oh WOW. That did NOT come out right.

That makes sense~ Your Japanese is so smexy, though!

Yep~

America - Hamburger street and WCD World dancing

Russia - Pechka and Winter

Japan - Excuse me I'm sorry and Lad where the sun rises

Italy - Let's boil hot water

Romano - The delicious tomatoe song

Spain - Le Pasion no se Detiene

France - Paris is Indeed Splendid and Embrace the Tres Bien Mois

China - Aiyaa 4000 years! and Nihao China

Prussia - Mein Gott

Ukraine and Belarus - Carrots and Sticks

Germany - German Anthem and Einsamkeit

There might be more, but I'm not sure~

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Washington D.C.,<p>

What the bloody hell?

I also thought I said I _didn't_ want to know. Follow instructions, git.

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bee-tee-dubs, Narked!England= really really mad and annoyed. Scornful!England= just him being his sarcastic, snappy self.**


	138. Luxembourg 1

Dear Mr. England,

H-Hello! Um...this is Luxembourg, you know? Belgium's and Netherlands's little  
>sister? I need your help...my older siblings keep on getting into huge fights<br>and keep dragging me into it. What's worse is that I always end up injured  
>when they start arguing. I'm too scared that I'f I tell them to quit it,<br>they'll snap at me! I don't want them to be angry at me...do you have any  
>advice?<p>

With love,

Luxembourg 'Luxy'

* * *

><p>Luxembourg,<p>

If you want peaceful advice on how to handle your siblings, _don't_ come to me. All I would suggest is to take them over before _they _take over you. And if they refuse to join you, forever ignore them. Practise magic to curse them.

Use _offensive_ strategies, not _defensive_. Instilling_ fear_ in your enemies is the only way to get them to obey you.

Scornful!England


	139. California 1

Hey Iggy

Can I call you Iggy? Of course I can! What am I talking about? Anyway, just  
>dropping by to say hi~ By the way your food sucks lol<p>

California

also daddy's forcing me to write my human name too so...

Andrea Belle Jones

God I hate that name. Just call me Andy.

* * *

><p>Oh, so my food '<em>sucks<em>', California? Alright, then.

Your accent drives me_ mad _and I wish someone would just chop off my ears whenever you start talking.

_Don't_ call me Iggy. Where the hell did that name come from, anyway?

Scornful!England


	140. Japan 3

Asa-san, please do not worry about my current situation. I will overcome it.  
>You need not fret about that. I am already trying my best to help them and am<br>on the road to recovery.. although that may take some time.

Please, wait for me in the mean time. I am already able to stand. I will  
>regain myself and when I do, I hope you will see me as an equal.. once again?<br>(Am I being too forward?) Please, overlook anything that would trouble you. I  
>did not intend for you to be troubled in any way or form.<p>

..Your contibutions have been greatly appreciated. It was uncalled for to  
>force you to let go of some of you people just for my sake. You have been too<br>kind to me. It would be both dishonourable and ungracious to ask for more.

Although you say that it was not my fault, I am afraid I cannot let myself  
>believe that wholly. I know my contributions to that incident and I am<br>determined not to let it happen again. For my people and myself.

Please excuse me, but I see no question to answer other than you asking what  
>was.. wrong.. with me. I belive I had answered that question already.<p>

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

Ugh, finally, someone whose letter I can reply to without snapping at them.

You've always been quiet and shy; I'm not going to let you suffer alone. Remember our Anglo-Japanese Alliance? Just because the treaty does not bind us to aid each other anymore doesn't mean I can't help a friend, especially one as valued as you.

I don't see you as a lesser nation; what_ ever _are you talking about? Really, stop worrying, Japan. Sending help over is no trouble at all.

No, it's _not_ uncalled for, nor is it an extreme act of kindness. I'm honouring our valuable friendship. You're unquestionably our closest partner in Asia. That's what us nations in terms of alliance do. You need not be so meek.

Stop beating yourself over it, Japan! I know you have a very high view of honour and such, but mistakes happen, and it's _not_ your fault.

-sigh- Fine.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So basically, if you're not Japan or America... beware the wrath of England xD Also, 'unquestionably our closest partner in Asia' is a real quote regarding English relations with Japan. Britain's Foreign Secretary said this. **


	141. America 8

Arthur,

Dude you're stuttering are you sure you were happy? I don't wanna make you  
>feel bad in any way. Actually your letter box was knocked over when I was looking for your scotch so when I picked it up, I found New York's letter (I can't believe she told you the pictures I'm going to have a talk with her about it) but that was the only letter I read so don't worry about your personal stuff. About talking to Francis for advise...well he came to me. He says it's obvious you like me and vice versa so he pulled me over after last week's meeting for some tips. I can't believe he was right for once but he HAD to know about last night and took<br>Hungary and her video camera with him. I really hate them right now. Anyways  
>I'll let you go but I love you 3<p>

~America, yeah!

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Yeah, I'm... fine.

Do discipline your children better, though. And don't... read through my stuff...

...the frog wouldn't do something like that without _something_ up his sleeve.

I'll _talk _to them.

I... I l-love you too...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Daaaaww. Also, stupid FF, the heart doesn't show up! D: So there's only a 3 T-T**


	142. Golden Horde 2

Hello, United Kingdom:

I'm part of Russia, but I'm the only one that could tame little Vanya. In  
>fact, I ruled over him from 1237 until around 1410. I'm afraid that I'm the<br>cause of Russia's behavior today. I'm sure that Dad Mongolia feels better  
>after that food poisoning incident. However, Hungary's now leading a crusade<br>to ban you from cooking. I'm not sure why, but she hated the idea of allowing  
>you to cook.<p>

Let's see, the troubles in the Balkans started when Latvia, Sealand and I got  
>caught by Romania spying on her house. We tried to get out, but our rescuers<br>ended up captured. I'm currently at the Ukrainian side of the border, hoping  
>that Romania doesn't come and get me from here. Also, is there any way for me<br>to introduce myself to Serbia? Little Vanya's trying to impose himself on the  
>Serbian nation, and I need to restrain him.<p>

The Baltics and I came up with an idea to lock the perverted Frenchman and  
>forced him to marry Belarus. That was after Dad Mongolia and his armies chased<br>him around the Mongolian steppes. Unfortunately, the wagon broke while Hungary  
>and Romania were fighting and the Frenchman is about to help Romania while<br>Belarus tortures the captives.

Golden Horde

P.S.: Could you give me an advice on how to rescue someone? Also, have you  
>tried to switch burger patties? America could eat some veggie burger.<p>

* * *

><p>Golden Horde,<p>

You're.. th-the cause...

Ahem, anyw-

_Hungary's trying to ban me from cooking?_ The little munter! How many grudges does she hold against me?

You associate with Sealand? He's not even a nation... -grumble- But anyway, that's a rather... _unfortunate_ predicament. Hmm, well I write to Serbia, but serving as a medium between the two of you would be odd. Perhaps you could just visit him yourself?

Hahaha! Brilliant! Now that frog will stop pestering me!_ Haha!_

England

P.S. Er, I'm actually trying... to do the same. You can, er, use magic. But my favourite is simply to use as many weapons as possible so the capturer will know you're perfectly serious.

It's true violence is never the answer- violence is the_ question_. And _yes _is the answer.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Daww, I guess talking to his (only) friends earlier calmed Iggy down a bit.**


	143. British Columbia 10

Dear Uncle Iggy,

Alright. I never said I didn't trust you, I'm just cautious. Everyone thinks  
>Dad is quiet and harmless, but when he's mad, Canada turns into MANADA and I<br>really don't need him chasing me around with a hockey stick for getting a  
>tattoo without his permission.<p>

Again, I don't mind McDonalds every once in a while. It's nice to enjoy a  
>burger every once in a while, although... I really like home cooked burgers<br>better.

Also, again. Image of Uncle Al as a fatty = HILARIOUS. Especially since, when  
>he comes over to my house, he wanders around shirtless. Did you know Uncle Al<br>is RIPPED?

R-Really? Y-You like it? Th-Thanks, Uncle Iggy! And I suppose I was a child  
>when you left me with Dad, wasn't I?he couldn't have been very old himself.<br>Plus, Papa France was around much more than you were. (Not that I like him...)  
>I guess I've grown from a child to a woman since you've been away~<p>

WHO picked this out? I-I had no idea! Ah... Th-Thank her for me! I-I'll  
>definitely wear it! -flustered-<p>

Lots of love,

Lyra

PS. If... you don't want to burn the picture, th-then you don't have to... I-I  
>guess...<p>

PPS. Uncle Al told me you have a tattoo somewhere. Do you really? What is it?  
>D-Did it hurt when you got it? I'm a bit nervous about getting mine...<p>

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

Canada's capable of anger?

_Anything _is better than those globs they dare call food. I'm not a fan of burgers, but I suppose homemade would at least be better than any greasy fast food.

Er. Y-yes, I... _knew_. Don'taskhow! It's j-just _amusing_ to make fun of him for his eating habits, but... I'm aware of his... er, athletic build.

I guess. I... really can't remember Canada being a territory of mine. When I try to imagine him as a child, America comes to mind. Weird. Yes, France was probably trying to steal my land then, as per usual.

The Duchess of Cambridge. Did you really think I would pick out a dress? Pfft, no. I couldn't think of a better person to ask, seeing all the craze about her _own_ dresses.

England

P.S. Ah, alright. I do like to have _some_ mementos, you know. I'm not _that _cold-hearted.

P.P.S. NOIDON'TAHAHAHA.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah, I know England has a guitar tattoo xD But quite obviously he's not going to admit it.**


	144. Hungary 16

OI, DON'T GO OFF PISSING BLOOD EVERYWHERE TEA SIPPER. I DON'T NEED YOUR CRAP.  
>DON'T GO MOUTHING OFF TO ME. I NEVER NEW THE MAN WITH BIG BEN WAS SUCH A<br>WHINEY PUNCI

OH NOW WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER POSSIBLY DO THAT? HM? I WOULDN'T HAVE A CLUE  
>WHY.<p>

ANYTHING PUBLIC EH? I ONLY SENT ONE TO NEW YORK, THAT WAS IT. DICK. MAYBE NOW  
>I'LL RETHINK THAT?<p>

Oh.

Oh, Y-You're going to end me? Hm?

T-Thats...

...

PPFFHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

O-OH MY ISTEN, A-AHAHAHAAA! I- HAA ICANTBREATHOHMYGOD-HAHAHAAAAA~ *There are  
>tear stains on this paper*<p>

...

A-haha. haa..hahaha...ow, ow my stomach...ohh, ó ember...haa..

T-That, you are a funny man Arthur. Funny man. You have your moments.

Ah, Now for alchohol. Settle my self down.

Hahaha...

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! NOT A WANTON ONLY BENT ON WATCHING THAT SORT OF CRAP BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ANY <em>YOURSELF!<em>

I. HATE. YOU. AND. YOUR. STUPID. FACE. ROT IN HELL.

D'YOU THINK I CARE WHO RECEIVES WHAT? NO! S'LONG AS WHAT I DO IN MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE _REMAINS _PERSONAL! EVER HEARD OF PRIVACY, WOMAN? PROBABLY NOT, KNOWING HOW_ EDUCATED_ YOU ARE!

DON'T BLOODY LAUGH! I'M SERIOUS AS HELL!

YOU WILL REGRET THIS, HUNGARY! MARK. MY. WORDS.

Narked!England


	145. New York 5

England,

I was just curious. It it illegal to ask questions now?

I KNOW I'm not a nation. Thank GOD I'm not. I've seen all the work you have to  
>do. I'm very glad I'm a state.<p>

I was being sarcastic!

My idea of "good time" is just fine, thank you very much. You're one to talk  
>about drinking. I don't do drugs either. Ug! Just thinking about them makes me<br>sick to my stomach! I also don't drink that much, and not very often.

The places where my parties take place are fine, thank you very much!

You were a pirate once... there's a joke here, but I'm pretty sure you'd kill  
>me if I wrote it.<p>

I would say something about the wigs, but I remember some of the stuff I used  
>to wear... not a pretty memory.<p>

Yes, I'm getting both. No, America does not know. I'm old enough to make my  
>own choices thank you very much! I'm getting the belly-button piercing first.<p>

I'm not going to touch this one with a ten foot pole.

I happen to like wine. It's fun *words have been scribbled out here* to drink.  
>I also happen to like France. He's not that bad.<p>

You seem a little upset, is everything alright?

~Concerned!Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

No, but it_ is_ illegal to have anything relating to me without my permission! It's an invasion of my privacy!

Your sense of sarcasm is _skewed,_ then, _dear_.

But I'm not as young as _you_; it won't affect me much, thanks.

-narrows eyes- _Really?_ I dare you to write it out. I. Dare. You.

But he's your bloody father! Just because you're old enough to '_make your own choices_' does not mean you go running outside, flailing your arms like some _git! _You still depend on him _financially_, don't you? As well as in other areas! So don't say any of that 'I'm totally independent' shite because _it's not true_. Not unless you're a _nation_, who are _actually_ independent. As a _state_, you're still part of America.

You _like_ France? Well, _that_ explains everything!

And _nooo! _I'm _jolly_ fine!

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The woes of being after Hungary...**


	146. Guatemala 2

Inglaterra,

Okay. And no, my manners aren't like mi hermana's. She has anger issues let's  
>not judge her right now...<p>

And the address on that paper is wrong. He normally fights a person near his  
>house. That is an address for a factory in Russia. He's attempting to ambush<br>you.

Badass!Guatemala

* * *

><p>I highly doubt it. You other Central American nations act <em>all<em> the same toward me. If you'd been under my control like Belize was, perhaps then you'd have the _right_ idea of respect.

How the bloody hell was _I_ supposed to know? Do _you_ know where on earth they are, then? _Do_ tell.

Narked!England


	147. El Salvador 3

I'm not shielding myself from anything. You are sadly mistaken.

You might want to shut up. Unless you want Belize to start to gain scars. I've  
>been nice enough to not torture him. Don't make me end that.<p>

Oh really? I'm more ruthless, crazy and cunning than you are. If I'm so  
>"worthless" then why am I not dead by now?<p>

Gang!Él Salvador

* * *

><p>-scoff- The organised crime in your nation is so severe, you're starting to <em>believe<em> in their distorted views. I'll keep all of this as proof so when I beat your sorry arse, you'll see that you need to be sent off to the loony bin.

Just _why_ are you holding him captive? He's got nothing against you and actually _likes_ you. You want to fight? Let him go and come see _me_.

Because you're a bloody nation and we _can't_ die! You're that daft?

Narked!England


	148. Prussia 1

Hey Ass,

Remember last Friday night at the bar? I didnt know you could party so hard!  
>Mein Gott! It was pretty awesome, I'll admit. And I got it ALL on tape, and<br>sent it to Hungary! KesKesKes!

Look, Germany asked me to get his uniform jacket, but its at your house. That  
>night, It started to rain, and Austria gave it to you...well...Brittiana, so<br>you wouldnt freeze when you made your way to America's place that night. I  
>thought it was cool, but then it got unawesome when you passed out on that<br>american. Got that on tape too.

The Awesome Prussia

P.S. Gilbird is way awesomer than you and your green flying thing combined!

* * *

><p>Oh <em>joy<em>, it's you. You're not even a nation, so _kindly belt up_, will you, sod?

You're _asking_ for a death wish, Prussia!

. . .

I SWEAR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND _MURDER_ YOU, TOO!

Gilbird is a bloody _bird! _Awfully _feminine_ of you, who proclaim how great and manly you are nearly every five seconds!

Narked!England


	149. Serbia 12

ARTHUR KIRKLAND

Trying to write this as fast as possible. Excuse the sloppy handwriting and  
>perhaps butchering of your language. Russia's visiting today. The creep thinks<br>I'm the only one who loves him. Got a key to my house.

Just landed outside of Belgrade. Unsure if he has lead pipe.

Дамјан Немањић

* * *

><p>Oh dear God.<p>

I-it's not advisable to come to my country; remember the Central American nation that's currently trying to assassinate me?

I-I don't know where you can go! I-I'd ask someone I know to see if they can host you, but... but...

_I'm_ _sorrryyy!_

Frenzied!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Breakdown possible?**


	150. Valencia 13

England

I've been told that France sent you a letter to explain something I wrote in  
>MY last one and about your answer. Which is creepy, since I don't let anyone<br>(not even my siblings or España) read my letters (or the ones that are sent  
>to me).<p>

And I understand that you want to defend you, but you shouldn't let your mood  
>affect your writing u.u<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia, again, it's <em>France<em>. He's raped probably every nation, or at least attempted to. If there's something the frog _excels_ at, it's _stalking_.

Not let my _mood_ affect my writing? Oh yes, because France deserves a _civil_ letter where I praise him! Yeah, let's _all_ write to him like that!

Narked!England


	151. Madrid 13

Señor Inglaterra,

Francia es mi 'tío.' At least I call him that because he's a close friend of  
>my father, so he's something akin to an uncle. I feel compelled to talk to the<br>Cajuns when I see them, as a force of habit, because we are 'related' in a  
>way.<p>

I second that.

Which is why I prefer English tourists. If they learned Spanish, they usually  
>learn the traditional Spanish I speak. If not, I can talk to them and<br>understand them, whereas some Americans insert the odd 'like' here and there,  
>use strange words, and... well, I find myself trying not to laugh at some of<br>their names.

I don't know. Something about America's fear of the paranormal, I believe?

He'll learn eventually that calling himself a nation is different from being a  
>nation and if he wants to be one, he's a very long way to go.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

That's _lovely_.

_Of course_ you prefer us. Bloody Americans, using filler words because they can't think before they speak. Honestly, they just open their traps and yammer. Only makes them look _stupider_.

I really don't know.

He will _never_ be a nation! He's a bloody_ fort! _We _abandoned_ it, but that doesn't mean some loon can proclaim it a country because we don't want it anymore! It's simply a _structure! _God, drives me mad.

Scornful!England


	152. Guatemala 3

Inglaterra,

...ignoring that jab about mi familia's upbringing...

And maybe you should've known because you pride yourself in being the best.  
>spy. And Nicaragua has manageed to recruit help in rescuing Belize, destroying<br>Él Salvador's base AND obtaining information. You may want to thank her later  
>because she managed all of this while being extremely frantic. I'm sending the<br>information with this letter.

Badass!Guatemala

* * *

><p><em>Thanks<em> for the information.

I would _certainly_ thank her, but considering how _kind_ she is to me, I think I won't.

Is El Salvador at all his _wonderful_ self again, or is he still wanting to murder those near him?

Scornful!England


	153. Golden Horde 3

Hello, United Kingdom:

Sealand can be a handful, but he's learned how to make friends now. Also,  
>everyone knows by now about your artistic cooking skills by now and would want<br>to take countermeasures. I'm afraid so, UK. Little Vanya was wearing a hat and  
>scarf when I captured him. You could say that I ruled him similar to what<br>Austria did with Chibitalia.

Indonesia started to write to me a while ago, and she was angry about Prussia  
>sending candies to her and Italy, disguising it as Canada's gift. Perhaps I<br>would like to enlist your expertise in the scone department and make them.  
>I'll send those scones to Prussia and France, but in reality, you're the one<br>who sent it. I even have a better idea. Why not put opium on the scones?

Hope I don't get caught by China smuggling opium into my house,

Golden Horde

* * *

><p>Golden Horde,<p>

Sealand is a _git_. He doesn't _deserve_ to have friends. He's not a bloody nation! Why should he be treated as one?

I don't c-cook _that_ bad!

Wh-what? I mean, I abso-bloody-lutely hate frog-face, but Prussia isn't _that_ bad. And I won't stand to be framed! _You_ want to poison them, you do it _yourself_. I won't participate in such lowly activities as that, especially where _you_ get away free, though that's _your_ idea.

Scornful!England


	154. El Salvador 4

Inglaterra,

W-what's happening? I-I tried to hurt mi hermano? I-I don't even know what's  
>going on anymore. Someone set the factory on fire...<p>

And I HATE my crime... they're the reason I have a split personality...

P-please tell me Belize is safe...

Confused!Él Salvador

* * *

><p>I'll lay it out for you plainly, El Salvador-<p>

You're currently trying to kill Belize because you kidnapped him.

There. Now you feel _great_, I bet!

Release him at once, under orders of myself and your surrounding Central American neighbours; they are your _family_, I might add!

Scornful!England


	155. Golden Horde 4

Hello, United Kingdom:

I heard about Serbia's predicament, and am wondering if he can stay over at my  
>house for a while. Despite the fact that I'm a part of Russia, I'm slowly<br>taking over his foreign affairs, meaning I could conduct international  
>relations with other countries for little Vanya. Serbia is welcome to stay for<br>a while, and I have to restrain little Vanya from creeping him out, even if  
>Serbia's population kinda adored Russia.<p>

I might as well share my chakchak recipe with you since I need to cripple  
>Prussia with my own cooking, laced with opium. With luck, I should use opium<br>to drug that Frenchman and his Belarusian wife and create a new English fairy  
>tale called "The French Husband and the Belarusian Wife". Finally, could you<br>send us one longbow? Dad Mongolia wants to know how to create a longbow using  
>traditional Mongolian materials.<p>

Golden Horde

P.S.: You did forget that Hungary stripped you naked, didn't you?

* * *

><p>You again, Golden Horde? What, are you going to ask for <em>more<em> of my help in other crimes? The answer is _no_.

Serbia is currently being _targeted_ by Russia. If he visited you, who are still under Russia, then wouldn't he feel at _total_ peace? Besides, I'm not Serbia's guardian or anything; why ask _me _for permission? But I still disapprove.

Why exactly are you wanting to kill Prussia? He's a bit of an arsehole sometimes, I'll admit (since he _does_ socialise with Spain), but worthy of being killed? No. And opium is _illegal! _

...though that sounds like an amusing fairytale, you're wanting to use drugs which are _illegal_. At least, they are against the law _here;_ I am unaware if they are in Asia. Even if they are legal there, I'm still not going to be part of this.

A _longbow?_ What the bloody hell are you planning?

HUNGARY? _WHAT?_

Scornful!England


	156. Serbia 13

ENGLAND

I'M GOING TO DIE HERE! RUSSIA HAS LEAD PIPE AND THREATENING ME! LOCKED IN A  
>BATHROOM. SOMEONE SAVE ME! *suspicious wet patches* SENDING BY ZMAJ. *rest of<br>letter rendered illegible by more suspicious wet patches*

SERBIA

* * *

><p>FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES?<p>

I'LL- I'LL SEND HELP OR... OR _SOMETHING!_

Hang on, Serbia!

And if you somehow get a hold of this, Russia, piss off! Stop bothering others!

England


	157. Spain 1

Inglaterra,

...well. Letters from you huh? I guess you can be sociable...but...I've  
>noticed you've been talking to my darling Romano...please don't kill him with<br>your cooking. I'd be absolutely devestated.

...And then you'd have to run for your miserable little life.

Anyway~! That's the end of that.

Ciao, Inglaterra

Spain

* * *

><p>Well look, if it isn't <em>Spain<em>.

This letter business is under orders of Her Majesty.

At least my _government_ still functions, arse.

Oh, run for my life? Like _you_ did when I beat your miserable little 'armada'? Look at me, trembling in my boots already in fear of you.

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yey~ It's youuu~ :3 Hiya**


	158. Luxembourg 2

Dear ,

...I took your advice but...I think I'm in a worse situation. Now their BOTH  
>angry at me for standing up to them. Good news, they get along now and are<br>hanging out more. Bad news, they teamed up and are now both bullying me even  
>more...How do you deal with your siblings?<p>

With love,

Luxemborug 'Luxy'

* * *

><p>Luxembourg,<p>

I _warned_ you that my advice was not the kind to use to solve matters civilly!

But since obviously that can't be taken back, you might as well just go to war with them. After all, if someone bullies you, don't you feel like you want to annihilate their sorry arses? Wipe them from the face of the Earth? Why should _you_ be the one to suffer? Just because they're _older_ does not mean they're _better! _

Make them part of _your_ empire!

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Allegory to Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and the Republic of Ireland much?**


	159. Washington DC 13

Iggy,

get it? "Not on the recieving end"? "Not on my end"?

true though, very very true.

I'll follow instructions if I want to.../git/.

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>Washington D.C., you're <em>really<em> testing my patience.

How about you shut your cakehole before I recapture you, hmm? D'you really want to relive your burning all over again?

Don't use _my _words to insult _me_, either!

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Argh, I want to write England as he'd act during the American Revolution, but 'Revolutionary War!England' looks stupid to write, dahaha.**


	160. New York 6

England,

HEY! I'm not the one who took the video! I just received it!

My sense of sarcasm isn't screwed dear, I just have a sick scene if humor.

Sweetheart, I'm not suicidal. Not writing it down. Sorry.

Oh, just to let you know, I'm under house arrest. My dad came over, and got  
>pissed because of the fact that I was going to get a tattoo and a belly<br>button ring. Which I wasn't going to tell him about until later. Did you show  
>him my letter! Christ, if you did, ug!<p>

I KNOW I'm not totally independent. Lord, I don't need to be reminded,  
>especially by you.<p>

What's wrong with liking France? It's not like I'm sleeping with him or  
>anything!<p>

Christ, what crawled up your ass and died. I suggest a nice bottle of whatever  
>shitty alcohol you drink. If you don't like me, just say so.<p>

~Pissed!Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

You could have... _not_ accepted it! Gasp! A genius, revolutionary idea indeed! Ever heard of having _decency _and declining items that others would not want seen? Hmph. _Obviously_ not.

Don't you bloody call me patronising names like that! I am older than you; I am a nation. You are a simple state. _Don't_ condescend me. If anything, it should be _me_ doing that to you!

I showed nothing to anyone, nor did I inform him! That is _horridly_ impulsive, assuming that _I_ did it! Serves you right to be kept at home.

I _beg_ to differ. D'you know how many colonies and territories I have-! You know what, never mind. You _really_ wouldn't understand.

I would _gladly_ name a lengthy list of France's faults, but even paper deserves better treatment than _that_.

Maybe I _don't_ like you. Your tone is awfully hubristic. Maybe I should just stop with all of this shite. Maybe I _will_ go have a bloody drink... you're _all_ making me brassed off.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Drunk!England countdown begins... now.**


	161. Valencia 14

Inglaterra

I don't think he has raped España... Or you... Or the Nordics... Or  
>America...<p>

I DON'T deserve reading those letters... My English sucks and I don't  
>understand half of what you say when you're angry<p>

hump!

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Oh, are you talking *hic* about ol' Francy-pants~? I don't think he's raped *hic* Spain, but since they're soooo close friends, I bet it's *hic* happened at one point, don't you? As for *hic* me, naaah, he hasn't actually had sex with me, but he's tried to~! -drunken giggle- I hit him on *hic* the head; it was reeeally funny! You *hic* should've been there! It's some sort of *hic* feet-osh for him to score one with every nation, *hic* ain't it~?

It's also only a a matter o' time before *hic* the Nomads and 'Merica get it, too~

English is a greeeat language! You're doing fine talkin' *hic* in it!

Hump? Camels have humps~ But it also means to shag! Ahahaha~! Language *hic* is fuuuunny!

Drunk!England


	162. British Columbia 11

Terrifyingly so. You've never seen him watch hockey, have you? This year,  
>with MY team in thefinals for the Stanley Cup, Dad will literally THROW things<br>at you if you walk in between him and the TV during the game. It's... scary.

Hah. See, with the warm weather, I'm going to start babecuing soon. When you  
>come to visit, maybe we can do a barbecue dinner? As long as it's still<br>summertime~

It's understandable. You were veeery focused on Uncle Al as a child. In my  
>infancy and early childhood, I only remember you a tiny bit. Again, Papa<br>France was around a lot more than you, but I always disliked him. After all,  
>he always focused so much on Quebec. I felt a bit... neglected at times.<p>

W-wow. That's awesome...

Love,

Lyra

PS. I never once said you were. I-I'm touched that you want to keep it...

PPS. Oh... Damn. I-I was hoping for some reassurance... I'm really nervous  
>about mine... Besides, I think it would be kind of cool if you did have a<br>tattoo.

* * *

><p>Lyre,<p>

I just noticed you're *hic* named after an instrument~! Ahaha, that's _amusing_. Do you *hic* play it? That would be marvelous~!

Stanely's *hic* Cup? I'm afraid I haven't *hic* seen his cup. Why did he lose it? Poor bloke. Maybe he can *hic* get a glass from a bartender as a substut – subtstant – suberb – ah, I *hic* forgooot what the word is, but it's pretty long!

Barbecue? Is that where *hic* you stand around and hold *hic* barby letter qs? Owww, that would *hic* reeally hurt! Are you trying to _hurt_ me, Lyre? Don't make me use *hic* my Britannia curse on you! -attempts to shake fist-

Blaargh! Don't talk about *hic* America! H-he _left_ me! After all I did *hic* for him, kindly raising his Texas on tea *hic* and glass *hic* and sugar *hic* and stamps and everythin' like that! Who _doesn't_ like *hic* to pay extra Texas? B-blasphemy! And I even w-wanted us to share *hic* a mutual hatred for France, but_ nuh-uh! _

Drunk!England


	163. Ely 9

England,

I wish I could see Flying Mint Bunny. He sounds like a great and wise  
>companion! Istillthinkaliensexistthough. *cough*<p>

Well I do have to agree with you there. Americans are very full of themselves.  
>*sighs* I'm glad you think I'm an exemption though. I don't get why<br>"our" football is called "football" when it's mostly about tackling.  
>There's more body-to-body contact (*snickers* Sounds so masculine…) than<br>there is use of feet.

I'm sorry for using American slang! Darnit. It's such a dirty habit.  
>Speaking of El Salvador… I kinda heard you're having problems? T_T Man…<br>why can't everyone just get along? Why England? Can you answer me that?

Aww. I'm always left in the dark. Will another fudge brownie do the trick?  
>=D *attaches one to the letter just in case*<p>

Admitted… admitted… What? *innocent smile*

~Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

But he's *hic* riiiight next to me currently! Can't you see *hic* him? Why can't people *hic* see him? Am I going *hic* barmy? Aaaargh! *hic*

Aliens are _stewwwpid_. Doesn't America always *hic* rant about that~? But I don' listen, *hic* nooo sir!

AMERICAN FOOTBALL *hic* ISN'T FOOTBALL IT'S A *hic* PROLIFIC-SPHERE-BALL BECAUSE *hic* *hic* THAT'S ITS SHAPE AND THEY DON' EVEN *hic* USE THEIR FEET BUT THEIR _HAAAANDS_. MY WAY *hic* MAKES MORE SENSE BLAARGH!

I dunno why *hic* everyone can't get along~! It's Rick's-dick's-loss. Maybe if *hic* everyone drank and joined hands, there *hic* would be world peas! Like the *hic* vegetables! Those are *hic* healthy so it'll be good for the world, right? *hic*

Heeeey, what's *hic* this? It's some lumpy *hic* brown food thingy, I think. I wonder how *hic* it tastes with rum~! -dips- Yay~!

Drunk!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...what is this I don't even.**

**Also, his rant about football is something I feel very serious about v.v I love soccer, screw America's 'football'. The ball is a prolate spheroid shape (not prolific sphere, dahaha; that's just England's malapropisms) and is carried around, not actually kicked or anything related with feet like in soccer. Gah. Drives me bonkers.**


	164. Oslo 1

To Iggy

Just want you to know, I'm a big fan :3 *v-sign*

And I have the same eyes colour as you~

but all those unimportant stuffs away.

So is it that you always bottom when America is around? ^/^

Love

Emma (Oslo, capital of Norway)

* * *

><p>O-Oslo,<p>

Er, th-thanks. Ugh, my head...

R-really n-now? Green is... ugh... really rare. But it's more common in, gaah, Northern Europe, so... makes s-sense.

_Wh-what?_

...uuugh, my head is _throbbing _like mad...

Hungover!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I'm a France 'cause I stalked your profile and you're actually from Norway yaaaay! ~OuO~ -bows down before you-**


	165. America's Belarus 1

Dear England,

Hello. Are you okay? I hear a lot of people have been teasing you.

I'm just a regular human, and I'm sorry to say that I have absolutely no drop  
>of blood in me that is British. I'm full-blooded American, but according to<br>one of those ancestor website, I have the entire Bad Trio running through me.  
>And Italian.<p>

...Oh, you don't like them I guess, huh? It seems you really hate France, it's  
>a shame. You could be friends :D *cough cough* No, not really XD Actually, the<br>image of you being with France kind of freaks me out.

Now, shall I release the blackmail? Here is my question:

What IS your real relationship with America?

Don't act like I don't know what's going down. Cause I do.

-points to America's Drama CD mini-drama- (Sorry, braking the fourth wall a  
>bit there.) Aha~ I know you sleep together. Ahaha~ Don't try getting out of it<br>either, cause I can name at least ten other things that proves this  
>relationship.<p>

I think that's the end of my teasing you. Sorry. Maybe you could teach me how  
>to make scones or something? I heard they're yummy, but I'm not really sure...<p>

Sincerely,

America's Belarus

* * *

><p>America's... Belarus,<p>

That... is an, er, _interesting_ name.

Anyway. Yes, I'm, urgh, fine, thanks for asking. Bothering me has been, ugh, a worldwide hobby since... w-well, since I can remember.

That just _proves_ my, ack, point that those charlatans have all shagged each other at some point, hahaha!

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? Of course I hate that frog! No one in their right mind can _stand_ him, much less, urgh, _approve_ of him!

. . .

IALREADYADMITTEDILIKEHIM. SOSTOPASKING.

Hungover!England


	166. Hungary 17

OH? So so we aren't then? GOOD. JUST WENT *hic* OFF YELLING AT ME. WHO DOES  
>THAT? OH RIGHT! *hic* Angry BRITS like you who can't tell when they SHOULDN'T<br>be blowing up on someone!

Faces can't be stupid, Dumbass. *hic*

EDUCATED? I'll show you educated, in fuckin'-*hic* Uff...

Privacey is for PUSSIES! I-*hic*- don't need it. I don't need anything! Sucks  
>that you feel insecure about EVERYTHING, *hic* unlike me!<p>

SERIOUS? OH Yes sure. AS SERIOUS AS YOUR DAMN FARIES AND MAGIC. Because that  
>is so serious and true. "Oh Look at me I'm talking to bloody AIR! How lovely!"<br>YEAH. I bet-*hic* you're on weed or something.

OH? Mark Mine:

SUCK.

ON.

IT.

Where's my *hic* damn car!

Drunk!Hungary

* * *

><p>...oh God, <em>Hungary<em>...

D-did you get drunk because I... y-yelled at you? W-wait, you won't answer this rationally if you're plastered... bollocks.

L-look, I didn't mean to... to... _you know_. So, er, I know that I was, um, rude, and... pleasedon'tgetanymoredrunk aaand y-yeah.

I'll ignore your little bit about my magic being fake because... um, I don't... I don't l-like seeing you in this state. You're making me feel g-guilty. I'm... uh... s-sorry.

I just hope you can read this coherently...

England


	167. America 9

Arthur,

Well I am having issues with Discipline. I try really hard to be the awesome  
>heroic parent that I am but I don't want my kids to hate me. Besides I think<br>they're old enough to be on their own. Yes I promise not to go through your  
>stuff but you should get a better hiding spot for your letters. Someone like<br>Russia or Hungary could get into them. Oh you're going to talk to them for me?  
>Um...thanks. (even if I should do the heroness myself)<p>

With love, America.

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

Spend more time with your children, then. B-besides, I think I maaay have been, um, verbally abusive towards them. Um, y-yeah.

Letters aren't _supposed_ to be hidden, git... they go in the mail.

Yeah... t-talk. Ahahaha.

...you're _certainly_ the hero.

England


	168. Spain 2

El diablo,

Oh? Really now? Trying to patch up relations that you fucked up so badly that  
>they're irrepairable?<p>

My government does function thank you very much-it's the flip side (aka, YOU)  
>that doesn't.<p>

Bull shit. I did not fucking run. Spaniards do not run, even when defeated.

Your loft sarcasm never ceases to amaze.

Spain

* * *

><p>Filthy dago,<p>

No, it's called strengthening political relations. We actually bother to do such things in Britain. And what are you doing? Right, trying to keep revolts under control, not to mention convince others (rather miserably) that you aren't the source of all the E. coli outbreak. I don't believe it originated form Germany; only _you_ could bugger it.

Oh, because _I've_ been the one with people protesting recently, _certainly_ not you, arsehole.

True. You don't run, you _get the hell out of there_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes, yes you are~**


	169. Spain 3

El diablo (who needs to rot in hell because God hates him so much),

...I fucking hate you with such a burning passion. Maybe, I should take a  
>watermelon, have Japan paint your face on it and throw knives at it until I<br>feel better-oh wait, that won't work since it's not you. Care to offer  
>yourself as my stress relief?<p>

You? Strenghtening political relations? HA. You make me laugh. Get out of my  
>buisness, you damn Brit. I'm trying to fix my damn economy and doing so while<br>ill is not very fun. So piss off and go bug someone else. I did not start the  
>fucking E Coli strain! Get off my damn case!<p>

Shut up, dammit. It's not my damn fault my economy is falling to shambles. I  
>blame fucking America. Who you raised. Fancy that...<p>

Fuck that shit! Damn Brit. Let me tell you something-while you LOST to an  
>upstart nation, I was getting back on my feet-and by the way-I did not run. I<br>stayed and fought against you of all people-someone has to.

Spain

* * *

><p>Dago who needs to get shagged by a certain Eyetie so he'll stop being so narked,<p>

Hmm, let's see what I think of what you wrote.

Don't care.

Still don't care.

Oh! ...wait, no. I _don't_ care!

And lastly, _ask me if I bloody care._

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'll probably use the 'Ask me if I care' thing a lot; it fits England. Which is courtesy of my awesome American History teacher. Well, past teacher. 'Cause it's summer vacation~!**

**And no, it's not bad at all! xD**


	170. Serbia 14

Arthur Kirkland

Russia's asleep. I'm still in the bathroom. Russia wants me to get in bed with  
>him. I'm not getting in the same room as that creep right now. I managed to<br>get in touch with my brother, Montenegro. He said I can stay at his house for  
>the night if I can even get out of my house. He's been threatening to impale<br>things, the kolkolkol. He's still acting like we're brothers and that we love  
>each other. Oh, God. How I want Belarus to come down.<p>

Damjan Nemanjić

* * *

><p>Damjan,<p>

You can come here now, if you wish; I got all the... _bad_ things that were going on sorted. Perhaps you'll be safer here than with Montenegro. Russia would _not_ want to mess with me.

Belarus _does_ seem like a good ally to have at times.

B-but... _wait_. When you were brothers, he still wanted you to-?

. . .

Arthur


	171. Russia 3

T-tiny country,

D-don't say Her name * drunken sob* she's _evil_

S-she already...*vodka spill* wants ta marry mee...

I jus' wanted friends...nobody loves me!You aaall hate me, da?

* suspicious watery stains* O-only Mr. Vodka looves me...

H-he's magic, did ya know? T-that's how he gots through the mail! * giggle*

Completely Drunk!Russia

P.S: Would ya t-tell serbia I loooooooove him? H-he's playing hides and seek  
>now.<p>

* * *

><p>Dear God, Russia, you can get<em> drunk? <em>You learn something new every day...

Er. I really don't know how to reply to this. Because you're completely plastered. _This_ is not Russia behaviour.

Something has to be wrong here.

. . .

England


	172. Hungary 18

England,

Pla-aahelahaah*scribbles*-Plastered? *hic* I AM NO WALL. PFFFFF-*Hic*.

I can get drunk if I want! In fact *hic* I'm in a bar right now! Waychya gon'  
>do 'bout it?<p>

BUTCHERENGLISHLANGUAGEOMGYEAH

*Hic*..mhh...Look at what? I see scribbled words...

You're *hic* stuttering. Oooo-

OHH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG. HILARIOUS.

Dunno what *hic* Winehouse is though...

Whatever.

Cuz I don't care who I piss off yeah I'ma real big sinner.

SOMETIMES I EAT MY DESSERT BEFORE MY DINNAA~

Drunk!Hungary

P.S.- It's okay Artiee~ Now where are them keys...

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

That's a British word for _completely drunk out of your mind_. Step away from the liquor... _now_.

I'm going to bloody go down to Hungary and get you to Austria's, _that's what_.

Stop listening to horrid pop music and parodies thereof! This will only infect your already drunk, feeble, numb mind more!

AND DON'T FUCKING DRIVE!

England


	173. America 10

Dude,

I think you're right. It's hard handleing 50 kids. At least you don't have  
>that many, lucky you. Ohhhhh so they go in the mail? Huh, I stopped doing that<br>years ago ever since e mail was invented. Yes I did talk during the meeting  
>and I guess everything is alright. Aldo, don't be nervous. I hate feeling like<br>I did something wrong all the time or that you don't like me.

Alfred.

ps, want to go drinking tonight, just the two of us? I promise I'll take a cab  
>in case I also get drunk along side of you :)<p>

pps, bring that totally awesome waiter outfit of yours.

* * *

><p>Alfred,<p>

Probably because I'm not a whore. Have you _seen_ the surnames your children have? Honestly, you could rival France.

...you're such an idiot. And just because mail is electronic now does not mean you simply abandon traditional, more meaningful means of exchanging written communication.

It's _nothing_, really. Don't worry.

And don't address me as 'dude'._ Really?_

I'll have to decline your drinking offer. I might have to go get Hungary, who's completely rat-arsed, and I don't want to be intoxicated myself. A-and I don't get drunk _that_ easily...

Nosuchoutfitexistswhatahaha!

Arthur


	174. New York 7

England,

I didn't know what was in it. I just opened it. If it helps, I threw it out.

You know what, I'm not touching this one with a ten foot pole. Like I've said  
>before, I'm not suicidal.<p>

You're the only one who know about the fact I was getting anything done. So of  
>course I would think it would be you. Sorry.<p>

Try me.

Wow, you are really mean. I try to be optimistic about everything.

You're pissed at me? Well then, my job has been completed.

You know I've never had English alcohol. I'm assuming its good. I should talk  
>to London or someone, see if they can send me some.<p>

Next time you're in town, I'm challenging you to a friendly drinking contest.

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

P.S: Ug, I really wasn't trying to be a b*tch. It's just my nature. I'll try  
>to be nicer from now on, ok?<p>

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

Next time, think of others, hmm? I hope France doesn't find it in your rubbish, then.

-sigh- Look, ignore what I say if my tone sounds rude. Well, _ruder_ than usual... ahaha. I was under stressful situations, and I should not have snapped at you.

No, I don't hate you.

I'd send you alcohol, but unfortunately, since this is the mail, I cannot. But surely our liquor is sold in _America_. Especially in New York. One of my– er, _America's_ original 13 colonies. Plenty of English influence there.

N-no; I... will try to _refrain_ from drinking so much.

Don't apologise. _I_ provoked you.

England


	175. Ohio 1

Arthur,

Arthur, this is Ohio. Mind telling me why DC is laying on the ground  
>hyperventilating?<p>

Sincerely,

Ohio

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

I... _might_ have implied I would... er, burn her, as I did in 1814. Ahahaha...

But really, I was just being snappy. I'm not going to actually _do_ that.

England


	176. Guatemala 4

Now listen here you British egomaniac,

You are going to fucking thank my sister or so help me God I will ask Russia  
>to invade you. Or even better I'll piss El Salvador off again and this time I<br>just won't help you. You wouldn't have gotten so far if Nica hadn't helped.

And El Salvador's fine now, no thanks to you. He's at a therapy session.

Badass!Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

Your logic is flawed, but I won't argue with it. The last thing I need is to handle a rebellion in Central America.

_...thanks_ from me to you and your sister for aiding me.

Oh, because _you_ really helped El Salvador as well. He was off his trolley; why should I have treated him as if he were a wounded bird or something?

England


	177. El Salvador 5

Jeez, you're pissy. More so than usual.

...I, KIDNAPPED Belize? Why the hell would I do that?

I-I don't have him, I swear!

El Salvador

* * *

><p>El Salvador,<p>

Gee, _thanks_.

And yes, you did. The reason is unimportant now. But it appears that you have a split personality and the aggressive one took hold. I don't know what you were thinking, honestly.

You indeed don't have him anymore. He's safe.

England


	178. Belize 17

Hi Papi,

Please don't worry about me. Teruel got me out of the factory before Valencia  
>set it on fire. They're the people big sister Nicaragua got to get me out of<br>there. Please thank her when you get the chance...

And please don't get mad at big brother El Salvador. He can't help that he has  
>a split personality. I know that I should probably be angry at him for<br>kidnapping me, but I don't have the heart to. He's always been nice to me, and  
>his other personality has never done this before. So now I'm just gonna go<br>home.

I'm really sleepy,

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Y-yeah. I did thank them. Sort of.

Oh dear _God_, Belize. _You're too nice_. Not that it's necessarily a _bad_ thing. But... er, _I_ can't really be that nice to people, honestly.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Daw, Belize _is_ cute and is too nice. But where does he get that from? Certainly not England XDDDD**


	179. Kylie 2

Dear England,

I believe that I might of been a little unsespific about my point here. I hate  
>nearly every kind of music people consider popular. I'm more of a country<br>person, really...But is it every part of the American music you despise, or  
>only some?<p>

Hoping to get on better terms,

Kylie.

Oh- Yes, I am, thankyouverymuch.

* * *

><p>Kylie,<p>

_All of it._

There's either teenybopper music or music that is a copy of what _I_ had long ago.

England


	180. Ely 10

England,

…

No you're not going barmy England. I.. I can see him! Aww he's so  
>adorable! *points in a different direction from where he is*<p>

So you've never seen Tony before? EVER? Seriously?

Yes your way makes much more sense. The scoring is also easy to follow. You  
>are indeed a great empire, sir. Your sports are fun! ^_^<p>

Yes. Indeed. Peas are… healthy. I had split pea soup earlier… Umm… Are  
>you feeling alright sir? Because it seems like you might be- *pauses... hugs<br>you, drooling a little* You don't mind if I hug you, do you sir? *giggles*

O_O Oh wow. Uhh… What does rum-dipped fudge brownie taste like? Is it good?

~Confused but Content!Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

Argh, don't mind what I said. I was sloshed. I never make sense then.

I... _tried_ to read what I wrote to you last, but... my handwriting looks like chicken scratch. It doesn't help that I had no idea what I was talking about.

J-just ignore my past ramblings.

Rum-dipped... fudge brownie? _What?_

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wasn't actually going to say anything, heh. Sorry if I confused you. 'What is this I don't even'= used when something so ridiculous or stupid or WTF happens, you have no appropriate response other than that xD**


	181. Madrid 14

Señor Inglaterra,

I once thought to stand behind them, mouth what they were saying, and imitate  
>their hand gestures. I figured they looked stupid enough already, so I didn't<br>bother with it.

It must not be important, then. For some reason, I feel as though it was,  
>though. I must be losing it, if I haven't already.<p>

Wouldn't that make said loon nothing more than a homeless squatter? Sealand is  
>technically 'invading,' too, as he is living in British waters.<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

That's _actually_ pretty funny, haha! The only person who probably has more wild hand gestures while talking is Poland.

It probably wasn't important. Hmm, I was reading it, and I mentioned America and... a ghost? Which, like I said, _not_ important. Who _cares_ what he fears, really. Ghosts aren't even real.

Actually, it's in international waters. But you can't be a nation if your 'land' was manmade, only if it has natural barriers. -frustrated sigh- Sealand and his 'citizens' are too thick-headed to realise their stupidity.

England


	182. Golden Horde 5

Hello, United Kingdom:

Fine, I'll drop the idea of poisoning someone with opium, but Indonesia's  
>ranting to me about that drug laced candy since she got hurt. Il-Khanate was<br>pissed at the Frenchman because he was gonna form an alliance with him at one  
>point but gradually fell out due to the Mamelukes' successful relationship<br>with him. Besides, Il-Khanate didn't like him for his antics.

I wanted to get revenge on Prussia for many reasons, one of them being that he  
>invaded one of Russia's lands. Of course, he intruded inside my turf, which<br>pissed me off. The list goes on, but he even participated in invading the  
>Soviet Union back in WWII. I'm not the only one who hated him, but Dad<br>Mongolia kicked his ass in Legnica.

Finally, I heard that Serbia is having trouble with little Vanya. Hang on,  
>I'll go drag him out of there. Now I'm getting too old to babysit him.<p>

Golden Horde

* * *

><p>Golden Horde,<p>

I can see the reason why, but I don't want to get involved. I would get in _unimaginable_ trouble if I succeeded at nearly killing a nation. We can't die, but you wish you could when you experience pain from wars or conflicts or... opium poisoning. The idea of harming France is _delicious_, but I must be rational and think of the consequences that would lay ahead.

I've been invaded many times too, but I don't hate (most of) the nations who attempted to rule me, or succeeded at it. It's all in the past. For example, Denmark, who used to be a Viking, land and power hungry. But now it's not uncommon for him and I (Prussia also tags along) to go drink.

He might not need your help; he already asked for one of his brother's aid.

England


	183. Prussia 2

Ass,

Yeah its me, problem?

Me? Feminine? I dont go in a dress totally drunk and wake up naked. Wonder how  
>that happened, ey, Chap?<p>

Good luck hunting me down. If you can get the balls to do it! Or you can just  
>give me your shitty food. Anyone would kill at that! Unawesome.<p>

Gilbird is adoriable and awesome, Gott verdammt! And I can actually SEE him,  
>unlike your imaginary friends. I was a nation, and soon to be. Dont get<br>cocky, Scheiße Gesicht!

The Awesome Prussia

* * *

><p>I said <em>belt<em> _up_, Prussia!

..._why_ do I go drinking with you? You're bloody annoying. You're not 'awesome', either. You just murder the use of that word and null its meaning. It used to be a perfectly fine word you used when inspired with awe by something, but now, it's just slang for something you find impressive. Which _you_ are _not_.

Oh, _I'm_ being arrogant? Look at _your_ own use of language.

England


	184. Japan 4

Asa-san...

I am very grateful to you! I am very happy that you hold me in such a light,  
>even when my condition is as such! Please continue to see me in such a manner!<p>

Can I refer to you as Asa-kun now..?

I apologise! Please do not feel complied to such forward thoughts! Ah! Watashi  
>no baka! Please do not think any worse of me! I am being much too forward! Eh!<br>Even now! Gomanasai! Watashi wa hontou baka desu! Bakabakabakabakabaka- *the  
>pen seems to have trailed off*<p>

..I apologise, my sense of self seemed to have suddenly lapsed. Please excuse  
>the words before. It is not of major concern to you, I am certain... Watashi<br>wa hontou baka desu. Hontou Sumimasen desu... (sono koko ni.. anata wa..ima..  
>watashi o kirai desu ka..?)<p>

Iggirisu-san, Thank you for you help and support. I truly appreciate it. I  
>will do as appropriate if I need any assistance. Please allow me to think on<br>your opinion on how I should feel about this issue in the mean time.

Japan

Kiku Honda

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

Why would I start hating you all of a sudden? Honestly, you remind me of America sometimes, ha. You worry too much. Perhaps a visit to London would make you less jittery?

Er, I actually don't remember the difference between those honorifics. I suppose it's fine. They're terms of respect, aren't they? Though just calling me England is fine too, you know. In either language. I appreciate your formality, but it seems like you're _forcing _yourself to act that way_._

Wh-what? Japan, you're acting... _funny_. You should come visit me, really. Maybe we can get you a physician of some sort here. You're not being 'too forward', what ever do you mean? Er... -tries to translate Romaji- Wait! Why are you _scolding_ yourself? Is the radiation getting to you so _severely?_

Stop _apologising_, it makes me think that's all you can say. Aaaand, um, wait, let me try to translate that. Something about me hating you, I believe? _Why_ would you think that?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hints of AsaKiku? OuO Wait, why am I smiling stupidly? -hugs USUK- **

**Eh, I guess England/Japan isn't _so_ bad... hmm.**


	185. Valencia 15

Inglaterra,

IT NEVER HAPPENED!

English is ok, unless you're writing letters DRUNK! Then, it sucks! ¬¬

Hppf!- that's more or less what I meant...

I hope you have a nice hangover :)

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

I apologise. You know, I've never quite gotten how I can write while I am drinking. But until that mysterious matter is solved, ignore those _lovely _little letters, hmm?

My hangover is gone, but were you implying you wanted me to _suffer_ through it?

England


	186. Oslo 2

To Iggy

*hand you a glass of water* Here better right? :3

Yeah, it's more with blue eyes I think, but its not really anything i know  
>anything about.<p>

Come onnnnnn, its a yes or no question~ yes or no~~~? Always bottom or do you  
>top too? I know what youre doing you know...<p>

Love

Emma,

(here also, I sent you some painkillers with the glass of water. It should  
>come with this letter)<p>

* * *

><p>Oslo,<p>

Ah, thanks, but the headache is gone now. But I do have to wonder how everyone _but_ me can sneak items such as this through the mail... the mail's become like airport security, honestly.

. . .

-unamused-

_I'm not going to answer that bloody question!_

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So you speak Norwegian, yes? *u* **

**...I love Norway, sorry xD **

**-srs fayce- Like, have _no clue_ how much o.o**


	187. Golden Horde 6

*hic* UK:

C-Could I b-buy some o-o *hic* y-your s-scones? A-A h-hundred *hic* of them,  
>p-p-please. I-I-I s-s-s-screwed u-up m-my r-relations *hic* with y-you *hic*<br>a-and w-would l-like to m-make i-it u-up *hic* t-t-to y-you b-by e-eating  
>y-your s-scones t-to c-cheer y-you u-up. T-then I'll *hic* d-drink m-more<br>v-vodka m-martini, s-shaken. N-not s-s-s-stirred. *hic* I a-already d-drank  
>*hic* f-f-four b-bottles of *hic* l-l-little V-Vanya's v-v-vodka.<p>

W-what a-am I s-saying? P-perverted *hic* F-Frenchman i-is b-bad a-at  
>r-romance. *hic* W-What? I-I'm h-hearing v-voices? O-Oh, g-gotta g-go n-now<br>*hic*

Crazy!Drunk!Golden Horde

* * *

><p>ARGH WHY IS EVERYONE DRINKING BECAUSE OF ME?<p>

Ahem. Anyway. Sorry for the outburst there. It's just... eh, never mind.

-sigh- You didn't damage your foreign relations with me. I replied to your letter when I was in a bad mood... sorry. We're still on good terms, I assure you.

V-voices? Er, my only advice is to stop drinking right now. The more you drink, the _worse_ the hangover _later_...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay Imma stop for a bit. I need to start thinking of how the hell I'm going to teach my friend Spanish. I was thinking of just winging it xD But clearly that won't work because I'm a bit like Germany. Must. Have. ORDER. So... off to work~**


	188. Spain 4

El diablo,

...what the hell does that even mean? Speak English would ya? or preferably  
>Spanish since English es una idioma muy feo...<p>

...I give up with you.

Spain

P.S. I don't care that you don't care you damn Brit!

* * *

><p>That is English, wanker, albeit the Queen's English. Or are you so ignorant you don't know the British way of writing?<p>

Write in Spanish? Thanks, but no thanks. I won't degrade paper as such.

England

P.S. Well, I don't care that you don't care about me not caring!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bahahaha. Their arguments are so stupid but funny.**


	189. Ohio 2

England,

you.../might/. Did you seriously? Oh wow, I am disappoint man. She seriously  
>takes those threats seriously. So much so that she can't even be in the<br>kitchen with Canada anymore, thanks to YOU convincing him to do it in the  
>first place!<p>

Sincerely,

Ohio

* * *

><p><em>When did I ever convince Canada to burn people ? !<em>

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry the question and exclamation marks are separate, but FF won't let me put them together - - **

**Looks weird, but oh well.**


	190. Hungary 19

E-Englaanddd,

Hospitals are acctually pretty noisey, you know? It's hurting my head...

Oh, right. Uh, alchohol poisioning. Figured you'd want to know why I'm annoyed  
>with hospitals right now. That should be enough of an explanation.<p>

Noo man. I don't wanna go to Roddy's. He'll just be playing the damn piano  
>again...Send me to Luddy's house or something.<p>

Horrid parodies? I would think you would like that one. It's sung by British  
>people...In England...<p>

FEEBLE? I'LL SHOW YA FFEEBLE FFFFFFF-Ahhaha...my headd...

Where's that stupid albino when ya need him...Mhh...

Hungover!Hungary

* * *

><p>YOU'RE IN THE HOSP-?<p>

A-ah. Alcohol poisoning? I-I was thinking you'd crashed your car or something. Good Lord. While inebriation is not fun, at least you'll be alright soon enough.

Germany, unfortunately, drinks beer. You've been so fragile and weak-willed that this would be too much of a temptation, I fear. Austria is abstinent, is he not? You'll be better off with him.

But it's of a_ pop song_. A crime nonetheless, in my opinion.

Just... just get some rest, would you?

I'm _sure_ Prussia will come see you. He has a talent for stalking people.

England


	191. Massachusetts 1

Dear England,

Hey it's me, John K. Jones, or better yet Massachusetts. So do you remember  
>when we dumped all of your tea into the harbor and shot at you guys as the<br>minutemen and stuff. Just thought I'd write you a letter to try to make amends  
>for that. (Achem...dad is making me) But in all fairness that Harbor blockade<br>hurt and your taxes sucked! And your redcoats killed my people in the Boston  
>Massacure- but whatever. I'm totally over that. Maybe sometime we could go out<br>for a drink. I know the best pubs in the city.

Anyways, just here to say hi and how much better I am then New York. Yeah NY  
>you heard me, BETTER THAN YOU!<p>

Sincerely, John K. Jones

Massachusetts

* * *

><p>Massachusetts,<p>

...of _course_ I remember you. Ugh. Those tea crates were worth over a million dollars in today's money, wanker!

What? No, _everyone_ likes taxes! It was perfectly fine to raise them. Besides, I needed revenue because of that stupid frog and his French and Indian War.

Your people caused the 'massacre', _not_ my soldiers! Don't bloody blame it on me!

Hmph. _Maybe_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: History time~! **

**So the Boston Massacre (which I think is too dramatic of a name), in my opinion, was caused by the Americans. See, a British redcoat was looking for a part-time job in Boston, because soldiers back then _totally_ got paid a lot. But the Bostonians weren't too happy about that, because they already didn't want the British army there, though they were only stationed there because British officials felt the city would revolt. The redcoat and some Bostonians they got into a brawl which then escalated, with a squad of redcoats firing at the pissy Bostonians. Take what you will of it, but I don't think the British were to be blamed.**

**And can anyone remember the episode where England tells America something along the lines of him hoping America likes taxes, because the prices for everything are going up? To which America replies 'Go to hell, England!'. Or am I imagining that? o.o**


	192. New York 8

Dear England,

I will. I'm not worried about France. I doubt he'll find anything worthwhile.

Yea! You don't hate me! :) You've just made my day.

I'm under house arrest. I can't go out, which is no problem for me because its  
>been a little chilly these last few days.<p>

Actually, that's probably a good idea.

You're being strangely nice to me? Who are you and what have you done with  
>England?<p>

damn, ignore that hole I made in the paper. I was cleaning, and stumbled upon  
>a long forgotten cabinet full of alcohol. I just couldn't let it go to waste.<br>So this is my, fourth glass of wine. I should really stop. I'm gonna go now.  
>My bottle is almost finished. I'm gonna be so sick.<p>

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

You'd be surprised how _far_ that frog will go.

Er, a-alright?

But don't think that you can just kiss up to me and change my opinion of you getting those atrocities.

H-hey! I can... I can be _nice! _*cough*Thoughit'sbetterbeingsnarky*cough*

The drinking is fun _now_, but the hangover _later_ won't be. I suggest you stop. America could lengthen your house arrest, too.

England


	193. Russia 4

Arthur,

Of course I can get "plastered" as you english Сволочи call it. Oh god, my head aches...

I think She put something in my drink...

I need my pipe and more vodka. What did I even tell you in that last letter?

So, how was the vodka? It was good, da?

When I get back to my country from Serbia, you should visit.

Hungover!Ivan

P.S: Your a drunk, how do you deal with your hangovers? Please tell me or you  
>will meet Mr. Water Pipe<p>

kolkolkolkol...

* * *

><p>Russia,<p>

I'm not going to drink your filthy vodka, wanker!

You were just... acting inebriated.

I'm not g-going to bloody visit you, Russkie!

England

P.S. Uh, er, Singapore suggested to me long ago eating bananas, drinking orange juice, and taking a cold shower. They actually d-did somewhat help. There... satisfied?


	194. Guatemala 5

Not in the mood for dealing with your BS.

Thank you for thanking us. You're welcome.

Still not in the mood for dealing with your BS.

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

It seems I say this a lot-

_Ask me if I care._

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry, that phrase just brings back good memories of my American History class XDD**


	195. Belize 18

Papi,

I'm too... nice? Why? Él Salvador's mi hermano.

He's actually in therapy right now.

Thank you for thanking them. Why don't you and big sister Guatemala not get  
>along?<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

You're- ah, never mind. It's an admirable trait, but don't let others take advantage of you for that.

Yes, one of your sister informed me of it. His current situation with the drug wars is a shame.

I believe history has a name for it. Anglo-Guatemalan Dispute. You should probably hear _her_ side of the story, first.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'll finish the rest of the letters in a bit. Reddit is distracting me ಠ_ಠ**


	196. Serbia 15

Arthur Kirkland

The crisis is over...for now. On my boss's orders, I had to have breakfast  
>with Russia. He only mentioned me becoming one with him a half dozen times.<br>I've been trying to keep him happy with vodka and Burek (Serbian pie). I have  
>no idea what he's doing right now, though a best bet would be looking for more<br>vodka. I think I can handle things fine as long as Russia doesn't spend more  
>than a week here. If we run out of vodka, there's always rakija and<br>Šljivovica to drink. They're both kinds of brandy here in Serbia. The rakija  
>is my own brew.<p>

I got called last night by someone called "The Golden Horde". You know him? He  
>said something about "Little Vanya" and giving me shelter. I don't know him<br>and he was calling from Russia's house.

There's still a lot of tension here regarding Mladic and I think it's taking a  
>toll on my health. My boss is keeping things under control, though.<p>

Russia wants everyone to be one with him regardless of familial relation. Even  
>as Yugoslavia, he was still trying to get me and my family to 'become one with<br>him'. I think the only time I could actually say I loved Russia was during  
>part of World War One when he saved me from getting beaten and capture by<br>Austria and Hungary. Otherwise, he's just a creepy member of an already  
>dysfunctional family.<p>

I'm sending you some Proja so that you can get a taste of Serbian cooking.  
>America might have mentioned something about your culinary skills. For a<br>'hero', he's sure not being of much help. I think he's too caught up in the  
>Middle East to worry about anyone else.<p>

Damjan Nemanjić

PS. Did I mention that Russia managed to find several crates of vodka last  
>night and got completely drunk? I have no idea how much he had only that a few<br>crates I had in the cellar were empty this morning.

* * *

><p>Damjan,<p>

Why does your boss want you to be friends with Russia? Keeping him on your good side may _seem_ like a good idea so he won't bother to ask if you want to be one with him, but in his mind, you've probably already part of him or whatever he calls that. You can't be too wary around Russia. If you give him anything other _than_ vodka, I think that purple aura would emanate from him. Just a... just a _hunch_.

You don't... you don't know h-him... -facepalm- In that case, it would be useless explaining anything.

So you're not feeling well and have Russia _around? _That, er, may not _end_ well.

That is, erm, disturbing beyond... beyond... bloody hell, I can't even think of words _descriptive_ enough. Why did Russia have to turn out so... so..._ insane?_

My cooking is not _that _b-bad! Stupid America. Like _he_ has a great taste in cuisine... and yeah, the Middle East. Baffles me how he can fight so many wars at once. Then again, he's always been surprisingly strong, ever since childhood. Of course, _I_ have to help him out as well, because of NATO and all those organisations.

No, you didn't mention that but, er, I might have... known.

England


	197. British Columbia 12

Uncle Iggy,

... Oh, good GOD. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

If you're gonna mail me while you're hammered, I'm cracking one of Dad's beers  
>as well.<p>

And it's a good thing you're making fun of the Stanley Cup while sloshed,  
>because otherwise I'd be going after you with a hockey stick. However, since<br>you're so desperately inebriated, I won't teach you how to fight on the ice~

And we all know you love Uncle Al. If you didn't, you wouldn't go on and on  
>and on about him while drunk.<p>

Crap. Already need another beer... Ah well. Gilbert keeps bringing Dad six  
>packs whenever he comes to visit, so it's not like I'll run out.<p>

Love,

LyrA. Not Lyre.

PS. That hangover has to be nasty~

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

BLOODY IGNORE THAT!

And yeah... I _suppose_ it's only fair. _Wonderful_ example in my part...

I _know_ what the Stanley Cup is. It's a competition where bunch of grown men with wooden sticks chase after a puck. All on ice. Yeah, a great '_sport_'. Pfft. Only you Canadians and Americans bother to watch it, and America's number of hockey fanatics aren't _that_ high.

...belt up.

Prussia _visits_ Canada?

Oh, and the hangover has thankfully passed.

England


	198. Valencia 16

England

Apoligise accepted u.u

I'll just ignore them

I suffered because of those letters so difficult to read, so... It was only  
>fair if you also suffered :D<p>

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Wh-what?

But reading those letters penned while I was drunk is an _option_.

Ah, then again, so is writing them. But I still haven't figured out _how_ I do that.

England


	199. Teruel 1

England

You're a bad father. You had to go help Belize but someone my sister and I  
>went to that factory. And I wanted to take a siesta.<p>

I hate you

Teruel

Good luck with Spanish~~

Buena suerte con el español~~

* * *

><p>Teruel,<p>

What's that thing I make everyone ask me?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hint- it's a question about his level of caring.**


	200. Madrid 15

Señor Inglaterra,

This is a bit off-handed, but Polish tourists are fun. They're very fun. Much  
>more so than the Americans.<p>

...Huh. America's fears don't matter, no. They don't affect Spain, so I don't  
>care. However, don't you grant citizenship to ghosts? It sounds like a fun<br>practice, to do so.

Never thought I'd say it, but send Russia after him? No. That would be too  
>cruel. Or would it?<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Oh, I wasn't mocking them. We've been getting a lot of Polish immigrants. It's slightly crowded, but I don't mind them. I was referring to Poland her-I mean, _himself_. Have you _seen_ him talk? It's almost as if he's Italy.

...yeah, we do. But that doesn't mean I'm fully convinced that they're real. I mean, I think I saw one at this 'haunted' hotel once, but it could have all been a gimmick. I still haven't made up my mind as to whether they exist or not.

I feel iffy about that. He's only a _child_, however annoying he may be. To deal with Russia seems awfully mean. Then again, the rest of us have had to at some point, so if he thinks he's a nation, perhaps _he_ should too.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 200 letters~ Thanks to all of you! :D This time, the honour goes to Madrid.**


	201. Ely 11

England,

Oh my. The mighty British empire-gentleman getting drunk? Aren't you afraid  
>of shaming your ancestors? What of your reputation? What if Her Highness found<br>out about it? How very, very shameful of you to behave in such a- Oh who am I  
>kidding, please invite me next time you start to drink! I'll be 21 in August<br>but I don't know the drinking age over in your place. Either way, I'm very  
>close to joining you. :D<p>

You were talking about how wonderfully nice I am and you promised you would  
>hug me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. You PINKY PROMISED. You swore an<br>oath you would do so. Please don't go back on your word as a gentleman.  
>*pouts*<p>

And yes. I sent you a fudge brownie which you so enthusiastically dipped into  
>rum. Wonder what that tasted like.<p>

~Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

I c-can't _help_ it! If I could control it, believe me, I would. Her Majesty... may _not_ know about that, ahahaha...

Wait, _what?_ Er. Actually, in the United Kingdom, you're already of drinking age. But I don't recommend doing it either way. Hypocritical remark, I know.

_WHAT? _I-I'm pretty sure I would re-_remember_ something like that! Ahahaha... ohdearGod.

I don't... know. Unaware I ever _had_ a b-brownie. Then again, I was drunk.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Herp derp in my part, then xD Also, your 2nd paragraph? Started to choke from how hard I was laughing. Choking on bloody_ air_.**


	202. Portugal 1

Dear Inglaterra,

Olá meu querido amigo. How have you been? Probably not so well since my  
>little brother has been writing to you. Desculpe, I guess he'll never stop<br>hating you. Honestly, I wish you two could get along.

Anyways, I hope you'll visit me soon ;or if you want, I could come visit you  
>(whichever one is more easier for you). I hope to hear from you soon.<p>

Sincerely,

Portugal (Silvia Dias)

* * *

><p>Portugal,<p>

Ah, it's pleasant to hear from you! Haha, your assumption is correct. Your brother is... hmm, well, I don't want to use colourful language, because though I dislike him, you _are_ his sister. I will never know _how_ he is related to you. We don't get along because of past history. And current. Gibraltar, anyone?

I'd rather have you visit, honestly. I'm afraid if I go anywhere near Spain's borders, a bunch of tomatoes and churros and whatever the hell he eats will be pelted at me from him.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ohai~! You do España's letters~! :D And no, you haven't written in as Portugal here yet.**


	203. America 11

Ok ok I won't say dude anymore...maybe. I'm not a whore. I just have a huge  
>piece of land meaning I end up with more kids. Awww you don't want to go with<br>me? Fine then I'll just have to go to your house and bring some of my own  
>American made beer. I hope you like bud light.<p>

~ America

ps, admit it. You wore that outfit to last year's Christmas party. You don't  
>have to be ashamed it looks good on you :)<p>

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Don't necessarily stop _saying_ it. You wouldn't _be_ America if your vocabulary did not consist of monosyllabic expressions. Just don't address me like that. It's informal. And I don't like it, either.

*cough*stillawhore*cough* ...why are you looking at me like that, America? I said nothing. I simply coughed_. -_innocent smile- _Really._

Your beer tastes disgusting and has the appearance of urine. It's also not very strong. Honestly, _water_ has a more bitter taste than your '_beers_'.

That. Outfit. Is. Not. _Real. _Understood or do I have to make this clearer, git?

England


	204. Prussia 3

Ass,

You go because you have like...no friends maybe? Keskeskes!

Want me to get a description for the word, maybe? Would that help you?

Definition of 'Awesome': [1]-Something epic or amazing. [2]-ME.

What? You dont think you dull down any 'bloody' words, ey? Your people must  
>really be anti-social, or bored. Really. Cuz they suck, to be honest. At<br>everything. Maybe except enforcing the law. Which is lame.

The Awesome Prussia

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

I do too! I'm still a nation and have political ties to many others. _You're_ the Billy no-mates.

No, I believe the second definition was actually under 'awful', but your eyesight wondered and attributed that to 'awesome'. They _are_ very near each other in the dictionary, so I wouldn't blame you for that.

They do not! But at least I _have_ people I can call my citizens. You technically shouldn't _exist_. People don't even _know_ who you are. Go on, ask a random stranger in the street what Prussia was. At least eighty per cent won't know. I, on the other hand, am acknowledged. Our accents are widely liked. You, being German, sound like you're trying to hack up a hairball at all times.

England


	205. Spain 5

Inglaterra,

Of course it's English you dumbass! But no one but damned Brits understand  
>British slang, tu idiota!<p>

Pfft. Spanish is a considerably better language than English-even French is  
>better.<p>

Spain

P.S God this is ignorant.

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

You should _learn_ it, then. Know what lovely words I'm calling you.

Spanish? HA. I laugh at how stupid you are.

England

P.S. _You_.


	206. Guatemala 6

BS. That's all that comes out of your mouth.

I would insult you further, but I'm making la cena for Belize. So I'm going to  
>be polite to mi hermano instead of be rude like you are.<p>

Guatemala

* * *

><p>It's not being rude if it's true.<p>

England


	207. Belize 19

Hola Papi~

Oh, okay. And I normally don't let people take advantage of me. Remember WWII?

Si, it is. Maybe that's why Gundam came out much harsher than he normally  
>does.<p>

Okay, I'll ask her about it after dinner.

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Ah, yes I do. You did excellently then. Didn't know you had that sort of valour in you.

_Gundam? _That's an, er, Japanese anime, is it not? I'm... confused.

England


	208. New York 9

Dear England,

No, I don't think I would be. 49 sisters and brothers, remember?

I never thought that. I'm still getting them, just not for a while. Dad and I  
>reached an agreement. I could get a belly-button ring for my birthday. No<br>tattoo thought.

lol. It's nice to know the England we all know and love hasn't vanished.

I have to ask, do you share some sorta mental thing with my dad because, I  
>swear, sight after I sent the letter, he came in. He took away my wine!<p>

Oh, I heard Massachusetts said something about me, the idiot. I dislike him  
>almost as much as I dislike Jersey! He's so fucking annoying. Always going on<br>about how he's "better" then me. We all know you can't beat New York.

Don't even joke about Dad doing that! I'm slowly going stir-crazy here! Next  
>thing you know, I'll be taking to myself!<p>

Ug! I feel sick to my stomach. I think I had to much wine!

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

But surely not _all_ of them are perverted?

Are you sure you won't regret it? What would you think of it in 10 years, and would it _really_ be that important? You can't exactly get rid of them easily or pain-free.

-scoff- When have I ever 'vanished'?

No, I don't. Maybe he's just getting smarter and disciplining you all better.

I'd rather not get in the way of this sibling rivalry. But why d'you hate him? You three are part of the original 13 colonies. I'd expect more of an affinity between you.

Don't say I didn't I warn you. Take heed of my advice next time.

England


	209. Ohio 3

England,

Well, if I remember right-and it isn't just me screwed up history  
>speaking-even though Canada was still you territory during 1814, it was still<br>the inhabitants of CANADA who burned Washington. Correct me if I'm wrong, but  
>wouldn't that technical make them Canadians?<p>

Love,

Ohio

P.S. tell you the truth, I don't think D.C. was even alive at that time. She  
>didn't actually show up until well after that, somewhere around the early<br>1900's, I think. So DC was still un-personified at the time~

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

Mainly, it was my soldiers burning it. But they were avenging, in part, the American invasion of Upper Canada. Canadians probably took part in it, but I can't recall that detail.

England

P.S. I wouldn't know that, either. I burned Washington nonetheless.


	210. Hungary 20

So that's what inebriated means...hm. Yeah, I should be okay soon. I think  
>they said my stomach was pumped? Ah, whatever.<p>

BUT EENGGGLLAAAANNDDDD Luddy is a hard ass he wouldn't let me have any of his  
>beer. He'd sooner wack me upside the head! Just don't make me go to Roddy's. I<br>don't feel like it. The piano will give me headaches. And it reminds me  
>of...stuff.<p>

Oh? and is it also a crime to be a punk? Hm?

I would, but I have a shared room. This old chick won't shut up. KNOCK IT OFF  
>WITH THE MORPHINE ALREADY WOULDYA? DAMN!- Oww...<p>

Pfft, doubt that. Dick is so unreliable...hope you're right for once though.

Ah, I Needta Think,

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>Elizaveta,<p>

That's what happens when you drink yourself into oblivion. Don't get so sloshed next time, alright? You can't die, but you can still experience pain.

I know you, Elizaveta. You'd be willing to swipe it when he wasn't looking. You may not like Roderich, but I know that he's courteous to you. Don't be so childish and whine about it. Besides, he's a very good pianist. Classical music has been shown to soothe, you know.

B-belt up! Just because you're in the hospital doesn't mean I'm going to treat you like a princess.

Always thinking of others before yourself, aren't you, hmm? Let the nurses do their job and _help_ you.

We'll have to see.

England


	211. New England 1

Dear Ah-England,

Hey. After much thought(more like freakin' threats against my life! Damn  
>states) I decided to write to you.<p>

No, this isn't a joke-Wait, you wouldn't even know why you would think that,  
>would you? Ugh, no of course not. Not when you barely even remember me- Never<br>mind, I tend to ramble a lot.*other crossed out words here*

If I cross things out, just ignore them. Doesn't matter.

Anyway, Alfred and other states(who actually like to talk to me) wanted me to  
>write to you. I really just DONT want to bother, sadly I have to live with<br>some of them; 6 of them to be exact. Actually, one of them you've already  
>received a letter from, unless the mail is being wicked slow.<p>

Fact is if I didn't do this I'd have them all breathing down my back  
>eventually, and I'm sure you're familiar with how 'fun' that is. Yeah.<p>

Ugh, Al-Dad, won't stop it with the hamburgers- I SAID I DON'T WANT ANY  
>FUCKING HAMBURGERS YOU IDIOT! Also, he wants me to call him dad. It's<br>annoying.

I guess I should cut this here. I don't care either way if you even  
>acknowledge this damn letter or not,<p>

From

Ian L. Jones

*This is in someone else's handwriting*

AKA. New England

* * *

><p>New England,<p>

Firstly, I'd like to say I really like your name.

Secondly, yes, I know who you are, obviously. Americans may be oblivious to their own regions, but I'm not. Especially when it was _my_ king that set charters for your colonisation.

Indeed. Massachusetts. If you don't want to write to me, that's perfectly acceptable. I'm not forcing you to, and neither should they.

Well, he _is_ your father, like it or not.

England


	212. Japan 5

Asa-san..Iie, Asa-kun... (Dame desu! I have not gotten permission to call him  
>in such a close manner!) *shaky writing* I-Iggirisu-san..? Ah... Hai...<br>Iggirisu...san... desu.. ne...

..Iggirisu-san.. I thank you for you gracious invitation.. Please allow me to  
>think on it in the mean time. I do not wish to worry you any more with my<br>incompetent mind and unchecked feelings. I fear if I do accept in my current  
>state.. the consequences for me would be much too dire.. Forgive me for saying<br>such weak and dishonorable things but... I do not think I would be able to  
>handle it if what I do... causes us to be... Forgive my inadequacies..<p>

Eh! You- you do not remember of my honorifics...? I-I see. I apologize.. I  
>have hoped for too much... (Far.. too much...) Asa- Iie, ..Iggirisu-san..<br>h-how much do you.. did you...*the paper seems to be slightly damp and  
>crumpled..* P-perhaps we could move to a different topic..?<p>

Iie.. Iggirisu-san... It is not the radiation affecting me... It has just made  
>me very weak.. Ah, I mean that it has only weakened me slightly and is not a<br>cause of concern! But truly, that.. is not.. the cause... I truly am an  
>idiot.. to be like this.. to risk such things...to be so unworthy.. I fear you<br>will hate me As-..Iggirisu-san.. should it be let out...

I pray that outcome would never happen.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>You're speaking in riddles, Japan. You say to 'forgive your inadequacies', but I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. What ever '<em>dishonourable<em>' subject you're talking about is all in your head. I'm not going to know what you're talking about unless you state so clearly.

-blinks- What? Er, I suppose?

Again,_ what? _I can't read your mind, Japan.

You're really nervous, even in your writing.

Stop lying, it's blatant something is wrong. I told you, a physician would help. After being hit with an earthquake, tsunami, and a nuclear accident, it's fine that you're acting this way.

I don't know what you're_ talking_ about, though! You're over-worrying.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: England, y u so stupid?**


	213. Oslo 3

To Iggy,

You could try with your magic~

It's okay, I guess I'll ask America instead then~

* * *

><p>Oslo,<p>

That would not be the appropriate thing to do. I could bypass many laws with my magic, but that's unfair and not what one should do.

DON'T BLOODY DO THAT! Why d'you want to know, anyway? It's.. it's... -exasperated sigh-

England


	214. Teruel 2

England,

Let me think... Something that you make everyone ask you?

I don't think it's related to your eyebrows, is it? :3

Tal vez es... (Maybe it's...) "What's your username in WOW?"

just joking. Everybody knows your username is "J'aimeLaFrance" ~~

Nah, seriously.

Do you care about your family? Because it doesn't seem so. Has it something to  
>do with your childhood? Trauma? Mmm... Not that I really care... But I think<br>France is right. You need love. Not his. Anyone should need his love u.u

Teruel

* * *

><p>Teruel,<p>

_Obviously_, git! _Obviously_ it's a question!

But it's not _that_ one!

...or _that_. Since you didn't know, the question was "Do I care?" to which the answer is no, I don't care. An-

_WHAT?_ CERTAINLY _NOT _THAT! I _LOATHE_ THAT FROG. HE CAN FALL IN A FIERY HOLE AND BURN TO HIS DEATH.

I don't bloody play World of Warcraft, either!

My family? If by that you mean the sods that are Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, then _hell no_.

I-I have _love!_ Just because I don't discuss my private matters does not mean everyone can assume that I'm some lonely old git. Which I'm _not_.

England


	215. Madrid 16

Señor Inglaterra,

Oh, I know. I've never met Poland, but if he's like Feli, he sounds like fun!  
>Not to mention, clueless.<p>

Good point. I voluntarily help the tour guides by making Enrique howl when  
>they walk down my street. I love the reactions. Gimmicks can be very fun.<br>Heheh. I suppose they don't help convince skeptics, though, so I can see why  
>you.<p>

I've never met the man, but I've met his children, so I think Sealand should.  
>Even most of his children are scary. Since Sealand is a "micro-nation," maybe<br>Moscow could send one of the Russian villages to... ni... visit, if I may.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

That pretty much sums up Poland. I tried to recruit him for the Allies during World War 2, you know, but he was so completely_ out of it_, I had to leave.

D'you have 'haunted' places? Because if you're doing that simply to scare tourists, then... that's _brilliant_, haha!

Argh! Don't convince me to. I'm forced to act as a sort of parent figure to that git. That idea is very tempting, but unfortunately Her Majesty would decline a Russian invasion of Sealand. Besides, the git would probably take it the wrong way and assume that because other nations are visiting him, _he's_ one too! As happened with the German diplomat.

England


	216. Tel 1

Dear Mr. England

Oh gods above! when i heard you were accepting letters i jumped right on in  
>and sent this your way! I'm canadian, eh! You know, the awesome country, the<br>one where every other country is leaping at to get the oil from the sand  
>pits...<p>

ashamed of them too, mind you. destroying the country i live in. haahaa i'm a  
>'tree-hugger'. and yes, while it means i care about the earth, i do hug trees<br>to be sarcastic! :3

so how is your country doing? is america bother you? i can be a very scary  
>person! :3 cause it's the quiet ones that are the most... how do i put it in<br>simple terms? EVIL!

haahaa. sorry, i ramble! do you believe in the supernatural? like people  
>seeing things that no one else can? i heard america has a alien, but i think<br>it's all lies. -pout- like come on, aliens are so over-rated! plus, i've never  
>been to america, they kind of scare me... o.O<p>

oh, i guess i should stop talking! :3 hope everything is well with you mr.  
>england! write back!<p>

canadian tree-hugger

-'Tel

P.S - that's my nickname :3

P.S.S - oh and thanks for taking you time with this Mr. England.

* * *

><p>Tel,<p>

I know what Canadia is, of course! (I think he was my territory at one point...?)

While it is harmful to the environment, it's necessary to get petrol. It consumes most of our lives, now. Which is why scientists are trying to make new energy sources, so we don't kill of all the animals that live in those Arctic and Antarctic oil reserves.

I'm doing quite well, thank you. No, America... doesn't really _bother_ me. He's just _America_. He can't really help it.

I believe in magic, not really supernatural. Iffy about ghosts, but _certain_ that aliens are nonexistent. _Finally_, someone else who also thinks this!

D'you mean Americans scare you, or '_aliens_' scare you? Because American's aren't scary, just... slightly annoying, for the most part.

England


	217. Spain 6

Inglaterra,

Fucking ridiculous...

Maldita sea, que los ingleses son todos iguales. Siempre mordiendo algo que no  
>existe. He intentado ser lo más respetuosa posible, porque de mi hermana,<br>pero usted es un hacer esta extremadamente difícil.

Ir morir en un agujero en alguna parte - al menos en mis equipos de fútbol no  
>chupar.<p>

El Reino de España

PD: Fuck off-for Christ's Sake can't you say anything intelligeble?

_Translation_

_God damn, you Englishmen are all the same. Always biting at something not_  
><em>there. I've tried to be as respectful as possible because of my sister, but<em>  
><em>you're a making this extremly difficult.<em>

_The Kingdom of Spain_

_Go die in a hole somewhere-at least my football teams don't suck. _

* * *

><p>Anything <em>else<em> you'd like to add, perhaps to actually infuriate me and not make me laugh at your pathetic attempts at insulting me?

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oshit, he didn't actually address Spain by his name. And he used his full, official name too. Not good.**


	218. Valencia 17

England~

Let's change the topic...

I've heard that you won't write a letter to España in Spanish...

I don't mean to pry but, why? You wrote to me in Spanish, why wouldn't you do  
>the same with España?<p>

Ohh... I saw that Teruel was writing to you... And laughing... So, sorry if he  
>said something bad about you. Or about your eyebrows.<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Oh, I can _write_ in Spanish, alright, but not to bloody _Spain_, of all people.

Because he's an arrogant arsehole and I won't give him the satisfaction of it, that's what.

Don't apologise for your family. If we _all_ did that, the only words ever out of my mouth would be 'I'm sorry.' Sorry for those sods' _existence! _

Narked!England


	219. Teruel 3

England

Maybe if you kissed that frog, it will become you prince, little princess of  
>the land in the middle of nowhere :)<p>

No... you don't play WOW. And Valencia doesn't like burning things. Ha!

Your family are sods? I agree with you, ALL the member of your family are sods

And no, you're not a lonely old git. You're... still young. but I think that  
>the other two things were right u.u<p>

Teruel

* * *

><p>Don't <em>you<em> take after your father, you filthy dago wanker?

Narkedl!England


	220. Hungary 21

Arthur,

I don't know where Oblivion is, so I can't really drink myself to it now can  
>I?<p>

Snippyness?: Check. Nice to know thats still working fine.

Oh yes, I think out of the both of us I would know that more.

Why, whatever makes you think that? I'm off binge drinking for a little while,  
>Seriously.<p>

but being childish means you're a child. AND I LOVE THE YOUTH.

Also, yes he's a good pianist, but I had enough of that lovely experience when  
>we were married.<p>

Know what? Fine.(I'll just sneak off to Luddy's later.)

Awww, but you're supposed to be King Arthur, Yes? You have a fetish for  
>princesses don't you? -OOOHH. I know what to get Alfie for his birthday noww~<p>

Yes, I'm quite hospitable, even in the hospital. HA. HA.

I never said I was causing them a hard time...You must see into the future.

Why don't you? With your magical vision! OoOoOoOoOoOoOo~

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>Ha, ha. Very funny. Watch how <em>enthusiastically<em> I cheer at your comedic genius!

-silence-

You love youth because you know you'll _never_ be one of them again, wanton. Or is it because they fulfill the sexual desires you obviously don't get anymore, you munter?

You're willing to drink _more? Great_ life choices, Hungary. Write a book so the rest of the world may get a share of your brilliancy! Not only do you have a great sense of humour, but you're an intellectual! _Must_ be why other geniuses like Prussia flock to you!

_More_ great puns! Your talent in comedy is _outstanding_. You could rival Germany.

Narked!England


	221. New England 2

England,

Of course you would. It's yours.

I wasn't so sure, because people tend to forget, that and last time you  
>visited when I was acctually around you didn't really notice. Although that<br>was a while ago. Also I think I was playing video games. Eh, whatever.

Oh yeah. Those stupid charters. Hated that thing...

No, you're not as agrivating as I first thought, so I guess I should just keep  
>going. Maybe this will personally make me feel less, scornful? I don't even<br>know.

Well, it is them, so even if it isn't right they'll do it anyway-

...The idiot just fell asleep on my floor. I swear, I should freaking burn all  
>your burgers and posters of Justin Bieber, damn...*this entire paragraph is<br>crossed out*

Y-You didn't see that! Yeah? Okay. Hahaa. A-ahahaa...

I really need to start writing in pencil.

Acctually no. We practically grew up at the same time; we look about the same  
>age too, though I'm shorter. If anyone is my dad then its...you.<p>

Fuck,

Ian L. Jones(New England)

* * *

><p><em>WHY<em> THE BLOODY HELL WOULD _I_ BE YOUR _FATHER?_

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: inb4 Maury "You ARE NOT the father!"**

**Also, I love how England skipped over everything and just saw that last part XD**


	222. Bristol and Bath 1

Dear Dad/Father,

It's me and Bath 'ere. Americawl 'as nicked Chane Shum's choclut! Could you  
>ask the wanker to give it back? As you know, Chane Shum's only a dapper and<br>cannave the Queen Anne's Revenge back?

It is me, Bath. What Bristol is trying to say that America has taken  
>Keynsham's chocolate and we were hoping that you could persuade him to give it<br>back as Keynsham is only a child. And he wants his ship back.

From your loving sons,

Bristol and Bath

* * *

><p>Bristol and Bath,<p>

I bloody _well_ know what's going on with Keynsham. Cadbury's was bought by the bastards at Kraft '_Foods_'.

Blackbeard's ship is off the coast in bloody _North Carolina_, not in _here_.

I can't help you with either of those subjects because I don't have any damn control over them.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Holy crap I actually knew what Keynsham and Queen Anne's Revenge were without help! XD Thanks for the note anyway, but I already knew (: **

**Excuse England's _wonderful _attitude towards his sons. People (er, nations? States?) have been giving him trouble.**


	223. Golden Horde 7

Hello, United Kingdom:

Didn't you at least conquer one of Spain's colonies during the Seven Years'  
>War? I believe it was Philippines, wasn't it? It was a shame you never got to<br>keep that colony for a while. Spain sure does neglect some colonies so bad,  
>they'd end up looking like crap. At least you defeated Spain a couple of<br>times, though I'm not sure whether you were simply a gentleman or a pirate at  
>that time. I don't know.<p>

So Serbia doesn't know who I am yet, eh? Back during my conquests of Europe,  
>one of Serbia's old bosses named Stefan Dusan kicked the crap out of Nogai<br>Khan's army so I actually got my ass handed to me by him. I also wonder who  
>would win in a war between Spain and Turkey. Also, did you buy your tea from<br>China or India? I actually bought mine from China, though Yao insisted that  
>his tea was better.<p>

Golden Horde

P.S.: I'm currently making plushie dolls of every nation. Right now, I can't  
>decide on what to put for the England plushie doll. I made a Hungary,<br>Chibitalia and France plushie doll, though you'd want the latter for your  
>punching bag. I might also make an America plushie doll too.<p>

* * *

><p>Golden Horde,<p>

I only held Manila, I believe it was. That was an awfully long time ago. But yes, I did conquer a colony of Spain's, haha! If _briefly_. But it shows that wanker is _weak_. If only I had had more colonies... the British Empire would have been even greater. We would still be in power. We would have spanned the _whole_ planet, not just 2/3. If we still had control over the territories, we would have _revolutionised_ the world under grand British rule. Maybe that git Ireland wouldn't have seceded. Maybe America would still be under my control. Maybe the Statute of Westminster never would have happened, and there would be no bloody Commonwealth of Nations, but just territories under British reign.

Ha! A _gentleman?_ When have I _ever_ been that? Certainly, you don't attach that _word_ to those who raid Spanish ships, rob the unworthy of treasure, and plunder.

I'm the Kingdom of England.

A pirate.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: England was already mad, but now he's _really_ mad. Probably because of the mentioning of Spain, the Seven Years' War, and colonies. Brought back memories from the Glory Days, perhaps?**

**But anyway. Welcome, Elizabethan-era pirate England! I hope you stick around for a while~!**


	224. Native America 1

Dear Mr Arthur,

I have been wondering who you delt with the break up with America, he seemed  
>so kind at first- and then- he started to attack me... But Canada provided<br>help- same with you for some time in the Great War. But I think the word you  
>might be looking for to describe America is 'Fat taker' (or fat stealer) It<br>means someone who takes and takes and takes but when it's time to give back  
>they turn there back on you- I have had this feeling before too, America is a<br>fat taker. *sniffles*

But on with my questions, What is it like in England? I have never been there  
>exept for a couple thousand of my citizens who were- er- forced into<br>slavery... *grips tomahawk*

Also, could you please kill España for me? He was one of the reasons I am  
>dying so that would be nice..<p>

Thank youu for answering the question if you have and please give my regards  
>to France. You may not like him but he's a kind hearted soul when you get to<br>know him better. God save the Queen,

Chochmingwu (Corn Mother/ Native America)

* * *

><p>America? You mean where I made Roanoke Colony? An utter failure, but I'm assured that my colonisation will be <em>much<em> more productive in the future. I have a feeling.

As for Canada, I have not heard about that land yet. But I assume it's more territory? Heh heh... it will be _mine_ soon enough. For England's glory! For Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth I!

Spain has got _nothing_ on me... I already defeated his '_mighty_' Armada. In his weakened state, taking all that is his will be _easy_.

I'll do one favour for you, and that's to kill Spain.

It would be my _utmost_ pleasure.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And so it begins.**


	225. Guatemala 7

Don't know how the hell people put up with you.

And it's not true. You're terribly delirious. Should I make fun of how  
>*wonderfully* you raised some of your protectorates? Belize seems to be the<br>only normal one.

Guatemala

* * *

><p><em>Who<em> the bloody hell are _you?_

Are you _Spain's_ colony? Your name sounds _suspiciously_ Spanish.

Pirate!England


	226. Belize 20

Hola Papi,

That's what happens when I got to war. Something just seems to come over me.

Oh, si! I watched that anime. But that's the name I gave Él Salvador's other  
>personality, since he doesn't have one. You're the only one that knows I call<br>him that.

Belize

* * *

><p>Who are <em>you?<em>

Wait, _you're_ that bloke who is controlled and colonised by _Spain_.

...not for long.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm actually doing history research for this o3o I hope my facts aren't screwed up. To quote the immortal words of France, "That would suck!"**

**Oh and I'm going by the Elizabethan period here (1558-1603), but I'm allegorising certain events, e.g. how English buccaneers eventually settled in Belize. **


	227. America 12

So that outfit doesn't exist? Hm guess it was all a dream then. My beer is  
>really that gross? Oh ok but I'm still coming over to your place. I guess I'll<br>ask Germany for his beer if you really think mine sucks that much. I'll see  
>you tonight<p>

With all my love, America

(it's brief but I'm busy. Afghanistan is being a pain in the ass right now)

* * *

><p>Wh-what are you doing writing?<p>

Last I saw you, you were a small, weak thing.

Just because Roanoke failed does _not_ mean I'm through colonising you.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Dammit, why did Jamestown have to be four years after Elizabeth's reign was through? =D= Could've had fun with that.**


	228. Ohio 4

Makes sense, hell, even the historians (not that they even know as much as we  
>do) were confused about it, and they know just about anything. I know Mattie<br>was pretty peeved about that.

Love,

Ohio

P.S. That's...kinda cruel.

* * *

><p>I don't know you.<p>

So who are you, and are you allied with Spain at all?

Because if you are, you are my enemy.

Pirate!England


	229. Madrid 17

Señor Inglaterra,

Now that's just a bit scary.

Si, several ghost tours run throughout the city. One of them just happens to  
>go through my street. Gracias!<p>

Sealand irks me. I've met him before. I feel bad for the poor Germans who had  
>to deal with that. Why're you stuck parenting him?<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p><em>YOU'RE SPAIN'S CAPITAL!<em>

THE _BLOODY_ HELL ARE YOU DOING HAVING ANY CONTACT WITH ME?

Pirate!England


	230. New England 3

MAYBE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING ASSIMILATED ME!

Pissed!NewEngland

* * *

><p>'Assimilate'?<p>

The English have just barely arrived in the New World.

But I am _not_ going to let the filthy Dutch and French traders steal my business.

Pirate!England


	231. British Columbia 13

Uncle Iggyyyy,

Y-You keep giving me perfect blackmail material and then telling me I can't  
>use iiit. You're l-lucky I love you, 'cause otherwise you would be sooo<br>screwed.

What? Y-you hoser! Don't even badmouth hockey! N-next time I see you, I'm  
>g-gonna... I'm gonna... I'll... Ah, forget it! Pfffhahaha. I can't think of<br>anything!

W-Well, DUH. Dad and Prussia are tooootally banging. Y-You kidding me?  
>Ahahaha~ Least he brings beer whenever he comes over. Mmm~ Oh. Shit. Need a<br>new one~

Love youuuu, Uncle Iggy. Lots and lots and lots~

Love, love, love, love,

Li... Ly... Le...

H-How do I spell my name again...?

-Tipsy!Lyra

* * *

><p>I have never heard of 'British Columbia'.<p>

Surely, you are mistaking whatever rubbish that is for Newfoundland.

Though that sounds like a _splendid_ name for a future territory.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoa wait, so we have implied PruCan_ and_ implied PruHun? x-x**

**Is Prussia a whore?**


	232. Hungary 22

England,

...I was just kidding, jeez. You really do have a short fuse.

More than we can say about you, Mr. Wanker.

Look who's talking, your ass is more clentched than Austria's.

NO. STOP BEING SUCK A DICK. I JUST WANTED TO GO TO LUDWIG'S HOUSE. THAT TOO  
>MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?<p>

You know what, Tea-Sipper? At least Prussia never ripped himself away from me  
>for independence from me. Don't go backsassing the guy I'm for just because<br>you're tampons aren't working. Shoving them up your ass isn't going to work,  
>by the way.<p>

No, but you sure could rival him.

Swear to Isten,...

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>The Kingdom of Hungary?<p>

You're that pathetic little country that is losing terribly to the ottoman Empire are you not?

You should not mock me. Learn from those better than you, who can _achieve_ victory.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: While England flourished during this time period, Hungary was a kingdom and involved in the Ottoman-Habsburg Wars. Note Habsburg is the same as Hapsburg.**

**But if I'm wrong, please correct me Dx So much to read crap, I may get facts confused.**


	233. Valencia 18

England

If you keep talking that way about Spain I'll burn you down! Starting with  
>your huge eyebrows!<p>

Now, I understand why you live in an island... Thanks god for that one!

I'm sure they're also sorry for your existence. I think every nation, state  
>and city in the world is!<p>

A slightly angry Valencia

* * *

><p>I'll talk about that wanker Spain any way I want!<p>

_You're_ just another paltry little city of his.

I should hold you under siege for slandering me.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A century later, England did just that.**


	234. Teruel 4

England,

I'm (kind of) proud of being one of Spain's city!

At least I KNOW what having friends is! The closest you'll ever get is...  
>France!<p>

You know.. I pity you

Teruel

* * *

><p>That is a <em>pitiful<em> thing to hold pride in.

Why are you bloody _Spanish_ cities in contact with me?

I still don't like that frog, no matter how many times I fight alongside him.

Funny thing about the pity? The feeling is _mutual_.

Pirate!England


	235. Guatemala 8

Inglaterra,

I'm Guatemala.

Naw, really? Si, I was colonized by Spain. You're the bastard that took mi  
>hermano away from me.<p>

Sorry, love. You're in the wrong time period. It's currently 2011, not the  
>1500's.<p>

Guatemala

* * *

><p>I don't currently have any of Spain's colonies. You don't know what you speak of.<p>

But that can be _quickly_ changed.

Maybe _you_ will be captured as well.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: (To the tune of 'America- Fuck Yeah!') Changing history! Fuck yeah! **


	236. Belize 21

Y-you're scaring me...

P-papi taught me English... for some reason...

Por favor, don't take me away from P-papi... or hermana Guatemala...

Chibi!Belize

* * *

><p>Spain <em>won't<em> be able to take you away from me again.

His efforts have continuously failed, and for this reason you are now a British Crown Colony, under British rule and control!

Your name is British Honduras, not that repugnant '_Belize_'.

British Empire

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You just gave me a legit excuse for skipping around in history, woo! 8D Let's see how many other sides of England we see, since Idon't have to restrict myself to the Elizabethan era anymore. Muahaha.**

**Also, British Empire will be referring to the time of epic British land pwnage. Since that includes England, I see no reaosn to make that 'British Empire!England' because that is redundant. **


	237. Ely 12

England,

Why can't you help it? There are plenty of other outlets for emotional  
>turbulence. You can talk to me. ^^ I hope you consider me an awesome friend to<br>share your pain with.

I don't mind you being drunk, sir. And since I am of legal age to drink at  
>your home, drinks are on me! Or well… the first two, anyway. I'm not so<br>loaded that I can pay for your drunken episodes.

Well you were TOO drunk to remember, but you DEFINITELY said it. You owe me,  
>sir. I am waiting ever so patiently for those sweet nothings. ^_^ Or… have<br>you falsely gotten my hopes up? *pouts again, tears in eyes*

Well then I'm sending you two more brownies. You can dip one in rum if  
>you'd like!<p>

~Ely

* * *

><p>...Ely?<p>

Ely as in the Cambridgeshire cathedral city?

O-or perhaps an informal title used by Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth I? I-if so, f-forgive me, Your Majesty.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Changing history! xD Queen Elizabeth I was prooobably not called Ely 8U That'd be... weird. But pretend for now, 'kay?**


	238. Spain 7

Inglaterra,

I'm not trying to insult you (for once in my life). Nor was I trying to  
>infuriate you, so if you'd like to keep this damn flip-flopping of<br>ridiculousness, then go right ahead. It's not a problem for me.

I can argue allllllll day with you, damn Brit.

El Reino de España

* * *

><p><em>WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU WRITING TO ME, DAGO?<em>

I would have thought my grand defeat of your _pathetic_ Armada would have left you wallowing in self-pity, not wanting to aggravate me more as to another attack on you and your miserable 'country'.

D'you _want_ to lose?

Pirate!England


	239. Portugal 2

Dear Inglaterra,

Obrigada, meu querido amigo. Inglaterra, I thought by now you'd realize I'm  
>okay with you using colorful langauge around me. Ha ha~ Sometimes, I wonder if<br>Espanha and I are truly related too. Oh well~! When he isn't going on about  
>how much he hates you and what not; he's a good little brother.<p>

Alright, that sounds good. Besides, that wouldn't be good if you got attacked  
>by Spanish cuisine. Although on the plus side, free food! Heh heh~ Always look<br>on the bright side of life (Hey, isn't that the name of a Monty Python song?).  
>So, when would you like me to come visit? Anytime would work for me.<p>

Sincerely,

Portugal (Silvia Dias)

* * *

><p>S-sorry Portugal, but I'm not allowed to talk to you at the moment because of the Iberian Union. It displeases me.<p>

I hope you get out of it eventually. Spain's a bastard.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The Anglo-Portuguese Alliance was sort of void during the Iberian Union. But then the union ended and they were friends again yay so everyone's happy.**

**Also, sorry for the slow updates -lazy as fuck- Reddit is distracting me again.**


	240. Tel 2

Dear Mr. England,

canada, was actually france's first. but you like fought for seven years.  
>congratulations on that btw, i like french people, i do, i'm serious! i just<br>can't understand the language even if i was taught it for eleven years... :)OH  
>and no problem! It's always good to know if another person is well or not.<br>true that! mr. america, is just mr. america. :3

Magic, that reminds me, HARRY POTTER! i've watched each movie, they got me  
>into the books. :3 Me and a bunch of friends act out parts sometimes, does<br>that make us weird? ghost are great beings! i've always believed in them. but  
>don't you find the whole, 'secert world only for magic people,' alittle on the<br>down side for us normal beings?

yes! americans scare me a tad bit. i had a dream where i went over the border  
>and i was bombed... it could of been because i was researching, um, war<br>history for class. it was quite scary, lots of flashes. but i survived :3. i  
>had like super human ninja skills. plus my cat was an amazing distraction ...<p>

ANYWAYS ...

oh, if you don't mind me asking! why do you and mr. france not, to put it in  
>simple terms, not get along? you seem like you would. you, england could be<br>the thing that keeps him grounded, when mr. france is up and about  
>spreading... his pervert-mind. :3 i think he left somehere anyways. mr. france<br>seems rather nice. a little on the perverted side, but hey, we all are  
>somewhere deep down.<p>

have a good day mr. england!

every-day canadian,

-'Tel

* * *

><p>H-how did you know...?<p>

The war has _just_ been ended. The Treaty of Paris has now given much control in the Americas! At least the northern portion. But I'm sure I'll be able to call it _all_ mine soon enough.

And the Americans? They've been terribly angry lately. We shall take care of that.

But I digress. You're now part of the British Empire, Canadian!

Imperial!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sory if it looks like I'm not reding your whole letter, but I am. I just need to nitpick things that set England off.**

**Also, I found the adjective related to 'empire' xD 'Imperial'. not 'Empirical', derp. Imperial!England= British Empire. **


	241. America 13

Ummm...Arthur are you ok? You're acting a bit different. Please don't tell me  
>you're pissed about one of my food companies. I actually was told about it by<br>said company a few days ago. I feel like I stole candy from a baby, your son  
>to be exact. I'll try to get your company back I promise...maybe while I'm at<br>it I'll give you you're old ship. I'm not sure if it's in the best condition  
>though but I think I could fix it.<p>

~ Alfred (America)

* * *

><p>Get back to your side of the Appalachian Mountains, America!<p>

Can't you tell your people to follow His Majesty's orders for once?

I don't need another war with the Native Americans!

Imperial!England


	242. Golden Horde 8

Hey there, United Kingdom:

Man, I like you better as a pirate! Just like when I helped Dad Mongolia  
>conquer Europe in the Middle Ages. Yes, you would have spanned the whole<br>world, even possibly making every nation your vassal or slave! HAHAHAHA. Just  
>as you're the Pirate!England, this is my alter ego, Sadistic!Golden Horde.<br>Since you rule the sea, who should rule the land and skies? I hope you let me  
>turn every single nation into our vassal. No way should we allow that<br>Frenchman to rule the continent since you'd practically sink his ships. Stupid  
>Yuan Dynasty, he tried to conquer Japan and miserably failed.<p>

It was I who turned little Vanya into the insane bastard he is today, and I'm  
>so damned proud of it! I would have held all of Kievan Rus's lands if it<br>wasn't for those meddling bastards like Timur. Crap, I wished I converted to  
>the same religion as Ivan's and united all of modern Russia under my control.<br>Then I'd be a strong nation, but with a weak navy. I'll leave the seas to you,  
>pirate. Now, I have to go and raze a rebellious city and them enslave its<br>inhabitants.

Sadistic!Golden Horde

P.S.: I won't conquer you simply because your navy will obliterate mine.

* * *

><p>I'm not going to form an alliance with you, but I'll let you have Asia and Eastern Europe as long as you stay out of the rest of Europe and the New World.<p>

Do we have an agreement?

I do rule the seas, but I also can rule land. The age of exploration is upon us. The Kingdom of England will _not_ fall behind to those Spanish, Dutch, and French bastards.

My Navy is the _best_ in the world. We're invincible. Let our grand victory against the Spanish Armada serve as a warning of my power.

But should you invade any of my territory, I _will_ attack back.

Pirate!England


	243. New York 10

England,

Not /ALL/ of them. Just a select few.

Ok. Let's make a deal. In ten years, if I don't want it, you can say "I told  
>you so". But I might change my mind before I get it done. :)<p>

Yes, but you were being nice to me. It's a little unnatural!

Not THAT'S a scary thought.

Jersey and me are just being brother and sister. Truth be told, I don't like  
>Mass because he's, how do you say it, a bloody git.<p>

Don't tease. I know I shouldn't have had that much.

Ok, I have to ask, because this has been on my mind. Who, or what, exactly is  
>Britannia?<p>

With love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York, if you don't get those damned Sons of Liberty under control, the King will not be pleased. The Stamp Act is an order, not an option, and as a colony of the British Empire, you must <em>follow<em> them, or else face disastrous consequences.

And you don't want a whole revolution to take place, do you?

Imperial!England


	244. Japan 6

Asa-.. Iggirisu-san.. are.. are you aright? I have been feeling a weird aura  
>coming from you the last few days, but suddenly the feeling seems to grown<br>exceptionally. Asa-kun! If there is anything you need that I can give, or if  
>you need anyone to be of a service, please, do not hesitate!<p>

(Ah! there I go calling him Asa-kun.. san... my lapses of judgement has been  
>becoming more frequent! This is worrying.. but still!)<p>

..Iggirisu-san, even though my state is not of the best at the time being,  
>please be aware that I would not hesitate to help should you need any<br>assistance in doing anything. I feel troubled at this event.. Please be  
>alright...<p>

Perhaps I should take you on that offer to visit? I wish to ensure that you  
>are fine. That is of course if the offer still stands.. Please grant my<br>request to visit if it has been removed. I only wish for your well being.

Japan

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p>Why would I invite <em>you<em> to my home country, traitor?

Your filthy '_pirates_' killed one of my greatest explorers!

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ****The explorer England refers to is John Davis.**

**Ohey, and from your note, what does GSTQFTL stand for? o.o**


	245. Golden Horde 9

Hey, England:

Apparently that conquistador you called a wanker wanted to nuke the crap out  
>of Muscovy, and I've been itching to burn his lands down. We should probably<br>partition his colonies so I could get my hands on Philippines without having  
>that Chinese nation interfere in my way. Would you rather allow that Spaniard<br>to win the war against that Russian? Crap, if he does win then he'll  
>Catholicize almost all of Russia and I'll be exterminated.<br>Must...burn...down...Spain..Then use Ottoman Empire to capture his lands.

Sadistic!Golden Horde

* * *

><p>Wh-what?<p>

Nuking Russia?

Partitioning Spain?

I mean, I don't like the man, but even _I_ don't wish death upon him.

I... r-really don't know _what_ you're talking about.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So much history from different centuries mixed up that England got confused and therefore normal for a second.**

**Don't judge my logic... xD (there is none).**


	246. Native America 2

Dear Mr Arthur,

W-wait. Your coming back for more colinization?I don't know how much more of  
>this my people can take- with all due respect but when do you Englishmen know<br>when to stop? I am sorry but I cannot let you keep destroying my land and  
>'selling' it. You cannot own the earth! She is what gives to us- she is our<br>mother. Or have you Europeans grown so far from the earth mother that you do  
>not understand balance and harmony. Your 'digging your own grave' as you<br>people might say. Go destroy the rest of Europe- leave me out of this.

Send my reguards to your leader- With those giant wooden turtles that bring  
>you back and forth across the water she must be very powerful.<br>Do-na-da'-go-hv-i, (goodbye)

Chochmigwu (Corn mother/ Native America)

PS: My thanks for accepting my request. I am sorry about burdening you with  
>this task- and believe you me, I would definatly strangle that tomato eating<br>idiot anyday of your week. But unfortunatly we live across the great water.

* * *

><p>His Majesty just ordered a proclamation to settle these disputes. We're actually fixing our conflicts, so stop crying about it, would you?<p>

The Americans can't settle past the Appalachian Mountains. The rest is reserved for Indians. Though the Americans are protesting this, we will establish order.

The Americas will be settled in a stabilizing way.

I'll kill Spain later. I don't like the way he and frog face seem to be cooperating lately.

Imperial!England


	247. New England 4

...OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

Yes, assimilate, I'm sure if you weren't a retarded ass-pitate right now you'd  
>completely understand what I mean by that. I mean seriously...who the hell<br>wants to look exactly like someone else...

I've been doing business with those two since I was born, and whether you  
>liked it or not I've never really stopped. Don't intend to either.<p>

Care to explain the last thing you remember, asspirate? May help the  
>situation.<p>

Ian L. Jones(New England)

* * *

><p>Don't get snappy at me, New England!<p>

You are already irritating me as well as Parliament with your pathetic acts of '_rebellion_'. Your act of dumping my tea into your harbour is seen as despicable and appalling.

Your port is now closed and you _will_ pay all £9,000 back.

Imperial!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: £9,000 then= About 1,000,000 American dollars today.**


	248. Hungary 23

England,

Pathetic. Little. Country? EXCUSE ME?

...Ottoman Empire?...-*twitch*

First Spain. then Golden Horde(and sortof Russia). NOW YOU?

*paper is crumpled like a rabid bunny attacked it*

You men, are the BIGGEST idiots in the world! AUGH!*scribbles*

Why the hell do I even bother with you people? Just causes me to go insane  
>like you all are at the moment. Grr.<p>

Oh, yes achieving. Running around with faries, swords, funny hats and tights  
>is certianly achieving. I grovel at your tea-stained boots.<p>

Pulling My Hair Out In Frustration,

Hungary

P.S.- Going pirate isn't so scary these days, you know...

* * *

><p>I'm not losing a war, love.<p>

I'm going to colonise the New World. Blast Spain and France. _I_ will be the world's super power!

Watch what you say, wanton. I have the greatest navy in the world.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Who _doesn't_ draw Hetalia stuff for history notes? OwO**

**England's Royal Navy really did kick arse, though, muahaha.**


	249. Valencia 19

As you would say: You, bloody wanker!

I'm not just any city! I'm the Kingdom of Valencia! The most important city in  
>the region!<p>

Try it. Just try it!

Kingdom of Valencia

* * *

><p>And I defeated your father oh-so-easily. You would just be <em>another<em> incredibly easy takeover.

My navy is the best in the _world_. The battle you yearn to fight already has a clear victor, and that is _me_.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Maybe so, but around this time is when the Royal Navy started to become essential to their future superpower status.** **Muahaha.**


	250. Teruel 5

It's better that being proud of such eyebrows, you drunk bastard!

Isn't it obvious? I thought you would know by now

ANY Spanish city has written to you. you're soooooo drunk and desilusional  
>that you imagine things. You drank too much rum!<p>

a piece of advice from a non-existing being: Go to hell... It's warm and you  
>don't have to bear with France there. Give your colonies to... let's say...<br>Spain!

Teruel (or just a part of your imagination, who knows)

* * *

><p>I'll decline that offer. France has just ceded me all of his North American territory, as well as other islands in the Caribbean, and the eastern portion of French Louisiana. Spain has given me Florida. All that is left is what Spain holds beyond the reserve I have made for the Indians.<p>

And it certainly won't be _his_ for long.

Imperial!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You know that clip of Chibi!Russia from the anime where he jumps from side to side and says in the cutest voice ever (though in Japanese) "YAY~! I WON~!" ? That was Britain after the Seven Years' War, pretty much. Bunch of land went to them. **

**If you don't know or don't remember or want to bask in Chibi!Russia's glory: www. youtube .com/ watch?v=JDKOUsFb9Lc**


	251. Ohio 5

Arthur,

Er...It's me, Ohio. You know, one of America's stated? Original 13 colonies?  
>Ring a bell?<p>

Love,

Ohio

* * *

><p>Of course I know who you are, git. Part of the Northwest Territory old frog-face had to cede to me, haha!<p>

Imperial!England


	252. Guatemala 9

Inglaterra,

Sure I don't. Wanker.

I don't think so. I'm not exactly fond of you or your culture. If you try to  
>attack me I'm going to murder you.<p>

Guatemala

* * *

><p>You can't defeat me, the Great British Empire!<p>

Just like your father failed, you shall too, if you anger me enough as to where I would _invade_ you.

Pirate!England


	253. Spain 8

El freakin' diablo,

Oh? La pirata? How I've missed this...terrorizing you this way is considerably  
>more amusing to me.<p>

I dare you to attack Spain-just try and see what happens, a'ight?I won't lose,  
>not to you. You're not worth the defeat.<p>

Call me "dago" one more time and I will fucking slit your throat. Got it?

...Maldito pirata...

El Reino de España

* * *

><p>You terrorising me? Ha! How sadly mistaken you are.<p>

We already _are_ at war, git.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Anglo-Spanish War here.**


	254. Ely 13

England… er… Pirate!England…. Er… Arthur?

Er.. yes. Yes, that would be me. Queen Elizabeth I. Your queen. The queen of  
>the British Empire, which is you.<p>

*ahem*

You are forgiven, sir. I must also ask that, in turn, you forgive any  
>informality on my part. Ely is my nickname for I secretly wish to be a random<br>twenty-year old girl again without any royal duties or knowledge of what goes  
>on under my reign. This must be our secret though. How go the preparations for<br>our empire's expansion? Remind me again what is going on as of recent? I  
>tend to forget such things…<p>

Also, I do have a few favors to ask of you. But first I must know if you are  
>willing to obey. I do not respond well to treason or heartbreak. Would seeing<br>your queen cry make you happy? I think not.

~Queen Elizabeth I

Ely.

* * *

><p>Y-Your Majesty,<p>

Ah, er, as you wish, Ma'am. I am obliged to follow your orders. No matter how... _odd_ they are. And you aren't queen of a... '_British Empire_', whatever that is. Er, f-forgive me for being so outspoken there, Ma'am, but... do you feel a-alright?

We are currently at war with those damn Spaniards. Our treasury is quickly depleting, a-and our victories are not as c-common, but I assure you, Ma'am, that we will emerge victorious in the end, for we are under Your rule.

A-anything for you, Ma'am.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Apparently you have to call the Queen 'Your Majesty' first, then keep addressing her 'Ma'am'. Doesn't sound very formal to me. **


	255. Madrid 18

Señor Inglaterra,

Eep!

Uhm. Because I like writing to you... I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd be angry  
>at me! Forgive me, please!<p>

Submissive!Madrid

* * *

><p>Not be angry with you? How <em>typical<em> for one of Spain's cities. You're _all_ as thick-headed as he.

I'm at war with _all_ of Spain. This includes _you_.

But since you're being so submissive, I might as well hold you captive. _That_ will show Spain, haha!

Pirate!England


	256. America 14

Hi Engwand!

I finished weading Philsifwey Natuwalis Mathimaticwa! So when aw you gunna  
>come back and pway wif me agwain? alswo, do you mind helping me cwush dee<br>Nwativ Amwaricwa? She es wealy anowying.

I gwad you want to kwill Spain- He es colonwising my wand! Wif much wuv, dwop  
>dwead.<p>

Baby!America

* * *

><p>America,<p>

I'm glad you did! Did you enjoy it?

No, I won't 'crush' Native America. Don't bother her. Right now the Virginia, Plymouth, and Massachusetts Bay Colonies are plenty enough. Maybe later we can buy the Indians' land and _then_ you'll grow! As long as you follow my rules precisely, you'll grow up to be a _great_ territory, America.

Beware of anyone that is _not_ English. This includes the Spaniards, the French, the Dutch, and the Portuguese.

I can't visit you at the moment, but I promise that I will come back and see you, all right?

Imperial!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh my god. I love you. My head exploded at the cuteness. 'With much love, drop dead'. DAAAWWWWW**


	257. New England 5

...-Get snappy? I'LL SHOW YA SNAPPY.

Pathetic? Oh it's far from pathetic. I have no problem dumping your shit-water  
>into the ocean fifty times over. Just so long as I get to see you pissy.<p>

What's despicable is you. You British bastard. Don't think just because you're  
>whacked out of your mind that I'll let you call what I've done "appauling".<br>You've done worse disgraceful things back at me.

Know what, "Dad"? Insted of insulting you, maybe giving you a little tip in  
>the time your in will piss you off even more.<p>

I'm pretty much the reason why he started thinking about independence.

Ian L. Jones(New England)

* * *

><p>I'm not your bloody <em>father<em>. I am your _sovereign_.

You will _not_ get your independence! I won't allow it! You are now and forever a British colony!

I _know _that you're the damn reason. The 'Patriots' are all in New England, it seems. Bloody 'Sons of Liberty'...

I will _not_ lose America!

Imperial!England


	258. New York 11

England,

Wait, Sons of Liberty? The Stamp Act? England, that's all the way back in the  
>1770s. You do realize its 2011, right?<p>

*sigh* I wish you could appreciate the irony in that statement.

*shivers* you were so mean to me when I was a colony. I hated you.

Please tell me you are just drunk and playing around. I really don't want a  
>repeat of what happened when I was little.<p>

~Concerned/Scared! Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>W-wait. I don't... understand. <em>Huh?<em>

I think I know what bloody century it is, thanks.

England


	259. Ohio 6

Arthur,

I-but you-you know what, never mind. You're phasing again, aren't you?

Love,

Ohio

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

Ph-phasing? I... I don't know _what_ you're talking about! New York mentioned something like this as well, but I honestly have no clue what you are referring to.

England


	260. Guatemala 10

...YOU FUCKING TOOK OVER MY BROTHER?

That's it you bastard. I'm not messing around anymore.

I'm going to fucking *kill* you.

rebellious!Guatemala

* * *

><p>You and what army? Or <em>navy<em>, for that matter?

Send all you want at me, but my navy will annihilate you all.

Pirate!England


	261. Hungary 24

England,

the world's super power...we already have some, sweetie. Please, just go back  
>to normal cynical you and you can stop setting yourself up for more emotinoal<br>crap to come later. Really.

Wanton...-HEY.

OKAY. THAT'S IT. DRASTIC MEASURES TIME.

Back off the "New World" and pirating and such, or I WILL send my air forces  
>upon you! (though they are supposed to be for defensive perposes, I will use<br>them, I promise)

Last Warning. Now cool. it.

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>You've lost the war, Austria-Hungary. There's no need for you to arrogantly claim yourself as a 'superpower'; you've lost that. Your empire has fallen.<p>

Unless you want _another_ world war? If so, despicable. Your honour is tainted. You cannot regain it.

Air forces? Ha! The Royal Air Force may not be that old, but we could _easily_ beat you.

WW1!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeees! You wrote 'air forces' and it reminded me of the RAF, so why the hell not have a WW1!England? Kesesese~!**


	262. Spain 9

Pfft-for Gods sake-control yourself and snap out of it you damn Brit. The  
>pirating days are over.<p>

Hmm? Oh, I know what you mean-well, let me tell you something, Inglaterra,  
>those days are behind us. And if you can't figure that out, I'll have to deal<br>with you by force, all right? And I'd rather only deal with a war with Russia  
>right now.<p>

El Reino de España

* * *

><p>Of course they're over. Being forced to sign the damn Treaty of London.<p>

No more terror in the seas from me.

I hope you're satisfied.

Stuart Period!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Be careful how you word your sentences, because another face of England shows up. Muahaha -evilly strokes cat-**

**Treaty of London= ended Anglo-Spanish Wars and England's habit of raiding Spanish ships. Afterwards, they didn't bicker for a bit, le gasp. But only for about 2 decades, haha.**


	263. Tel 3

Mr. England,

B-But, I don't want to be /ruled/. I rather have a nice little place to my  
>self. Yes, yes, you'll call it yours soon/. -rolls eyes-

well i would be angry if you came storming into my house with a gun, or sword  
>saying 'give me your land.' it's not nice. make love, not war.<p>

i bet mr. france would of kicked you butt too. -huffs- he can be such a gentle  
>man sometimes. what? he can make roses appear out of know where! that is<br>amazing! what spiecal trick can you do? -hums-

OH! did i mention that little 'part of british empire, canadian' made me feel  
>like a man slave, when i am in fact, a woman who'll kick you behind.<p>

very angry canadian,

tel

* * *

><p>British rule is far superior to the stupid French royalty. You should feel <em>relieved<em> that you are part of the British Empire, not that frog's.

I'm not invading _you_, flailing weapons.

I'm chasing the _French_ out, git. Now this land is only for British and American settlers.

France beating _me? _Hahaha! I completely obliterated _him_ in the Seven Years' War, hence why New France is going to _me_.

Special tricks? I can send thousands of British troops to quiet you down in the blink of an eye; how is _that?_

Imperial!England


	264. Portugal 3

Dear Inglaterra,

No need to worry, I'll get out of the Iberian Union soon.

Sincerely,

Portugal (Silvia Dias)

* * *

><p>The... Iberian Union?<p>

Didn't that end in the 17th century?

..._what_ was I discussing with you, Portugal? Last I remember, I was talking about C-Canada, I think? Argh, but my head is throbbing like mad; and not a hangover-throb like you'd expect, but a headache that is just _unimaginable_. Worse than the pain I felt during the German bombings and air raids of the Great War. _That_ bad.

Ugh. I'm so lost.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Is the time-skipping getting to him? ~o.o~**


	265. Native America 3

Dear Mr England,

My apologies for me snapping at you- I have been going through alot of stress  
>lately. but I am glad that you and your... people have stopped at the<br>mountains. Please send my regaurds to her Majesty, Elizabeth. I would be  
>honored in meeting her someday; perhaps in a leantoo around a fire? But I hope<br>you enjoy the small package I have included with this letter: some tobacco and  
>a pipe, and (knowing how much you Europeans enjoy it) a gold chain from my<br>sister down south.

Much apreciated for you not attacking me anymore,

Rejoicing!Chochmigwu (Corn Mother/ Native America)

* * *

><p>Don't get too excited.<p>

The Americans are threatening to push past our set boundaries. My troops will surely get them under control, but the threat pers-

Wait. Queen Elizabeth? She... she's _dead_. U-unless it's... no, can't be. His Majesty is... George III, r-right? N-no, _he's_ dead too, I-I think... isn't he?

_God, I don't know!_

England


	266. Prussia 4

England,

Dude, seriously, the majority of the countries pretty much hate you. Dont  
>believe me, cocky boy? Check the mail.<p>

Ooooohh, what a witty excuse. Because I obviously have terrible vision, and  
>our accents obviously f*cking suck. Lame.<p>

Why are you even fighting with me? How did we get in this stupid crap? I  
>just asked for mein broder's jacket, Gott. You dont have to fight to look<br>almighty, if ya didn't know. Just prove yourself worthy, like me! Yeesh...

The Awesome Prussia

* * *

><p>Why are you writing to me, filthy Teutonic Knight!<p>

S-stay out of my country! The Normans are enough as it is!

Norman!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...guess not. There goes Prussia, ruining everything with his cockiness.**


	267. Ely 14

England,

Yes, I am fine. Forgive me for my confusion. I was just… foreseeing the  
>possibility of our country expanding to be the great British Empire. Has a<br>nice ring, does it not? I assure you it will happen someday.

I trust you completely, England. I know I can count on you and our army to  
>vanquish those Spaniards. (Though I must admit their culture and language are<br>fascinating.)

As for my requests, nothing too burdensome I hope. You must take me out on a  
>date… er… that is… court me. You can refer to me as Ely from now on my<br>dear England. No need for such formalities. Also, when you show up to meet me  
>in person, I may look different. Completely different. This is fine. I am<br>still your queen and you are still my favorite nation/ subject.

Queen Elizabeth I

Ely

* * *

><p>Your Majesty,<p>

I... suppose. Certainly, if our kingdom expands, I will be grateful. I take your word for it, My Queen.

_What?_ But, Your Majesty, we've been helping the Dutch fight the Spanish! We don't _like_ the Spaniards! Admitting we actually like those bastards in any way will not help the war cause! W-we are not doing as well as expected anymore; if the enemy finds out about your opinion... I-I think they find some way to use it against you.

A-again, forgive me for being so blunt, but I wish this to be viewed as advice. We can win this war, I know it! Don't start thinking positively about that sod, Ma'am. England prevails!*

_WHAT?_

...did King Phillip's marriage proposal h-hurt you that much, Your Majesty? A-and what about Lord Robert Dudley? Surely his memory will not be in vain! (I couldn't care less about the Spanish king, though). I-I know not many

Besides, you know that the people greatly admire you for your virginity! Y-you can't just throw that away! The commoners approve of the royalty, for once!

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *V for Vendetta quote ftw.**

**Also, though she never married, she totally had the hots for one of her childhood friends. But it was actually sort of good she didn't marry, because people started to see it as a good thing.**


	268. Japan 7

Iggirisu-jin. That is the fitting word to refer to you I am now certain, for  
>you are no longer, or rather not yet, the man that I know, look up to and<br>admire greatly.

While it may be that my men had exhumed one of your men, is it not true that  
>your men have exhumed and plundered from Spain-san's men as well? This world<br>is one where control of everything is impossible as you would know, as one  
>cannot control every resource he owns. However, I understand your grievances<br>of loss. Please allow me to do what is appropriate on that case.

Since I have not gotten permission to visit, and I would not invite myself,  
>you may rest assured that I would not be seeing you in your home land. Please<br>allow me to continue such correspondence as I hope relations between us would  
>be stabilized once again. I am sure it would be beneficial to us both.<p>

Japan

* * *

><p>I know I've raided Spanish ships. But I would never expect one of <em>your<em> pirates to attack _mine_.

Tsk. It seems I'll have to take spice trading to another part of Asia.

A shame.

Pirate!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Blargh, couldn't find anything that reminded me of WW2.**

**Also. I cannot believe I am that stupid. GSTQFTL. The abbreviated name of my own fucking fic. Gott. I am so stupid XDDD -facepalm-**


	269. British Columbia 14

WHAT.

Uncle Iggy,

I can't BELIEVE you. That is NOT funny. WHY do you think it's okay to make fun  
>of one of CANADA'S KIDS about being unrecognized? Shit, that is NOT OKAY. You<br>KNOW that I love my dad for than bloody ANYTHING, and you'd still tease me?  
>I'm the most noticeable freaking province, but you KNOW I'm damn sensitive<br>because the Rockies cut me off from my family! You're such a stupid,  
>insensitive, stupid, not-funny, stupid, ungentlemanly, stupid... Stupid! I am<br>so mad, I can't even THINK straight to write this damn letter! I thought you  
>were better than that, Uncle Iggy! You should be glad I'm not there right now,<br>because you would be getting a BLOODY EARFULL.

Shit, my head hurts... Stupid hangover! Damn it!

Not love, you asshole,

Lyra.

* * *

><p>Wh-what?<p>

. . .

British Columbia, of course I know who you are. A province in Canada. You don't disappear nor are you invisible.

What makes you think I'd _forget?_

Though I seem to be getting a lot of this recently. I can't remember what I've been doing lately; just snippets...

So, er, for whatever it was, I-I apologise.

England


	270. Valencia 20

Father? You might have defeated him. But I'm not as weak as he is!

Your navy stands no chance. You won't beat my fortress.

And my bats will eat your stupid fairies :)

The Kingdom of Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Are you feeling alright? You're... you're not a kingdom anymore. You're part of Spain. And I haven't been in a war against him for... bloody hell, I can't remember. B-but it hasn't been that recent since I fought him, h-has it?

England


	271. Teruel 6

England

You Must take your medicine... or you'll begin to see fairies and things that  
>don't exist.<p>

Teruel

PD: A seer told me that you'll end up as a part of an island... Pity you :)

* * *

><p>Teruel, you sod, fairies <em>are<em> real!

You're fortunate that they're benevolent, otherwise they would certainly claw at your face for that. But if you keep insisting they're not real, they just might.

I already _am_ an island, thank you. Git.

England


	272. Moscow 7

Dear Mister Angliya,

I'm sorry I have not written. A few minor... issues arose, but they were  
>properly... handled. Eheheh...<p>

Yes, truly. I only wind up confused after recording my part of a conversation.

Da, of course. I am sure that is what he thinks.

I have employed said 'suggestion' before. It is pleasant to see it take  
>effect. I have had to actually carry it out before, as well. Aunt Belarus<br>appeared on my doorstep not a day later, and Father never hid in my home  
>again.<p>

Da svedanya, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Perfectly acceptable. But I do _not_ wish to know how these matters were handled, so... please don't tell me. I trust you are respectful and not a blabbermouth like so many others; I'm assured it's not necessary for me to ask, but I simply am doing as so as a precautionary measure.

..._how_ are you related to Russia? Really.

Belarus certainly takes her obsession to new levels. But it's, ugh, _incest_. The woman is _barmy_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So long as nice people write, England seems to be under control. Hmm. **


	273. Mongolia 1

Hello, England~gala:

Golden Horde's checked inside the hospital so I'll be writing letters on his  
>behalf. It seems that Alfred is itching to nuke Ivanushka again, so forgive me<br>if I must deliver some pain to that American nation because I intend to adopt  
>Ivanushka again as my son. Of course, Russia should be with us again, and away<br>from Europe since it's too chaotic over there. At least Ivan would have a  
>change of scenery after he stays with us.<p>

Just to be clear, you should give out a warning to us if your mood is either  
>Pirate!, Imperial! or regular. We constantly have to change our letters just<br>to suit your needs and clearly, it's confusing.

Mongolia

* * *

><p>DON'T YOU <em>DARE<em> HURT AMERICA, OR SO GOD HELP ME I WILL USE _ANY_ METHOD NECESSARY TO EXTERMINATE YOU, ANNIHILATE YOU, OBLITERATE YOU- CHOOSE YOUR SYNONYM, BASTARD, BUT YOUR FATE WOULD REMAIN THE SAME!

AND WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? IF MY 'MOOD' CHANGES?

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bahaha. Spoke too soon.**


	274. Guatemala 11

Oh trust me, you bastard. I have an army AND a navy that will kick your  
>pirate ass.<p>

A bit overconfident, are we? I WILL get mi hermano back you british asshole.

Rebelliou!Guatemala

* * *

><p>I don't know <em>why<em> you want to attack me, because Belize isn't bloody mine anymore, but my military spending is 3rd highest in the world! D'you really want to mess with m-?

. . .

Er. Um.

P-pirate?

I'm noticing a strange pattern here. Oh God...

England


	275. New England 6

England!

S-Something happened! I was playing around with my book of um magic  
>stuff(tell anyone and I'll kick you! J-Jerk. I'll be burned at the stake<br>or...Something, if my people find out.)

Then I think I passed out, then I woke up! I don't get it...

Grr, I can't reach the top cabinets! I wanted Mr. Washington help me make  
>coffee..I forgot how frustrating this was-<p>

Nooo~ My independence! I even started writing up a declaration thingy! See,  
>here!<p>

"When in course of human stuff, we need to dissolve political ties which have,  
>um connected us with another. Uh, We hold these um, truths to be s-self<br>evident that- all men are created equal! And we are given by our creator,  
>certain u-un..Alien..something, Rights. So, I, the a-anana...the<br>ana..-anth-ro-pomor-phic thingy, of the New England colonies, here by-ith  
>declare to England its independence, along with the independence of the other<br>American colonies. The King is being m-mean to us, so we don't wanna stay  
>anymore. We will be our own country, from here onward."<p>

So can I have my independence now? Pleaasee? I tried really hard to write it!

But being British is stupid...

Chibi!NewEngland

P.S.- The Sons of Liberty are nice! They always give me food to eat. Why do  
>you think they're bad?<p>

* * *

><p>New England,<p>

Y-you practise magic? I-I'm somewhat proud, if it weren't for your previous... snarkiness.

But what d'you mean, you're t-?

WHY ARE YOU DECLARING INDEPENDENCE FROM ME? America is perfectly fine as a British colony! I am now going to be forced to send troops ov-

Wh-what? Of course you're independent already. Why would you ask me for it? Unless you want to secede from America. But then you'd have to ask h-

NEW ENGLAND, YOU WILL PAY FOR DARING TO DEFY THE BRITISH CROWN!

Imperial!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: -creepy voice- Mmm... yes ಠvಠ Muahaha. _Who_ will make him normal again?**


	276. Madrid 19

Señor Inglaterra,

W-why are you angry, though? What has Papa done, and why am I included in it?

...Not again. What are you going to do to Enrique?

Submissive!Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Your father and I are currently in a _war_, that's wh-!

N-no, I'm not mad at your father. I personally don't like him, but our governments get along fine eno-

As Spain's capital, you are a vital city to hold capti-

What do you mean, 'not again'? What did I do _before?_

England


	277. Hungary 25

NOW YOUR ACTING LIEK ITS WWI? AUGH!

When I said super powers I didn't mean me, dipshit. I ment America. and  
>Russia, sadly.<p>

I'm not married to Austria anymore either! God, so frustrating...not like I  
>was given anything to fucking do during that marriage though. In fact, stupid<br>idiot kept underminding me...now that I think of it. The whole WORLD has been  
>underminding me since forever!<p>

Another world war? Ohoho~ Don't give me the idea.

You never believed I had honor to begin with. Calling me a wanton. Don't think  
>I don't freakin' know what that means.<p>

Know what? fine! Bring it on! I'm going to beat the shit out of you, starting  
>with Birmingham!<p>

Pissy!Elizaveta

P.S.- Love how your motto nowadays is in French. Maybe that'll change now that  
>I mentioned it?<p>

* * *

><p>I know that they're the super powers, but you and your prissy little husband thought you were so <em>great<em> and _mighty_. But now that you have fallen, th-

_Obviously_, you aren't married to him! -sigh- Don't be so self-pitiful, Hungary. Yes, we have our _arguments_, but that doesn't mean that I-

You would most _certainly_ lose, if there was a second world war. Would you be joining the pathetic little Germans again? Can you not learn a lesson from the first time it hap-?

H-Hungary, I... I didn't _mean_ it. My temper gets the best of me sometimes... as does it to _you_. So you really shouldn't b-

As if I would be beaten by _you!_

WW1!England


	278. Texas 1

England,

I'd thought I might as well write you since some of my siblings are writing  
>you and my Dad. So what's up?<p>

Texas or Mike Jones

* * *

><p>Texas,<p>

I-I'm... unsure, really. I'm getting blamed for mood swings or some blasphemy like that, b-but the strange thing is that I don't remember much of what's happened these past few days.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Two reviewers wrote in as Texas within a half hour of each other, so I chose the one who had submitted it first.**

**Sorry, other person ):**


	279. New York 12

England,

Um, how do I put this, you wrote to me telling me to get the Sons of Liberty  
>under control and the Stamp act wasn't an option, I had to pay.<p>

So, are you back to normal?

Concerned! Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

B-based on, er, several colourful letters I have received, I believe it is safe to assume that I went through... er, various phases of m-mine from history throughout.

I... don't know, honestly. My head is throbbing _horribly_, and I feel as if I should l-lay down, but otherwise, I don't _feel_ strange or that I ever _acted_ strange.

England


	280. Spain 10

OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! I need something to bang my head off of...or preferably  
>yours...<p>

Thank the freakin' Lord.

I am satisfied, thank you.

El Reino de España

P.S. Hmm, have you realized that it's, oh, I dunno, 2011? Idiota...

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

Oh god. I can't believe I'm being forced to write you this. So here goes before I give in and point a gun to my head.

S-so it seems my anger got out of control aaand I started to quite literally relive history. If my past letters offended you in any way... ugh -grumbles- _let me make it up to you._ Oh dear God, I want to hurl.

But, a-anyway, seeing as our two nations are on friendly _enough_ terms currently and this obviously angered you, if there is... ugh, any way, if there's... ah, blast it all. You know what I mean.

_Sorry_.

Ugh.

England


	281. Ohio 7

Arthur,

Well, sometimes you kinda have a relapse. Start acting like you used to. Just  
>a minute ago you were threatening to kill me if I was an ally to Spain, think<br>you called me 'lass' too. then you said I was "That northwest territory to  
>that git Colony I saved from frog-face. We dubbed it 'phasing' because you<br>lapse into different phases if your life. make sense?

Love,

Ohio

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

Er, yes. I came to realise that after putting two and two together.

I th-threatened you? _Oh dear God_. I just _know_ that I'm going to have to write so many apology letters...

Sorry, Ohio.

England


	282. America 15

Hi Engwand!

I'm gwad you wiked my wast wetter, it was fwun to wite! Aw... why not? I want  
>you to wisit me soon thow okway? You have to pwomis... *sniff* it gets lownwy<br>out hew sometimes...

But yesterdway I saw'd bear! He was big a bwown- he wooked like a wealy hairy  
>bwon Gwermany he was so angwy looking! And I alswo saw'd a Fwenchie! he had a<br>fuzzy face a wong bwonde haiw, I wonder who he was?

Wite! don't twust anyone but the Engwish! I'll wemember that! So what do I do  
>if a Spwanish does come?<p>

Wif much wuv, dwop dwead.

Baby!America

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

Oh no.

Ohnonononono. Bollocks! Er, you didn't see that, America!

A-anyway. Good Lord, h-how did you turn into a _baby?_ D-don't tell me that my own relapse influenced y-you... oh, blast it all! Ack! I-ignore that, will you?

A-alright, I'm going to fly over and... and fix things, _somehow_. Did I really tell you not to trust anyone but the English...?

Um. America, listen to me now. Stay away from strangers. The frog, I mean, man with the fuzzy face is a stranger. Don't get near him at _all_.

For now, see if you can find your president or a trusted English, er, American adult.

D-drop d-dead...? It's been so long s-since...

Er. Uh. I-I'll see you soon, America.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: THIS IS MADNESS. I can't do strikethrough text T_T**

**The Revolutionary War makes me teary now, I swear. 'America Cleans Out His Storage Room'= amazing. More of that, please. but unfortunately THE ANIME IS OVER. For now. Ugh -.-**


	283. America 16

Engwand,

Why aw pwepole swaying I dwon't exwist anymore? I dwo dwon't I? *tears up and  
>sniffles* I dwon't wanna leave wou Big Bwrober... I dwon't wanna go... *starts<br>crying* I wan't you two come bwack soon okway? So we can pway.

hwoping I dwon't dwop dwead,

Sacred!Baby!America

* * *

><p>I-I'm coming, America! Flights can be a tad long, but you'll s-see me, I promise.<p>

. . .

B-big Brother? Y-you never called me th-that when you were my colony... er, except th-that one time, b-but... oh God. I sound pathetic.

I'll s-see you in about eight hours.

England


	284. Teruel 7

England,

You don't remember, do you?

You were delirious... My theory is that you had eaten your food so you got  
>poisoned and you thought you were the British empire :)<p>

Good luck with the furious people you insulted when you when delirious ;)

Teruel

* * *

><p>Well, aren't <em>you<em> a great advice giver. You could replace Oprah.

England


	285. Valencia 21

England

You're right. I'm not a kingdom anymore. And you're not a empire.

I wasn't making fun of you... You were acting as the British Empire, so I  
>thought I could act as The Kingdom of Valencia.<p>

I miss those times...

Love,

Valencia

PS: I'm glad you're back

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Er, yes, I now realise how I was being. I don't think acting is a god word to use there, as that would mean I was portraying another character. Which I wasn't. I just don't recall ever doing anything like that.

-sigh- So do I. Maybe that's what set me off.

England


	286. Ely 15

England,

My apologies for that comment. I did not mean to make you upset. Surely I  
>trust none of this information will fall into strange hands and no one will<br>"take advantage" of what I have said.

Yes, England prevails! We will definitely win this war, my beloved pirate.

Who said anything about losing my virginity, dear England? And what I meant to  
>say by courting me was… well, I meant you should court another lovely young<br>lady with the same name as mine. I thought you would think less of her for not  
>being your queen so I made an agreement with her to take on each other's<br>personalities. It is much too difficult to explain but please heed my request.

As for Ely, she is a foreigner; a rather odd girl but she means well. I  
>believe you will make great friends with her. It seems that our reputation as<br>a belligerent nation will grant us less international alliances and eventually  
>force us into splendid isolation. Not many will like us for being a<br>victorious, omnipotent entity with great humor and cooking skills… so it is  
>important to embrace those who do admire us. Plus, you could use a little fun<br>spending time with her. She is a lovely girl, she is. I am sure you will grow  
>to like her.<p>

Oh and one more request on her and my behalf. When you do spend time with her,  
>we would prefer it if you could go back in time and be the chivalrous knight<br>you were. You look so dashing in a suit of armor. I'm sure Ely will agree as  
>well.<p>

Sincerely your still virgin queen,

~Elizabeth I

~Ely

* * *

><p>...what.<p>

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think that one word says it all.**


	287. Spain 11

Inglaterra,

Pfft...ahahaha~! Oh good freakin' Lord~! You're apologizing to me? Never  
>thought I'd see the day.<p>

But, no, no don't worry about it. I don't need your half-assed apologies and  
>you didn't offend me-just irritated me. So, good job~!<p>

Just pay me 2 bil. and we'll be all right~! Maybe a nice, all expense-paid  
>vacation would be better...nahh, just the 2 billion...<p>

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

For once, you speak the truth. Half-arsed apology indeed. Damned if I actually _mean_ it. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. But you're... _you_; I see no reason as to why I should _mean_ it when we're just going to fight again if you wait enough.

_Why_ the bloody hell would I give you 2 billion?

We're already giving bailouts to enough nations!

England


	288. New York 13

England,

Seems so. You were all British Empire when you wrote to me.

Lord, did you do another spell? If so, you should find the counter spell right  
>away.<p>

Jersey says hi.

~Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

Really? Sigh, I miss those days. I was at my utmost glory and triumph...

I don't think so. All I remember is being fine one moment, then nothing; just blackness, and now, I'm writing to everyone again in my normal state.

It's like I just woke up from a dreamless slumber. Horrid analogy, but that's the best I can compare it to.

...Jersey? My Crown Dependency? In America?

England


	289. Ohio 8

Arthur,

Well, at least you know it happens. Scary as shit, though. God, man. Do you  
>know how fucking scary and possessive you were when we were a colony? Swear to<br>god I though you were going to end up raping either dad or one of us before it  
>ended. *shivers* you SCREAMED pedophile.<p>

But, other than that, it's okay. I'm kinda used to it. School and the like.  
>Not to mention the other states. I may be one of the first colonies, but<br>because I'm still relatively under-developed in the industry I chose I'm,  
>like, 13. So almost everyone's "older" than me.<p>

Love,

Ohio

* * *

><p>Ohio,<p>

I didn't treat the American colonies _that_ bad! And if you found my behaviour unfair, then that is from _your_ viewpoint. Raising a colony and/or territory is like raising a child, which you all were at one point. You were under my rule, and because of that, had to follow what I told you to do. Or what, because someone lives with their parents, to they nitpick the rules they like and oblige by those, but disregard the ones they find displeasing?

_WHAT? _I most certainly am not or ever was a paedophile! What the bloody hell sort of conclusion is_ that?_

There is _always_ going to be someone older and more powerful than you.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hate to be _that_ bitch, but Ohio wasn't one of the first 13 colonies D: **

**Easy way to remember the original colonies, sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle: **

**New Hampshire, New York, Massachusetts, Delaware, New Jersey. Pennsylvania, Maryland, Connecticut, it's easy. Carolina North and South, Georgia, and Virginia. Don't forget Rhode Island too; it's easy, like I told you.**


	290. America 17

Engwand,

I'm scared Big Bwuber... The man wif the fuzzy face told me he's Engwish but  
>he has a funny accent... EEP! ENGWAND!<p>

* * *

><p>AMERICA I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM FRANCE!<p>

WHERE ARE YOU; YOU'RE NOT IN WASHINGTON D.C.!

FRANCE, YOU FROG, IF YOU GET THIS AND DON'T RETURN AMERICA SAFELY, I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE TORTURED WITH A JUDAS CRADLE!

Mark. My. _Words_.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The Judas Cradle seemed like a perfect torture device for someone as promiscuous as France, honhonhon. Google at own risk.**


	291. Texas 2

I bet I know why, it's your food, if you can call it that? It's done something  
>to your brain. Haha XD I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, Old man.<p>

Mike

* * *

><p>Still an annoying git, I see. And you were never even a colony under my reign.<p>

England


	292. Hungary 26

*Sigh*...

You, are one of the most confusing people I have ever had to deal with.

Do you have split personality problems now?

Know what? No. I rather not know that answer. This is bullshit, the whole  
>world is bullshit! You all go crazy at some point, then get hurt, then<br>complain repeat repeat blah blah fucking blah. The whole damn world is like  
>this! Then if I know 'em well enough, I help them out, but then they just go<br>through the damn cycle again! Have I ever done that? No.

I'm. Done. Now its MY turn. Show you a fucking wanton. This wanton is gonna  
>make sure this damn cycle ends by her own hands. And everyones going to live<br>happily together. Under one, leader. Happily. and the process will start, with  
>you.<p>

With Love from Dover, HUNGARY(Formerly part of England; if you are really that  
>dense).<p>

Commie!Hungary

P.S.- Did it hurt?

* * *

><p>Hungary, snap out of it, woman!<p>

Communism is, though a government system built upon a base of equality, communism, a doctor earns the same as a rubbish collector. Under communism, those who_ hardly work_ are rewarded just as much as those who_ work hard_. Under communism, no one is actually equal. Communism will not ever work because people are not moral. Greed will persist in people. Not everyone is going to be happy being treated equal when their actions are not.

You are no longer under failed Communist rule.

You are Hungary, a great nation and lovely person.

Don't go attacking others or invading. Because you. Are. Not. Communist!

...Dover is _still_ part of England. Are you trying to _capture_ it from me? Are you in_ England?_

Don't start another war, Hungary!

England


	293. Guatemala 12

Inglaterra,

You went into pirate mode and took over Belize. AGAIN.

Do you know how much trauma you inflicted on him when you took him over? He  
>still has nightmares about that. And you just made it WORSE.<p>

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Oh God. Is he still under my control? I swear, I don't know why I was acting that way. I don't remember ever doing that, either.<p>

I haven't heard from him in a while. Please tell him to write to me again; I hope I didn't scare him away forever. I apologise, but there's only so much words can do.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Derp. Did I really skip Belize? Just write in again in reply to this. I can't find it in my email or trash o.o**


	294. Portugal 4

Dear Inglaterra,

Oh yay! You're back to normal. You were acting quite weird before. So, I was  
>just going along with it. I was also quite concerned about you too. You<br>thought you were a pirate again.

I hope your headache goes away soon.

Sincerely,

Portugal (Silvia Dias)

* * *

><p>Portugal,<p>

...ahahaha. How embarrassing. Er. Sorry. The whole world already thinks I'm weird enough. This will _certainly_ help...

It went away, but thanks for worrying. But I still have not recovered the memories of that ever happening. Doubt I ever will.

England


	295. New England 7

Jerk Face,

Y-You're proud? I mean..I keep it a secret be-

No! the stupid king is being mean and bullying me! He passed the stupid Stamp  
>Act, a-and flooding my harbors with piss-water! I don't like tea as much as<br>you do you know, but you and the stupid king keep making me buy it!

I don't like those ships here. No one does...'specially the Sons of Liberty.  
>I'm in the room with them now acctually! I wish Mr. Washington was here<br>though.

H-Huh? I AM? REALLY? Yes!~ England, you really are an awesome Dad/Big  
>brother...person, you know? And here I thought you were being mean and-<p>

Oh.

...y-you were lying.*the paper has a few water stains here*

W-Well I hate you and your stupid crown! Why do I hafta look like such a  
>meanie face like you? I'm...I'm gonna go dump your tea in the harbor then get<br>Alfie and run away!

Chibi!NewEngland

* * *

><p>New England,<p>

Y-you're a _child_ t-too...

Er, I'll do my best to explain this in terms you'll understand. I'm not your father or whatever title you assign me anymore; you are not under my control. You are a region in America and have been for about 2 or 3 centuries now, but you shrunk and, er... this is weird to write out.

But, erm, you're independent. All of America is.

W-wait. You know where America is? I think he may have been kidnapped by France or is being stalked by him. Either way, France is pestering him and _something_ happened to America. I'm in Washington D.C., so fairly near you. I thought I'd find him here but he's _not_ here.

Don't... d-don't cry! Er. Think of, uh, happy things or... or _something!_

England


	296. Tel 4

Dear Imperial!England,

whhhhhhat-ever. :3 i knew you had a little thing for those america lads. have  
>a nice time.<p>

i would very much love to have thousands of british troops come to quiet me  
>down! heehee!<p>

:] what's your favorite part about your history /mr./ england?. was it true  
>you were a pirate once upon a time? how come you were tamed... wow i have<br>questions popping out of no where.

ohhh, i'm sending some tea bags over! :3 i found them in my house after my  
>aunt left, and i don't drink tea, so you can have them! -duck taps to letter-<p>

talk to you soon mr. england.

excited canadian!

TEL

* * *

><p>Tel,<p>

Whatever you wrote to me is futile because I don't recall it. I'll try my best to answer it, but I have no previous conscious knowledge of any of this.

Well... I always _was_ fond of, er, America. He _could_ have been a great British colony, you know. But apparently that was not enough for him and we went through the whole war of independence.

Why would I send troops to Canada? You're all tame kittens, honestly. Causing no trouble at all.

My favourite part? I don't really have one. I loved my pirating days, when I got to raid Spanish ships of their treasure... heh heh. And I also was very proud of my country when we conquered so much of the world, when I was the British Empire. So one of those.

_You don't drink tea?_ Blasphemy!

England


	297. Moscow 8

Dear Mister Angliya,

I am not allowed to tell, anyways. I would get in much trouble.

Technically, I am not. I am the child of the Kremlin, who is an old part of  
>the city now.<p>

Belarus seems to have raised my cousin to like me as she likes my father. It  
>is very strange.<p>

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

At least you know what is correct to publicly state and what is not. Unlike many other nations, who are incapable of thinking and just open their mouths to yak.

I doubt the Kremlin was as proper as you.

. . .

I have no words. No... bloody... words.

England


	298. British Columbia 15

Uncle Iggy,

Wait, what? I... I'm confused. Did you go through a relapse? After all, you  
>signed your last letter "Captain Kirkland"...<p>

I've heard of countries doing that. Reliving their histories in the present  
>day. It's never happened to me, but I'd probably end up going back to my<br>native days just after Antonio and you were exploring my land... I remember  
>those days well, only because I was a shy, nervous kid. Mama Haida looked<br>closely after me back then...

Sometimes I miss the days before all the Europeans showed up. They were  
>peaceful...<p>

Love,

Lyra.

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

I did. I don't remember any of it, but other nations have been filling me in. It's odd, finding out this happened but not _knowing_. If that makes sense.

Captain Kirkland? That's... my pirate title. I wrote to _you_ as a pirate? Ugh. This keeps getting _better_ and _better_.

R-really? I have never heard of that happen to anyone. I wonder if, to those it has happened, retain memory of it. I don't. Awful. If I'm going to have the chance to relive history, I would like to be able to remember it. Teach more mistakes to fix.

Forgive me for this, but I don't remember a Mama Haida. Don't forget France! He owned New France- er, Canada, before I did.

Nothing lasts forever. Regret and yearn will do nothing.

England


	299. Japan 8

Iggirisu-jin... No trade... Leaving country...

!

Y-you! Why are you writing to me! No, leave me alone! I do not wish to talk to  
>anyone of you outsiders!<p>

Please leave me alone! Haven't you already left me once? Is that not enough  
>for you? Have you come to force me to trade with you again? To mock me? Just<br>because your.. alien.. companies had become bankrupt, you had left me! Yet you  
>come back?<p>

I would rather die than be shamed any more by you! Iggirisu-jin, if you dare  
>to come back, I will not hesitate to use my blade!<p>

Isolationist!Japan

* * *

><p>Not you <em>too<em>, Japan!

You're not in isolation anymore, nor are we enemies. Forget what I have been writing to you recently; that was not my normal behaviour, as I was 'reliving history', to put it mildly (and into slightly more _sane_ terms).

I'm not trying to 'shame' you or 'mock' you, I'm trying to make you realise that you are not in isolation anymore! And you don't hate me. I have an embassy in your capital, as do you in mine, and our governments get along greatly. Do you not recall what my Foreign Secretary said about you? "Unquestionably our closest partner in Asia." Let this serve you as proof that you are no longer shunned form the world, much less from me.

Japan, you're one of the most intelligent nations I know; surely you can see past this nonsense.

England


	300. Philippines 1

Dear Kuya Inglattera (Dear Big Brother England),

Isang magandang araw sa iyo! (Good day to you!)

Do you still remember me, Kuya?

Hmm...do you know Spain, right? Do you remember him, holding hands with a  
>little girl wearing a loose white shirt and pants, and has long black hair<br>which is always tied with a ponytail?

I was that little girl...

And Papa thought all along that I was a boy...hmpf! T-T

Well...we have met centuries ago, but...I haven't got the chance to know you  
>better, because you stayed in my homeland for only two years (1762-1764). It's<br>quite a short span of time, in my opinion, but...now at least we have our  
>foreign relations at present. It's all a big thanks to our bosses!<p>

And so, I decided to drop by today and say "Hi, Kuya! (Hi, Big Brother!)", to  
>the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...and that's<br>you...^_^

Kumusta ka na? (How are you?)

Teka, kinakabahan ako... (Wait, I'm getting nervous...)

Pardon me f-for my...timidity. I'm not used in writing letters often, but my  
>boss told me that I should do this to improve my foreign relations to the<br>other nations...but,I'm...shy...so...T-T

Diyos ko...kinakabahan talaga ako!(My God...I'm really nervous!)

W-well...this is it f-for now...I'll write you soon, Kuya.

P.S. I'll send you some mangoes and bibingka (rice cakes). You'll definitely  
>love them!<p>

With lots of hope and love,

The Republic of the Philippines

* * *

><p>Philippines,<p>

To be honest, I remember you vaguely. Our governments do get along well, so I have heard of you, but I don't think that I have seen you lately.

Ah yes... you were _Spain's_ colony. _That_ I remember.

It's wonderfully nice of you to want to write to me. Most nations don't hesitate in ranting _to_ me _about_ me.

You have no reason to feel shy or nervous. It's simply letters. Like I said, our governments are on good terms, so there's no harm in writing to me. It's not like I'm going to invade you if you displease me or something.

I appreciate your gifts. Did you make the rice cake yourself? It tasted excellent.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 300 LETTERS WOO 8D **


	301. America 18

Engwand,

Sowwy abwout scawing you ewrlier- Fwance wanted to know who I was and tell me  
>about wis thwing he cwalled 'intercorse' I didn't gwet it. Wat dwoes that<br>mwean? I am gwad you aw comming over thouw- I can't wait to pway wif you and  
>eat some of your yummy hot spuds! Fwish and chips= a happy baby America!<p>

I can't wait to swee you, bwig Bwuber,

Baby!America

* * *

><p>Dear. God. Almighty.<p>

Uh, i-it's nothing, America! You'll learn about it wh-when you're older! Don't listen to France. C-come to Washington D.C. or tell me where you are, because I c-can't find you and it's worrying me.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: When America is no longer a baby, who shall be America? D: Our old America seems to have vanished :c**

**Well _if_ America returns back to normal.**


	302. Mary Read 1

My dearest Arthur,

It has been a long time, no? The last time I'll see you is at the Jamacian  
>gallows.. unless your kind self would let me live possibly? But as of now this<br>will be one of my last few letters I will be sending out, I am afriad my death  
>sentance is comming up quickly.<p>

But not to much drabble in sad subjects- it isn't healthy. Do you remember  
>when you figured out I was a woman? Or has that Frog tainted your mind so that<br>you have forgotten? Tell that French swine if he keeps on disturbing English  
>propertiess I will haunt him when I am gone.<p>

This might be one of a couple last letters I send to you.

This damn fever is getting the better of me- I think I'm going soft.

Fellow pirate

Mary Read

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

M-Mary Read?

But you've... you've _been_ dead...

H-how...? N-no wait, er, I don't want to know.

Of c-course I remember you. One of, er, my few women pirates

France is s-still France, so he continues to bother me, but he b-bothers everyo-

_How the bloody hell are you writing to me?_

S-sorry for the outburst. Don't tell me. It'll probably b-be odd. A-and I'm no longer a p-pirate! I'm a gentleman now. I live in peace. I get along (mostly) with th-the other nations. Our business is no l-longer to... er, raid and do pirate-y... stuff. God, that sounded like America.

England


	303. Mexico 1

Hola Amigo!

Saludos desde Mexico!

...

Ameh *cough* sorry got carried away... umm

Señor Reino Unido de Gran Bretaña e Irlanda del Norte (so long in Spanish...  
>anyway)<p>

Hi, greetings from Mexico!

I hope we can get to know each other better and be friends.

*To shy...* mumble mumble

I admire your culture very much! *.*

Especially your magic background! My magical creatures aren't too cute...  
>chupacabra... but we are filled with ghosts!<p>

If its not much to ask... could I have a sample of your scones? I've heard a  
>lot of them but never tried them... unless you count the scones America sells<br>on HEB?

I sent some of my homemade pan dulce (sweet bread and churros) Hope you like  
>them!<p>

Maria (Mexico)

PS: I send some tequila :D

* * *

><p>Mexico,<p>

Oh, hello! You know, that's my long official name, but just call me England. Since technically I just represent that, but as the most well-known of the other United Kingdom nations, I take on the role of UK head, in a way.

R-really? Thanks. I've heard about chupacabras, but never seen them. Your myths, as you said, aren't full of 'cute' creatures. The only Mexican myths I can think of are the chupacabra and the lady that supposedly haunts a river and wails about her lost children. Not very friendly sounding.

Certainly! It's not often I get asked to share my scones. I've sent some to you and they should arrive with this letter. America's food in supermarkets does not come close to mine, especially when I make them myself.

Thank you for the pastries; they were delicious. I'll try the alcohol later. Still can't figure out how _I_ can't send alcoholic drinks, but _everyone else_ can...

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: MEXICO REPRESENT.**

**You made me hungry with the pan dulce mentioning ;-; Us Mexicans fucking_ love_ pastries.**


	304. Kansas 1

Dear Grandpa,

I'm worried about daddy, what did you do to him? He's a baby for Christ's  
>sake! I've tried to entertain him with a corn rattle but he keeps running<br>across the country whining about you. Seriously do something or all become  
>bleeding Kansas again, and cut you throat. I'm tired of dad destroying my<br>embroidery and blasting Disney movies at full blast in my own firkin house!  
>Oh on a side note once you get all this sorted out can I meet FBM? I got it<br>you can both visit me and we'll go to OZ you'll love it there!

Love, Kansas

P.S. Have you heard the word?

* * *

><p>Kansas,<p>

America is with you? Oh, thank goodness! I'm in his capital and I couldn't find him. I also need to get New England, in fact, as he's a child t-

. . .

Aren't you wonderful, threatening me. That changed the letter's mood quickly. And then you ask to meet Flying Mint Bunny? -scoff- You really do take after your father.

I'm going to get this fixed. Somehow. I'll find a bloody way, just keep America with you, if he's still there.

And no, I have not heard of the 'word'. Explain.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I KNOW THE WORD. THE BIRD IS THE WORD.**


	305. Teruel 8

England..

who's Oprah?

Teruel

not kidding... I don't know who's oprah

* * *

><p>Figures you would not know. You really <em>are<em> uneducated. I should not have mentioned such an advanced term as _Oprah_.

There's this great invention called the _Internet _that you can use instead of asking me, git. Like I would explain something to you. If I say something and you don't know it, too bloody bad.

Scornful!England


	306. Valencia 22

England

That was the only word I could think to describe that situation in English...

Yes... Maybe... Maybe it was a plot... Maybe someone drugged you... Who knows?

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

I don't think it was a conspiracy as complex as that. Surely, I would have received some sort of ominous note, were that the case.

But unfortunately, I can't think of anything to _disprove_ the fact that it wasn't all planned. I'd just like to have faith in the other nations, though most hate me, and hope that I didn't anger one enough to make me do that.

England


	307. Spain 12

Inglaterra,

...For once? What's that supposed to mean you English asshole?

Answer me this, Inglaterra, how is it that our governments get along almost as  
>well as Canada's and America's and yet the two of us can't get along...?<p>

Because I'm fucking broke you asshole-and you said you'd make it up to me...

No, not a bailout-just a generous donation to poor, poor Spain.

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

_Exactly_ what you think, git.

Because you have all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire*. Not your government, _you_.

It also doesn't help that you're bloody annoying and my temper is quick.

But d'you think that I have a magic 2 billion I can just _pull_ out of my pocket? You're sadly mistaken, _sir_. I _know_ you're broke. Your people's protests have been plaguing my networks and media. Not that I don't find it admirable, but I _am_ aware of your situation.

You can add 'pitiful beggar' to your list of _wonderful_ things you've done. Congratulations.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *A quote from good ol' Winston Churchill.**


	308. New York 14

England,

Yep. Once again, so happy I'm a state!

That's...scary. I'm glad you're back to normal.

New Jersey Iggy, New Jersey.

Now that you're back to normal, would you mind telling me how to curse my  
>brothers via mail?<p>

With much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

You know, it may sound like us nations have it bad, but we really don't. It's... both a tremendously great and horrid experience to go to war, meet other nations, establish peace, make new organisations where we can work together. You're really being part of history, and you get to experience it all forever, because we can't die. I wouldn't trade my status for anything.

Oh well you should be more specific next time. I don't think like you Americans, hmph.

Isn't that _lovely_. But, er, I'm not... sure, actually. Scotland (blast him) was the one who cursed _me_, not the other way around.

I do know this: if you don't already have a good knowledge of magic, you won't be able to cast a spell on a letter. It's complicated and requires skill.

England


	309. Ohio 9

Iggy,

HEy, Iggster~ Guess what? After weeks of holing myself in the bathroom DC is  
>Baack~! Philadelphia finally convinced me to come out-promised my a game of<br>soccer and handed me a pen and paper, stupid little conniving-

Anyways, Ohio's been writing in my absence, hasn't she? She told me you  
>started phasing again. You should seriously consider having someone look at<br>that.

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. You should be, like, pedobear for Halloween.

-Ohio

* * *

><p>Washington D.C.,<p>

You could have written sooner! I flew all the way there looking for America and did not find him. So now I'm looking for New England, who is small as well, but I don't know where in new England he is.

As far as I know, this is the only time I've 'phased'. I'm sure here's a logical reason as to why that happened. It wasn't out of my own free will, I assure you.

Ohio, you are a perverted wanton.

England


	310. Texas 3

Still a crazy pyscho, I see. Yeah I wasn't and glad of it. Heard you put the  
>original 13 colonies through some shit.<p>

Mike

* * *

><p>Because <em>you<em> did _great_ as an independent republic. Certainly you know _all_ about politics.

Didn't your governor threaten to secede (again) from the United States as recently as two years ago?

Hmph. _You're_ one to talk, sod.

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes, our _genius_ governor really did that.**


	311. Bermuda 1

hey england,

whats up dad =D didnt forget me,right? okay, i gotta question for ya: why do  
>you think america is annoying? he's a very fun person you know.<p>

please write back soon,

Jango,aka Bermuda~

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

Of course not. You're one of my overseas territories, and I don't neglect you.

...he's not _really_ 'annoying', just loud and boisterous and easily excited. I can't really keep up with his never-ending vigour. Sometimes I can't stand it and it gets old quickly, which makes people think that I despise him. But... I don't.

As for insulting him, which I know you will very likely bring up, I insult _everybody_. That's simply how I am.

England


	312. Hungary 27

Dear England,

Oh Sweetie, I know it isn't a perfect system. I'm planning on making you and  
>all the other nations equal, in that sense I AM communist. However imposing<br>communist ideals on all of the new government is not exactly what I am aiming  
>for.<p>

Things will go smoothly, I promise.

Greed persists in nations too, England. And that's why; I'm going to make sure  
>we're all just one big happy family. Okay~? Be happy, I'll make you everyone's<br>older brother. An example to follow. Won't that be great?

You're right, I'm not. I've just come to my hidden senses. Letting you dimwits  
>figure things out for peace on your own is wasting time.<p>

Thank you for the compliments, but that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you  
>out by yourself.<p>

Now now, don't be bitter. It's not my fault you left yourself, your cities-  
>most importantly London - unattended while you went to your former charge's<br>aid.

This isn't a war,

Commie!Hungary

P.S.- By the tone of your letter I'm assuming you aren't really harmed after  
>moving and capturing farther inland. That's good. By the way, the buildings<br>here in London are very pretty.

* * *

><p>Shite! I'm in the United States, looking for my former territories which are apparently children now, and you just go and <em>invade<em> me? This isn't even-!

Oh, God. Fine. You want to play this way? Alright.

Then get ready to be completely demolished by the RAF and my other armed forces. I don't spend billions on the military for nothing.

What the bloody hell is it going to take for you realise YOU'RE NOT A COMMUNIST ANYMORE?

Need I remind you your Communist period was one of the lousiest in your country? And that once it was gone, you did very well? Don't ruin your nation again because you're mental now!

And especially DON'T BLOODY ATTACK ME OR TRY TO CONVERT ME TO COMMUNISM! Bloody hell! I have one of the best nations in the world, thank you, and I intend to keep it that way!

Snap. Out. Of. It!

England


	313. New England 8

E-England,

Yeah, w-when haven't I?..*sniff*.

...Wait. So I do have independence? YAAAYYY! Hahaha! Woooo~!

You're not lying this time...right?

Alfie too? Yes!

Um..last I saw him was in Long Island, I think. Though...I don't remember why.  
>Francey? Mattie talks about him a lot. I wish I could visit Francey-<p>

Waaahh! I can't! It's scary outside! T-The stupid rain a-and, the thunder is  
>wicked loud, a-a-and...*sniff*- AHH!<p>

This house is dark and scary England...

Chibi!NewEngland

* * *

><p>New England,<p>

Yes, you have independence, you have _been_ independent for nearly three centuries. All of the United States has.

You're not _supposed_ to be a child, you're supposed to be older and rant about how much you hate me and roll your eyes in scorn.

Damn, I need to work on a spell or something. Ugh...

Anyway. Long Island? In New York? _How_ did he get from Kansas to New York? Oh, God. I feel like I'm in a_ field trip_, not looking for bloody America.

Don't get near France!

And since I can't find you either, I'm asking for you to go to Boston and _stay_ there, d'you understand? I'll get you back to normal after I find America or hear from him. But go to Boston and no matter what, _stay_ there.

England


	314. Veneziano 1

Mr. England,

I have seen a few of your letters to mio fratello, so I thought that I would  
>write to you as well!<p>

So how are you, Mr. England? A lot of the other nations have told me you were  
>sending letters to them as well. You must be really busy! Ve, I hope my letter<br>won't bother you, Mr. England!

Here, I sent a package with pasta! Big Brother France said that you don't eat  
>healthy so I don't want you to get sick!<p>

Sincerely,

Veneziano

* * *

><p>Italy,<p>

No, this doesn't bother me. You are certainly more amiable than your brat of a brother.

How I've been doing... well. Looking for a baby America, then a baby New England. Trying to stop a now Communist Hungary from doing anything regrettable in my home country. Failing to convince Japan that he's no longer in isolation. Explaing to other nations why I acted differently, and it was because of a history relapse I had, in case you had not heard.

So basically, just _wonderful_.

_That frog said th-!_ Gah. Such a _bastard_. I eat healthy enough, but thanks for the pasta.

Don't listen to the lies France tells you about me.

England


	315. Georgia 1

UNCLE ARTIE!

Hi! It's your favorite niece, Elizabeth R. Jones! Or maybe I should put  
>Favourite? ...<p>

I miss seeing you! Daddy says I shouldn't write you, 'cos apparently you're a  
>"Hero-hating jerk-face!"! But I missed you, and I don't think Daddy means it<br>either! I think he really likes you, Uncle Artie! But he doesn't stop Alabama  
>from hurting me, and he won't let me help my people rebuild after the storms.<br>I can't help it that I got hurt!

But, anyways...Do you miss me as well, Uncle Artie?

~Elizabeth R. Jones

The state of Georgia

* * *

><p>Georgia,<p>

I prefer my grammar. America's version is baffling. You write in whatever style you like, but seeing the Queen's English being used by someone who normally wouldn't _does_ make me happy.

Um. Er, you were one of my 13 colonies, correct? R-right, you were. Sorry, little bit of a memory loss I've been experiencing... ahaha. M-miss you? Er. S-sure, let's go with that... ahaha.

_You've heard from America_! I a-assume he's back to normal, then? Thank God. But I still haven't found him. Bollocks. Maybe he's avoiding me on purpose, the sod.

England


	316. Mary Read 2

My Dearest England,

Oh come come- You must be joking about becoming a gentle man. I could never  
>picture you in a suit... except on the one occasion. And why are you<br>stuttering? You sound like you've seen a ghost or something. Maybe that  
>Spaniard got to you... I'll show him sooner or later.<p>

And what do you mean I am dead? I'm writing to you of course- if it weren't for  
>this damned prison and fever I'd probably be sailing, and be dragging you out<br>with me.

But I am afraid I must depart for now, see you soon my love.

Once a pirate always a pirate,

Mary Read

* * *

><p>No! Nononono! This is wrong! Mary Read died in Jamaica a <em>long<em> time ago! There is no possible way that you are her and that she is writing to me!

I-I've always been sceptical about ghosts. I mean, I think that there are spirits, but they're not capable of haunting and speaking to mortals as society depicts them!

Are you a practical joker? B-because this certainly isn't f-funny!

I'm not a pirate anymore! D'you not remember the Treaty of London? It is not our business to attack Spaniard ships! B-British pirates are gone! I'm certain you were... _alive_ when we signed that!

You c-can't be writing to me! It would mean all of history was changed, not just m-me. And that's impossible!

Alarmed!England


	317. Montana 1

Dear Grandpa,

Do you remember me? I'm Montana! One of your grandchildren, I saw my siblings  
>were writing you and guessed it'd be fun. How's everything in Britain?<p>

Love,

Montana AKA Melora R. Jones

* * *

><p>I'm currently dealing with what may be a long-gone pirate of mine, a now Communist Hungary, missing America and New England, and Japan who refuses to believe he is no longer in isolation!<p>

How do you _think_ that I'm bloody doing?

England


	318. Moscow 9

Dear Mister Angliya,

I am aware of that. There are things better kept to one's own self, just as  
>there are things to share.<p>

The Moscow Kremlin is old, but with many stories to tell. I hold what the  
>Kremlin says in high regards.<p>

I have many words to use, but I won't. They're vulgar, and I don't like using  
>profanity on family, even if it is directed at my cousin. I just try to keep<br>on good terms with others and visit them when my cousin is on the hunt.

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

You remind me so much of Germany.

Female Germany, that's you.

Positive you are Russian and not German?

...unless you're Germany in disguise.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Moscow, y u so normal?**


	319. New York 15

England,

Hum, I never looked at it like that. I mean, I love being New York and all,  
>but there are times I wish I was just Elena. Like after 911, when everyone  
>was all "Oh, poor New York" and all that. I mean, I loved the attention, but<br>part of me wished I was just Elena.

Lord, why do I bring up the past.

From,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

Without a past, without history, who would we be? _What_ would we be?

Nothing.

So no harm done there, bringing up 11 September. As bad as it was, it's still an important subject to be taught to future generations. You can't deny it happened. Though it seems a bit... _grisly_ to like the attention you received from that.

England


	320. America 19

((Opps sorry. I was Uber busy with stuff. baby america isn't me but whoever it  
>is is doing a good job lol))<p>

It seems like you're back to normal so I just gonna say this. Did you read my  
>letter after you where done with your flashback issue or whatever you want to<br>call it. France says you're pissed at me for the kraft/cadbury issue? It's  
>that really true?<p>

~America

* * *

><p>Oh, thank <em>God <em>you're back to normal. I was looking all over your blasted nation for you, git. Next time you turn into a small child, at least stay in one place, alright?

Don't get gossip for _France_, especially if it concerns me. He exaggerates. I'm not narked. I'm simply annoyed by the fact your giant food corporations are buying _mine_. Cadbury is – _was_ – a source of British pride, and now you Americans have ruined it by buying it!

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 'Tis true. Lots of Britons did not like that.**


	321. Japan 9

What you have written to me? Letters? Past letters?

I burned all of them.

Why would I keep mementos of my weakness folly and naivety?

No, I cannot trust the words you have written. You have proven yourself a liar  
>and an alien scum. I can assure you Iggirisu-jin, that was your normal<br>behavior. I have seen and experienced it. Do not lie and make me think that  
>the pirate has lost his aggression. That is something impossible.<p>

Yes.. you are not trying to shame or mock me. You /are/ shaming and mocking  
>me.. and I am the fool for allowing you to do it.. I cannot find it in myself<br>to hate you, you have guessed correctly. And that disgraces me more than what  
>you could ever have done.<p>

Iggirisu-san.. do you really not know what you did?

I am a fool. Whatever it is, we are not enemies, nor are we friends. We are  
>nothing/ to each other.

Isolationist!Japan

are these things.. Exploding things.. 'reactors'..? you have planted  
>in me to make me so weak? Do not think that your 'curses' and 'spells' that<br>have made me so weak and sluggish are working! I will not turn to you! I will  
>prevail!<p>

PPs. to use such underhanded means to force me.. you are truly despicable and  
>hateful. Never come into my presence again!<p>

* * *

><p><em>Shite...<em>

Japan!

I don't bloody hate you! God, the only reason I'm trying to do anything to help you is because you're my friend, but if you're going to be so thick-headed and not realise that you're living in the bloody present where we're good friends, and we don't have British pirates, and you're not isolated, and I was previously offering to send help to you because of your nuclear reactors which exploded in March along with an earthquake and tsunami which makes sense because they're natural disasters, natural as in _nature_, but now you think it's _my_ damn fault which it bloody isn't and you're being a blasted _sod! _

I'm not a fucking pirate anymore, either! The year is _2011!_ It has been centuries since your isolation and since you decided you hated me, so just get over your damn self, Japan! Bloody ask anyone. Bloody go to the UK embassy in Tokyo.

You're not some bloody xenophobe anymore!

Quit using your bollocks sense of 'pride'! That's total crap, because you're not the Japan _I_ know.

YOU'RE. NOT. IN. ISOLATION. ANY. MORE.

Narked!England


	322. British Columbia 16

Uncle Iggy,

Well, I'm glad you're back to normal, anyway. I missed talking to you... that  
>is, the modern you~ Your letters are practically the highlight of my day!<p>

Pirate title? You were a pirate? That is... Th-That's so cool! I never knew  
>that! Although, at least you didn't say anything 'bad', per se. You just said<br>that I was mistaking myself for Nova Scotia, but that British Columbia was a  
>'wonderful name for a future territory'... Heh.<p>

Mama stayed out of the way mostly, and she has Dad's uncanny ability to stay  
>hidden and undetected. She raised me in my infancy and childhood... We used to<br>hunt and forage together, she taught me songs and her language...

True. I never much liked France, though... I opened up much more willingly to  
>you. You could say I had and still have a certain... Ah... appreciation for<br>you.

Those days were so perfect, though... If only I could go back to my innocence.  
>Perhaps I'll ask Mama to tell me a few of the old stories...?<p>

Love,

Reminiscent!Lyra

* * *

><p>Lyra,<p>

R-really? Th-thanks. I guess.

Y-yeah, I was a... pirate. No, i-it's not that... that... eh. I did a-a _lot_ of damage to a lot of people. I... stole. Plundered. Raided. A-and to nations as well. If you think half the world d-dislikes me now, you should have _seen_ me back then. And I've c-caused the relapse of... other nations. I can't g-get them to... _to_...eeeh.

Your... mother and father? What? I don't r-remember finding any... territories a-and... ugh, the like with... with parents a-a-and whatever the other w-word i-is...

Ugh, my head is starting to throb again. I-I think I'll cut this letter short a-and lay down.. or something. Urgh. S-sorry.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Does England feel bad for yelling at Japan~?**


	323. Flying Mint Bunny 1

Hi England!

I heard you were having some trouble so I want to come and cheer you up! Just  
>keep up the good old imagination muscle and I'll be there real soon.<p>

Wif wuv,

Mint Bunny

* * *

><p>!<p>

_Flying Mint Bunny!_

That's a-awfully kind of you. I'm getting so much crap from everyone right now. I'm about to _lose_ it.

I... wish I had more to say or rant about, because believe me, I'm sick of it. But... I really _don't_. When I get home, I'll give you treats, alright?

England


	324. Anonymous 2

Dear Mr England,

So, England. Are you Catholic or Protestant?

* * *

><p>...whatever the C of E is.<p>

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: C of E= Church of England**

**Disclaimer: England's views are not representative of mine ****ಠ****_****ಠ**


	325. Philippines 2

Kuya Inglattera,

I'm so glad that you liked my home-made rice cakes. It took me a couple of  
>hours to made them...and it was a great thing that you appreciate them!<p>

Maraming salamat! (Thank you very much!)

Oh, by the way, since that you had a taste of my special "bibingka", I would  
>like to ask you a favor. Well...this sounds simple, really.<p>

In exchange for my rice cakes, would you please send me some of  
>your...precious SCONES?<p>

Please...

And before I forget, if you see Kuya Alfred (America), please say "Hello!" for  
>me. I haven't seen him in a while. T-T<p>

P.S. Please forgive Papa Spain for his potty mouth and rude behavior. You see,  
>he's such a pain in the ass sometimes...that's why I had beaten him with my<br>two wooden sticks when I had enough of him, thus I ended up declaring my  
>independence from him years ago...if you know what I mean.<p>

Love lots,

The Republic of the Philippines

* * *

><p>Phillipines,<p>

Ah, you're... welcome.

You want s-scones? A-alright, I'll get to baking them later. When I'm not trying to save other nations' arses.

You actually get along with America after the shite he put you through? I'll g-greet him for you, when I talk to him again.

Don't apologise for Spain. He's the git, not you. Your words are not the same as his.

England


	326. Teruel 9

England...

Oprah is not an advanced term.

Yes, Internet. I read in the Internet that you are in Love with France, that  
>fairies exist and that France is a very sensitive person. I don't trust<br>Internet Humppppfff!

Teruel

Note: awww... I didn't know who's Oprah xD

* * *

><p>You know, somewhere out there is a tree producing enough oxygen for you.<p>

Go find it and apologise to it.

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: Above insult was not made up by me. <strong>


	327. Valencia 23

England~~

Maybe someone sent you one, but Hotmail and Gmail suck so you didn't receive  
>it ;)<p>

I don't hate you... But well, I'm just a region *sighs*

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

I meant a letter-letter, not silly electronic mail. Besides, it's easy to trace someone's location through the computer. Not a very genius plan, unless whoever did this (if anyone did) was a brilliant hacker and knowledgeable with technology. If they're going to bother doing anything to me, I reckon they aren't computer geniuses.

Again, I'm not saying someone did this. Maybe it happened all on my own.

But just because you're a region does not mean you are unimportant.

...for the most part. I don't care much for your git brother Teruel.

England


	328. Kansas 2

Grandpa,

I'm trying my best to keep him here, but you know daddy he moves fast. How on  
>earth did you keep him entertained? But he's so cute I'm definetly a daddy's<br>girl HAHA! Oh and if you don't know the word then you really are a stuffy old  
>man like daddy says, but it's ok you seem fun! So I'll let you know the 'bird'<br>is the word!

Love, Kansas

P.s.- Me and FBM (Flying brown monkey if your stupid and can't figure it out  
>haha) can't wait to see you and FMB, ah damnit dad's chaseing FBM! Hurry!<p>

* * *

><p>Ah, er, he's back to normal now, Kansas. So either I received your letter late or... that is not America.<p>

'Stuffy old man'? If you keep addressing me as your _grandfather _and _insult_ me as such, then I'll probably snap at you and live up to 'stuffy old man', git.

What on earth does a bird have to do with a word?

Good God, honestly. You Americans and your pitiful humour.

Scornful!England


	329. Georgia 2

Y-You forgot me! Maybe Daddy was right?

O-Oh...You used to read me stories and play with me...

And I was going to send you peaches, too...

*Sniff-Sniff*

Daddy? Oh yeah, I heard from that jerk! He was supposed to buy me a  
>wheel-chair, then he disappeared, and I'm stuck in my house! MY HIP HURTS, AND<br>ALABAMA KEEPS MESSING WITH ME!

But Daddy visited me yesterday, so...

* * *

><p>Oh, boo-hoo, I <em>forgot<em> about you! Well, guess _what_, Georgia, _you_ are the ones who broke away from _me_. I have also held many other territories and still do hold some. Is it wrong that I prefer those still loyal to me than those who are not? _Hell no._

Good God, now I have to babysit _you_ too? America is your father. Maybe you should not have declared your independence if you still can't bloody take care of yourselves!

I can't send you a damn wheelchair over the mail. _So_ sorry I can't help you out there.

Tell your siblings to bugger off._ Simple as that_.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: He's getting angry agaaain~ Only time will tell if he relapses once more.**


	330. Hungary 28

See, this is why you should always be prepared. You didn't see this coming and  
>now that's your fault.<p>

your billions seem to be for not, I haven't been met with too much difficulty  
>so far...<p>

I don't have to 'realise' anything!

N-NO IT WASN'T. YOU SHUT UP YOU DAMN BRIT! I-I DON'T NEED t-that...Grr...don't  
>think you've gotten to me with this!<p>

Uff..my head hurts...-what am I doing again? I..don't remember-

You know that wasn't a very smart thing to say to me, Arthur. One of the best  
>nations. Sure, it'll be even better than that soon.<p>

We can both celebrate this when you come back, with America too. Surely you'll  
>need your magic things to fix him, hm? They're right here, you know. Quite<br>interesting...-

WHY DO I SOUND LIKE A COMMIE ROBOT? NAAAHHH!

Ignore That,

Commie!Elizaveta

* * *

><p>LEAVE MY NATION ALONE!<p>

I'M TRYING TO HELP OTHERS WITHOUT _FORCING A WHOLE NEW GOVERNMENT SYSTEM_ ON THEM!

AND YES, COMMUNISM UTTERLY FAILED FOR YOU. THERE WAS A WHOLE REVOLUTION. IT WILL ONLY HAPEN AGAIN, AND OUR FOREIGN RELATIONS WILL BE RUINED. WE'RE ON FRIENDLY TERMS, OR RATHER, _WERE_ BEFORE YOUR CRAZY BINT SELF DECIDED TO GO COMMUNIST!

MAYBE I'M NOT HARMING YOU BECAUSE I DON'T _WANT_ TO!

THIS ISN'T YOU, HUNGARY!

LEAVE NOW OR I _WILL_ USE FULL FORCES AGAINST YOU.

YOU'RE NOT A COMMUNIST!


	331. Texas 4

Shut up, it's not my fault my boss does this stuff wothout consulting me!  
>Well, I can tell you we aren't going to be seceding from Dad.<p>

And why have I been hearing that Dad has been turned into a baby. What  
>happened!<p>

Mike

* * *

><p>What a shame. He'd be better off <em>without<em> you.

You really _are_ lost, aren't you?

Damn Texans. Probably why you rank 34 out of 50 in intellect across America's states!

He's not a bloody baby anymore, but he was. Countries worldwide are going barmy.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yup, Texas really does rank that low. It was in some study/article thingy I read somewhere; fairly recent.**


	332. New England 9

England,

Really?...but, just a little while ago I remember t-that everyone was mad  
>about the Townshend Acts...and the Tea Acts...<p>

What? but I couldn't hate you! N-Not that much...though the things you've done  
>to me lately haven't been very...nice. I still love you! J-Just..don't do<br>those things anymore, please?

I haven't done much with my magic lately. Also Lately I haven't been able to  
>see Uni or any of my other friends. I wonder where they went...<p>

I-I don't know! I could be wrong, sorry..

Why not? Mattie says Francey is really nice! He likes to come to my beaches a  
>lot.<p>

I'm at Salisbury Beach! It's really nice out. I didn't wanna stay home because  
>the thunderstorm was scary.<p>

Ooo! Hi Mr!...You talks funny. England, there's this guy here, he wants to  
>give me pizza!<p>

But it takes a long time to walk from here to Boston!

Chibi!NewEngland

* * *

><p><em>WHAT?<em>

Don't tell me _history_ has gone backwards as well, not just us...!

Oh God. Ohgodohgodohgod.

I'm going to have to use magic. Or... ugh, ask my brothers for help. Ugh.

Are you going to trust me or Canada? _._

-exasperated sigh- A-alright, fine, stay at Salisbury Beach. I'll have to work on a spell, maybe I can implement it on the letter directly.

_But no matter what, don't listen to strangers. _

England


	333. Spain 13

Inglaterra,

Since I'm being forced by my sister and government...

I-is there anything you need? I understand you...uhm, going through a hard  
>time right now...<p>

Elizaveta and I are good friends so...yeah.

Blahh-that's disgusting sounding.

Inglaterra, I wasn't being serious. Seriously. I'm not that broke that I need  
>to come begging to you for help. That's what my sister is for.<p>

España

* * *

><p>Take your pick:<p>

1. Convince Hungary she is not Communist. Stop her from invading my country. And I know that's what I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm in America. However, I need a spell to change New England back. I might end up going back home to deal with Hungary and do my sorcery there.

2. Convince Japan he is not in isolation from the world anymore.

3. Convince _me_ Mary Read, a woman pirate dead since the early 18th century, has not come back to haunt me. I know ghosts are real, but they don't come from back in time!

But you don't actually need to help if it's being _forced_ on you.

England


	334. Veneziano 2

Mr. England,

I'm sorry that my brother bothered you so much, Mr. England, sir. He's always  
>been nice to me, but I know that Germany complains about him a lot... Ve, I'm<br>not quite sure why he he's like that.

Dios mio, I was wondering what Big Brother Spain was talking about! I hope  
>that you manage to calm the other nations down. Wait, Japan is suffering from<br>a historical lapse as well? Ve, I was wondering why he wasn't answering my  
>calls. Do you need help with Japan, Mr. England, or with finding America? Ve,<br>we don't have a lot going on in my place where I'm needed, so...

Ve, if all those bad things are happening why is it wonderful?

Oh, well, I can send you more if you like! I like making food for people!

So, whenever Big Brother France is talking about you, I should take it as a  
>lie?<p>

I'm a bit confused, Mr. England, but if you need anything, I know that I'm not  
>very reliable, but I'll do my best!<p>

Veneziano

* * *

><p>Italy,<p>

It's... complicated. Don't worry about that, though.

It appears he is. He won't believe me when I tell him that he's no longer in isolation. It's difficult. Ugh. America, thankfully, has been found. But if you could get some sense into _Japan's_ head, I'd appreciate it.

But isn't your prime minister in trial or someth-? Wait, forget I asked. I'm sure it's troublesome enough.

_Sigh_. I-ignore that.

I'm... good for now, thanks.

Yes, you should. There is a mutual hatred we have for each other, hence why he tries to slander me.

You know, you're a good person, Italy. Th-thanks.

England


	335. Georgia 3

Oh so you wanna play THAT game, do ya?

I'll come visit you when things settle down~ Maybe seeing my chainsaw will  
>spark your memory!<p>

And it wasn't my fault! Daddy was the one in control! Maybe I OBJECTED! And  
>maybe I'm regretting it now, **!<p>

You're just what Iowa said! A stuck up british prat who needs to be taught a  
>lesson!<p>

~Georgia~

* * *

><p>Oh, <em>how<em> your threats make me tremble!

Pfft. Because certainly, a stupid little state like you can defeat _me_.

Aw, still trying to insult me? Cute.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Pandemic 2 is really really fun o3o /played it nonstop**


	336. Hungary 29

WHAT NATION? OH WAIT, IT'S MINE NOW! THATS RIGHT! HAHAHA!

IM NOT CRAZY. YOUR CRAZY. I'M PERFECTLY FINE!

-U-Ugh...-what isn't me?...you're confusing, you know.

Well, that's nice to know you don't wanna hurt me. Thanks,-

I WILL MAKE THE WORLD ONE BIG HAPPY F-

BUDAPEST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT FRYING PAN! OH DONT YOU D-

Hello Mr. United Kingdom of Great Britan and Northern Ireland,

This is Budapest! I smached Lizzie upside the head. We'll be taking her out of  
>England now. London called and told me what she was doing, so I came right<br>away.

Sorry For The Trouble,

Licia Herdevary(Budapest, Capital of Hungary)

* * *

><p>Forgive me if I sound snappy, Budapest, but I'm dealing with other particularly <em>sane<em>, _happy_ nations/states/provinces/I don't even know what the bloody hell to call them at the moment. Ugh.

Thanks for getting your crazy mother out of my country. Get Austria or Germany, someone that will be strict, to watch her, just in case she wants to 'unite us all' under her twisted idea of a family again.

England


	337. Spain 14

Inglaterra,

Oh Jesus...wow. I'm actually sorry that I've been a pain.

Uhm. Well. For starters...WHAT THE FUCK! Excuse my French but...Mary Read is  
>sitting on a tall ship in my waters...yelling profanities at my sailors...<p>

I think we both need convincing she's dead, Inglaterra.

But I'll get on that with Elizaveta, she's been writing to me as well and been  
>acting awfully bizarre-so don't worry about that, all right?<p>

Lo siento once again,

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

Hungary has been taken care of. In a rather... unconventional way, but taken care of nonetheless. I just hope she doesn't get loopy again.

A-and you say M-Mary is in your... your...? _Eeeh_.

I-I'll go over there, make sure another Anglo-Spanish War does _not_ take place.

And I still need to get New England back to normal... I'll think I'll actually have to ask my good-for-nothing brothers for help. Ugh.

God, why must you torture me so? I've been good these past few centuries... well, er, _decades_...

England


	338. British Columbia 17

Uncle Iggy,

Are you ill? Your handwriting was very messy in that letter. I'm rather  
>worried about you... Get some rest, okay? That whole phasing thing must have<br>taken a lot out of you... I understand you being worried about the other  
>nations, but you need to take care of yourself first.<p>

Mama Haida's not really my mother, per se. She represents all the native  
>tribes that lived and live in my land. She's been around as long as I can<br>remember and when I was a small child, she was there to take care of me, sort  
>of like you took care of Uncle Al. And I hope you remember Dad. Canada.<br>Although, I'll let of slide because you're obviously not well.

Please be careful, Uncle Iggy. I care about you a lot and I'd hate to see you  
>get sick from stress...<p>

Lots of love,

Lyra.

PS. I sent a few packets of maple tea, and some dried feverfew for you. Try  
>crushing the feverfew into your tea. It literally gets rid of headaches within<br>minutes.

* * *

><p>That's total bollocks.<p>

I'm but _one_ nation, and I need to help my friends. Plural. _Other_ nations. Especially because this is maybe, sort of, slightly, _kind of_ my fault. History seems to be completely off, and honestly, I've _no_ bloody idea how to fix it, but I can try.

A gentleman does not abandon others to suit his own needs.

I'll be fine, you should not waste your worries on me; you should worry over the fact that I'm unsure if everything will be normal again. Magic will be inevitable in use, and mine isn't powerful enough by its own. I hate to admit it, but I'll probably end up asking my brothers for help...

I appreciate the tea, but I don't think I have time to drink that now, as much as I would like to. I have to think of a way to get Mary Read to go away to wherever spirits go. Then again, if she is physically in Spain, that means she's _solid_ in matter... and ghosts are _transparent_... they can't-

_Oh, God._

England


	339. New England 10

England,

N-No. Things look kinda funny here. There's these big thingys, with wheeles!  
>They look like..m-mail carts? without horses! I wonder what they do-They have<br>windows too!

Did I make you stressed? I'm sorry! Don't be mad!...I don't want another  
>Boston Massacre.<p>

Um, you I guess. Mattie hasn't lied to me before though. He's usually really  
>nice to me. He comes to visit and teaches me how to play games.<p>

Okay, I'll stay here. I hope you get here soon. You haven't visited since  
>1689, when you changed the charters. Maybe when you get here we can go play in<br>the ocean! You could teach me! I'm not so good at swimming yet.

If you need magic stuff, there's some at my house. I was playing with it a few  
>days ago!<p>

Mr. Pizza man left. The food was good...-

Okay, from here on out I'm mute!

Mhhfmhffmfhff!

Chibi!NewEngland

* * *

><p>That is one of the few pieces of good news I have heard. So at least history is fine over there.<p>

N-no, it's not you, don't worry, New England. A massacre won't happen again, either.

Canada is nice, but France treats him differently than he would to you. Not in a good way. That is why you must stay away from France, because he'd probably be mean to you, and I don't trust him.

...eh. The s-swimming thing can wait, a-alright?

Since I have to go to Spain to negotiate with a... former acquaintance of mine, I can't cast an ageing spell on you in person, but hopefully this will do: you should receive a flask with this letter. Drink its contents. Hopefully, you will age _at least_ three centuries. I made it fairly quickly, so I'm not sure what age effect it will have. I doubt it's enough to get you to your 2011-self, but maybe a few decades or so before... if that makes sense.

Ah, just drink it, and keep writing to me so I know if I need to do anything else.

England


	340. Moscow 10

Dear Mister Angliya,

Germany? I have never met him.

Nyet, I am Russian through and through.

Saint Petersburg, how did you get into my house? I don't care about that! Hey!  
>Be careful with - are you trying to destroy my house, durak? That was very<br>important to me, what you ju-

Oops, there's that again. Sorry.

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Not even during World War 2? Germany tried to take over Russia. Unless you were too small, which is probably the case.

Are there _locks_ in Russia? You have problems keeping family out of your house.

England


	341. Texas 5

Nah, he needs all of his kids, he's not a man to just ditch 'em.

I'd says he's better off without YOU Old man.

Psh, whatever, at least we aren't the lowest.

Well, that's good. It'd be weird to have a baby as a dad. Really, the other  
>countries are doing that weird relapsing thing you're doing. Hmm<p>

Mike

* * *

><p>I'm not relapsing anymore! Unlike you, <em>Texas<em>, I'm off my lazy arse doing _something_, instead of criticising others who are working while I do nothing myself!

I'm dealing with enough shite at the moment; don't make me add you to the list of places I need to bomb later. I'd gotten my temper in control for a second but you ruined it all, bastard.

Team up with Georgia, at least, so less paper is wasted with your rants about me.

Narked!England


	342. New York 16

England,

*sigh* I suppose.

I didn't mean it like that. I didn't really like the attention, it was just,  
>well, the spotlight was on me. I wish it was a better situation though. But,<br>when you have 49 brothers and sisters, well, its nice to be cared for a little  
>bit.<p>

*sigh* I wish I wasn't under house arrest, I wish I wasn't sick, Jesus fucking  
>Christ, I wish I wasn't so fucking depressed!<p>

I'm gonna go curl up in my bed now.

~ Depressed! Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>Oh God. Issues <em>everywhere<em>.

_Sigh_. Talk to... to a brother or sister of yours o-or _something_. I can't be of much help at the moment. Sorry. Got other stuff to do.

In fact, I'm trying my best to not go off on you. Your siblings are aggravating me and the world is in chaos, yet there's others who are _yelling_ at me to do something and fix what I caused, which I'm _trying_ to do, but unfortunately there's only _one_ of me and _multiple_ things to fix, damn it!

Narked!England


	343. Veneziano 3

Mr England,

But I'm supposed to worry about mio fratello, Mr. England! If I don't worry  
>about him, who else would?<p>

Well, Japan has never taken me seriously. I think he thinks I'm just a bother,  
>but maybe that might help get to him. Since Japan thinks your a threat during<br>his isolation, maybe he'll believe me since I couldn't hurt him at that period  
>of time. Ve, it's still sad that Japan is confused like that.<p>

Ve, my prime minister is in trial, but I'm not supposed to have anything to do  
>with it. They think I'll just be a distraction and a threat to national<br>security. Or something, ve. They're more worried about Romano since he's still  
>heavily connected to the Mafia, ve, and who knows what he'll do.<p>

Are you sure, Mr. England? If you said something in a letter it must be  
>important somehow, ve? Especially since you can't take the away.<p>

How about tiramisu? You enjoyed that the last time you visited. Ve, are you  
>sure? Oh! Do you feel awkward because you're getting all the food! You can<br>send me scones or shepard's pie or some other English food if you'd like, Mr.  
>England! Ve, it would be like a cultural exchange or something! You boss would<br>like that, right?

But does that mean I should take whatever you say about him as a lie too,  
>since you said you hate him back? But then that would mean you were lying<br>about him lying, and that makes no sense! Ve, my head is starting to hurt!

Well, our bosses were friendly, Mr. England, and you're not as mean as  
>everyone tries to say you are. You're nice to Japan, and you're nice to amici<br>miei so sei un mio amico!

Veneziano

* * *

><p>Italy, I meant to not worry over your brother pestering me.<p>

Please, if you can get Japan calm again, that would be an enormous help. I'm positive that you weren't trying to kill him, as he believes I am, during that time, so perhaps you'll be welcome and you can convince him we live in 2011, not during his isolation period.

Watch your brother carefully as well. I don't want to know what would happen if _he_ got trigger-happy because of his mafia.

_Just bloody ignore it, Italy! _

. . .

S-sorry. I'm just... under some stress at the moment. If I go off on you, I-I don't mean it.

I don't want any food at the moment, thank you. Perhaps... some _other_ time. I have not seen or heard from my boss nor the Royal Family for a long while, and it _worries_ me so...

...don't waste your time thinking about my and France's hate relationship, either. but if it will make you less confused, he says lies about me, but I just insult him. No slanderous, blasphemous rumours, just insults. He, however, tries to ruin my good name. He lies about that. He can call me whatever insult he wants, I bloody don't care, but when he starts to make up things, _that_ is when I get narked.

Th-thanks.

England


	344. Scotland 1

WELL, WELL,

If it isn't my little snot-nosed runt of a brother. How come you didn't tell  
>me your mailbox was open, huh? Didn't want me sending you letters~? Heh heh.<br>You had to know I'd find out eventually.

Maybe I need to teach you a nice, tough lesson about keeping your big brothers  
>in the loop, aye?<p>

I've heard a bit about all the shit going down with you right now. You're  
>phasing? And you started the phasing of other nations? Maaan, they're gonna<br>HATE you when they're back to the present.

I cannae wait to see you try and talk your way out of this one. Hahaha!

Lots of love... NOT,

Scotland.

PS. Have you gotten any taller, or are ye still a runty little bastard?

* * *

><p>FUCK YOU, SCOTLAND.<p>

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Bahaha. So much for asking for help.**


	345. Japan 10

... Iggirisu-jin.. I suppose I must be.. grateful to you. You have made this  
>one realize something important.<p>

In order to rid Nihon of flaws.. the cause of the flaws must be rid. This one  
>does not know what to think of your words or situation, but it will not matter<br>soon.

If what you say is true, than this one is a fool. But if what you say is not,  
>than this one would be all the bigger a fool. Japan is cannot be allowed to be<br>represented by a fool. This one is given three days to prepare.

Despite this, this one would like to know. If this one is not the Japan you  
>know, which is? How is the Japan you know like? How do you regard that Japan?<br>While this one is being a fool to do this, please, write, tell more of the  
>Japan you know in these three days.<p>

Please excuse this one going beyond what this one should be allowed to do in  
>this letter. This one awaits your reply.<p>

Isolationist?Japan

* * *

><p><em>WHAT THE BLOODY HELL JAPAN, DON'T KILL YOURSELF!<em>

And why are you referring to yourself as 'this one ? ! You're still the _same_ Japan I know! Nothing has changed! Please see the truth in this! H-hasn't Italy visited you yet? Surely, if _my_ words fall on deaf ears, _he_ can c-convince you!

Don't kill yourself! Are you mad ? !


	346. Manila 1

ISANG MALAKING KAMALIAN! (A BIG MISTAKE!)

Why the hell did my sister, Philippines wrote to you days ago? Diyos ko! (My  
>God!)<p>

Gyah! If she only knew how cruel you were way back 1762-1764...YOU ALMOST  
>CRUSHED MY VITAL REGIONS, YOU BLOOD-LOVING MURDEROUS BRIT!<p>

Oh...yeah...I think you haven't remembered it, have you? Well...just take a  
>quick scan in your head...maybe you'll remember something.<p>

And...yes...you're nothing but a fragment of my people's imagination! They  
>didn't even know that British troops had sailed here in the capital!<p>

SUCKER! Wahahahahaha! XD

Bastardo! (Bastard!)

My sister gave me some of your "petrified couch stuffing" SCONES a while ago!  
>THEY TASTED LIKE...I don't want to offend you any longer...really...<p>

With lots of hatred,

Manila...(I hope you won't forget me, Brit!)

* * *

><p>IF YOU NATIONS ARE JUST WRITING TO ME TO FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT ME, THEN JUST. BLOODY. STOP!<p>

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHITE!

SO BELT THE HELL UP!

YOU _AND_ THE OTHER BASTARDS THAT INHABIT THIS PLANET!

NARKED!SNAPPED!England


	347. America 20

I'll talk to my boss about it. In the mean time, I was busy with Afghanistan  
>so I'm guessing either Tony did something or someone else had too much time on<br>their hands. Anyways I'm sorry you were concerned about all this. You know I  
>can make it all better for you<p>

~Alfred

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

A-Alfred, you know I'm not one t-to get mushy and all, but have I ever told you h-how much you mean to me?

Arthur

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Daaw. Perfect timing.**


	348. Mary Read 3

My dearest Arthur,

I know you have a lot of problems on your deck but I have a proposition,  
>savvy? Now- if you get me out of this Jamacian prison and get me a ship. I<br>will do my best to get that wench; 'Hungary' off ye hands- give her the black  
>spot or let 'er meet Davey hiimself. But I would greatly appreciate it if you<br>came sooner rather than later because I'd rather not dance the hempen jig.

*next couple lines are illegible due to the cough that rattles her* Ugh.  
>Arthur I feel awful, I be in Davy's grip I am. I doubt ya feel any better<br>though with that wench attackin' the main land.

And There's also the little lads n' lass's o yers runnin' 'round, savvy? How'd  
>they like to meet a pirate if their old pa is off knocking some sense into a<br>scallywag Japan.

But I'll try and send ye some bumboo to ye to get you to slacken that paranoia  
>of yers. It always got in the way it seems.<p>

So if you say I'm dead, how did I die? Did I ever leave the prison or did Davy  
>Jones finally get the better of me? Or did I escape and die at sea.<p>

I...feel for you even though you might have turned into a lubber.

Your faithful partner,

Mary Read

* * *

><p><em>Sigh<em>. Alright, Mary. Here goes.

I heard you are in Spain's waters, threatening him from afar, along with other pirates. I don't care why you're there or where they came from, but leave. We are no longer enemies with Spain. We are no longer a pirate nation. We are

I was on my way over there to negotiate in person, but I'm... experiencing travelling troubles at the moment.

Please listen to me.

You are not supposed to be alive. Your time already came. Our pirating days were great, but they are at an end. Wherever you came from, please leave, and take the other pirates with you.

I'm... not sure how you died. There's several different records stating several different things. I believe that you became sick, though, and that eventually took your life.

So please, j-just leave. Rest in the spirit world. You deserve it.

England


	349. Mexico 2

Oh well, I guess I was being too formal ...

I asked America what he called you so..

Iggy!

*hugs tightly*

Uwa... I'm glad we can be friends honestly I've felt so lonely lately ever  
>since America started pushing me away :(<p>

...

No sad things... anyway, I'm glad you liked our pastries! I received your  
>scones, they were quite yummy *.* you should try it with MEXICAN hot<br>chocolate :) there is nothing better than real hot chocolate (sending that in  
>the mail) Sooo good. I don't see why everyone complains about your food :( I<br>say they have weak stomachs cause I have the same problem... only tourists tend  
>to keep glomming the food ... even though they get sick... I say weak<br>stomachs... might I recommend peptobismol? Hope you've heard of it? Bright  
>pink, heavy liquid? Helps the tourists get better :D<p>

Ahhh yes, you are talking about la llorona? Oh yeah, blame that on Spain he  
>is the reason we have that ghost roaming in the middle of the night!<p>

Jejeje I've heard that you tend to curse... want to exchange? *.*

...

WHAT you've never heard of the almighty Aztec and Mayan empires? (Belize just  
>told me) O.O<p>

? That is really strange, I mean weren't you plundering the Caribbean when you  
>were a pirate? You must have heard of the somehow?<p>

Oppp, guess I wrote to much :D and I know that you are busy person! Its not  
>like we have "all the time in the world" :D<p>

Maria - Mexico

PS: ;D Honey I have the biggest mafia, how else do you think I could send that  
>tequila<p>

PS2: I do hope I am no butchering your lovely language :( being near America  
>does not help!<p>

uggg ...

*evil smirk* have you ever heard him speak spanglish? *jajaj blackmail*... I  
>will complain in the next letter... I think we both have found something in<br>common.

* * *

><p>Mexico,<p>

Thanks for the suggestion. And the compliment. A lot of nations have some sort of grudge against me. Guess that's why.

Yeah... her. Why is Spain the reason?

I'm sure I've heard about them, but I don't remember them. Though I never claimed Mexico as my own. I don't think I ever ran into any of your native people, but... I'm certain tales about them reached my ears, at some point.

It's... fine.

England

P.S. That's true, I suppose. Yours are more gangs than anything, the Mafia term really applies to the Sicilians more.

P.P.S. You're writing fine. I was also unaware America spoke any other languages.


	350. Valencia 24

England,

Yes, you're right. Maybe it was... fate! O.o

Ohh... thanks you *blush*

Teruel is not a git... He's... special

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Ah, I sincerely doubt it. I don't think there's such a thing as 'fate' or 'destiny'; that's all bollocks.

Special is synonymous with git, in this case.

I think I see his letter next. I'm sick of people's hate mail, so forgive me in advance when I say that I will not be particularly _pleasant_ replying to him.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: AM I THE ONLY ONE GETTING FLOODED WITH EMAIL UPDATES ON PAST STORIES? O_O**

**I thought it was weird I hand't been getting them, and now BAM. Electronic chaos. I'm so confused x-x**


	351. Teruel 10

You know, somewhere out there are hundreds of trees producing enough oxygen  
>for you AND your huge eyebrows<p>

Go find them and apologise to them :)

Teruel

PS: I found my tree. It looked happy, not like yours. hmmppfff!

* * *

><p>Have you got <em>nothing<em> better to do than to write to me, when it is _very_ clear you dislike me?

I'm not forcing to to reply, nor did I ever plead for your correspondence.

You, sir, may _kindly_ bugger off.

You are a hypocritical wanker.

Scornful!England


	352. Kansas 3

Grandpa,

Yeah you must have got my letter late, I don't know what you did but I guess  
>you succeded cause dad's back to his anoying self i kinda miss him as a babe.<br>sigh... Anyways sorry for all the threats but dealing with dad can give me a  
>headache you should still come visit sometime though love ya!<p>

Kansas

P.s.- send me tea!

* * *

><p>Kansas,<p>

I... actually didn't do anything. Whatever happened to him vanished, or... something.

That's quite true. America is a walking headache. I don't blame you. I feel awfully tired today, as well. My insults, even, were half-hearted. My _insults_. If there is something I can say off the top of my head with ease, it's the flaws in people. But not today, it seems. Stress is getting to me, I think.

I'm finally home, but I probably won't be for long, since there's Japan all the way in Asia that I still need to deal with. _Sigh_. I'll find a tea crate later, alright?

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah, okay, so I'm not alone with the update flood.**

**Sorry for spamming yall Dx Dumb FF.**


	353. Bermuda 2

yo, england!

thanks for writin back. dude, i live NEXT DOOR to him- its kinda funny just  
>watchin him get excited over tiny things. oh and doesn't kiku call you<br>'igirusu' or something? can i call ya iggy? 8D

from,

Bermuda

PS. know any places where i can get a new straw hat? i lost my old one.

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

It is the proper thing to do, and as you know, I _have_ manners. I reply if someone writes to me. Even if it's just a _rant_ about me...

Past tense there, actually. 'Called'. He's switching names for me, and I've honestly no clue what the difference is, but probably not something good, seeing as he believed I was trying to murder him but now he's threatening suicide. Er, yeah.

That name gets on my nerves, I have to say. However it seems to be rather common now, so I don't really care anymore. But how hard is it to call me England? That's two syllables, as is that atrocious Iggy nonsense.

I do not know of any places where you can purchase a straw hat.

England


	354. Hungary 30

Oii, England,...

What happnened?

Elizaveta

Mr. England,

M-MOTHER? S-She's not my mother! I-I think I'd be derranged if she was my  
>mother...<p>

I hope things work out with the other nations/states/provinces/idkwtbhtctatm.

Though I don't care for him, I'll bring her to Austria.

Licia(Budapest)

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

You turned Communist and tried to force this type of government upon everyone. You started by invading _me_.

I've saved your past letters, just in case, and it's a good thing I did. I've sent them with this one. Read and see for yourself.

Budapest,

Ah, sorry then. I assumed. What relation is she to you, then?

I hope so too. Eh.

That seems like the best option. But also make sure that Hungary's frying pan is nowhere near her for the next few days, _just_ in case.

England


	355. Spain 15

Inglaterra,

Ehhh-if Elizaveta ever gets like that again, just let me know and I'll deal  
>with her before she gets out of hand<p>

S-she just shot at me! And she didn't miss! Get your damn pirate already!

G-gracias...if you need me, I'll be getting a bullet out of my  
>shoulder...ouchhhh.<p>

You mean Scotland and them? Ehhh-they're so rude...like, considerably more  
>rude than Alfred is when he's hyper. I would tell you to ask Belize for help,<br>but he's with Guatemala right now-and I think they took a spa trip. Perhaps  
>he's back?<p>

God tortures me too, Inglaterra. It happens to the best of us.

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

I trust she will be alright for now. I'll keep your offer of help in mind, should anything arise.

She is gone _now_, r-right? I wrote to her, asking for her to leave, and I am back home already. Your nation's coast seems clear to me. Mary was never one to defy my orders, anyway, no matter how much she disliked them.

S-sorry about the bullet. I didn't cause it, but my pirates wouldn't be ones to apologise for shooting at you.

...yes, _those_ bastards. Don't bother asking Belize. Since I... _sort of_ retook him a while back, I think keeping a distance between us is best for now.

You know what I just realised? You are not insulting me for once.

Hmm. You _can_ be civil.

England


	356. British Columbia 18

Uncle Iggy,

Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed in you... Rejecting someone else's help isn't  
>very gentlemanly, no matter the situation.<p>

I'll ask Mama Haida about the whole ghost thing. Her people have lots of  
>mythology about the dead and so on. Maybe I can find something useful?<p>

-huff- And if my CARING about you is a waste, then I guess I won't bother  
>anymore... Wh-whatever...<p>

British Columbia.

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

But you did not _offer_ your _help_; you _suggested_ I _rest_. Suggestions are meant to be accepted or declined, and I will go for the latter in this one. Simply because I refuse to do that does not mean I don't like you or don't care for you, as you seem to have taken it this way. Don't be so personal about it. I'm only trying to help others; is it so wrong I put them before myself?

England


	357. New York 17

England,

Is there anything I can do to help?

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

Unfortunately, I do not think so. They can only be fixed with magic, really, and I believe you do not practise it. Unless you can think of a way to get New England normal again and Japan out of his barmy mindset _without_ using sorcery, but I can't. Reasonable talking did nothing for the latter, and the potion I concocted was not _too_ powerful. If it even worked.

Eh.

England


	358. Scotland 2

Oh? My little brother's got a bit of a potty mouth. Heh heh... I'll be sure  
>t'remember that little comment when I see ye next. How's a date with a bar of<br>soap sound, eh? Wash out that shitty little mouth for ye?

So, you gon' beg and plead for my help? 'Cause it definitely sounds like ye've  
>screwed up pretty badly all on yer own. Methinks Big Bro's gonna have to bail<br>you out, like usual.

At least it'll be nice to have ye owin' me a favor or two afterward~

Scotland

PS. Sassanack whelp.

* * *

><p>Ugh. I wasn't in a bad mood, but seeing your letter just ruined my whole day.<p>

Just because you're o-older than me does not mean you can treat me like... like I'm a _baby!_ Like _you_ have a vocabulary the angels would swoon at. Hmph. Hypocritical git.

N-no! I wasn't going to ask for your help because all that you sods ever did was laugh and curse me! Throughout my entire childhood, it was just me, by myself, with no help at all. Not even from my own brothers. You're a disgrace to me and I hate the fact that I am related to you and Wales and Northern Ireland!

I can get everything back to normal by _myself_, thanks.

England

P.S. Sheep fucker.


	359. New England 11

E-England,

O-Okay then...-okay England. If you're sure it won't..

Really? Huh...is he a guy with a scarf? cause if so he's walking this way.

Mean to me? But he seems nice.

Aww..I really wanted to go swimming with you! And then you could show me how  
>to make scones!<p>

The thingy tasted funny..I didn't like it...

I f-feel a little bigger, maybe 36 inches now? but th-thats it...is that  
>normal for a 5 year old?<p>

I remember some new things though! L-like..um..

Common Sense! I really like that pamphlet..A-Also I remember that Mr.  
>Jefferson wrote a-<p>

D-Declaration..of Independence...

Um..I-..uh...um...

...

ChibiNewEngland

* * *

><p>Get the hell away if he has a scarf because that's Russia! He is <em>dangerous<em> and you should always be at least 500 feet away from that _loon_. I don't trust him one bit.

But if he has a small scar on his forehead, along with the scarf, that's The Netherlands. Also get away from him. He's shady.

Looks are deceiving.

We can't engage in recreational activities such as that, New England, because first I need you to be old again. I'm back home, so I have what I need to conjure a spell, but I'm not sure if it's powerful enough.

In fact, I put the spell on this letter, so you should have _hopefully_ grown some when you touched it in the first place.

36 inches? Damn, you Americans and the Imperial measuring system. Of all things to keep from the colonial period, it had to be that. Um, that's... bugger, why can't I remember? I made it up, anyw- oh, yes, that's about a meter, right? Um, that's about average height for your age... I think. God, it's been a while since I raised any children, so I don't remember.

But the best way to know is for you to tell me your most recent memories. Now that I put the spell on the letter, tell me the most current event that you can think of that happened to you.

Because what you mentioned is still back in the 18th century...

England


	360. palmtoptiger 1

Dear Britain,

I'm hoping you don't have any ill feelings against the American revolutionary  
>war, because I am going to bring it up. First, do you get pissy when you think<br>about how we kicked your butt in the war? Second, if you we're babysitting  
>America more, instead of fighting with France (dont worry I hate him too) he<br>most likely would have had a little more respect for you? Your awesome, and I  
>want to visit you, so our imaginary friends can play, and we can put curses on<br>France.

Love,

Your favorite person in the U.S.

P.s. When I rule the world, will you be my co-ruler? I would love that!

* * *

><p>To Whom it May Concern,<p>

Don't bring up the bloody American revolution. I will make no further comments on that.

...or on that.

Or _that_.

As tempting as cursing France sounds, I have to use my magic on other things. Besides, my bosses would not be pleased if the frog _actually_ turned into an amphibian. For the sake of international relations, I must abstain.

Wh-what? Rule the world? Whoever you are, you are sadly mistaken. But even if that were so, my time as an empire has passed...

England


	361. Mary Read 4

To my dearest friend,

I am sorry I have caused trouble to you and others- I guess I am still stuck  
>back in the 1700s. Please, forgive me my dear.<p>

A-and I apologize for being a nuisance. I am trying to leave as I write this  
>letter to you. *next sentence is blurry with crimson stains* But unfortunately<br>magyk is what brought me here and for the next few moons I am stranded. But-  
>so I don't wind up killing any one unneeding to meet Davey Jones do you mind<br>filling me in on the world at large?

I n-now know I am not belonging in this world. I accidentally scared a couple  
>of people while wandering about the island.<p>

they called me a historical actor; what be that?

So long my love. I enjoy you think I should rest in peace- even though I don't  
>really want to lay down my cutlass and join the locker.<p>

Goodbye for now- mate,

Mary Read

* * *

><p>Mary,<p>

I-it's not your fault you... came back from wherever. And you're not to blame either for believing Spain was our enemy, how would you know? You would not be aware of history moving on. Though I would have thought that in your... spirit world, you could watch over us. I suppose that's just a myth.

Oh dear, filling you in on the world? Um. Well, I am no longer a pirate, as you can tell. Nor is our empire the biggest in the world. We still have some control over our old territories, but they are recognised, for the most part, as their own nations.

Wars take place on land. Weapons use technology that in the 18th century would have been but a dream. It is a common sight to see wars in the Middle East and Asia, not so much here. There were two wars in which nearly the whole world participated.

Er, other things... let me think. Um, we're still doing fairly well, despite not being the world's superpower or leader in many movements anymore. Aaand I think that's about it, for us, at least. Because for whatever reason, Hungary went Communist, New England became a baby, and Japan refuses foreign aid.

R-really? Ah, well that's because historical actors, as their name suggests, reenact history. Best to keep it at that. Don't need the public to know real ghost pirates haunted the Spanish coast.

You were a great pirate, Mary. It was an honour to serve alongside you.

England


	362. Veneziano 4

Mr. England,

Ve! I'm very sorry for the misunderstandind, Mr. England!

I-I'm not sure how much help I am with Japan. I've been sending him letters  
>and calling all of his phones and he won't answer! I even tried calling his<br>boss, ve! I'm really worried, so I'm heading out to his place right now. I'll  
>do my best to convince him, Mr. England, and I'll send a letter when something<br>happens!

Ve, Romano isn't like that! ...but I tricked him into staying with Big Brother  
>Spain, just in case. Big Brother Spain might not be very bossy but he'll take<br>care of fratello. Besides, I know the capo famiglia better, and he likes me  
>more. Ve, he won't do anything without mio va bene.<p>

...Mr. England, if you need someone to yell at, it's fine if it's me. A lot of  
>people yell at me all the time, so I don't even notice anymore. If it'll help<br>go ahead! Ve, I know you're really stressed.

Maybe you should go find your Queen first, and see if America can help you  
>find um, New England, I think it was? Since New England is America's kid, it'd<br>be better if he found him and watched him until you figured out what to do,  
>ve? Besides, America has so many kids, I'm sure one will be able to take care<br>of him!

Oh! I understand now, Mr. England, and I'm sorry if I irritated you by not  
>understanding. I'll try not to listen to him!<p>

And you're welcome, Mr. England! You're the only person besides Germany and  
>Japan who try explaining things to me when I get confused. Of course you're my<br>friend! So if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask! That's what friends  
>do, ve!<p>

Ti saluto,

Veneziano

* * *

><p>Italy,<p>

Ah, it's... fine.

H-he won't? Oh, God. I know nations can't die, but I am unsure of what would happen to him, either way. Extreme pain, certainly, but... that can't be all. I would much rather not know. I appreciate you trying to help, Italy. Really.

Your brother is protective of you and likes you, but... not so much everyone else. But if you trust him so, I'll have to take faith in your words.

Oh God, Italy. You're so... _so_... gah, I don't know. You remind me of America. I won't yell at you. That's what America himself is for, anyway.

Ahahaha. Er, actually, my boss and the Royal Family _don't_ know about this and I have to keep it that way. I'd rather not get that American git involved with this, either. I managed to age New England slightly, and I mailed another spell, so hopefully _that_ will do. My only other resource is my siblings, who have practised magic longer, but I will _not_ go _that_ low.

Er. Th-thanks...

England


	363. Sicily 1

To the United Kingdom of of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

Ciao~ I'm not sure if you know of me, but I'm Sicily. I know last time you say  
>me, you were mad at me. But I think that was only because I was under regola<br>della Francia (France's rule).

Anyway, I was wondering how you were doing. New York said you were upset about  
>something.<p>

Ok, è tardi, quindi meglio che vada (Ok, it's late so I better go).

Arrivederci,

Angelica Vargas (Italy Sicilia)

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

Er. Uh. How a-are you, Sicily? I'm not mad at you. But I am worried about your crime organisations, which seem to be more... um, active.

I'm n-not _upset_, either. Ahaha...

England


	364. Texas 6

That's good. Well, I didn't cause other countries to suddenly relapse into  
>different periods of times.<p>

You know if you bomb me, you're basically bombing my Dad.

Oh, I'm so sorry for ruining your oh so wonderful temper.

What, England I am reusing paper, it's the tissue I use to blow my nose.

Mike

* * *

><p>I'm tired.<p>

I've _been_ tired.

It's not exactly easy being a country, and now is a prime example.

So I will tell you this- stop writing to me, Texas. Just... stop. It's clear you dislike me, and I don't want to waste the little energy I've got left replying to gits like you.

Take your attitude somewhere else.

England


	365. Japan 11

Iggirisu-jin,

If this one's death will prove a help for the country, then this one would lay  
>it down immediately. Japan loves his home, Iggirisu-jin. This one will do<br>anything to help Japan.

You have said, this one is doing nothing to help Japan. This one is weak and  
>struggling from wounds. When this one dies, a new Japan would rise. One that<br>is wiser and stronger. A better and more capable representative for Japan. Why  
>should Japan be hindered by this one when another can do better? Iggirisu-jin,<br>if you love your home, you would understand.

Also, if this one goes, then there would be no more confusion between what you  
>say and what I currently think. The new Japan would be reborn with the real<br>information. It would be beneficial to both you and Japan. You cannot change  
>that fact.<p>

The Italia-jin is not allowed on Japan's waters. I have signaled him to stay  
>away. No outsiders are allowed on Japan's land. No contact can be made. To<br>break that is to die.

But will you not tell me of the Japan that you know? You have mentioned in  
>passing that I was not the one you knew. And it must be true because nations<br>do die and get reborn again. This one is not the same Japan. What you think of  
>him, what you expect? What you believe your relationship with him is or should<br>be? It is the only thing left that I wish to know.. But if you wish not to  
>disclose such private information, you have my full understanding.<p>

Iggirisu-jin, do not fret yourself. There are only benefits to reap from this.  
>You should be happy.<p>

Isolationist? Japan

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

You are not the one I know in the sense that your personality is that of a stranger. You are the same person, but you are acting as if you're some... some... I don't know, someone else. Someone else that is _not_ Japan.

This is really over used, but it's true – somewhere in your head, I know that you don't actually believe in all of this rubbish and the real Japan is there. My friend Japan. Not... whoever _you_ are.

D'you really think that by killing yourself, everyone Is better off? Can you not think of the consequences that would ensue? You would let your friends down. Your own nation. It is _not_ honourable to take your own life to 'save' others. You are not doing an acting of salvation but one of harm.

How would I know if you would return? Your country may suffer from you dying and Japan would cease to exist. I don't think we can die; I've always believed this. But when death is on _purpose_...? It's something to think about.

So... please, Japan. J-just _think_ about it. I already feel awful for relapsing and causing the demise of others. Don't go off with yourself.

England


	366. America 21

N...not really. I mean I guess since you know the meetings and stuff hehe. Oh  
>you're not mushy at all. I mean I thought I was the over the top mushy one<br>here. I don't even feel like myself. but I'm trying really hard to make up  
>for everything I did to hurt you which is really hard ok? I actually used the<br>Internet for help. So yeah...I'll let you go right here since I bet you're  
>busy right now.<p>

With love, Alfred

* * *

><p>America, it is your <em>nature<em> to be mushy. Ha. It's probably from those god-awful, neon-coloured, overly sweet pastries you devour. The sugar gets to your head. *cough* Andaffectsyourintelligence. *cough*

You...?

_Sigh_.

No words for that, ha.

Eh, b-busy isn't really the word when I'm not succeeding...

England


	367. Visayas 1

To Mr. United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I am extremely sorry for the way Manila has written to you.

That kid has been very rude lately. She's caused disgraceful events here. It  
>makes me wonder how Luzon currently disciplines her children.<p>

It is very shameful for her -Manila- to have written such a letter to you.  
>She's the capital for goodness sake! &amp; on top of it all, she's complaining of<br>an event that happened ages ago for only a span of 2 years! *sighs* Though I  
>understand her anger. I wouldn't have minded it if she did this at that time.<br>But it's different now. If events & feelings from the past should be brought  
>up &amp; that, it would justify if we'd attack one another today, then I'd have<br>already given Spain an uppercut & a kick in the face by the time he started  
>getting sick! But no. I'd like to avoid a World War 3 or something. So, once<br>again, I apologize for her rudeness.

Ah! I am Visayas by the way. I happened to check Philippines' mail today &  
>found your reply to Manila (i thought it was a business letter &amp; opened it as<br>I feel obliged to take care of the business' here). I apologize for reading  
>your private letter to her. *bows*<p>

Signed,

Liwana/Juana (Visayas)

* * *

><p>It doesn't matter. I'm not replying to those who are just wanting to offend me anymore. I appreciate your neutral tone, at least.<p>

England


	368. Russia 5

England ~da!

How I wish to see your face squished into the ground by my foot, you keep on  
>stopping me from taking my own territry you bastard~ *creepy smile* But my<br>time will come ~da, the time when I finally get to take you down and make you  
>become one with me...<p>

I would like a slice of this new territory too ~da? You already own more than  
>your fair share with that Frenchman selling the Louisiana perchace to you for<br>15 million.

Would be pleased if you became one with me,

Mother Russia.

* * *

><p>Russia, you bastard, I wish to make this clear (for the umpteenth time):<p>

I'm _not_ going to join you, I will _not_ cede any of my land to you, and I find you _despicable_.

_Don't_ contact me, filthy Russkie.

Got it?

England


	369. Madrid 20

Señor Inglaterra,

What war?

You're confusing me...

I know I'm Spain's capital! O pia, O dulcis, Virgo Maria.

Nothing! You have done nothing at all. I'm refering to events involving  
>myself, other nations, y un conquistador's ability to irk aforementioned other<br>nations.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

A-ah, ignore that. I can't recall if you ever found this out, but I was relapsing. Through history. I'm sure it was obvious, but just in case. Like I said, I can't remember if you knew.

Er... alright.

England


	370. Prussia 5

England,

For the third damn time, I need mein bruder's jacket! WASHED, please. Now  
>just stop complaining, cuz your giving me a headache. I havent even stepped<br>foot in your country. And dont plan to. If you dont, Ludwig will, because  
>he's getting pissy about it. You DON'T want to see that dude pissed.<p>

And also,

Fuck you.

-The Awesome Prussia

P.S.: Seriously, the coat. Send it. Or I'll just have to send a certain  
>SOMEONE the video of you and America after the bar that I got from Japan.<br>Keskeskes!

* * *

><p>Because of your <em>pleasant<em> attitude, I decided that a homeless man would be better suited with that jacket than your brother.

I have nothing against Germany, but next time, use this thing called _manners (_if you even have them, which I doubt you do_)_, Prussia, if you are going to be handling your brother's business.

_You_ can bugger off.

Your threat does not intimidate me.

England


	371. Ely 16

England,

Uh... umm... I... what do you remember happening? Because whatever it is, it's  
>all lies. Yes. Umm...<p>

I... was confused? Yes. Because apparently you were too. So I... I did not  
>take advantage of your confusion! Not at all!<p>

So how's life Mr. England, sir? ^_^' *loses smile and blushes*

I'm in big trouble, aren't I? You totally hate me now. T_T WAH!

Distressed!Ely

* * *

><p>Ely,<p>

I actually _don't_ remember anything what happened.

But I have a suspicion of what did, just by reading all those letters.

I'm certain that you were _not_ confused. You tried to use my confused state for your own advantage! As unforgivable as this is, it would not be proper, but instead childish and immature, for me to cease contact with you.

But if you do your part as a lady and apologise, it will satisfy me _somewhat_.

It is very fair for me to say that if I hadn't regained... _consciousness,_ or whatever you want to call my current, sane self, then things would have taken a turn for the worse. Imagine if I had continued behaving as if you were my queen. History relived, and not the peaceful parts of it.

England


	372. Guatemala 13

Inglaterra,

No, he's not under your control anymore... but I think he'll need therapy  
>after this... he's become a shut in. He won't leave his room.<p>

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

I know he isn't. I really _am_ dreadfully sorry for retaking Belize, but in my defense, I don't remember that nor did I have control over my actions. However,, I'm at least taking responsibility for what I did:

With this letter I have sent a very small glass vial. In it is a potion, which is completely harmless, and it _should_ alleviate his confusion and confinement. His behaviour should be normal after taking it. You can put it in a drink; it's tasteless and he won't tell the difference.

Now, I _know_ you don't trust me or my magic, but would you rather let him suffer than take the chance and give this to him? It will work, I'm sure.

England


	373. Tel 5

dear mr. england

yeah-yeah. keep telling your self that! america was bound to get his  
>independence. like comeon, he's a freak superpower! so happy he's on my side.<br>cause really, i hate to see him go all crazy and try to take canada over... oh  
>well the great white north is always fun to play in! pfft. tamed kittens are<br>like, our, us canadian's, like cover story, eh! we are not all tamed kittens,  
>how about dem world wars! we fought well, seriously! whatever, america is a<br>good friend in the long run... heehee!

oh i love the pirate era... :) it's fun to just sit back and picture it all.  
>the salty sea, the fresh air. the battle, the wars. but the illness and all<br>that would not do well. although the P.O.C totally butchered some of it, but i  
>still like them. heehee, jack sparrow, jack the monkey. but you have to share<br>some of your pirate stories! i used to play pirates when i was little, mind  
>you, i was captin and my brother was the evil pirate who 'walked the plank!"<p>

haahaa, so it was true then! 'and the sun never sets on the British Empire!'  
>wow! mr. england, you sure did get around.<p>

-blinks scribbles- i mean, by boat, not the perve- oh never mind!

-normal writting- yes i don't drink tea! it's not... um, good in my book. i  
>had it once, i was sick, that could be why. plus i have odd taste buds. ohh,<br>come off it. i-i-i mean! sorry mr. england, just a little angry. you really  
>need to stop stereotyping canadian's as tamed kittens.<p>

-huffs-

well /old/ chap! speak to you soon.

untamed canadian kitten

TEL

* * *

><p>Tel,<p>

But Canada and others are still part of the Commonwealth Realm. America could have been at least that. But independence is irrelevant. If I was the one supplying everything, and taking care of him, _why_ would-?

A-ah. I'm... I'm going to stop now before I get angry.

The World Wars are called so because every nation was involved in it in some way, even the neutral ones. We were all affected by it, no matter what our alignment (Entente or Central Powers).

The pirating era was _much_ more complex than that. It was also about honour to one's allegiance, about treasure, about conquering, about greed. Those atrocious movies indeed got a lot of details wrong. But they're _American_ movies; they're _all_ like that.

I certainly did. How many times must I say that I once spanned a _considerable_ amount of the planet?

...I'm not _France_; I don't see everything as double entendres.

You really must try it _again_, then.

England


	374. Valencia 25

England,

He is my BROTHER. I don't mind if you think he's a git, but I DON'T want to  
>know!<p>

Forgive him! He's very stressed! You know, he took care of me while I was  
>depressed...<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Alright, alright, Valencia. You don't need to get <em>huffy<em>.

Perhaps he just shows a different side of himself to you. After all, you _are_ siblings. There's more of a bond between you two than, say, me and him. Especially since Spain and I, on most days, don't get along. It influences your siblings.

England


	375. Washington DC 14

Iggy,

I'm sorry! I wanted to write, I really did! But I just couldn't...

Logical? I still think you should get it checked out. That's not healthy. I  
>know THAT, cause it happened last time you visited. Though it usually only<br>happens when you're utterly shit-faced.

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. But you still love me~ And you spell "Pedo" funny. Like it should be  
>pronounced 'paid' instead of 'ped' pfft.<p>

-Ohio

* * *

><p>Wait, this has happened <em>before?<em>

And you never told me?

Hmph. How _considerate_.

I can't exactly _waltz_ up to a doctor, either. I avoid them. Our bodies are different than those of humans, and it would make them suspicious, which could in turn lead them to find out we're nations. I try to keep a low profile, and getting medical checks will ruin that. I'm _fine_ now, anyway.

To Ohio, English is my language, so it's _you_ that spells it's weird. After you broke away from me, that dictionary git decided that to separate yourselves further, changing the language would be good. The correct way to spell it is paedophilia. Other examples of you dropping the 'a' when there is an 'ae' include leukaemia and encyclopaedia. Or how you drop the 'u' in words like colour, honour, behaviour; even changing 're' to 'er' in theatre, centre. Even how you drop double consonants in words like travelling. Don't forget you changing the letter 's' in words like apologise to a 'z'. There's _many_ other examples, but these are the few I can think off the top of my head.

To summarise, American English was simply made to alienate yourselves from the British Empire further.

Consider _that_, next time you write it out.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That really is why there is an American English. It was the Webster dictionary guy who said shortly after America's independence 'Hey, we're free and all, which is pretty bitchin', but we're still writing the way those stupid limeys do... say, how's about we make our OWN version of English, so it's like we're not related to them anymore? Yeeeaaah!' **

**Those little bits are the few that caught on. His original ideas, which included changing spelling _completely _to make it phonetic (e.g. 'women' to 'wimmen'), were too scandalous for the Americans back then.**


	376. Hungary 31

E-England,

Oh Isten...I'm so sorry!

I...really, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that crap. Honest! It's just all  
>the crap going on in the world right now, all my friends, the phasing- I must<br>have snapped.

I'll compensate you for any damage I caused.

Budapest is sort of like cousin, of some sort. The relation is unclear but  
>since she is my capital she had taken on my last name. Same with my other<br>cities and such.

Ugh, Austria won't stop reprimanding me. How boring...

Again; Very Sorry,

Elizaveta

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

I believe you. I was in your place, so I know how you feel, ha. We had no control over our behaviour. It was a strange outside force controlling you, not... _you_.

I do think _that_ is the reason that caused it, since when I started phasing myself, others started being affected. It is not your job to apologise, rather mine. _I_ caused you to turn Communist.

You do not owe me anything. Don't fret over it.

Ah, I see. It's better than having children, at least... ahaha.

Listen to what he has to say, at the very least. He's a good person. You know he means well.

England


	377. Featherstone 1

Dearest Papa,

I am sorry to interrupt you while you are working with your relations with  
>Hungary, America- and the ghost. But I miss you Papa and want you to return-<br>the Hungarians are invading as you know and well um. I shouldn't put anymore  
>weight on your shoulders. You already have to much to do. I don't want to hurt<br>miss Hungary, but what happens if she attacks me?

Again I must apologize for interrupting,

your daughter Featherstone.

* * *

><p>Featherstone,<p>

I _do_ hope I received this letter late. The invading Hungarians should be all gone. I'm back in London, and it's normal here. I don't feel any sort of tremor or pain either, so I assume the rest of the country is well.

England


	378. Moscow 11

Dear Mister Angliya,

I am old enough, but only just. I have not met the Germany that you now know.  
>I do, however, know the Germany of World War Two - the one twisted by lies,<br>racism, and yet more lies, da?

My doors were locked, and enough so to keep my Belarusian family at bay. How  
>Saint Petersburg managed to get in is beyond me.<p>

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

I'm older than you; I have certainly seen the different faces of all the nations. Especially in the older days. You did not know who to ally yourself with, because your friend could have very well been your enemy before you could blink.

Germany during the second world war was a Germany that I had seen during the first world war, but not nearly as power-hungry or with that malicious glint in his eye. But now he is once again the person I know. I'm unsure if Russia still holds grudges (probably, e.g. America and me), but if he dislikes Germany still, you should not let that influence your opinion on him.

Quite a... _predicament_ there.

England


	379. Bermuda 3

Iggy,

omigosh what did you do to ? D8 if he actually does the suicide thing  
>there's a possiblity that your gonna get blamed. i might visit him later then,<br>since you convinced him to do that. ill go ask cuba for the new hat also.

from,

Bermuda~

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

N-nothing! But when I was relapsing, it slightly changed the behaviour of others. Japan included.

I know _perfectly_ well that it's my fault! Or what, did you think that I have been gallivanting, acting like some irresponsible git? _Hell_ no. I'm _trying_ to get everything as it was!

Going to visit him might just provoke him _more_.

England


	380. Florida 1

OMFG DE BIG FATTEH COUNTREH HAS LETTRZ? *hic* IMMA WRITIN TO DEH IG*hic*GY OH  
>MAH GAWD AND SHTUFFS!<p>

ITSH LIKE ME LIKE IMMA FL'RIDA *hic* AND STUFFZ

BLARGMARGHARG YOU BIG WIM*hic*P!

IMMA SO UNDENIABLE AND STUUUUUUFFS! *hic*

-hard lemonade stains everywhere-

LURVES,

FLORIDA/BRITTANY AMY JONES

* * *

><p>...<em>dear God<em>.

America needs to be more responsible with you lot.

I'll ignore your insults toward me simply _because_ you are intoxicated.

Next time, do watch what you do so you _don't_ embarrass yourself like this.

England


	381. Spain 16

Inglaterra,

All right then. I'll see if Austria can keep a better eye on her, ¿de  
>acuerdo? We wouldn't want something like this to arise again.<p>

I'm sorry if my cities are...insulting you. They actually didn't get that from  
>me. I refrain from mentioning our touchy relationship to mi familia-especially<br>since my sister is good friends with you.

Si, she's gone-gracias for that...all I have as a result is a bandaged  
>shoulder-but that's nothing. We've both been through worse, ¿no?<p>

It's fine-really. Don't apologize for actions that were not your own, ¿de  
>acuerdo?<p>

...ehhh...Scotland's like the Netherlands...except 100x's worse. All right-I  
>haven't talked to Belize for about a week so he's probably still with<br>Guatemala. Yeah, that distance might be a good thing, if you so value your  
>life, ¿no?<p>

No, I'm not. Other than the fact that my sister invoked the fear of God in me  
>for our spats, I'm in a fairly good mood and I feel really bad for all that's<br>happened-you deserve the reprieve.

Of course I can be civil! Don't insult me by saying otherwise-or we can  
>disregard this whole letter, ¿no?<p>

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

Austria is already watching her. But at least I am assured you know what is best for Hungary.

You have no need to apologise. No matter how civil we are to each other, I don't truly believe that we will be or are 'friends'. Allies, perhaps, is a better word, but for now save the apologetic words. Our past history was one of rivalry, so I can see why they would dislike me.

Ha, certainly so. Today's weapons may inflict more damage, but the medicine of the modern age is much better than what we had a long time ago, considering we were rivals then.

Ah, I believe we're both being hypocrites in this case.

The Netherlands isn't that bad. But I know you two still don't get along.

Hmm.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm going to stop writing letters once I get to 500 of them. Not very many, ha, but I'll admit writing this is a slightly difficult task and I've been getting distracted by other animes, so I won't be as productive.**


	382. Ireland 1

Top of the morning to you Big Brother,

It's your favourite (and only) little sister Ireland here! The only other  
>NORMAL Kirkland! Yeah… hello. How are you? Thanks for sending the Queen<br>over, it was nice to meet her- and she you again. I haven't seen you in ages,  
>it seems! Well, I guess I just wanted to say hi to my best big brother ever!<br>Why do I have to live next door to North? He's so annoying! Anyway…

Love you!

Lucky shamrocks,

From Iona Kirkland/The Republic of Ireland

* * *

><p>Wh-what?<p>

You're writing to me, Ireland? Considering how I've treated you in the past?

Ah, y-yeah, I suppose Her Majesty visiting you lessened the tense relations that are still present between our nations.

Don't mention North! I won't lie, I'm wary of you and how violent you can be. I know you two don't like each other. To prevent any hostile remarks or threats, don't mention any of my other brothers, alright?

England


	383. New York 18

England,

Sorry, no magic here. But I know Mass can do so. I'll talk to him for you.  
>Perhaps he can do something about New England. YOu should as my Dad to talk to<br>Japan for you. I know the two of them are good friends.

Elena "New York" Jones.

P.S: New Jersey gave me some pears to send to you. I included them with the  
>letter. They're really good (he sent me some too).<p>

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

I thought so. See if Massachusetts can do something, since he is part of New England after all; he should not have much trouble finding him. I'm hoping New England is at least a _bit_ older now. I've been sending him potions, and they _should_ age him.

Japan isn't listening to anyone, dear.

I'm... not very hungry at the moment, but when I do I'll eat them. Thank him for me.

England


	384. British Columbia 19

Uncle Iggy,

I suppose you're right. I apologize for being so sensitive in my last letter.  
>Mama Haida is digging around in her history and mythology for anything that<br>can help you, and that's making me... I'm not sure. I just feel vulnerable.  
>There are some things from my history I don't like to think about, y'know?<p>

Please, if you've no time to enjoy tea, at LEAST crush some feverfew into a  
>glass of water. It does help headaches instantly and it rejuvenates. I promise<br>it will help, if you'll just take it.

I'm worried about you, Uncle Iggy... Your letters have an edge to them that  
>makes me think you're fearful of something... I look up to you more than<br>anyone, and to see you afraid and exhausted like this... It scares me a bit.  
>Please do your best to be strong, and know that I'll be here if you need<br>anything at all...

Lots of love,

Lyra.

* * *

><p>British Columbia,<p>

It's... fine. I'm s-sure I can resolve this without her help; you can tell her it's not needed. Sigh. You're not the only one, British Columbia. I really don't feel like myself. Weary. Tired. I can't even properly insult those gits that somehow keep writing to me. Truth is, I won't be completely at rest until everything is fine again.

Fine, if you insist. Later, I shall do so.

_Sigh_. I-it's just th-

...n-no, never mind.

England


	385. New England 12

England Jerk,

What did you do to me?

Don't you think I know not to get near a c-creepy 6 foot monster?  
>He's..terrifying-No, he has purple eyes. I-I'm getting out of here..<p>

You just never want to be around me, Do you? A-Always putting America first.  
>You always have. Maybe that's why you left me here on the beach just waiting.<br>Should have known better...-

Great, now it's raining. You're a dick.

The newest thing I remember is Reconstruction in the South. Which I'm quickly  
>getting sick of. Why do we have to keep focusing on them when I have things I<br>need fixed too?

Ugh, the power struggle between Johnston and Congress is getting me jumpy too.  
>I don't like it. Surely you can relate.<p>

Really? How stupid of me not to know that already..like I wouldn't remember  
>things like that.<p>

I don't feel well...

PostCivilWar!NewEngland

* * *

><p>I'll ignore your <em>pleasant<em> tone simply because my potion worked.

_I_ am the one ageing you, so if I were you, I would belt up and appreciate my efforts. Git.

Reconstruction? That's the term you Americans use for after the Civil War, I believe... so you're currently at the mindset you were at during... 1865, yes, that's it. So a bit less than two centuries more, and I should be able to do it. But that will require more magic and skill... ugh, n-no, I can do it. I won't resort to asking _Scotland_ for help-

Well, at least you're starting to _dislike_ me again, so that's... good, I guess. Your mentality is slowly returning. _Sigh_. I see you _still_ think that I idolised America as the perfect colony. I had many more than one, you know, and he was the one closest to me. But I _didn't_ give him special treatment; your view is skewed by jealousy. But I s'pose _that_ opinion of yours won't change, no matter how much I try to convince you otherwise...

But anyway. I'll have to go to work now, but keep... doing.. whatever you were doing. I need to make a _stronger_ potion. God help me.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think Iggy's secretly relieved, because he was being snarky x3 He just doesn't show his feelings very well.**


	386. Croatia 1

*cries* Mr. England!

You know Hungary, right? I'm her little brother, Croatia...

*sobs* I'm g-getting married to Russia in a week and after you swap my gender  
>with your magic skills, making me into a female.<p>

Do you remember a little 14 year old boy who you had to change to a girl  
>during the days of Yugoslavia? That was me. Even if you don't remember, you<br>DID change me into a girl.

Help! HUNGARY IS FORCING ME INTO A POLITICAL UNION/MARRIAGE/"BECOMING ONE WITH  
>RUSSIA!"<p>

What do I do? How do I cope with this sadness and shock?

Yours truly,

Nikola (soon to be Klara Braginskaya) Igrec/Croatia

* * *

><p>WHAT?<p>

H-how should _I_ know ? !_ Dear Lord..._

Um, c-can't you refuse to be wed to Russia? You are your _own_ nation; don't let yourself be annexed by that bastard!

I'll _try_ t-to help you with my magic, but I'm using it for s-someone _else_... I-I can't do so much sorcery at once! C-can you wait a few... er, days?

A-and Hungary wouldn't force you! _Surely_, you are mistaken! Ahahaha. y-yes, that must be it... a big misunderstanding!

No matter what, don't let yourself be taken by Russia!

England


	387. Scotland 3

Li'l England,

Perhaps you've forgotten that you're my baby brother? I'll treat ye like a man  
>when ye act like one. And sure. I swear plenty... Hm... Maybe tha's where you<br>got it? Oh well. Blame it on the whiskey~

Methinks ye just block out the good memories with your resentment of us. Wales  
>'n I picked on ye plenty, but North was never mean to ye. Hell, he was a<br>scaredy cat. Didn't like gettin' near any of us. Also, you're forgettin' that  
>time ye pissed off those wolves an' I saved ye from the pack of 'em. You'd<br>twisted yer ankle runnin' away, and I didn' want to see me baby brother become  
>pup chow. And whenever you were hungry, which was often when you were a wee<br>runt, I always kept ye fed, didn' I? Hell, I even taught ye how to hunt so you  
>could find yer own food when I wasn't around.<p>

And wasn't it me that showed you your first unicorn and taught ye the language  
>of the faeries?<p>

So don't be forgettin' that even if I am a drunkard ass with no sense o'  
>manners or subtlety, (which I know I am, thank ye,) yer still family an' I'll<br>still take care of ye when ye need me to.

Wales an' I were actually wonderin' if ye'd turn up a pint with us at some  
>point when all yer troubles are over. Yer welcome to say no, but I gotta say,<br>North's kickin' in and that boy's got the best booze in the world. 'Sides. I  
>wouldn't mind sharin' a drink with me baby brother, now that he's grown up<br>enough to drink.

Guid cheerio the nou.

Brotherly!Scotland

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

F-fine.

I'll accept your offer to help me.

I need to age New England a bit less than two centuries. And to turn Croatia into a boy again. I still haven't heard from Japan, but I'm hoping my words had a positive effect on him.

But d-don't get mushy on me again. Git...

England


	388. Veneziano 5

M-Mr. E-E-England,

I-I'm really sorry to b-bother you about this, but-

I-I-I've been a-a-a-arrested! As s-soon as I passed through s-security, t-the  
>p-p-p-polizia c-came and s-said I wasn't welcome i-in J-J-Japan a-a-anymore! I<br>t-tried calling m-m-my b-brother, but h-he didn't answer his p-p-phone.  
>I-I-I-I'm really s-s-sorry I c-can't help m-more!<p>

I-I-If you just g-get a-ahold of m-mio fratello or B-big Brother S-S-Spain,  
>t-t-they'll get m-me. D-don't worry a-about me, M-Mr. England, I-I-I'll be-<p>

[The rest of the letter is stained with blood and tears]

* * *

><p>Shite. <em>How<em> could I have been so foolish as to l-?

_Bollocks_.

Anyway. A-are you _sure_ Spain or South Italy can come get you? I-if not, I'll fly to Japan and bail you out... though I still don't think I would be welcome.

England


	389. America 22

Arthur

Oh you mean my cakes? I don't think so. In fact I haven't had one in days!  
>Thanks for reminding me that. And I'm inexperienced with relationships so<br>yeah...I thought the Internet was the best choice since I no longer trust  
>France, or Tony for that matter. Wait a second, what do you mean by not<br>succeeding? Is there something wrong?

~ Alfred

* * *

><p>'Cakes' isn't a good noun to describe those <em>globs<em>. They're more like horrid, half-baked, lumps of concentrated sugar. I'm surprised your teeth are not rotten.

You. Went. To. France. For. Advice.

. . .

No comment.

Same for 'Tony'. He's not bloody real... it's illogical.

No... nothing's wrong. It's fine; I'm fine; all is fine. R-really.

England


	390. Puerto Rico 1

Hola England!

Big Brother Spain told me that you were writing letters and suggested that I  
>write to you! I'm Puerto Rico, America's common wealth...it's not fun at all!<br>He always forgets me even though he basically owns me...*annoyed sigh*...any  
>who I just wanted to say hello and ask you how've you been! I don't get to see<br>much of the world.

Um, I also wanted to ask for some advice...I can't ask America because  
>well...he's brain dead...and I don't want to tell Big Brother because he might<br>flip. It's simply a boy issue

Random New Mexico Insert: She has a crush on a Nordic nation! XD

¡CÁLLATE, IDIOTA! (Puerto Rican rage) Any who, I just wanted to  
>make sure that you were ok with that since I don't know you too well.<p>

Adios!

~Iris Morales Cabrera (Puerto Rico)

* * *

><p>Puerto Rico,<p>

You're one of the few lands America possess, yes. Hmm... ha... aha... hahaha! I still have more territories than h-

Er. Uh. Sorry for that. I can get... taken away. Anyway.

What advice is it that you want from me? I must say, I am a better source than America. No matter what others say, he's still a git.

Er, unless the bit about New Mexico's infatuation was it?

It's fine that you're writing to me. After all, this _is_ to strengthen political ties. Even if you're one of America's unincorporated organised territories.

England


	391. Guatemala 14

Inglaterra,

I can tell you are. And gracias for taking responsibility.

Normally I don't trust you. But at this point I'm willing to try anything. All  
>of Central America has been out of whack because we don't have our cheery<br>happy little Belize around. It's really creepy.

I'll try the vial on him.

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

Hmm, you're welcome.

Good. I expect to hear from him soon, cured by then I hope. I need to know if it worked or not.

England


	392. palmtoptiger 2

Way to be! I honestly don't care, and apologize for bringing that up. I will  
>rule the world, and it's possible. Don't tell me it's not! With determination<br>and power anything is possible.

I'm a yank, please except that factor.

Sincerely,

Palmtoptiger

P.s. Do you have a crush on anyone in the Hetalia universe?

* * *

><p>You're barmy and need to be sent to the funny farms.<p>

...that is _all_ I am going to say.

England


	393. Mary Read 5

Dearest Arthur,

What the bloody hell was that? "You were a great pirate Mary. It was an honor  
>to serve alongside you" Honestly Arty- you may not longer be a privateer or<br>pirate but do you really have to play the getle man act with the shipmate who  
>worked for alongside you. I ask you treat me as you would treat that America<br>boy, or any of your other colleuges. Not as a damsel in distress.

But on other matters- I am returning to my home port (London) to help out some  
>of the reconstruction of the place since the attack of the wench. Maybe leave<br>you a bottle of bumboo or grog to signify that I am real and not another one  
>of your imaginary friends.<p>

Do you need any help with New England or Japan? I understand that they have  
>been on your nerves.<p>

And you still think I'm a ghost! I might be dead to you but so far I'm not  
>flying or scaring anyone other than you... and some tourists. If your<br>returning to London or anywhere in England please say and I'll try and talk to  
>you in person.<p>

Hope all is well,

Mary Read

* * *

><p>What, I can't speak the truth? I'm not downgrading you, I'm telling you my opinion. I have <em>told<em> you, I am a _gentleman_ now. You're still a lady in my eyes, love.

I know you're real. I now _definitely_ believe in the haunting of ghosts and spirits. Perhaps I'll see you, as I _am_ in London. I'll try to go to the Port, but I am busy, so don't get too hopeful. I _do_ hope I can see you one last time...

No, they haven't been getting on my nerves, b-but I don't need help, really. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but if they found out you're not supposed to be alive, it would frighten them. Can't afford that.

W-well, you're... dead. A ghost, a spirit. But in a physically... solid form? I... guess.

England


	394. Sicily 2

To the United Kingdom of of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I'm fine. Thank you for asking. *sigh* I try with the crime. But I have only a  
>limited bit of power. My idiot fratello (brother) holds most of the power. Do<br>I at least get points for trying?

I'm glad you're not upset, but something seems to be worrying you. Is  
>everything ok?<p>

Oh, I best be going. I promised Canada I would visit him, and my flight leaves  
>soon. I feel bad for him, having America as a brother. I fear for his safety.<p>

Arrivederci,

Angelica Vargas (Italy Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Sicily,<p>

It's only _proper_ to do so.

The crime isn't really something you can manipulate or get rid of. Their organisation spans outside of Italy, and they're quite big. Taking them out wouldn't be an easy task, especially considering your brother has some ties with them. Should the Italian government persecute the Mafia more, I'm sure your brother would cower.

I'd_.._. rather not discuss that.

Who?

England


	395. Hungary 32

England,

T-The way you put that...sounded so creepy. Outside force...yuck.

Really now? I wasn't aware...haha. Kidding.

Yes but fact is I may have caused damage. I also wish to get things behind us  
>so please at least accept something from me. Even if it's just something for<br>you personally and not for your country. It'd make me feel less..guilty, I  
>guess.<p>

Yeah, kids are a pain. I'm surprised Feliciano managed to get practically  
>raised by me and not have been strangled at least once.<p>

But his monotonous talking is boring me...meehh. Ludwig won't let me leave  
>either. Why is he even here?<p>

Hungary

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

But it's the truth, as terrifying as it may sound. Perhaps the monster that consumes us during times of war never really leaves, and that's what caused our behaviour.

But you should not feel remorse; that was not you acting. If it will _actually_ make you feel less guilty, then I can accept a small token, but I'm telling you that while the gesture is kind, I don't want you to spend anything on me.

You _did_ raise with him with Austria. He was the main caretaker, really.

Because you have people who care about you, Elizaveta, that's why Germany is there.

Hungary


	396. Visayas 2

To Mr. United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

Indeed. Nothing good comes from replying them. They would just ruin your day.

Ah. Well, I have nothing against you & if I do I would tell you about it  
>straight forwardly instead of starting an insult.<p>

I suppose that is all. Good day to you then & God bless you on your writing  
>letters. *bows*<p>

Signed,

Liwana/Juana (Visayas)

* * *

><p>Visayas,<p>

Which is why I plan on ignoring them, should they write to me.

Er, alright.

England


	397. Japan 12

I-Igirisu-jin.. This one did not think you would really reply. This one thank  
>you for your letter and answer. Your words, however, leave much to the<br>imagination for understanding. This one thanks you for trying.

Iggirisu-jin, the problem here is that this one does believe this 'rubbish'.  
>This one am only going do dispel any illusions of Japan's mind by doing this.<p>

No, Iggirisu-san. This one does not think and hope that this one's death would  
>help the country. This one knows/ that this one's death would. Your words  
>would make sense should this one be human, but this one is not. This one is the<br>representative of Japan.

I will say this to alliviate any worry. It has been done before. The only  
>consequence is a slight headache and temporary confusion. The only thing that<br>would change within the nation is that some flowers would not bloom. Japan is  
>still here, dispite that, still standing. Pain is not an issue. It has been<br>proven, there would only be benefits for the both of us.

You feel, sad at this one's departure? This one thanks you from the bottom of  
>this one's heart. Shiawase desu. Arigato. Ja matta, Iggirisu-jin. Iie,<br>Iggirisu-san ka? Kirkland-san ka?Asa-san ka? This one will know soon.

Japan

Honda Kiku *blood splatters*

*on a different paper, hours after the first has been sent. The writing is  
>shaky and it looks like the sender had a tough time writing!*<p>

A-asa san..? Ah, I understand now. Thank you for your worry, I am fine. I am  
>still to weak to do much now, but I hope I have eased all your worries on this<br>incident...

Thank you

Japan

Honda Kiku *pen marks slides away*

* * *

><p>...wh-what? I-I'm confused.<p>

A-are you fine now, at least, Japan? Did you... er, you know, and come back to life o-or something...?

England


	398. Washington DC 15

Well, It was the first time it happened that I knew of, so I didn't say  
>anything. By the way; I just watched Labyrinth with dad, so fucking epic.<br>Bowie's a pedo, though.

Anyways, I meant like a therapist. If you really wanted to you could ask  
>me-I'm studying in that field anyways. Maybe I could help?<p>

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. Well it's spelled weird to /me/. how about that? I still spell like you  
>SOMETIMES, though. colour, theatre, apologise. (which all, by the way, are<br>marked as incorrect by spell check. Ironic, non?)

- Ohio

* * *

><p>Aleckis,<p>

At least your film choice wasn't _that_ bad. Eh, it's a movie that is left up to the imagination. It's a rather old film as well; that wasn't much of an issue on people's minds. No mentions of America crying or losing control of his heroic composure? Truly a feat in his part.

A _therapist? _That's an abominable idea! I don't bloody need one, anyway; I'm perfectly _sane_.

To Ohio, that is because you grew up with American English. And it is not ironic, because your spellcheck is designed for _American_ English, again.

England


	399. Florida 2

Eh mah gawd... mah head...

Like, eh em gee, Iggy, did I like, write to you, like after I, like, went to  
>that party with, like, Cali? Ehmahgawd, I'm so, like, sorry if I said, like,<br>so not cool stuff to you.

Like, Iggy, Dad is, like, totally glaring at me, like, I'd better stop.

Luv and Stuff,

Hungover!Florida

Aaah...mah head...

* * *

><p>Florida,<p>

I assume. Your letter reeked of alcohol and there were mysterious stains on it as well.

Have responsibility of yourself. It's truly disgraceful for a lady to drink, even more so if she is as young as you.

England


	400. Philippines 3

Kuya Inglattera,

THIS IS REALLY GREAT...my arrogant brother sure doesn't know when to keep his  
>mouth shut! T-T<p>

I mean...I feel sorry and angry for him at the same time...phew...

* almost crying, with teary eyes *

Kuya...I just want to apologize for what my sibling, Manila did to you last  
>time! It was too late when I discovered that he had sent you a<br>letter...talking about his damn frustrations about what you did to  
>him...and...for Heaven's sake, even though it was too difficult for me to do<br>it, but I said lots of swearwords to him STRAIGHT IN ONE BLOODY SENTENCE! I  
>spanked him last night, and YES, I do admit...HE DESERVED IT!<p>

P.S. Your scones taste great, by the way...I wonder why most nations hate your  
>cooking. Probably, they don't have a special "sense of taste", huh?<p>

(God...I swear that I will not allow my brother to do that to you again...and  
>I am deeply sorry for what happened. I already left my past under the dark<br>pit...so, don't worry, Kuya. No hard feelings, right?)

Keeping in touch,

Philippines

* * *

><p>Philippines,<p>

_Sigh_. It wasn't you who wrote to vent; I'm not angry at _you_. It is _Manila_ that provoked me. Don't apologise for actions that are not yours; if anything, Manila is the one who should write and do so, but I find that highly unlikely.

That is _exactly_ why most nations dislike my cooking.

Don't worry about it, Philippines. As long as your brother keeps his vulgarity to himself.

England


	401. Moscow 12

Dear Mister Angliya,

That is what the Kremlin tells me.

That is why I say I know a different Germany. I will not let Father influence  
>me. Father holds grudges for far too long, anyways. One should let go of their<br>anger if they have a long life to look forward to. It will only cause trouble  
>if they don't.<p>

Indeed. My estranged siblings are going to be the death of me one day, if Aunt  
>Belarus doesn't kill me first.<p>

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

He would certainly be wise in that particular area.

Eh, it's Russia. What can you do?

_What?_ Don't say such things. They won't kill you. They cannot.

England


	402. Madrid 21

Señor Inglaterra,

I'd not been told. I'm a bit oblivious sometimes, sorry.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Hmm, it's fine. At least now you know.

It was the cause of my abnormal behaviour.

England


	403. Bermuda 4

Iggy,

no i didnt say that you were a irresponsible if i did. so what's the  
>plan to help everyone? i wanna try to help.<p>

how can it? i was gonna go over there anyway for some cosplay stuff.(dont ask)  
>i think i saw feli but im not too sure. anyway, i tried to give him a bone for<br>his dog but he pulled out his sword thing. now i dont know my exact place.  
>either here,japan,or back in bermuda. everything looks the same here..<p>

~bermuda

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

You can't really help. The only things left now involve using magic, which I do not think you practise.

I told you _not_ to go, git! He could have killed you! Japan was not acting like his normal self but instead like some crazed samurai. He would not have hesitated to slice you. Even _Italy_, who's as harmless as a bloody _butterfly_, got arrested, and I fear the worst. Think before acting next time!

I cannot tell you where you are either, but if you see volcanoes, that is Japan. If not, you're probably in Bermuda. Learn geography. But surely you could identify your _own_ country.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'll be absent the next two or so days.**


	404. Ireland 2

Big brother,

Hey! It's the past- who cares! Besides… I wasn't the best little sister in  
>the world… BUT I WANT TO MAKE UP FOR IT! ^_^<p>

The Queen was very nice. But… I didn't think it was that tense… Don't you  
>like me any more? You used to be the only one who did before I moved out! :'(<br>You hate me…

Please DON'T bring that up. I'm embarrassed enough as it is, thank you very  
>much! And, I haven't kept in contact with the IRA, I'll have you know! Just<br>because North annoys me doesn't mean I'll kill him or anyone else for that  
>matter!<p>

From your (rejected) little  
>sister-who-wants-to-make-up-because-she-still-loves-you,<p>

Iona Kirkland

aka

Ireland

* * *

><p>Ireland,<p>

Er, a-alright...?

O-of course I like you! But you _can't_ deny that the people of our nations are not _that_ amiable with each other. Then again, there will always be Irish who resent me. But I _don't_ hate _you_. Get that lie out of your head.

I know you wouldn't kill him – at least not consciously. Keep in mind political events influence our actions, even if we personally would never do any of that. Let's simply avoid speaking of my brothers, is what I'm saying, because there are still hostilities between _all_ of us.

Moving on to better, lighter matters. I trust you have been alright? I don't speak to you much anymore.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I return~**


	405. Belize 22

Hola...Papi...

I don't like being shut in my room... I think I got paler...

So I decided to go out~ What was I upset about again? I can't remember. and  
>Guatemala won't tell me...<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

Ah, it's great to know you left your room! You were starting to worry us.

Um, you weren't upset about anything at all, lad! Ahahaha! I-it doesn't matter anyway...

Are you feeling fine again? Or are you only pallid? I need to know symptoms, if any.

England


	406. KJ 1

England! I've already lived all over the US, not to mention, I've lived in  
>America since the Revolutionary War, and I'm sick of living here, it's my<br>dream to move to England when grow up~

WHAT DOST THOU THINK?

C:

-KJ Angeryface

* * *

><p>KJ,<p>

Before I state my opinion, I would like to say that I love my country, the Royal Family, my people – everything. I am loyal to the United Kingdom, but of course that I prefer my _own_ nation above all else.

But... there is a_ certain _downsides to living in here.

I reside in London, of course, and the weather here for the majority of the year is... _depressing_. It rains _quite_ a bit. Fog and on bad days smog blanket the city, and it can be difficult to see. Don't get me wrong, it's fairly nice here, never too cold, never too hot, but the humidity is so _smothering_ sometimes.

Rain can be wonderful, but when you ave it often, it makes you want to tear your hair out.

When summer arrives, and by that I don't mean the date of 21 June but the time of year when we actually have _some_ sun and you can relax outside pleasantly, it doesn't last very long.

Of course, I may be exaggerating somewhat. But having lived this long and seen so many rainy days does _wonders_ for one's optimistic views.

I don't spend as much time in other cities as I do in London, so I can't detail their climates very well, but they are probably alike.

Aside from the weather, I have no complaints. If you move here, you wouldn't regret it... unless you loathe rain.

England


	407. Croatia 2

*cries even more* Mr. England:

First of all, YOU DID CHANGE ME INTO A FREAKING GIRL. YOU CAN'T DENY IT.

Secondly, Mr. England, I don't care when the hell you change me to a girl, but  
>Russia WILL CARE. HE WILL FUCKING KILL BOTH YOU AND ME! Probably me first...<p>

Thirdly: IT'S RUSSIA, GODDAMMIT! I CAN'T REFUSE RUSSIA ANYTHING! Besides, he  
>already took my virginity last time I was his wife... I bore him 3 of his<br>towns and 2 of mine...

Fourth: You don't know Hungary, no offense. She's my sister, Mr. England! And  
>I know her better than she knows herself!<p>

I HAVE TO BE TAKEN BY RUSSIA OR ELSE HE'LL KILL ME!

Yours truly,

Nikola "Klara" Igrec/Croatia

* * *

><p>Croatia,<p>

Well thanks a _lot_, now I need eye and mind bleach! What the _bloody_ hell is wrong with your family? ! Good _grief_...

Wait, what? Am I understanding this correctly?

You _want_ me to change you into a girl, possibly risking my _life_ in doing so?

I _certainly_ hope I am misunderstanding...

England


	408. Prussia 6

JACKASS,

Really? Your that low? Really? Fuck you. How uncool...~

And I don't see why you had to start a retarded fight in the first place. And  
>I don't need manners.<p>

...'Bugger off?' What kind of threat is that, old chap? Don't make me laugh,  
>cuz' thats soo stupid!<p>

But I know who DOES intimidate you, jagoff.

-The Amazingly Awesome Prussia

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

You consider it _despicable_ _behaviour_ for a homeless man, with no money for his own clothes, to receive a jacket you carelessly left, when you have money to burn, as evidenced by your frequent bar trips?

Hmph. You really _are_ an arsehole. If it weren't for you fighting against France during the War of Spanish Succession, I would have never allied myself with you.

Aw, do I need to aim my insults toward your very low comprehension level? Alright, _just_ for _you_, Prussia!

You can get lost, to put it mildly.

To put it offensively, you can go fuck yourself, because no one else will do that for you.

England


	409. Guatemala 15

Inglaterra,

He's cured, kind of... He actually forgot about the whole thing... But I think  
>he's starting to get weird relapses. an hour ago he almost attacked Germany<br>like he did in World War II...

He's normal right now...

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

Oh, _God_. Really? Er, in that case, I would advice for you to _not_ tell him anything that could be interpreted as something else that might remind him of another time period of his. Auditory and verbal stimulation, really. Be vary careful as to what others do around him, as well.

England


	410. New York 19

England,

I actually was talking to him on the phone (mass I mean). He said he'll see  
>what he can do. *sigh* I have a feeling I should go check up on him to make<br>sure he doesn't mess something up.

Hey, don't blame me for trying.

I will.

Come visit soon, ya hear?

Much love,

Elena "New York" Jones

* * *

><p>New York,<p>

That's good to hear. Cooperation amongst you seems to be rare. But there _are_ 50 of you; I can't imagine you all getting along, ha. Checking on him would be wise. He can be very smug and full of himself; and we both know he inherited this from your _father_. And it is not a trait that always leads you the right way.

But I _don't_ blame you. I was simply telling you the truth then, that Japan was being stubborn. He seems to be better now.

It will be inevitable; one of the the United Nations buildings is in New York City, and a meeting _should_ be happening sometime soon. I should see you then.

England


	411. Puerto Rico 2

Hola again England!

New Mexico was just teasing me. She does that...I'm the one who has a crush on  
>a Nordic nation. If Spain found out, he would go all conquistador on him! And I<br>don't want that to happen! And America...would probably laugh...jerk...

I-I really like him, but he's a nation and older than me and obviously doesn't  
>notice me...*sad sigh*...I just would like some advice as to how I can get him<br>to notice me...

Adios

~Iris Morales Cabrera

* * *

><p>Puerto Rico,<p>

Since you failed to mention which of the Nordics it is that you like, I will have to give you the details on each one. I am not responsible for you getting your hopes possibly crushed.

Sweden and Finland are, quite obviously, together. Doesn't look like they will separate, either.

Denmark is and has been pining after Norway. To little avail. Yet he doesn't give up, and I also doubt he will.

While on the subject, Norway. As he is one of my good friends, I won't disclose what he has told me. But I'll tell you what I thought at the beginning prior to me knowing anything, which is that he cares for Denmark... but he's not very good at showing it.

Finally, Iceland.

. . .

Iceland.

Er. Um.

Iceland... doesn't have anybody.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Have you ever noticed that? You have SuFin and DenNor, but Iceland... has no one. Forever alone.**


	412. America 23

*sniff* How could you insult my awesome food? Well I did once then he  
>threatened me so I decided to never go to him again. Tony is on the internet<br>all the time so I thought he was worth a shot. He left a few days ago so I had  
>to do the research myself and Tony is just as real as your unicorn and that<br>bunny thing...maybe even more real. Are you sure you're fine? Alright then  
>I'll let you go,<p>

Sincerely, Alfred

* * *

><p>America,<p>

You do not have 'food'. You have artificial processed rubbish. Hell, maybe even actual rubbish painted bright colours as to attract consumers.

...you really _are_ a git. That will _never_ change, apparently.

I saw 'Tony' once, but I'm certain it's some sort of prop leftover from a film. He called me a, I quote, "fucking limey". Aliens, were they real, would have _better_ words to say about the British. Your people are always making those _ridiculous _films about creatures from other planets, right? Someone probably programmed a film prop and made it... not... alien-y. You _are_ gullible.

Ha! You admit Uni and Flying Mint Bunny and all my friends are real!

See, I'm _never_ wrong! And it's evident I am a _great_ persuader, haha! Another victory for me!

..._yes_, I'm fine, stop worrying. Git.

England


	413. Sicily 3

To the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I know, I know. I tried to keep them in Sicily, but Romano somehow got them  
>out. I swear, I'm gonna kill him if I ever get my hands on him!<p>

Canada, you know, the country above America. They look alike, but Canada's  
>more of a peacekeeper.<p>

I think you need a break. Don't you have a national tea-time or something? I  
>think France told me you do.<p>

Arrivederci,

Angelica Vargas (Italy Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Sicily,<p>

Romano can be an idiot. A cowardly idiot. The Mafia does supply a considerable amount of Italy's GDP, at least for a crime organisation. I suppose that is why he allows them in the south.

I think if you killed him, you would have a very angry and vengeful Spain to deal with. Just a thought.

_Right!_ Canada! He's in the Commonwealth of Nations. I should know him and recognise him more often, but he sort of... disappears. I don't know how; it's quite odd. Maybe he uses magic...God, if he does, I _must_ know how he vanishes so easily.

Ugh. That bloody frog, twisting my words... yes, we have a 'tea-time'. But it's simply called 'tea'. It's a meal. Contrary to popular belief, we eat food along with the tea we drink. We have this in the morning and afternoon, usually. But it's not a _national_ event; it's something _most_ people do. We don't observe it as a _holiday_ or something ridiculous like that.

People don't really have time to take tea nowadays, though. It was more common in centuries past.

England


	414. Valencia 26

England,

Yes... we have a bond~~

And I don't think he acts that way only with you... so it's not related to  
>Spain hating you in your pirate years.<p>

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Ha. It's still rather unbelievable to me to see others get along with siblings. I suppose the way my own brothers treated me affected the way I see families.

Hmm. But I don't really care. Your brother's _still_ awfully annoying. However, if he doesn't like _France_, my opinion of him will be slightly better. Just a _little_.

England


	415. Mary Read 6

Dearest Arthur,

Sigh- I guess I'm still not used to be called a woman. My inner Mark Read is  
>starting to rear its ugly head again... But I guess you can be an exception to<br>call me by feminine terms.

I'll keep a sharp eye out for you. I probably won't be that hard to spot  
>c'sidring I'm the only one in 18th century pirate garb.<p>

And n-nay, you don't sound rude to my ears, love. *blood spatters* damn this  
>wound- first the fever then it... What else could possibly be lurking for me.<p>

R-rum doesn't get any better after 300 y-years of sitting in your pocket.  
>D-don't try it, love.<p>

The person sitting on the mast about to throw this letter at those beautifully  
>enlarged (and they make quite good for target practice) eyebrows o' yers,<p>

Mary Read

* * *

><p>Mary,<p>

Still as prideful as ever, I see, ha.

Er, I obviously could not make ti to the Port. I really _am_ sorry. I had political affairs to handle. I hope you aren't too disappointed in me not showing up.

Do you really not remember how you died? Because I fear that, however it was that you perished, it's reappearing.

I'll try to keep that in mind, heh. But I do think it would be _quite_ valuable. Not that I would drink it... if it was even fit for consumption. Apparently not.

H-hey! They're not _that_ big-

Wait, you _threw_ this at me? I suppose that's why it smacked me in the face out of _nowhere_. But I didn't see you...

England


	416. New England 13

England,

It was very pleasant, Thank you.

And who caused this in the first place? Hm-

Wait...Don't answer that!

Yes it is what we call it. And it's really bothering me.

What? Doubting yourself- DON'T. EVEN. START WITH THAT GUY. He's even worse  
>than you!<p>

I'm not so narrow minded to think we were the only colony you had, just when  
>you thought of said colony I doubt I was in mind at all. Though I'm wondering<br>why I even try to yell at you for that anymore. All it does is tire me out..-

SKEWED BY WHAT? T-THATS BULL- DON'T EVEN!

I don't really get what you mean, but I'd like to think in future centuries  
>the only thing I would still be MAD about is assimilating me. Who the hell<br>wants to look like you? Also, do you know how annoying it is havin' to say to  
>people "no, not the city in England, the one in America."<p>

Sigh...'least we have Methuen...

Yeah, yeah. Go talk to your fairies and whatever. I just got home. The other  
>houses look a lot...different; to say the least.<p>

Why...do I smell smoke?

PostCivilWar!NewEngland

* * *

><p>I caused <em>nothing<em>! You said _yourself_ you were fooling around with magic! You brought this upon yourself! I'll admit, I may have played a _small_ part in it due to my relapsing, but ultimately it was _you_.

Hey! Scotland isn't a bad at magic! And only _I_ can insult or in any way offend him and my siblings. I don't get along with him most of the time, but his skills in the dark arts are almost impeccable, the same for my siblings. So shut your mouth.

Don't yell at me, New England! I am your superior. I may not be in charge of you, but I am still older than you and deserve respect. Though respect from _you_ would be like hoping to strike oil in _Mars_.

Don't complain to me about me, git! Or do you want me to tell you how much I _hate_ you and that _yes_, I did _not_ think of _you_ whenever I thought of America, and that _yes_, I looked forward to seeing _him_ more? !

Fairies are real! Just because _you_ cannot see them does not mean they do not exist!

_Smoke?_ Gee, I wonder what causes smoke? Could it be a _fire?_

Scornful!England


	417. Hungary 33

England,

But the truth is creepy!

Maybe there is some truth to that. I mean we are nations after all...

Ohh yeah but hurting people isn't my style- okay that was a flat out LIE but  
>you know what I mean. How's uhh...hold on lemme think...<p>

OH! Why don't I help you with your cooking? Surely you need uh...n-new thing  
>to make! Yeah! Spread out your t-t..talents... you know? Hahaha.<p>

I know I did- Oh hell no. I spend much more time with Feli personally than  
>Roddy did. Main caretaker my ass...<p>

That and he gets a kick out of seeing Roderich annoyed with me.

Hungary

P.S.- When did you change your name to "Hungary" Eh, England? I'd like to  
>know. Hehehe~<p>

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

You have to face it nonetheless. Would you rather live a life full of lies?

Of course it's true. I speak words of wisdom, haha.

You can be proper when you want to, but honestly, Hungary, you're very tough and probably manlier than most male countries I know. There's two sides to you.

M-my_ cooking?_ My cooking is f-fine!

Well, Austria actually _owned_ Italy and was the one with the money spent on his needs. But I will say that you knew Italy better.

..._you're_ a positive one.

D-did I really sign my name as _yours? _Bloody hell, I think I need to rest. Embarrassing nonetheless... urgh. Sorry.

England


	418. Spain 17

Inglaterra,

Yes, of course.

I have to agree on that. But nonetheless, their behaviour can be  
>somewhat...eh...let me rephrase that-how the act reflects back on me, and I'd<br>rather not be seen as a bad caretaker. But, friends? Most likely not-it  
>doesn't matter how close and agreeable our governments are-and that's sort of<br>a shame. Ah well.

Ahaha, yes, how true.

I don't think we ever will. There's no getting us to speak without an  
>argument...<p>

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

Writing in the Queen's English, are you? Certainly did not expect that, but it's wonderful to see others write my way.

Anyway.

I can see why you would think that, but you're not a bad caretaker. No matter how much you try to discipline them, there's always going to be at _least_ one who won't listen because he/she has his/her own views. I say this from personal experience.

So long as there are nations, there will be wars and feuds. Be glad we are at least on speaking terms, not bombing each other's cities.

You know, Spain, so long as you aren't hurling insults at me or threatening me, as per usual, you're not a bad person.

Take that as a compliment. I don't give them out often.

England


	419. palmtoptiger 3

I need to go to the funny farm? Your the one who sees imaginary things! You  
>know what, I'm sorry, can we be friends? I apologize for everything. I'll stop<br>bugging you, except for when I really need something. Or I feel the need to  
>bug you. Or I want some tea... The list goes on and on and on. Lol, do British<br>people txt as adictivly as yanks? This is a serious question so  
>pleeeeeeaaaaaaassseee answer.<p>

With out lots of love,

Me (the insane one who still thinks she will rule the world teehee)

* * *

><p>They're <em>not<em> imaginary, they're _real! _Hmph. Non-believer.

Doesn't _that_ sound wonderful.

_Sigh_.

That is not a very serious question, in all honesty. Rather ridiculous. But I think texting and really cellphones in particular are useless, so that's just my personal opinion. I don't text at all; I barely use my cellphone. Only in times of emergency.

As for British _youth_, like all other teenagers, I would _assume_ so. But my people are more responsible than Americans, so I am assured they don't text as addictively as those across the pond.

England


	420. Bermuda 5

iggy,

im bermuda. theres a thing called the bermuda triangle. how do you think i  
>make the ships dissappear~?<p>

dont worry~ i ran when i saw the sword.i think im still in japan cuz i saw  
>some mountain things earlier. im hiding under their docks as im writing this.<p>

feli got ARRESTED?...whoa. since im still here, why not rescue him~?

see ya later,

bermuda~

PS. of course i know what my place looks like~ its just that i forget  
>sometimes.<p>

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

The Triangle is not _real_. All the tragedies that have supposedly occurred there are coincidental and can be explained logically; it's _not_ because of a magic, mysterious force.

So you _are_ in Japan? Still, I do not think it wise for you to bail Italy out. He's probably in trouble, and a territory such as yourself would not be powerful enough to persuade the police for his release.

England


	421. Florida 3

Well, like, excuuuuse me for having a bit of fun. Don't get your boxer in a  
>twist, Iggy, you, like need to like, lighten up.<p>

Oh, yeah, because being a fucking proper lady is SOOO 21st century. Sucks to  
>be a girl in your house, Iggers.<p>

So NOT love,

Offended!Florida

* * *

><p>Florida,<p>

I'm not overreacting! I am simply being the patriarch figure your father _clearly_ is not for you. Is it so wrong for me to tell you that drinking is harmful to you? Since I know that you're a rather materialistic girl and like to drive a lot, doing this while plastered is dangerous not just to you, but to others. America has a _really_ high traffic collision rate, you know. D'you _want_ to be labelled a murderer?

Manners will _never_ go out of style.

You, _dear_, are clearly quite the opposite of proper.

Unfortunate to be a woman in my country? I think it's unfortunate to live in _yours_, no matter your sex.

Scornful!England


	422. Washington DC 16

Hey! Labrynth is fuckin' epic. Next we get to watch Tron and Dark crystal.  
>Hardcore muppet movies for the win.<p>

Suuuure~ You keep telling you're pirate alter-ego that, Iggy...

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. Pfft, dude, you're ruining my fun and random use of french! I think... I  
>dunno, DC spends a lot more time with 'em than I do. Did you know they go<br>SHOPPING together? And she's never complained about him being a perv ONCE!

-Ohio

* * *

><p>Aleckis,<p>

It's an _alright_ film. It was made in part by Britons, which is about the _only_ reason I approve of it. America's movies are ridiculous and atrocious. They have no plot or character development, but apparently it doesn't matter because, hey, they've got explosions and gratuitous cleavage exposure, and _that's_ enough for them!

Hmph.

...are you implying that I'm mental?

Based on what Ohio tells me, _you're_ the one that's mad! _Why_ the bloody hell would you shop with_ France? !_

England


	423. Japan 13

*Again, shaky writing... and the paper is practically 1/2 red!*

Aa- Iggi*blood splatters* I might be*more blood splatters* worry. It will be  
>fine. I have already *even more blood splatters* apologize for the<br>inconvenience and bid you to not *splatters again* like that again.

I will *more and more splatters* Italia-san. The fact that I know of it means  
>*splatters* yes? I say this especially to you. I know know that you are *splat<br>splat splat* and I can assure you that he is *splat* I assure you I intend to  
>keep it that way.<p>

I thank you for*chunk of smudged ink due to red and browning water. Wonder  
>what it is.. splat splat splat...* happy. But I am still weak, please<br>*splatters! more splatters!

Jap-*splat*

*splatters*-iku

* * *

><p>Japan, I can <em>barely<em> read your letter due to all the blood stains! You need medical help and _now_; after _that_ you can liberate Italy.

I normally do not approve of doctors, but you _clearly_ need a physician. It is not a suggestion, it is an _order_. Go, _now_.

England


	424. Moscow 13

Dear Mister Angliya,

That he would.

True enough, but still. Even he should know better.

If they won't kill me, they're going to torture me until I snap and Saint  
>Petersburg, stop trying to read what I'm writing. досадный брат!<br>Step away before I decide to castrate you with a spoon. I'm sorry about that,  
>Mister Angliya.<p>

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

I hear your father is wanting to marry Croatia. Would you happen to know anything about it? It's fine if you don't, but I'm rather confused as to _why_. Where ever is Belarus when you actually need her...?

If anything happens to you, Moscow, other nations would certainly be on alert. Your family isn't exactly _known_ for being caring and loving. But like I said, they will _not_ harm you in any way.

Perhaps you should take a vacation somewhere else. Saint Petersburg seems to be bothering you. He also appears to be _awfully_ shady lately and into your personal concerns.

England


	425. Madrid 22

Señor Inglaterra,

True.

Do you know what causes the relapses? It seems like everyone I talk to is...  
>oh, no! It's not me, is it? I hope not!<p>

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

I'm not certain as to what causes them, but I have my suspicions. I believe that when you go through a certain period in history, no matter how dark, a bit of your mental outlook from then stays with you, even if it's completely the opposite of how you really are. And if somehow you are reminded of those times, you start to act as you would then.

I don't really know; it's just a thought. A theory.

But it's _certainly_ not _you_, don't be silly!

England


	426. Veneziano 6

Mr. E-England,

D-don't worry about m-me, really! I j-just cut myself trying to escape the  
>p-polizia, that's why t-the last letter had b-blood on it. It's j-just a b-bit<br>hard to write r-right now, but I-I'll be fine!

One o-officer felt bad for me so w-while the o-others went to fetch a  
>d-doctor, he g-gave me some paper a-and a pen so I c-could keep writing t-to<br>people. H-he won't let me u-use the p-phone because i-it can be traced a-and  
>he'll get in t-trouble.<p>

D-don't feel bad, M-Mr. England! I-I o-o-offered to go-

Cazzo! M-me dispia-ace fo-or all of t-the smudges. I-I keep d-dropping t-the  
>pen.<p>

A-as I was s-saying, I offe-ered to go! Th-his w-wasn't you-ur fault! I-I  
>should h-have k-known that J-Japan w-would-d've aler-rted h-his polizia after<br>a-all the call-ls a-and letters.

O-oh, the do-octor's comi-ing! I-I'll c-contact you a-after I g-get h-home.  
>H-have you be-een able t-to get aho-old of m-mio fratello, or Sp-pain?<br>L-Lovino never c-checks the m-mail so I didn't send h-him a lett-ter. M-me  
>dispi-iace f-for mak-king you c-contact the-em for m-me, Mr. E-England.<p>

V-Ven-nezi-iano

* * *

><p>Dear <em>God<em>, this is a worrying predicament.

Italy, don't apologise for the messiness. You're injured. You shouldn't even be writing now, but at least I'm glad to know you're alright.

You offered to go because _I_ mentioned Japan's troublesome ordeal. It is not your fault at all.

_Shite!_ I _knew_ I forgot something when talking to Spain. H-how could I have? Ugh. God, I can be _dense_.

I'll just send someone for you, alright? I'll make them wear a Union Jack shirt, so you know they're British. In case you don't know, the Union Jack is the name of my flag.

Hopefully, you're reading this after the doctor fixes you up and you are on a plane on your way to your house. Keep me informed on your well-being.

England


	427. Scotland 4

Ahahaha!

A li'l embarrassed, me wee brother? How cute of ye!

Well, since ye ALMOST asked me nicely, I sent along a package wi'this letter.  
>Don' mind the whiskey stains on't. Inside's a book I found in the basement.<br>Black as th'Earl of Hell's waistcoat, it is, but there's some spells  
>bookmarked in it that can help ye out. Ah dinnae ken if they'll be perfect for<br>ye, but ye may as well give 'em a go. Also, I sent ye a jar of powdered hen's  
>teeth for the agin' spell. That shite's impossible t'find nowadays.<p>

Keep the heid, lad! Yer jus' a runty wee bugger, but... -scribbled as if he  
>was trying not to look at it- ... Scotty believes in ye...<p>

Now, even if yer aff yer heid in dealin' wi'all this, I wish ye luck.

Now, gonna go get tanked. Bein' nice while sober's givin' me a headache...

Scotland.

* * *

><p>N-no! Why would I-I be embarrassed? And don't c-call me 'cute'!<p>

Th-thanks, Scotland. Means, er, a-a lot. I can c-conjure the spell, alright, but the ingredients are, um, a l-little hard to come by. L-like you said.

A-again, thanks...

And don't g-get _too_ drunk. It, uh, scares Wales s-sometimes and you know North i-is, um, still pretty small, and I don't want him to end up d-drinking so much.

England


	428. Ely 17

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I send my sincerest apologies to you, sir, for... taking advantage of your  
>state of mind... *tear stains and multiple words scratched out* I wouldn't<br>blame you for ceasing contact with me... I am a terrible person. Words cannot  
>express how ashamed and depressed I feel... but I am sincerely, truly sorry...<p>

~Ely

* * *

><p>Thank you Ely, that was much needed.<p>

You're not a terrible person. For _one_ simple mistake – even if it was foolish – why would I ignore you like some child?

I appreciate your kind, apologetic words. I can tell you mean it.

Just don't do anything like that again to _anyone_.

...well, if a historical relapse happened to _France_, it's a different story. Hahaha!

England


	429. Belize 23

Papi,

Si, when Nicaragua saw me she literally ran up to me and hugged me. She said  
>she thought I died in there.<p>

Um, well... I've been blacking out a few times... and according to big sister  
>Guatemala I've been relapsing into my past personalities...<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

I could have almost believed it as well.

_Oh dear_. I want you to be careful of how you act and keep in mind that if you act malignantly, it will only hurt you and your sisters. Let Guatemala care for you now and watch you.

I have other spells I need to conjure now, so I cannot cast something to make you fine again. Just watch your temper. But I know you don't really have one, so hopefully you will be alright.

England


	430. Croatia 3

Arthur-kun~

Russia-chan is talking to our bosses so we don't have to get married again~

I'm in my female body, but I'm getting switched back somehow... I  
>automatically change back to a boy (I'm biologically male, I'm just a girl<br>from magic) once I can't stand it anymore~

*kisses your lips gently in a fun happy way, not romantically then releases  
>your cheek* Isn't it wonderful? I will go back to my calm lifestyle with<br>Hungary-chan after I turn back into a boy!

Klara-chan

* * *

><p>GYAH!<p>

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!

Ack, _disgusting!_

So now Russia doesn't want to get married? What? Good God, you lot are so confusing.

I'll work on a potion to make you a boy _permanently_. My brother has given me the ingredients; now I have to prepare it. But it will take a while.

England


	431. Guatemala 16

Inglaterra,

Si... alright. Hopefully this is only temporary... and also hopefully Mexico  
>doesn't try to come over to my house again... That might cause some<br>problems...

E-EH? BELIZE DON'T TOUCH THAT GUN!

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

You better guard the doors and exits around Belize's house _excellently_, then.

Wh-what? Now he's wanting to handle _weapons? _This is _not_ good. I assume this time period is currently from, er, when he wanted his independence?

I'll... do something, I-I mean, um, a spell, soon. Eh.

England


	432. Canada 1

Dear England,

I-It's Canada; you know...th-the one with the b-bear - who kind of looks like  
>Alfred?<p>

I've been wo-wondering if I could borrow something, eh...erm, um, some  
>pictures of when I had been young. W-when I was your colony, I-I mean...<p>

I had tr-tried to talk about the matter during the last meeting, but you  
>d-didn't seem to have heard me...you must've been awfully distracted, eh?<br>-nervous laughter-

So, if you could maybe mail some to me...if you still have them...I would  
>appreciate it a lot, eh?<p>

Signed,

Canada.

PS: Before you, uh, ask...I-I'm not America like you h-had th-thought last  
>time. Just reminding you, eh?<p>

* * *

><p>Canadia,<p>

Ah, yes, I know who you are! The bloke that I barely ever hear from. D'you attend world meetings, Canadia? I don't think I've ever seen you there. I know you're part of my Commonwealth, but you _do_ have to show up.

Photographs? I don't _think_ they had been invented then, but my memory can fail me sometimes. I'm sure I have at least a _portrait_ of you. I'll see if I can find any mementos of you nevertheless.

Er. Y-you were at the last m-meeting? Um, I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you... I p-probably, er, _was_ distracted then, ahaha.

I'll look for them after I'm done casting some spells.

I-I know you're not America, Canadia! You don't need to tell me that.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I feel so bad for Canada ;-; Alas, England tends to be forgetful of him. Can't even get the name right.**


	433. Seychelles 1

DRUNKARD.

REMEMBER ME? Seychelles.

You owned me.

You've written to me in my own letter acceptance.

I dislike you. XD

Nah, this isn't all this letter's about. I want to know how Ireland's doing,  
>and Scotland.<p>

Au reviour,

~ Seychelles

* * *

><p>Hmm, yes, you're that little island nation brat. France owned you before me, <em>dear<em>.

Good to know. But I _really_ don't care.

Scotland is doing fine, as is Ireland.

There.

You got your response.

Now go back to talking with your fish friends or whatever.

England


	434. New England 14

OH WELL DUH! That's why I said don't answer the freakin' question!

Didn't mean the magic, but he is an ass. -Oi! WHAT THE FUCK? What kind of sad  
>excuse for love for your siblings is that! "only I can insult him" You're so<br>screwed up..

Superior? Pfftt. Respect? I rather not, I don't have much of that to spare for  
>you.<p>

Ha! The feeling is completely mutual, fucking limey.

O-Ow..my head...craaaappp..wha-

NAW IT'S THE BASEMENT FLOODING. I'm just never sure if it's actually a fire  
>or that freakin' Masshole trying to cook! Which that was what it was. He's<br>such an idiot..

PostCivilWar!NewEngland

* * *

><p>D'you think I was going to listen to <em>you?<em> Pfft, no. I am clearing my good name, you bugger. Good God, to think I was starting to be fond of you. I see your impudence and overall irritating disposition will not go away, no matter your age. You were cute when you were younger, but _clearly_ you disappointed _someone_ up above.

I swear, if I get my hands around you, I will box your ears, you bloody git! Scotland is family. _Actual_ family. Related to me by blood. Unlike _you_. You were a _pathetic_ excuse for a colony and this still applies, except you're just some _region_ in America now.

You know what?

You know bloody _WHAT?_

I'm not going to bloody age you, you damn Yank! You can suffer through your history for all I care. Get someone _else_ to help you, seppo!

Narked!England


	435. Hungary 34

England,

...In certain situations, maybe. Sometimes the truth hurts, we both know that.

Oh yes, you are the wisest man in Europe, Sir Arthur~ Haha.

You know what? I'm taking all of that as a compliment, thaaannkk youuu. I  
>embrace both those sides~<p>

Yes but there's always room for improvement no matter what it is-So why not  
>take the offer?<p>

Oh no yes of course he did, but I tended to him personally. Austria took over  
>the business aspect of taking care of Italy.<p>

...Wha? What's that supposed to mean?

Yes, you did. Haha, seeing you slightly embarassed is all the thanks I need  
>England~<p>

Hungary

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

That still seems cowardly to me. If I had lied to myself throughout the years,I would have never done half of what I accomplished.

But of course I am. I actually have a good education. Unlike _some_ of the gits that run amok in Europe. At least I'm an island nation, so they're not _directly_ my neighbours.

Take it as you will. Just don't unleash your bloodthirsty side on me. You can be _quite_ intimidating.

NoI'mgoodthanks. Ahahahaha...

I can't help but wonder how Italy would have turned out if you weren't around to care for him. Hmm.

You said that Germany is amused when Roderich reprimands you. Surely you're just getting the wrong impression. Germany isn't one to partake in schadenfreude.

...oh, belt up.

England


	436. Panama 1

Hi England!

I know we talked only once during a world meeting, but I do know that you're  
>little brother Belize's dad!<p>

So since you're his dad, do you know why he isn't so lively anymore? I haven't  
>heard from him in quite a while... I'm starting to worry about him.<p>

And why do you hate the U.S.A? He didn't say many mean things about you when  
>he stayed over at my house during the construction of my canal...except for<br>your food. Does it really taste as bad as he says it is?

Firmado,

Dani \ Panama

* * *

><p>Panama,<p>

That I am.

Yes, I do know. Er, it's a rather long and complicated explanation, not to mention it's difficult to believe at first, but it's all very true.

He's going through historical relapses. Reliving his past. I don't know what time period it is, but I would think it's one where he felt depressed.

Don't worry about that, though. I am going to work on another potion for him, and it should not take me _too_ long.

I... um, I don't really _hate_ him. That's too strong a word. He's just sort of annoying sometimes, and he never really knows when to shut up, not to mention his disgusting eating habits. But if he weren't like that, he wouldn't be _America_. He's, er, actually rath-

W-wait, he _insulted_ my_ food?_ That hypocritical _git!_ And n-no, my cooking is _perfectly_ fine!

England


	437. Bermuda 6

BRITAIN.

there IS such thing as the bermuda not all me though.

please stop labeling me as a territory. one day I SHALL BE INDEPENDANT.

...i COULD.( if i try really really hard maybe)

~bermuda

PS uh.. for no reason what so ever, can ya tell me where the nearest police  
>station is?<p>

* * *

><p>Bermuda,<p>

What is the mysterious force behind it, then? It makes no sense. It's not any mythical creature, because I would know about it. Besides, they're too nice to do something like that. And it certainly isn't an _alien race_.

Ha! Don't make me laugh. _I'm_ the reason you're profitable. Without me, you would be nothing.

You are _not_ going to Japan to free Italy. I have already sent one of my own people.

England


	438. Scotland 5

Hah. Don't be thankin' me, lad. Yer a right lil' whelp sometimes. Just don'  
>wanna see too many nations gettin' 'emselves all buggered up, an' it's yer job<br>t'fix it, not me.

Right. Me ingredients're startin' t'dwindle. Sent ye the last of me hen's  
>teeth, not that I need that smelly shite. Unicorn water's all gone, I need<br>another set of night 'shrooms... Should prob'ly go pick 'em soon.

Nessy's nosin' at me window, so I best go feed 'er. Then, goin' back to  
>th'drink.<p>

Speakin' o' which, you've ne'er seen Wales drunk, have ye? He's scarier'n me  
>when under the whiskey's kiss. An' North'll barely touch the stuff. Don't be<br>worryin', lad. I won' rough him up.

Seeya, baby brother,

Scotland.

* * *

><p>Scotland,<p>

Y-yes, I know it's my job... er, but I might have, um, _threatened_ New England to, er, not age him... ahaha. But in my d-defense, he was being a jerk! Well, a-all my former colonies have at some point, and some _still_ dislike me. Yet I'm trying to _help_ him, and does he listen? _Nooo_! God, he drives me _mad_. Inconsiderate git.

But don't worry; I'll end up using the ingredients you gave me for other spells. I've got _plenty _else I need to correct.

Oh, unicorn water's no problem for me. I'll ask Uni to visit you, if you want, so the water will be fresh. Works better that way, I've come to find.

Does Nessy still hold a grudge against me after, er, the whole fish incident? It _was_ a rather long time ago, but she's always been temperamental toward me.

No, I haven't seen Wales plastered. I thought he always preached about how we should _not_ drink. Ha, the hypocrite. Good for North.

England


	439. Spain 18

Inglaterra,

...If you must know, I've always written that way-even back when I first  
>learned English-after all, it was "The Queen's English" that I learned...<p>

I digress.

...In my case they're pretty much all bad eggs. I mean, look at Sevilla. He's  
>so much like Romano it's scary. And as much as I l-l-care about Lovino, one is<br>most certainly enough.

Of course, and it's all because of differing opinions-but if we all though  
>alike, the world would be quite boring. Ah, si, at least we're on speaking<br>terms.

Ah, gracias for that. I have to be honest and say the same goes for you.

I did. Enough of this mushiness though-it's weirding me out.

España

* * *

><p>Hmm. I'll have to use this against you, should we bicker again. Ha, I kid. Sort of.<p>

Romano's a cranky sod. I will never understand why you bother or put up with him.

I have to say the same, we're being _awfully_ civil. Write something that will annoy me. I'm feeling rather tired and _nice_ and I don't like it; I need to insult someone. Wherever is America, the git...

England


	440. Belize 24

Hola Papi,

Why was I even upset in the first place? I don't get it!

Maybe I could react better if I knew WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON! -tear stains  
>on paper-<p>

I-I'm so confused...

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

I'll tell you what happened, but you have _got_ to promise to keep yourself in control.

I relapsed, thought we were back in history or time or what have you, and I, er, became possessive of you. I assume this affected your mental state, as you went on a decline. Now _you_ seem to be doing the same as _I_ was.

I made a quick experimental potion, which _should_ make you calmer and contain what ever anger you have. It should arrive with this or shortly thereafter. Take it, for your own good. You're clearly not like yourself still.

England


	441. Guatemala 17

Inglaterra,

Okay, I got him away from the weapons... but now he's sort of in depressed  
>mode... and he keeps speaking in Spanish. I'm fine with the Spanish, but he<br>normally prefers to speak English... I think he's back into when you first  
>took him over...<p>

...This is insane...

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Dear God.<p>

Um, I made a potion, it should arrive soon. I hope it works. I did not have much time to make it, so its effects should either work, but not potently, _or_ work potently, then disappear. Either way, I am making one that will make him normal again right now.

If he starts to believe that he's, er, well, you know, then try to convince him otherwise, but don't be too strong about it, as it could provoke him.

England


	442. Veneziano 7

Mr. England,

I-It's not that bad! I just bruised the bone in my right wrist and I have a few  
>cuts! It's really not as bad as it seemed! I just need stitches and I'll be<br>okay, ve, I promise! It's what I deserve for jumping out of a second story  
>window trying to get away.<p>

Ve, I would've gone anyway; he wasn't answering any of my letters and he never  
>does that. Just because you mentioned it doesn't mean I was going to go. I<br>offered because I didn't want anything bad happening to you. You're really  
>stressed, ve, and this would've been worse for you than me! It wasn't either<br>of our faults, ve!

You will, really? Ve, thank you Mr. England! I'm sorry to be a bother and just  
>give you something else to worry about! I'll make up for it, promise!<p>

Oh, have you heard from Japan? None of the officers are answering my  
>questions. Ve, if he needs a doctor I'll tell the officers to send their<br>doctor over!

...Ve, your flag is a red and white cross with a red and white X on a blue  
>background, right? I see someone with a pretty shirt with that design. Is that<br>the person you sent? He's talking to some of the officers. I'll write back  
>later, Mr. England. They're starting to yell at each other.<p>

Veneziano

P.S. I'm sorry for the bad handwriting; I'm using my left hand right now.

* * *

><p>Veneziano,<p>

At least you're feeling better, I trust? Because if you're not, then taking you out of the country would not be such a good idea. Yet I don't want to bother Japan with this.

You...? Er. Um. _Sigh_.

You have no need to make up for it; it is my duty to make sure you're fine, because this is my fault, don't try to convince me otherwise.

I have heard from him. He seems to be better and over his barmy phase, so that's good. Just in case, though, don't talk to him yet should you see him, in case he sees you and is reminded of another time period.

Indeed, that is my flag. Hmm, it seems even my people like to pick arguments, ha. Tell him to stop bickering, under my orders. You need to go back to Italy as soon as possible.

But if you still don't feel well, don't lie.

England


	443. Ely 18

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

R-really? Thank you, s-sir... I appreciate your forgiveness a b-bunch...

I know it was f-foolish of me but my fangirl deviance just k-kicked in  
>a-and... T_T I just wanted a hug from you. I am a huge fan and... I'm sorry...<p>

~Ely

P.S. France having historical relapses? Eeeewww... I would never try something  
>like that with him! _<p>

P.P.S. I'm experiencing some sort of vision problems. I.. I'm not sure  
>though... I saw a bright, fuzzy light floating around and I heard... jingling<br>or twinkling, accompanied by giggling... I'm confused now. I went to the  
>optometrist and I do need glasses but... I can't understand why I heard<br>giggling and jingling. I also felt somewhat happy, albeit confused... Could it  
>be there was something THERE and not just my eyesight failing me? O_o<p>

xxxx

Ely,

Well, I _am_ a gentleman. Charm and a sense of pardon are two traits I have.

I didn't mean for you to, er, _seduce_ France (because _no one _in their right mind would, anyway) should that happen to him, but rather something _fun_... like messing with his head and using his _feeble_ mental state for advantageous strategic plots to _weaken_ him... ahem.

!

That sounds like a faerie. Or, at least, the apparition of a faerie before they _fully_ materialise.

England


	444. Canada 2

England,

I...I always attend the meetings...! I suppose you just don't take notice of  
>me, eh? It's not that uncommon after all...aha. -sigh-<p>

Th-thank you for looking; It means a lot to me, eh.

...I suppose so. Maybe next time I'll say hello.

Ah, um, and England...it's spelled "Ca-na-da". Not "Canadia". B-but y-you can  
>just call me M-Matthew, if it'd be eas-easier.<p>

Thanks for responding so quickly,

Canada.

* * *

><p>Oh. Ahahaha... oops. Well, er, there tend to be a lot of countries, so, um, I don't really see everyone... ahaha.<p>

What I was looking f-? Oh, yes, photographs! Er, I couldn't find any, but I did find a _portrait_ of you. At least, I _think_ it's you. You're the one that looks like America but with wavy hair, yes? I'm fairly sure. Yes, it's you. But anyway, I'll have it shipped to you.

You should. I don't see you quite often.

Bollocks. I knew there was _something_ off about the whole letter. Sorry, Canada. I must have been tired, ahaha.

I prefer to address nations by their official name rather than human name, but if you'd rather be called Matthew, it's fine.

England


	445. Mary Read 7

M-my Dearest Lubber,

H-har har. Very funny. Still as w-witty and naive as ever, I see.

Nay, I don't h-hold anything against ye for not joining Anne and I (plus a few  
>choice companions.) for a d-drink. (Though I can't say the same for her and<br>Calico..)

W-well of course I h-haven't remembered how I past- I haven't died y-yet now  
>'av I?<p>

A-and please- take the rum. It's good no more. It tastes like brine..

And ney, I 'aven't been trying to insult you with the drapery around yer eyes.  
>It just makes you a one in a million. There just like octopus tentacles stuck<br>to yer forehead.

And yes. I threw it at you. This one I aimin' for the back o yer head, *cough*

Mary Read

P.S. Anne 'n Calico Jack say 'ello- there a bit busy at the moment though.

* * *

><p>Mary,<p>

Damn, you were all there? Ha... it _really_ would have been like the old days...

Oh. Well. I really don't believe you died because of a mere sickness or complications from childbirth. You always were much more resilient than that.

I'd rather _not_ have rum if it tastes like that...

...I'll ignore _that_ wonderful little comment.

Hmph.

My regards to Anne and John (his soubriquet is _ridiculous_) as well.

England


	446. Japan 14

Ahh.. No. We are nations Iggirisu-san. I will be fine.

Please excuse the blood before. I do not believe that most of it was mine. I  
>would be too embarrassed to send a half intelligible letter. I do apologize<br>for it though.

Please excuse my attitude in the mean time. I am currently in the process of  
>re-examining my relationships with other countries. I shall confirm my<br>standing with you soon. Please be patient.

For the last letter I have sent, I merely wished to address your concern of  
>whether Japan still stood. As well as to say that Italia-san is fine. My men<br>are taking care of him and he is alive. My doctors are helping him. On that  
>note, I wish to ensure Italia-san's complete health before letting him leave<br>the country. Please ask your men to hold down for the time being.

Could you also ask Bermuda-san to not try anything rash during his stay? And  
>that I apologize for any frights or events that may have made him think that<br>he was endangered. I believe that he may be near the police station. If he is  
>searching for Italia-san, he is on the wrong prefecture. I have already sent<br>one of my men to collect him.

I am currently not entertaining guests of any sort for the time being. That  
>includes all humans and nations. Thank you for your understanding.<p>

Japan

* * *

><p>Hmm. You're much too prideful, Japan. As long as you're feeling better now, I suppose. Just because we're nations doesn't necessarily mean we should <em>suffer<em> through our wounds.

It... wasn't yours? I-I'd rather not know whose it was, th-then.

Er, a-alright. Brest of luck. But it shouldn't be too hard; I mean, it's not like you had control over anything... a-and it's, um, slightly, maybe, sort of my fault you ended up phasing. Is there anything I can do to help?

I-I asked him if he was feeling fine, and he insisted in it. Of course, I didn't really believe him, but I don't want _you_ to tend to him when _I_ was the one who asked if he could make visit you. If it's a burden, I don't mind having Italy flown to my house so my doctors can take care of him.

Ah, Bermuda's a git. I've been yelling at him, but he's thick-headed. I will ensure stricter means; I don't want someone else to cause trouble over at your place because of me.

In that case, I'll have someone pick him up. I completely understand.

England


	447. Washington DC 17

Iggy,

...what the FUCK is wrong with you! So anti-American...dear lord, man. Can you  
>be ANY more prejudice against anything made in America?<p>

Maybe...maybe not. It's all subjective, really.

So? France is a cool guy. No means no, and he actually seems to LISTEN to  
>that. It might be dad, but who the hell cares? He's okay in my books~ Besides,<br>we're both so fucked up in the head we laugh at the same things. Innuendos are  
>fun~ I hang out with him, Spain, Prussia, and SOMETIMES Russia if dad doesn't<br>figure out that he's coming here, or I bought a ticket to Russia.

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. ...no comment. I just don't even know anymore. Chicks crazy.

* * *

><p>Don't use such vulgar language with me, Washington D.C.!<p>

Pfft, please. You know American films are _exactly_ like that. Tell me of one modern movie that does not incoporate some form of what I described into it.

YOU SOCIALISE WITH RU-? !

Dear _God_. You poor, sad girl, not knowing what you're getting yourself into!

England


	448. Valencia 27

England

Well, I get on well with most of my siblings... but I have a LOT of them. So  
>it's kind of different.<p>

And... Now I'm dating Teruel :)

About France, he says "France speaks weird, looks at my sisters in a way I  
>don't like -except Valencia... He fears her since the firecrackers incident-<br>and I just can't stand him. He's just a pervert" ... I didn't know France was  
>afraid of me...<p>

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>You have many siblings, I have many – er, past territories and colonies, and I suppose I am a patriarch figure for them. Along with my brothers. I have quite a large family.<p>

...what.

I-I have _really_ no words for, uh, that.

Er.

Anyway.

If France is scared of you, that, um, says something.

England


	449. Croatia 4

*a ghost of a smile appears* I'm sorry about that. I was just so happy.

P-please don't destroy me! If Nikola is a boy permanently, I'll be destroyed  
>forever... *tears well up* I'm the other half of his soul, heart, and mind...<br>please don't get rid of me, Arthur-chan...

Klara Igrec

* * *

><p>ARGH!<p>

I already made a potion that will make you a boy permanently; I can't let that go to waste!

So _what_ the bloody hell do you _want_ – to be a _girl_ or a _boy?_

You better decide and _quickly_.

Otherwise, I will simply implement the spell on the letter to make you a boy and you will deal with it.

England


	450. Moscow 14

Dear Mister Angliya,

What? No, this is the first I've heard of it. Croatia should hide. She's  
>probably looking for Father, as usual, or waiting for me to tell her one of<br>his hiding places.

They can be - caring and loving, that is, and only to an extent. On the rare  
>occasions when Father behaves in a mature manner, he can be a good father.<br>Like I said, though, those instances are very rare. Belarus can be a good  
>aunt, too.<p>

I actually have to go check on Madrid soon, anyways. She's probably ill again  
>and not telling anyone, as usual. She's a good friend, but she's still an<br>idiot sometimes.

Saint Petersburg has been like that since I took over his role as capital.  
>Something along the lines of making sure I know how to - Оставьте<br>меня в покое! I'm warning you. I'll set Aunt Natalya on you! I've  
>got my mobile right here and she's an emergency contact! All I have to do is<br>press a button. That's right, you run! Your gullibility's infallible - See? I  
>can handle him. Of course, there will come a day when he realizes that I'm<br>lying about calling Belarus, but, ah, come what may.

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Eh, now it seems he does not want to do so. I am so utterly lost in this whole ordeal. First and foremost, Croatia is changing his – er, her – opinions with the consistency of a pendulum swinging. I hope he – she! – does not bother you.

Yes, but _sometimes_. I wonder if Napoleon had been successful in his invasion of Russia, would you be in a better household.

You should do that; she seems to think the relapsing was her fault. She _can_ be slightly daft, _just_ a bit. But not in the stupid sense, rather in the sense of childish innocence.

Hmm, I still don't trust him. But those are some good threats you're using, ha.

England


	451. Madrid 23

Señor Inglaterra,

If that were the case, wouldn't I be reacting to the tour guides that go  
>through my street? They're usually discussing conquistadors, and I know I<br>behaved differently then. Perhaps because it's such a normal occurrence to me  
>now that I don't even think twice about it?<p>

It's an interesting theory, and it's not completely ridiculous like some  
>people would have you believe.<p>

That's good.

Madrid

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

I'm not sure. Like I said, that's just what I believe, but it doesn't mean I have solved every flaw in the theory. I would presume you did not relapse because the way others were did not affect you much. Or perhaps you were level-headed enough to realise that there is no possible way we could go back in time, therefore ruling our past irrational behaviours illogical.

_Of course_ that it is _not_ ridiculous! Those who _dismiss_ my ideas are the ones who are _wrong_. _How_ many times have I stopped or argued against one of America's idiotic plans, thus saving the world of a greatly foolish war?

England


	452. Ireland 3

Big brother,

You do like me? YAY! North told me you didn't... oops! Sorry. No talking about  
>our family.<p>

I've been OK. You remember Patrick, the leprechaun that lives with me? He's  
>decided to live off Guinness so is permanently drunk. Then he ends up<br>destroying my house and all my stuff. Do you have some kind of spell to make  
>him sober or something? Speaking of magical creatures, how's Mint Bunny? I<br>saw... it.. yesterday when I was out for a walk in the countryside. I was  
>surprised to see it when you weren't there.<p>

How are you? Everything OK in England, I hope?

From your only sane sibling,

Iona Kirkland

aka

The Republic of Ireland

* * *

><p>Ireland,<p>

North is simply wanting to start another feud. He can get a bit jealous sometimes; don't listen to him on family issues. Don't tell him I said that, either.

How could I not? I know all of our land's magical creatures. You were once part of me, after all. That doesn't seem like a very wise choice; what if someone reaches the end of a rainbow and are greeted by a plastered, snarky leprechaun? He's always been blunt. With alcohol, I don't think he'd be any nicer.

Flying Mint Bunny is alright. You can't blame him for being all the way there, he likes to fly about. Just like Uni and all my other friends. They don't like to be trapped here; they'd go mad. So I allow them to go around the world on little leisure trips, if you will. Most can't see them, anyway, so they're perfectly safe.

I'm fine. Trying to get different matters that I caused back to normal, using magic. Occasionally bickering with those who annoy me.

What else is new?

England


	453. Florida 4

Iggy,

Even though you're trying to be a good person in the "patriarch" role, it  
>doesn't change the fact that you're not my dad, I go by DAD's rules, and if<br>the other states get drunk, by God and your nonexistent faeries, I'm going to  
>get drunk too.<p>

You're not the best role model either, I saw you drunk and feeling up a VERY  
>happy France last Friday.<p>

Yeah, but manners only existed for you AFTER your pirate and Imperialistic  
>days. You were so much fun then, trying to get your grabby British hands on<br>every piece of land before Spain did.

I heard that you went all past-present time mix up-y a couple weeks ago  
>*sniggers* even Mr. British-stick-up-his-ass was ungentemanly then.<p>

Even France was more of a gentleman. He was nice to Canada!

Hate you,

Actually Smart!Pissed!Florida

* * *

><p>I don't necessarily care for you drinking, obviously you will not stop, but <em>driving<em> after doing so is _dangerous_, you daft git! Following America's rules is what you should do, yes, but I don't recall him _ever_ saying you could climb on a car while under the influence and just _driving!_

Wh-what? ! I did no such bloody thing!

At least I _have_ some now, unlike you, you damn munter!

Argh! I swear, Florida, if you were not of America's states, I would have sent a curse with this letter!

Narked!England


	454. New England 15

Should have know you wouldn't because even when it's one simple thing you're  
>too stubborn to do such!<p>

Fond of me? You were?...what the hell are we talking about?- ow...God it feel  
>like I drank an entire keg or, whatever their called-<p>

Like you could even attempt that! I'd dismember you! Just because I'm not a  
>country doesn't mean I couldn't become one!<p>

PATHETIC? I'LL SHOW YOU PATHETIC YOU FUCKER!-

What?...What the hell are you even saying?- Dude! C'mon don't be like that, I  
>need help! The masshole doesn't know crap about magic anymore, and he has<br>Salem! I'm sure no one else would help me either-

LIKE I WOULD FREAKIN WANT YOUR HELP, DAMN TEA-SIPPER!

PostCivilWar!NewEngland

* * *

><p>You <em>bloody<em> prat, I mean _exactly_ what I fucking said!

I am _not_ going to be ageing you _or_ helping you ever _again!_ I'm a git for _ever_ wanting to do so. Obviously, I still have _not_ learned about history...

Oh, go cry to your mum, git! I abso-bloody-lutely do _not_ give a damn, not anymore.

You are a selfish little arsehole.

Narked!England


	455. Hungary 36

England,

I meant more with trivial things, but I see your point.

Ey, just because I'm amongst these idiots doesn't mean you should count me as  
>one of them. Alright? I don't appreciate that~<p>

Aha, you haven't angered me or anything so you can bet I won't be doing that  
>any time soon. Nice to know I'm intimidating though, maybe I could use that to<br>my advantage sometime- not with you of course, you haven't done anything.

Really? Oh...alright then, I guess. If you really don't want it, I guess I  
>can't force you.<p>

Uhh...if it was just Austria, he's be a bit stingy, not as bubbly, and  
>probably so deprived of pasta that he no longer had an obsession. I prefer<br>what we have now over that out come~

Oh right. I beg to differ. Y-You don't know how much of a geheimnis masochist  
>he is. I mean, Italy found those DVDs...<p>

Nahh, I don't like belts~

Hungary

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

I didn't mean _you_. I said some of the gits. If I ever wished to insult you, I think I would have a better sense of judgement and do so when your back was turned. By gits, I mainly meant France, occasionally Prussia, occasionally Spain, Poland, South Italy, and Sealand, but _he_ hardly counts as a _nation_. Of course, there's more idiots around here, but those are the ones that deserve their _own_ little highlight.

Ha. But if you have another relapse, then I do not think I would be spared from your wrath. Or if I lash out at you, as there's others currently driving me bonkers. But I hate sounding snippy at those who haven't done anything. Doing my best to keep it under control.

Hmm.

I'd rather _not_ know about Germany's, er, personal affairs. That's his _own_ business and I have no right to know. It's also rather _disgusting_.

Aren't _you_ witty, taking my British slang _literally_.

England


	456. Jessica 1

Hi, England!

We all know that you like cooking, and of course all your food is, erm,  
>delicious! -shifty eyes-<p>

But I was wondering, what is your favourite thing to cook?

Also, do you pronounce 'scone' like 'throne' or 'gone' because I pronounce it  
>like 'gone' but some people like 'throne'. Might just be a regional thing.<p>

P.S. I'm from England, but my dentist says I have perfect teeth, I don't like  
>tea, and I'm good at cooking, does this make me not a true Brit? D:<p>

* * *

><p>M-my food tastes <em>fine! <em>Why the nervous expression?

Ah. Er, I enjoy cooking a lot of different foods. My favourite are scones, however. Fish and chips is also quite easy, not to mention it's really good.

The pronunciation varies. Most people seem to say it so it rhymes with 'gone'. Personally, I use along o, so it rhymes with 'throne'. It's apparently posh pronounce it the way I do, but I think it sounds better.

Are you implying most of us have bad teeth, like tea, and can't cook? Well, the second one is mostly true, but not the _others! _Those are just unfortunate _stereotypes_. Nothing more. They're not _lifestyles_.

Just like not every American is morbidly obese, not _all_ Britons have those traits. With the exception of the second one, really. Who _doesn't_ like tea in the United Kingdom? _What_ a thought.

Anyway, it doesn't diminish your... British-ness. But to those who are daft and see the world through idiotic, standardised views, you would seem like you're not very British. No worries, though. No one listens to those _gits_.

England


	457. Sardinia 1

Hola, England I just wanted to say that I love English food scones with jam  
>and tea are one of my favorite snacks besides tomatoes and I would love it if<br>you would send me some! Also America is quite cute ya know... Please send  
>scones, caio.<p>

-Sardinia/ Celia

* * *

><p>Sardinia,<p>

I don't have time to bake scones, but I just sent you the recipe. Came up with it myself.

A-America is-?

...interesting opinion.

England


	458. Seychelles 2

Island brat? You fucktard.

Yeah, says the one that used to stare at me as I slept.

Thank you. Tell Scot that I said hi.

And I will not. I'll keep bothering you, limey.

Au reviour,

~ Seychelles

* * *

><p>You're a bint.<p>

I didn't bloody _stare_ at you; it's called watching over protectively! You were my Or what, you would have rather me gone away and you stolen or kidnapped or something? Besides, France was the one that consistently groped you! Don't you remember a _certain_ particular Christmas?

Hmph.

Munter.

D'you have nothing better to do than to write to me and insult me?

Either way, you're still part of my Commonwealth of Nations. You, in a way, are a 'limey' too.

England


	459. America 24

Arthur,

At least my food looks appetizing and isn't burnt. Anyways just because Tony  
>called you a fucking limey doesn't means he's fake. You're just thinking of<br>E.T or that other movie what was it called...oh yeah Mac and Me. Like humans  
>they have different personalities. I know for sure it's not a prop because<br>our country ain't that high tech...yet. And you do have a point about our  
>movies but they're still awesome. *sigh* and since I believe in Tony I guess<br>you're 'friends' are real too.

~Alfred

Ps, ok ok I'll stop worrying about you but if something goes wrong, you can  
>always count on the hero.<p>

* * *

><p>H-hey! My food is... fine! Yours does <em>not<em> look appetitising; whatever gave you _that_ abominable idea?

The idea of aliens existing is simply quite unlikely to me. I already explained to you what 'Tony' could be.

Your films are the _worst_ example you could have come up with, git.

What are you talking about? You have _great_ technology! You're perhaps second only to Japan.

No, your films are not in any way even slightly _respectable_.

Uni and Flying Mint Bunny and Tink and all of them are _too_ real; don't say so just to downgrade or pity me! _You're_ about the only one who can't see them! Even those who don't believe can see them when they visit England, but not _you_, you bloody thick-headed, daft, gormless dimwit!

Scornful!England


	460. Bermuda 7

Iggy~

i cant and wont tell you. it wont be much of a mystery if i did.

...that hurts bro.

neh. i still need to get my cosplay stuff here. almost done.

since one of your peoples are here then i dont have to do anything then~  
>alfie's hero stuff is startin to rub off on me.<p>

see ya later~

bermuda

PS ill be on the lookout for the british dude just to hear his accent 8)

* * *

><p>Fine, don't. I don't even bloody care. 'Mystery', my arse.<p>

Aw, boo-hoo. Here's a tissue. Can't bear the truth?

You _better_ get out of there after getting your items. I already have someone there; go find them and wait until Italy can leave the hospital, then you can fly to Italy with them, and I'll arrange for you to be flown to your _own_ house.

Japan does not want anyone faffing about in his country.

Scornful!England


	461. Mary Read 8

M-my dearest England,

I-I am sorry about this being one of t-the last letters I w-will be sending  
>y-you. *blood spatter* I bare an illness, l-love.<p>

God the world is spinning. *blood covers the next few words* I don't know what  
>to do Arthur...<p>

I a-am at St. Pauls Cathedral. I think. I-it's difficult to think right now...

Goodbye for now, Arthur,

Mary Read

* * *

><p>I... don't really know how to reply. So you're dying, for a second time, and leaving me forever. Wh-what do I say? Er. Um. God, this is... <em>weird<em>. And awkward. Um, I certainly you hope you aren't _actually_ dying, but your time to leave the mortal world has to _come_ at one point, a-and it seems like it is now.

Er. I will admit that I miss the pirating days, when you and I and all the others raided for treasure and sailed the stormy seas. And no one could beat us. Th-those were great years... you were, actually, are an irreplaceable companion. Couldn't have asked for a better crew or friend.

Th-that's all I can think off... bugger. I'm not good with this type of stuff.

England


	462. Prussia 7

Fucker,

Dude, you come with awesome me to the bars every fucking Friday night. What  
>the hell are you talking about?<p>

Oh boohoo. You had to fight with the awesome warrior here. I wonder what  
>would happen if I wasn't in that battle...Suck it up. Mein gott, you wussy.<p>

Oh wow, I can 'get lost.' I am just bawling my awesome eyes out here, I care  
>so much!<p>

Well, while I go 'fuck myself' How about you go run along and make out with  
>your fatass boyfriend? You couldn't do any better?<p>

The Awesomely Amazing Prussia

* * *

><p>Arsehole,<p>

Then why the bloody hell are you insulting me, if you have to keep pointing out I occasionally socialise with you?

For the last fucking time, I only bloody joined you because _France_ was in the opposing side! Without _my_ help, France would have beaten you.

You old codger. May I remind you again that you're not a damn country anymore, and what you say has abso-bloody-lutely no value or importance to me whatsoever? And that your beloved boss Fritz is bloody _dead_ and he is _not_ watching over you? You're a disgrace. I don't know _how_ he put up with you.

At least I've got someone; you're always alone and you cover up your pathetic little sorrow by pretending you don't care, but we _all_ know otherwise.

You're a bastard.

If you're just going to rant to me about me, don't waste your _precious_ lonely time writing to me.

Narked!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow, that is quite a change, from Canada to Prussia o.o You're doing fine~ **

**Thanks ^^**

**And yeah, it's sort of a hassle, hence me ending this at 500. It's fun, but uploading and editing and publishing and then yelling exasperatedly when I find mistakes can get annoying. **


	463. Nessy 1

My owners brother,

Go die in a hole you arse. I still resent you for doing the damned fish  
>incident... I'm going to eat you the next time I get the chance. The last time<br>I tried (a couple days ago) this weird pirate lass jumped out of nowhere and  
>stabbed me. My flipper hurts and it's your fault dammit!<p>

Nessy

* * *

><p>Ugh, it's <em>you<em>.

H-hey! I'm completely innocent! You can't prove _I_ was the one who killed the King Fish! Which I _didn't!_ But who knew there was a bloody _King_ Fish, anyway? They're _fish!_ Fish do not talk nor do they have monarchies! It isn't my fault your lake has weird magic creatures!

Hmph. Serves you right, you slimy, disgusting monster.

England


	464. Belize 25

Papi,

a-alright...

s-so... you relapsed and then I relapsed?...

My head hurts now...

oh, it came...

o-okay.. I'l go drink it now...

Belize

* * *

><p>Er, yes, pretty much.<p>

Please do. And if you still don't feel like your usual chipper self, do tell me. If something goes wrong, even if it's the slightest thing... eh, I'd rather not think about it.

England


	465. Guatemala 18

Inglaterra,

Uh, si. He took it. then he passed out. He was in depression mode when he got  
>your letter.<p>

I think he might be okay after this.

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Oh, good, so I received his letter late.<p>

Depression mode? The first thing that comes to mind is one of the World Wars... dear Lord, if he _was_ in one of those time periods and the potion fails, things will not be pretty.

But like I said, it should. I hope so.

England


	466. Scotland 6

Lad. As much as I'm sure we'd all find it damn funny t'sit through th'nasty  
>li'l lad goin' through all his history again, won' that affect quite a few<br>others that're related to his history, includin' citizens? 'Member t'keep  
>lookin' at situations like this'un with a nation's eye, not a human's.<p>

Yer a right lad sometimes. Thank ye kindly for that. It covers me lack of  
>unicorn water. Y'got any idea where t'find Wolfsbane without havin' t'go all<br>th'way to the bloody Alps? That stinkin' Swiss chased me out wi'a gun last  
>time I went t'pick it.<p>

Nessy holds grudges over lotsa stuff. Y'just gotta show 'er yer tough enough  
>fer her respect. She's a right girl once ye've done that. She can get playful,<br>though. Dragged me righ' under the lake last week. Ha. Could'a drowned, but  
>she yanked me back t'the surface jus'in time. S'all playin' with her.<p>

Wales gets mighty drunk when it's him 'n I drinkin'. Funny, though. The numpty  
>can't hold his liquor fer th'life o' him. Meanwhile, 'm on my fourth bottle o'<br>whiskey an' my hand's not even shakin' while I write this!

Now, go fix the stupid li'l neep-heid a'ready. Leavin' 'im in his awkward teen  
>years ain't gonna make life easy fer nobody.<p>

Scotland.

* * *

><p>But he's-! Ugh, <em>fine<em>. Just because I am a civilised, generous, considerate gentleman. But it's not like his history would change much- oh, alright, fine, I'll work on it. He has a _nasty_ temper, the little git.

_'Sometimes'?_ Gee, thanks Scotland. It's the least I can do for what you have done to help me so far. I can't think of another place to get wild-growing wolfsbane, but you could probably get it from another nation in which the Alps stretch through. Perhaps in Italy?

Hmph. I still don't like her, and the feeling is mutual. She actually _tried_ to drown me once. The little bint, she knows I can't swim.

You're the brawn of the United Kingdom, ha, that's probably why you're not drunk yet. Wales could probably fall and break if you as much as lightly tap his shoulder

Yeah, yeah, I'll work on it. But next time he gets himself in a bind, I'm not saving his sorry arse.

England


	467. Spain 19

Inglaterra,

Hmm? No comment.

I...I guess it's because I've dealt with him since he was a little kid-or my  
>immense amounts of patience allow me to put up with it.<p>

...this is freaky. Damn Brit-be annoying, I don't feel like being annoying  
>right now.<p>

España

* * *

><p>Spain,<p>

Patience? Hmm. Certainly wasn't that way when we attacked each other's ships back in the age of piracy. Did you even have Romano then? If you had, maybe you wouldn't have expanded so much, and I would have gotten more la-!

Ahem. Sorry.

You're calling _me_ annoying? Because if memory serves me right, _you_ wrote to me in the first place, thinly veiling a _threat_ under a mask of words.

Besides, it's not _my_ job to provoke others. When _I_ am insulted, I _retort_.

England


	468. Izzy 1

Dear Mr. United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, sir:

I LOVE YOU

No, seriously. I am in love with your country and your culture.

I've noticed something: your spelling makes WAY more sense than American  
>spelling.<p>

Your humour is WAY better than ours, too. American jokes are so often so very  
>crude... Yours are, on the whole, much more refined.<p>

AND I LOVE YOUR TEA

It's delicious.

(lol, my stepmom is British, and she makes me tea all the time. At Christmas,  
>we had pudding and custard and it was awesome.)<p>

Also (and forgive me if I'm out of line in bringing this up), but I've noticed  
>you seem to endure a good deal of ridicule and stress because of your<br>eyebrows. I want you to know that I personally love them, and I've heard from  
>very reliable sources that America finds them incredibly sexy.<p>

So (and please forgive me again, if I'm being very ignorant) why is Northern  
>Ireland a part of the UK, but Ireland is not?<p>

As you probably know, Victorian women were not supposed to enjoy sexual  
>activities. Also, they were often married to ugly, derpy old men. To help<br>them endure the awfulness, they were told to "lie back and think of England"  
>when engaging in their "marital duty," sex. What is your take on that? *evil<br>laugh*

I'm so very sorry for rambling, and If you've read this far, I'd like to thank  
>you for putting up with me. :D<p>

With love from Oklahoma,

-Izzy-chan

P.S. Attached is a box of tea and scones. I hope that they are to your  
>liking. :)<p>

* * *

><p>...why is it that I keep getting letters of declaration of love for me and my country?<p>

Anyway.

_Of course _everything about us is better. We _created_ the language, after all; yours is the weird way of writing. Same for accents. It's called _English_, we the English are speaking it right, not _you_. It's a peeve of mine when Americans claim _we're_ the odd ones.

Calling it American 'humour' is being too generous. You are absolutely correct with that statement, and I don't think I could have phrased it better myself.

Tea _is_ delicious. A fact.

Er, a-alright...?

The Ireland conflict is rather complex, so I'll do my best to summarise it simply.

The Roman Catholics (mainly nationalists) and Protestants (mainly unionists) have been going at it there for _years_. The former wanted to be united with Ireland , the latter wanted to remain a part of the United Kingdom. Enough bloodshed eventually led to Ireland seceding and Northern Ireland staying with us.

In a way, Ireland was like another America. There were those who wanted to leave and those still loyal to the crown. But unlike America, which eventually gained its whole independence, Ireland was split.

Sadly, the feuds there have not ended. I don't know if they ever will. But for the most part, a large portion of Northern Irelanders wish to continue being part of the UK, so I'm not too worried over a hypothetical war breaking out.

_Sigh_. The Victorian era was an... _interesting_ time period. It was prosperous, and great advancement sin everything form literature to art were made. Yet at the same time poverty increased, and the rapid, often unsafe industrialisation meant pollution and disease were abound. I myself take pride in this time; it was like another English Renaissance.

_However_. That little remark often said to young women _did_ not, and still _does_ not, particularly please me. I tried to avoid thinking about it, and still do, _thanks_. It's _not_ an amusing thought knowing the women of your country are being forced to - er, you know - simply so they could please their husbands. And under _my_ name.

There is _never_ a time when I do not enjoy tea and cones.

England


	469. Brazil 1

Querido Inglaterra, (Dear England)

Whoa...A bunch of letters you've got, huh? How much of patience you still  
>have, principally because America is writing to you too?<p>

So, you wanna come over to my party, next Friday? There will be whiskey, rum  
>and even caipirinha~! You'll come over, right? I knoooow you love to drink~!<p>

Love,

Daniela da Silva. (Brazil)

* * *

><p>Brazil,<p>

Since it's all for strengthening political ties, I've got to have _quite_ some patience, especially when dealing with _gits_. Granted, not every nation is an idiot; I happen to like some, but _very_ few. But I can deal with America. I _did_ raise him.

I appreciate your invitation, but if I'm not done with, er, _other_ duties by then, I may not be able to.

England


	470. Bristol and Bath 2

Bristol: Hi Dad, it's Bristol

Bath: And Bath, if you can't remember us, we are the twins.

Bristol: But I'm the better looking one, of course!

Bath: Anyway, we wanted to know if there was a reason that you haven't visited  
>us in a while?<p>

Bristol: Is it because you are hanging out with America?

Bath: Also, have you received the Christmas and birthday presents that we have  
>sent you?<p>

Bristol: Also, do you have a ship that I can borrow?

Love Bristol and Bath

* * *

><p>Bristol and Bath,<p>

Of course I know who you are, you don't need to clarify. You're family, after all.

Bristol, no arguing! And you're _twins_; you look the _same_.

I've been busy with other things. I apologise for not visiting you. Please do not try to 'crash' into my house, either. Last time was bad enough and I _personally_ had to pay for the broken windows.

Yes, I received your presents. I'm glad you both take the time to send me something.

No, Bristol, I will not give you a ship. Don't think I've forgotten what happened to the _last_ few. You two can be destructive.

England


	471. Croatia 5

*smirks* Give it to Hungary, then.

I'll take it for you *evil grin*... Hehe... Mangary is always kind to me  
>unlike fem!Hungary... hehe...<p>

Klara Igrec

* * *

><p>Whatever do you <em>mean?<em> I will _not_ make Hungary a man!

And no, Croatia, _you_ better decide _what_ the bloody hell you want to be, female or male, before I choose your gender myself and then promptly ignore your annoying git self forever.

England


	472. Veneziano 8

Mr. England,

Ve, I'm a bit dizzy right now, and my wrist does ache a bit, but it's nothing  
>serious! I'm sure I can handle the flight home.<p>

The doctors do not want me to leave until I've stayed the night at a hospital  
>though. I don't know why; I don't THINK I hit my head or anything, and they're<br>speaking too quickly for me to understand.

I had a good reason to jump, ve! They tried handcuffing me and when I resisted  
>one of the officers shot at me! I don't like fighting, and the window was<br>right there, so...

I-If that's what you want, Mr. England... I don't want to leave without  
>knowing if he's alright, but if seeing me could make him worse then I won't.<br>...especially if I remind him of the Second World War...

Trying to understand what everyone is saying is making my head really hurt...  
>Ve, I'll go tell him once he comes back. He's talking to the doctors right<br>now.

...I've been better, Mr. England, but it's not bad enough to complain about,  
>honest. I just wish they'd let me out of the cell. It's not very<br>comfortable...

Ve, the doctors are back. I'm going to see what they want. I'll write back  
>once I find out if they're letting me leave or not.<p>

Veneziano

* * *

><p>Italy,<p>

Then it's best if you stay one more night there; then my assistant can fly you to Italy. If he starts to get anxious and antsy, just ignore him. He's not a bad person either, as he may come across like that, but he _can_ get a bit crabby and impatient.

He seems to be fine now, but better safe than sorry. You can visit him later when I'm certain he's completely mentally stable. I am assured he is, but I'd rather let Japan just rest and not have to be bothered with any visits.

They will let you leave; my assistant is very persuasive, and I'm sure Japans government is fine now. Stay one more night and then my helper will accompany you to Italy, but then he is going to fly back home, so don't worry when that happens.

England


	473. Washington DC 18

You were the one who talked like this around me! Pfft, Gentleman.

Most of them are, true. But there are quite a few I like. What about the  
>Chronicles of Narnia? That's an American movie isn't it? I though Mutant<br>Chronicles was pretty good too. MacGruber was funny as hell, and Inception had  
>a good plot.<p>

What's wrong with Russia? He's nice to me. We write letters to each other when  
>we can't talk or visit. Everyone keeps saying he tries to make people "Become<br>with him" but he's never tried to force me into anything. We always go and sit  
>in my Sunflowers out back that Kansas gave me. He's sweet, and cute in a<br>childish sort of way~ Sometime we watch some of his Russian movies together,  
>but they always scare me. Aw, man, you should've SEEN the last drinking<br>contest him, Prussia and Denmark had!

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. England, She's starting to scare me.

- Ohio

* * *

><p>Because <em>I'm<em> not a young lady. I used to be a pirate as well, don't forget that. But yes, I _am_ a gentleman _now_, thank you.

The Chronicles of Narnia are based on books written by a British author; you can't possibly consider it an _American_ film. Besides, I'm fairly sure Britons worked on it. Again, it's based on something one of _my_ people made, and surely the producers must have needed the approval of one of C. S. Lewis' descendants to make it. Rather, it is a British-American film collaboration.

I have never heard of the second one.

What! That _disgraceful _and _distasteful_ MacGruber '_film_' includes _explosions_, which fit in to my criteria of what makes American films _awful_.

Inception has an _innumerable_ amount of explosions, as well.

Russia's trying to trick you. It wasn't called the Cold War for nothing. America and he lied to each other face-to-face, but everyone can see past a poorly-made mask.

You're the capital. You should be more wary.

England


	474. Valencia 28

England,

You were a good father (even though half the word says the opposite)

A "congratulations" would have been ok... ._.

If he molests any of my sisters again... hmpff! u.u

Love,

Valencia

* * *

><p>Valencia,<p>

Hmm, thanks. To those former territories of mine who dislike me, I don't listen to them. They speak jealous words; they don't know how to properly think without a _hatred_ for me consuming them, sadly.

Er, but _that_ would have been a _lie_. You're _siblings_. D'you really expect me to think that's_ alright?_ I know most nations are related to each other in some way, but it's _fairly_ _distant_. You two are related to each other _directly_.

You know he will attempt to do so; it's bloody France.

England


	475. Ely 19

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

Yes, sir. You certainly are a gentleman... Something I highly admire.

O_o Uhh... Wow. You must really be eager to mess with him in a point of  
>weakness, huh? Well I suppose I could give it a try if it makes you happy. :D<p>

*gasp* A fairy? Really! So... So... I CAN see magical creatures? *super  
>excited* Oh gosh, I think I hear more jingling! *looks around* Miss Fairy,<br>where are you? Please let me see you...

~Ely

* * *

><p>Hmm, for now, I have to leave that wine-sipping bastard alone. I've caused enough <em>turmoil<em> as it is. But should the frog ever be in a weakened state, I'll _certainly_ do something to my advantage.

I don't suppose you're in England? Even non-believers can see them when they visit (except apparently America). It's quite odd, but it lets them know my magical friends are not an _illusion_ or a _hallucination_. Those who refuse to see the _truth_ are simply small-minded...

England


	476. Florida 5

Iggers,

"Munter?"

Oh, no! I'm being assaulted by English insults! How will I survive?

Not.

Asshole.

Gawd, I'm starting to know where Dad got all of his inner angsty.

From some British bastard named Arthur-fucking-Kirkland.

Sending you three gallons of mental arsenic,

Florida

((To Author and other Readers: I'm trying to push Iggy back into history mode.  
>That was so fun to read!))<p>

* * *

><p>Isn't someone trying to appear older and mature than they are? Oh, you deserve a <em>standing<em> ovation for your bravery and heroism that certainly no one has dared to do before!

_Please_, you muppet. I get this daily. D'you really think _you_ can set me off by a few simple words?

I've had worse insults said to me by better people.

...well, that may have happened once already, but It wasn't you who did so. You're one of the parts of America that I never colonised, but if I ever had, I would have _boxed_ your bloody ears at the words you are writing to me.

If you're just going to insult me, don't even bother.

Know this letter will certainly feed the fire I kindled, as will everything else I receive from you, should I find it annoying.

Scornful!England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: England's not bothered too much by Florida. She'll have to try harder to set him off, if at all.**


	477. Native America 4

Hello Mr Kirkland,

Sorry for me not sending in any letters lately- But I hope your not to  
>disappointed in me not responding to your last letter.<p>

How has thou been of late?

Again, my apologies,

Chochmingwu (Corn Mother/ Native America)

* * *

><p>Hmm, it's fine. I've been busy with other things as well, so it's not like you missed out on the world's greatest conversation or anything.<p>

I'm currently more worried trying to save New England's arse than myself, but I suppose I'm alright, if just flustered.

And yourself? I don't remember if I apologised to you for acting rashly and possessively before, as I did during the age of exploration, but I was simply, er, relapsing. Sorry.

England


	478. Moscow 15

Dear Mister Angliya,

I'm not even going to ask Father. His logic is so very foolish. I hope so,  
>too.<p>

With France? No. Just no. If I had a gun with only two shots and I were  
>trapped in a room with three men, two of which were threatening to drop atomic<br>bombs on me and France, I would shoot France. Twice. Down there. He's a  
>pervert.<p>

What a silly thought! Slightly daft? I'm assuming you haven't seen her when  
>she finally admits to being ill or injured? She waits until everything is bad<br>and then she'll finally admit that something is wrong. Even then, she acts a  
>fool. Last time she was ill, it took Arianna knocking her out to get her to<br>actually rest. That's not slightly daft. That's insane.

I don't blame you. They're very effective on most of my family. You're welcome  
>to use them on Father. He'll turn tail and run faster than you can blink.<p>

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

Quite.

Ha, I'm glad to know you hate France as much as I do. I would do the same thing, and drop the atomic bombs on his house for good measure...

I'm not going to insult her. Your words, not mine. The only nations I am willing to openly discuss about how much I hate them are France. Always. But if one of these many European gits annoys me, I won't hesitate to retort, either.

I would ally with Belarus, but truth be told, she rivals Russia in terms of being creepy. The only thing I could offer her for her 'friendship' is your father, and I most certainly would _not_ do that.

England


	479. Japan 15

Iggirisu-san,

If suffering is justified, I do not see why not. I do not believe it is pride.  
>It is simple responsibility.<p>

.. I choose not to comment. Neither shall I do a search on it, if neither of us  
>wish. Whoever wished to intercept it has done a shameful job.<p>

Please confirm Japan's current standing according to how the United Kingdom of  
>Great Britain and Northern Ireland sees it. I believe it would help in both our<br>standings about each other.

Please do not worry about him. He is under the safe care of my people. While  
>you may have sent him here, he is in my land and therefore, my responsibility.<p>

Please do not worry. He should be fine.. I believe he's looking for one of  
>your people? You need not come and pick him up. He was here for a reason even<br>before he knew of the incident with Italia-san

But I thank you for your understanding.

Japan

* * *

><p>Japan,<p>

Your way of thinking is much different than mine. I don't believe the ends justify the means.

Relations between our two nations remain strong. A little... _incident_ like that isn't going to change our ties with you. I hope you see it the same way.

Hmm, I already sent someone; he'll be flying home tomorrow. I already arranged everything. Thanks for tending him in the meantime, however. Your generosity and hospitality never falters.

England


	480. Bermuda 8

IGGY.

BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA =( IT CAN FRICKIN HAPPEN.

yea yea sure sure. im takin my sweet time now~ oh and if feli's in da hospital  
>ill check up on him then.<p>

i can figure out how to get home myself, thank you very much.

i just wanted to hear the british guy's accent. maybe throw a random stick at  
>him or somethin.<p>

neh. ill try to slip mr kiku some pocky under the door. if he doesnt try to  
>kill me with his sword then ill be alright~<p>

from bermuda~

PS pocky is way better than your food bro.

* * *

><p>Bermuda, bloody behave yourself! You show up as an uninvited guest and then you just fool around?<p>

Do what I have been ordering you to do. I don't want any irrational behaviour in your part. You make me look bad if you act foolishly.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I apologise for the tardiness. We finally got rain and the power went out. Typical Texas t-storm.**

**Anyway, I think this is the last go-around! I said I'd end this at 500, and it looks like I already have enough reviews to fill that in. So I may not reply to yours because I'll stop once I get to 500 as promised.**


	481. New England 16

England,

Y-Yeah yeah meant what you said, whatever..-ow...fucking head..

Anyway, I will make this quick to keep from getting angry again or relapsing  
>again, so I don't get your undies in a twist. I'm not..liking this anymore<br>than you do, and don't deny c-crap, you're getting to your wits end and so am  
>I.<p>

So until t-this relapsing passes..I'll attempt to reply only when I don't feel  
>so much..hatred? Sure, hatred towards you. Whatever-<p>

Daamn. I r-really piss you off, don't I? Hahaha...

I hope this doesn't take to long-

Not so generous yourself ARTIE, considering this entire letter you sent me.

Bye,

New England

* * *

><p>I MADE THE POTION!<p>

Are you _bloody_ happy?

Scotland convinced me to concoct it. So be damn grateful, you git. I don't trust the mailing system in handling something as precious as an ageing potion, so one of my unicorns will be travelling to America and delivering it.

Then you should be cured, at last. It seems your behaviour is less violent now, but this will permanently fix it.

England


	482. Hungary 37

England,

Oh, alright-Err, no need to clarify that far, haha.

..Does that mean you know WHO does that behind my back? I would absolutely  
>LOVE to hear who.<p>

When I bash their heads in I'll make sure not to mention any names, you're  
>safe~<p>

Oh yes those simply are some of the more annoying-Well, at least I could see  
>them being annoying to you. I happen to like most of those people. Spain and<br>Poland would be perfect examples~

Most likely not no, haha~ It's always the second time someone makes me mad  
>that it gets very...costly? Sure, that's it.<p>

I've noticed. Hm, mainly parts of America you mean? I'm not too surprised on  
>that. That's considerate of you trying to not lash out at the innocent though.<p>

...I wish I didn't know either. It is disgusting, and this is coming from a  
>yaoi fan-girl~<p>

I know! I am quite resourceful with humor~

Hungary

* * *

><p>Hungary,<p>

Well, you asked, so I explained.

D'you really _not_ know who gossips about you behind your back? You and Poland are practically attached at the hip, and God knows how he gets information on all the countries. But anyway. It doesn't take a blabbermouth like Poland to know who whispers about you.

...I mean, _really_. Think of the _one_ person who you've always had an unsteady relationship with. Just _think_ and realise the truth.

...but I have a feeling you'd end up guessing the wrong person in blind fury, so I'll just write it. _Prussia_. Of course, I don't listen to what he blabs about you, but it's no secret he tries to slander you.

I don't mind if you bash his head in. It's bloody _Prussia_. It's not like your frying pan is a stranger to the back of his head, either.

There is _never_ a time when America, or one of his states, is not annoying me. _Ever_.

Ugh... say no more on it, please.

Hmm, aren't you. Have a medal for your great sense in humour.

England


	483. Guatemala 19

Inglaterra,

He just woke up now. And hos depression mode was during the 1930's.

He's acting normal now. Talking about his imaginary friends and whatnot...

...I'm going to go make la cena now...

Guatemala

* * *

><p>Guatemala,<p>

That's _great_. I'm very much relieved.

Support him more on the 'imaginary friends' issue. They're quite real, I assure you.

England


	484. Belize 26

Hola Papi~

I took that potion thingy. Then I took a nap! Now I feel much better!

Yay~ big sister Guatemala's making lunch~ although I think I could cook too...  
>but she won't let me near the kitchen anymore.<p>

Oh well~ I'm gonna go contact Panama and tell him I'm not dead! I heard he's  
>been worried about me.<p>

Belize

* * *

><p>Belize,<p>

That's wonderful! My magic worked! Er, not that it wouldn't in the first place, ahaha.

You're certainly behaving like you normally would... hmm, I'll have to remember exactly how I made this potion. It was _quite_ a success.

Ha, listen to your big sister for now, alright? You might also want to inform Panama you indeed are not dead. If any rumours fly about your 'death' then I've a feeling _I_ would get blamed for it all.

I'm happy you're feeling fine again, really.

England


	485. Nessy 2

My Owners Brother,

THAT'S THE LAST STRAW YOU TEA DRINKING NINNY. I'm swimming up the Thames  
>right now and I'm going to eat you!... If that wired pirate girl doesn't come<br>and kill me first...

But either way I'm going to get you- Opps, someone saw me.

Go fall in a hole and die,

Nessy

* * *

><p>Mary's dead and gone, git.<p>

Ha! At least _I_ can't die. What say if I declared fishing season on the Thames and Loch Ness, and a reward for your_ head?_

England


	486. Atlantis 1

Dear Bushy Brows,

Salve, It's me, Atlantis.~ So how have you been, monster brows? Uh... Hrm..  
>Could you send me some scones? I got this dare from Prussia.. and well, He<br>said if I didnt die from eating them, He'd leave me alone for a week... Ugh I  
>feel so t- *long scribblely line here*<p>

Hm? Why is there a line? Well, anywho, Anything interesting go on lately? Oh  
>and..*a blot of ink as if someone stopped writing, but left the pen on the<br>paper* Ugh, I guess I'll have to cut this letter short.

With Hugs and Fishes (see what I did there?)

Atlantis

Ps, Try not to burn the scones

Pss, Scratch that, thats impossible.

* * *

><p>Atlantis? What the hell? You sank long ago.<p>

What! A bloody dare from that albino sod? I'm damned if I _agree_ to that.

Why don't you just listen to him blab on about himself, instead? He tells the most _wonderful_ stories. Then, you'll _really_ die by pointing a gun at your temple and pulling the trigger.

You annoy me.

Just like Prussia.

Hmph.

Looks like you too are meant to be! Both aren't supposed to exist and are whiny fools.

_Great_ pun.

Scornful!England


	487. Brazil 2

Querido Inglaterra,

I can imagine the scene: yourself, sitting on your chair, drinking some tea  
>while working, looking calm, while inside your head you're practically<br>screaming your brains out. Somehow, I feel guilty for disturbing you with my  
>letters, so I'm really sorry, Arthur.<p>

...I-it's okay if you can't come over. R-really. But maybe next time, right?

Maybe I'll just send you a bottle or two of rum and whiskey.

...Maybe ten bottles. That's if you want them, of course.

Love,

Brazil.

* * *

><p>Brazil,<p>

That describes how I feel during world meetings very well. Honestly.

Don't feel bad. You wouldn't have known.

Perhaps. I do not want to say for certain yes or no, because it could change, so I'll leave it at 'maybe'.

You don't _have_ to do that, but, ahem, it would be appreciated.

England


	488. Ely 20

England,

Well I would ask why you hate France so much, sir... but I figure you'd tell  
>me either way since it seems you have plenty reason to dislike him. Either<br>way, anger and rancor lead a very unhealthy and bitter lifestyle, and seeing  
>as you are undoubtedly immortal I suggest you try to focus more on things that<br>make you happy, like your magical creatures. ^_^ I wish I had some of my own  
>in times of loneliness and emotional turmoil. I guess it's the small things<br>that make a big difference, no?

Actually I'm on my way to your homeland! I found the tickets you sent to me  
>with your first reply and I arranged a trip in hopes to meet you in person. I<br>just need to remember to look both ways and not get run over since you guys  
>drive opposite of Americans! ^^'<p>

Anyway, I hope I get to meet you soon. If not.. well... It has been a pleasure  
>writing to you, sir. I apologize for the times I may have made you upset and I<br>appreciate your communicating with me!

Take care and hope to see you soon!

"Parting is such sweet sorrow..."

~A Devoted Fan,

Ely

* * *

><p>Pfft, if I stated the reasons for me disliking France, I could write a novel.<p>

Are you suggesting that I'm not healthy because there's gits out there? The world is always going to be full of idiots; it's not my fault my view of people is quite low. But if you live with only happiness, that's too... _too_.. I don't know, too much like _America_. Truly, to have a balanced lifestyle, you would need _some_ way to let your hatred burn through. You couldn't keep it all inside and there's no such thing as a person who dislikes nothing or no one.

That's great, but I may not be able to see you. Apparently, there's a world meeting being speculated. When this happens, I'm always on edge and I'd rather bet on it being organised than doing nothing, waiting until last minute to arrange it all.

...but if you're taking the time to quote Shakespeare, perhaps I _could_.

England


	489. Japan 16

Iggirisu-san,

That is true, but that is the way life works. It is more.. interesting this  
>way I do admit. Difference can be a complement.<p>

Then shall I believe our relations have reverted back to before this  
>incidents? If so, I am glad, Asa-san. From the 1600s to now, I believe I must<br>explain myself.

I was hurt, very much so, when you had left me without a word. By then, my  
>feelings were already blooming and that made it hurt all the more. But I was<br>happy we managed to become closer. I wished we would always be close and if  
>possible, even closer what we were and are now. I will say one thing to you<br>now, when I have the courage to do so.

My feelings have not changed since.

I have always admired you and respected you. You were always brave and were  
>able to articulate whatever you wished to convey. I will try do so in this<br>letter.

How a person refers to another shows the proximity between the two. San for  
>formal, Kun for being close friends. To call a name without any suffixes is to<br>show one of the closest bonds. A bond between those who love each other. I  
>would not wish to burden you by asking you to call me that straight away,<br>but..

Could you call me by my name? I have long since given you permission to. Ever  
>since I asked if I may refer to you as Asa-kun.<p>

May I?

Honda Kiku

p.s, If you feel uncomfortable, please take your time. I shall await your  
>answer at the meeting next week. I hope to have my name graced by your lips if<br>you do accept. If you do not.. I do not wish our ties to be strained. I  
>believe we can work something out.<p>

I-I do not believe you would hate me for feeling this way, from your actions  
>during the incident. If you do, however then please forget this letter had<br>ever existed.

I await your answer

(once again)

Honda Kiku

* * *

><p><em>Oh<em>.

Er.

Um. Um, um, umm...

Dear God, _I'm_ the daft one sometimes.

Japan, I'm sorry if it came across that I, er, had feelings for you. I hate being the villainous arsehole in the story, but, um... yeah. I see you only as a friend. A very good one at that; don't get me wrong, but, um, not anything more. I'm... sorry.

Er, I didn't realise. I'm sorry if I... um, led you to believe otherwise.

Your words are, um, r-really kind, and it... flatters me, but, uh, yeah.

N-no, I don't hate you. You can... erm, feel whatever you want t-to, I guess, but it's not... mutual. Not like _that_, anyway.

Um, I'll see you at the next meeting. I suppose it is being, er, o-organised after all.

So, um. Yes. I'll... see you?

England


	490. Spain 20

Inglaterra,

...No, of course not. And yes, I did have Romano at that time...why?

...I'm going to ignore that-for my sanity and the betterment of your health.

Si! Es verdad, Inglaterra! You sit at meetings and complain about poor Alfie  
>and the kid just tries to make the world better-yes, he may go about it the<br>wrong way and piss all off, but still.

Oi, it's not my fault that you're stuffy and arrogant, and deserve to be put  
>in your damn place every once and awhile El diablo~.<p>

Oh? You do enough provoking to last a normal person a lifetime, Inglaterra.  
>Your retorts come from your damn ass, Inglaterra, because you know all insults<br>about you are true and you have no good comeback~ or you can't for intelligent  
>frases, either or.<p>

España

* * *

><p>I really <em>don't<em> care, you dago.

Oh, because _you're_ pure in God's eyes?

Hmph. Your arse must get _really_ jealous of all the shite that comes out of your _mouth_.

Scornful!England


	491. Canada 3

England,

I suppose I'm a little more...see-through, then most countries. But I can't  
>really help it, eh. I always had the smallest thought it might be because of<br>Al, but I know he's not doing it on purpose either.

Thank you lots England, eh? An-and yes, that should be me, with the wavy  
>hair...<p>

I'll, um, make a mental note to do that, then. The next conference is coming  
>soon, eh.<p>

P-please, no need to apologize; all's fine now, eh?

No, C-Canada is fine! Kuma..Kumafiro...K-Kumipher...erm..Kuma (?) says hi.

Canada

* * *

><p>...who are you, again?<p>

England


	492. Moscow 16

Dear Mister Angliya,

I wouldn't be able to. Madrid considers him family, so she'd sic Enrique on me  
>for hurting her uncle. He has walked into her house when I'm visiting before.<br>The results are... awkward, for lack of a better word. The same goes for  
>Prussia, though that's because he and I have a certain loathing for each<br>other. Arrogance annoys me.

Hn. So you haven't seen her snap. I don't hate her. She's a very good friend,  
>she's just... on occasion, she has very strange logic. You're bound to see it<br>one day.

Simply give Belarus advice on how to gain Father's affections. She will be  
>very pleasant to you forever after, and it doesn't entail offering Father up<br>to her.

Da svedanya, moy drug, Moskva

* * *

><p>Moscow,<p>

It _escapes_ me how anyone could _like_ that cheese-eating surrender monkey, too.

Prussia can be... alright, but he _is_ really arrogant. He gives a _whole_ different meaning to that word.

I hope I don't see _any_ other nation snap, _ever_. I've had enough to last me a lifetime, thank you. And I'm immortal. I think. I rather _hope_ so.

There's a world meeting happening soon... I may have to actually _talk_ to that barmy munter. _Sigh_. It's not like anything ever gets done in them, anyway.

England


	493. Madrid 24

Señor Inglaterra,

I should have, though, wnen Papa relapsed back to his days as un conqu-

Me? Level-head? Who told you that? Was it Moscow? No, we agreed that I was  
>batshit insane, so it couldn't have been her. Is Arianna writing to you? Or<br>maybe Papa told you I was normal? Because that's a lie. Everyone else says I  
>need a straightjacket!<p>

...Or a shot of tequila, because I get really sleepy when I have a shot of  
>tequila. Tequila sounds kind of like 'to kill you.' To-kill-ya. Aha! I know<br>the real purpose of tequila! I feel smart! I kind of want to drink now. Hm...  
>time to talk to Arianna y Morana!<p>

I dunno... a lot? Keep up the good work! Really, we don't need more wars. My  
>head still hurts...<p>

Madrid

P.S. Oh, hey, I met your brother! He's very nice.

* * *

><p>Madrid,<p>

Erm, no, it just seems to me like you have a decent head on your shoulders. *cough* ButImayneedtorethinkthat. *cough*

That's an... _interesting_ theory as to tequila's purpose.

Er. Are you feeling alright in the head? Ahaha...

I have _three_ brothers. Who was it?

England


	494. Sicily 4

To the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

I suppose. *sigh* When I find out, I'll tell you.

I guess. But nothing I couldn't handle.

As far as I know, Canada doesn't use magic. He's just very quiet.

I see. So, it's just another meal. That's piuttosto fresco (pretty cool). I  
>think I might try some tea, any types you recommend?<p>

Arrivederci,

Angelica Vargas (Italy Sicilia)

* * *

><p>Sicily,<p>

Hmm.

Well, yes, he's always been quiet, but, he... er. Um, he... what was I talking about, again? Sorry. Mind must have gone blank for a moment there.

It's a very _light_ meal; it's not like we stuff ourselves full.

_All_ types of tea are wonderful, but my favourite is perhaps Earl Grey.

England


	495. Washington DC 19

That gentleman thing was sarcastic, by the way. So what if I'm a girl? That  
>shouldn't have anything to do with it. My, my, England, I thought you were<br>above using genders as basis for behaviors...

Okay, now you're just being mean.

Seriously, man? Maybe he really IS just lonely and you all to scared of him to  
>try and be friends. He's just a bit intimidating, is all.<p>

I know, and I am. Maybe you just don't think actually being FRIENDS outside of  
>politics is exactly safe.<p>

Love,

Aleckis

* * *

><p>It most certainly was not. Why would you need to be sarcastic when it's perfect truth, hmm? Haha!<p>

I'm not a sexist, if that's what you are implying; I merely think _young_ women should have more grace and manners, as they used to during my Victorian period. The wealthier ones, at least. Either way, I also insist on male youth to use manners. Otherwise, the United Kingdom would be seen as slobs. I _do_ have a lot of boy crown dependencies, overseas territories, whatever they may be. If they acted like gits, my name would not be as clear as it is.

It's not being mean if it's true. After all, the truth hurts, doesn't it?

That's an _understatement_. Were you actually using your eyes and ears when the Soviet Union was around, or were you blindly ignoring it all? You _never_ let your guard down on anyone you even as _slightly_ dislike.

No, it really isn't. There's very few nations I trust, and with good reason. That's the way history, politics, and diplomacy work, love. Two nations can be friends... if one is dead.

England


	496. Florida 6

Iggers,

Thank god I was colonized by Spain. I would have turned out a lot worse if you  
>had colonized me, and after you got me out of the trade after the Seven Years<br>War, you got your dues. You didn't feel so good after that bastard Dr.  
>Turnbull(shit)'s colony succumbed to an epic fail of leadership, disease, and<br>my Native self's personal favorite, Native American raids.

I didn't mind losing my "West" self. Spain got control of me again, and by  
>God, I was going to stay with him til Dad got control. Your leadership sucked<br>worse than your cooking, and I used to think that nothing sucked worse than  
>your cooking.<p>

By the way, you should keep your grabby hands off of my dad. The only person  
>your "gentlemanly" self deserves is an armed, drunk France.<p>

I really despise every aspect of your entire existence.

~Florida

* * *

><p>I'm sorry, what was that?<p>

I can't hear your whiny rants over the sound of _me not giving a damn_.

England


	497. Serbia 16

England

Sorry it took so long for me to send this letter. I've been spending time with  
>Montenegro and finally managed to get Russia out of my house. The beaches are<br>a good place for me to spend time away everything. I envy you a little for  
>being an island. Being a landlocked country isn't always great. Montenegro<br>wishes you well.

Things are going well here in the Balkans. Greece is having his own problems,  
>but that's not new. I've been trying to experiment a little with making<br>brandy. Russia insisted on getting me a water pipe, but I put that in the  
>basement once he left and I've not looked at it since.<p>

Serbia

* * *

><p>Serbia,<p>

Hmm, pleasant to hear from you again. I was beginning to think something awful happened there, as the Balkans have been _mysteriously_ quiet lately.

Send my regards to Montenegro, as well.

Oh, _that's_ why it's been rather still over there. Well, as long as there is peace for now, I suppose that's alright.

Ha, I see you haven't changed.

England


	498. Ireland 4

Big brother England,

OK. I won't. Thank you, Artie. You made me feel so much better!

I didn't give him the Guinness, he stole it from my cellar. Then when I locked  
>it, he just ran away and went to every pub in town! He always comes back<br>falling over and I just can't stop him- he's turned into a bit of an  
>alcoholic!<p>

I wasn't blaming him, I was just curious. Well, I can understand why they'd  
>want some freedom- that's very nice of you to let them out.<p>

How's the magic going? And how's the pervert frog and that loud-mouth 'hero'?  
>*rolls eyes*<p>

Not much else is new... Our taoiseach (prime minister)/my boss unveiled his  
>new cabinet in March... that's it really. Anything else you need to tell me<br>about?

Your little sister,

Iona/Ireland

* * *

><p>Ireland,<p>

You're welcome.

I suppose he has _some_ of the United Kingdom's genes in him, then. Ha. You deserve a better friend. I've never liked him, the little git.

It's the right thing to do, and who am I to refuse their inquires?

Ah, it seems I got... mostly everything back in order. Then again, there's always going to be _something_ that _someone_ asks me to fix.

I don't know how the frog's doing, nor do I care.

H-hey, now. America's been busy in the Middle East, as always. I'm sort of getting dragged along, ugh. And _yes_, he's loud and boisterous, but he's not _that_ bad.

Hmm, no, not really anything else. But there's going to be a world meeting soon, anyway, so if I missed anything, it will hopefully be addressed there. But don't get your hopes up. You know how _productive_ we always are there.

England


	499. Native America 5

Dear Mr. Kirkland

I have been... unwell but I have been like that for the last couple centuries.  
>But I am stubborn and I will persevere.<p>

I'm sending you a tomahawk to beat some sense into that brat New England.

Think nothing of it, friend. Relapses get in the way.

Chochmingwu (Corn Mother/Native America)

* * *

><p>I <em>am<em> rather sorry for your current state. It's partly my fault.

It seems he's better now. But if I visit America soon, I will take care of New England's punishment myself. I don't necessarily want to _kill_ him.

England


	500. America 25

Arthur,

Ok ok I'm sorry. Don't get mad at me and the idea about your food comes from  
>just about everyone Italy, Germany hell, even ask Russia. At least you admit<br>my technology is awesome though *sigh*. Oh and I'm having some issues with  
>Afghanistan so I might be gone for a few days. I'll miss you.<p>

~Alfred F. Jones

* * *

><p><em>Sigh<em>. I'm sorry for yelling at you. New England had been irritating me. Discipline him better. Not that I won't myself;f I'll see him _quite_ soon.

Hmph.

You do realise that you're also dragging me to your bloody wars? _Sigh_. I'll continue supplying troops to you, but really, why must you fight so many? Will you make any difference at all there?

Anyway. You better get your arse back here soon; we have a world meeting coming up.

I'll see you, I hope? Er. Imaybemissyoutoo.

England

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aaaand I'm done~! Thanks to all who submitted letters and read this. You're all awesome. 'Twas fun while it lasted.**

**But this may _not_ be the last you hear of me. Muahahaha.**


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